This morning I was sent this link. It's about 15min long, the guy breaks down very well what's wrong with this generation. It promted me to think about my own life and how I can be better about leaving the cell alone.
Body
Nothing much to add other than this guy explains very well how social media has changed this generation towards instant gratification, lack of happiness and fulfillment, lack of ability to form deep relationships with people and so on. I googled the study he mentions about Dopamine and it's effects on our brains when we interact via social media (likes, etc).
2016 was a good for me. I'ma structured person and found that I keep on track with the different areas in my life via a spreadsheet I look at once a week to decide what Im going to work on. It works very well, especially reflecting back on the books I read, things I studies, hobbies etc. I added a few things from this video to try during the rest of the month.
Summary
Social media has the same effect on our brains as gambling and alcoholism. Without consciously knowing we've become accustomed to instant gratification and lack of self awareness so most of us default to looking at our phone in restaurants when we're alone or when we're sitting in a park alone or anywhere we're alone. For the rest of the month I decided to actively work these issues, feel free to add more and try it out:
- Get an alarm clock;stop using your phone
- Leave your phone in another room at night
- Dont take your phone to meetings at work
- During lunch at work, don't look at your phone, converse or just enjoy sitting there by yourself
- At restaurants, never look at your phone; answer calls only if you're expecting one for a good reason
- Only use your phone if you're reading something useful, practicing a language etc
- At your friends/GF place, never just sit there mindlessly looking at stupid shit on your phone when you guys are bored. Read or get up and do something
There are more things but so far this is what I came up with. it's seems silly, but thinking about it the science doesn't lie.
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supremelummox 7y ago
A girl in the audience was so "you're so sexy for being so passionate about something, all I do is snapchat and facebook".
gods_bones 7y ago
WOW, I like none of those things. I like to drink and smoke sure, but whenever people ask me how I quit so easily I have always mentioned I have never had addiction issues. Now I know why.
AwakeningLion 7y ago
He talks about the effects of constant flows of dopamine and instant gratification while not talking about the elephant in the room: porn, which is the biggest drug we millennials are consuming, social media being really tiny next to it.
I guess, at least, from hearing this guy talk about social media, the audience will be able to make the link with what NoFap, YourBrainOnPorn and the likes are saying the day they stumble on those sites.
Or maybe not, their blue-pilled brain might just continue defending porn for its effects on prostate cancer while