This is my first post, but i've been following TRP for a while now. I've always wanted to tell my story of this HB8 who I thought was a unicorn or the 'one', but I never felt comfortable enough to do so. But that phase is over, so here goes nothing boys.
It all started last year when I just recently discovered TRP. I was still having my doubts about this and everything I read on this subreddit, my brain immediately thought it was bullshit. Thing is I came back from a trip from Italy and I called an old friend to see how she was doing. We started hanging out for a long time, to the point that I started showing her TOO much intertest. I mean, we were seeing each other every weekend for 4 months straight. In my blue-pilled mind I thought 'This is great, she MUST like me for seeing her frequently'. I never asked her out on an official date and when I had chances to make a move I always pussied out. I thought to myself that I'm acting like a bitch and I started ignoring her and going out to clubs (without knowing I had a phase of abundance mentality), and she started going crazy, asking me where I was and shit. Then, as the horrible disease that it is, my oneitis came back to me and hit me harder than before. For a 2 month period I had no physical contact with any other girl and I started seeing her again. My brain thought, this was perfect. I thought she could actually be the one, she as feminine, submissive, all those perfect signs. However, one day we're talking and she pulls out the dreaded 'best-friend' card bullshit on me. That's when I snapped. That's when I realized that AWALT. They crave attention. They need it. They can't live without it. Hell, I'm pretty sure that she was interested at first (she showed alot of IOI), but for taking to too fucking long (a.k.a playing the nice guy), it all went downhill. She was just using me as a shoulder to cry on and to get over her fucking ex. From that day, I used the TRP to make a better life for myself. Never be shackled to a fucking woman, I lost 6 months of my fucking life for nothing. Don't make that mistake guys.
TL:DR
A girl may seem perfect to you, she's fucking not. Just fucking go for it or ignore her, either way you've got nothing to lose against her.
P.S Grammar isn't perfect, english ain't my first language.
africandestroyer1488 5y ago
You gotta tap it or make your goals clear within at least 1 week imo. Any longer and it's friend status and another dudes turn. Funny enough, with girls I don't really care about that's always easy but oneitis it's always difficult.
Aufbruch 5y ago
Sorry to hear about your awkward and emotionally painful experience with this particular woman.
Could you perhaps tell us of your experiences with other women that have led you to the "AWALT" conclusion, though?
LAdude71 5y ago
The lesson was learned. I'm not obsessing now. Just like the OP can stop obsessing. There's nothing special about these women. Any special uniqueness about any woman is an illusion caused by a sense of desperation. Kill the desperation by going out there and meeting more women. Or better yet work your life's purpose.
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epictetus_irl 5y ago
The brain is weird. If you had one source of food your brain would make you do anything to not lose it. Same with intimacy.
We’ve all been there man. Just recognise is as your programming and correct course. Meet more women.
Gurisito 5y ago
"Meet more woman", pretty much this, always be flirting with many woman.
GreatGoldSphinx 5y ago
You didn't lose six months of your life for nothing. Rather, you learned and internalized one of the most important lessons of your life. Be happy you broke out of the Matrix. Escalate early, make your intentions known, and move on if there is no reciprocated interest.
TonytheNetworker 5y ago
Exactly, I think it's actually harmful to look at this through the lens of failure. He learned an important life lesson and now he's implementing that in day to day life.
one_eyed_zoro 5y ago
"Taking the Red Pill" seems to mean more of "learning the hard way" or internalizing it on your own if you're really lucky, but learning the hard way seems to be the true act of taking the red pill.
AquaticTurtle98 5y ago
I know what you mean. I learned from this failure but I still could have done more productive shit in those 6 months.
one_eyed_zoro 5y ago
Regret, like a low value woman, should get a hard next. Learn your lessons and focus on improving yourself from it.
USMCNIN 5y ago
You can still hit it, you just have to go no contact and act differently next time.
TonytheNetworker 5y ago
Damn, brings me back to my day of having oneitis. I never thought the girl was a unicorn or anything but I wanted her bad and I did the most pathetic shit all in an attempt to get with her. I would hold her purse while she was in the bathroom, shop around the mall, and drop her off at a "friends" house. I used to have 3, sometimes 4-hour conversations with this girl late at night about her crying over the latest Chad who pumped and dumped her ass while thinking "Yes, I'm just one step closer to finally having sex with her and being closer."
Finally, saw the writing on the wall when she called me "big brother" and when I went for a kiss after a long movie and she twisted her face and said "gross." I realized in vain that I was just some "good friend" she could "share her secrets with" and not the Chad that met her in an hour at a party and fucking her ass in the club bathroom. Focus on your mission, Life, get that SMV up, and then NEVER see women as a priority, just fun entertainment.
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LAdude71 5y ago
Dude! I can absolutely relate. I want to tell you my story, it is similar. Hope you can relate and feel better. I'll give you a tip that is helping me. Last year at work, a sexy 49 yr old blond, rocker chick would approach me and flirt, talk about sex, dress sexy. I got her number, we texted and I set up a date. First date went well and I kiss closed. Said she had to pick up her daughter from the mall. Second date went well and I kiss closed. Same thing, had to pick her daughter up after. Third date, while kiss closing I pressed my boner up against her and her reaction was good. Fourth date - she was touching me more, showed me pics of guys in shorts with protruding boners, snuck in a selfie of her in panties. Went out to her truck and said there's rocks in that she needed unloaded. She needed to "get her rocks off". Like a 'nice guy', 'respectful guy', 'pussy' I kiss closed and went home. As I was putting the key in the door it hit me hard- she wanted sex! I tried going out with her 3 more times and tried to escalate but to no avail. She gave me one more chance to do her in her white car but I pussied out AGAIN! Then I started acting AFC and desperate asking if she wanted a massage, beating around the bush asking for sex. So embarrassed I stopped contacting her. Now, I've been NC for going on 4 months. Not a peep from her. I see her type of truck (the black Ford Expedition, the one she wanted to have sex with me in) everywhere to remind me of my enormous fuck up. I don't work at the same place anymore but I am nervous about running into her somewhere because I'm embarrassed. I've been on the forums, reading books. My Bible is: THE BOOK OF POOK. You can get it on Amazon. It's a compilation of pook's posts from the So Suave forum. READ IT! AGAIN AND AGAIN! What helps me cope is that I vow to NEVER, NEVER let it happen again. I will ALWAYS, flirt, escalate, and try ti make sex happen with every date. We have to remember this truth: ALL WOMEN, ESPECIALLY THE HOT ONES, WANT HOT & DIRTY SEX AS MUCH AS US MEN. Hope this helps you. It's a daily struggle, even though I'm seeing other chicks. The blond I failed with is my unicorn.
ExcellentStudio 5y ago
Holy shit dude who cares that you "failed" with some post-post-wall single mom. The fact that you are obsessing this much over random mediocre pussy is even worse than your average "She's the love of my life" oneitis. Not trying to bring you down man, just giving you some perspective.
banthrow 5y ago
There are no light cases of oneitis.
Nttufr 5y ago
I lost 5 year's . Your lucky
krimpenrik 5y ago
lost 10 years 15 - 25 then had the best 6 months of my life with true TRP mentality and then found a cute girl, we went off 8 months ago to travel the world and just yesterday broke up to do our own things.. I am getting the hard truth down my throat that i was unbelievable beta with here in our 4 years... Just turned 30 and going to do the right thing forward now..
AquaticTurtle98 5y ago
Damn, what's your story man
AquaticTurtle98 5y ago
And hey at least you moved on
CapnPoot 5y ago
Question - did you make a move and she said that, or did she just say “best friend” in passing?
AquaticTurtle98 5y ago
Never made a move but in a conversation. It's difficult to explain, but the context made it very clear.
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Snowaey 5y ago
oneitis is the most horrible thing ive experienced
justintruetho 5y ago
You did have Oneitis but I don’t think it’s that extreme. Nonetheless you learned your lesson and hopefully will work to become the best version of yourself.
banthrow 5y ago
Oneitis is a disease, like aids. You are asking how to cure aids, well, it's quite difficult. The thing is, here you learn how to not get aids, once you got it, there is not much you can do. You are in the friend zone if you don't fuck her the second or third time you see her.
Also don't blame yourself, it's very likely that had you made a move, you would've been likely rejected. If the girl is into you, you don't have to do absolutely anything and actually she will borderline harass you.
Tek_Analyst 5y ago
OP,
my issue here is that you’re still making your goals and purpose around getting women. Wasted your time because she didn’t want to fuck you? Ok. So you’re telling me it was pure torture because you didn’t get to fuck??
You can be with women and enjoy them for who they are without sex. Same as a hanging out with a male friend.
I’m not saying you should be happy you were unable to get laid. I’m saying don’t be angry about that. That’s not all there is to life. Definitely something you can improve on though.
Once you become confident enough, you won’t even care about sex. It’ll just be something there to fill a need from time to time. Totally secondary to what brings you actual happiness.
AquaticTurtle98 5y ago
You might have misunderstood what Ive meant. I'm not pissed that I didnt get to fuck her. I genuinely LIKED being around her as friends, but I shouldve made things clear from the start. And I stayed in her orbit for too long. I even stopped working out. Shit happens, good thing I moved on.
Tek_Analyst 5y ago
I agree you didn’t do things right. Just make sure moving forward your motivations aren’t getting laid.
Take it from me. I started changing my life at one point in order to be viewed at by woman as a god. To get laid as much as I wanted, etc. It’s just a short high, and the truth is if you do shit for you and make your life better for you, regardless of a woman’s validation through sex or not. You’ll be more successful that way in general.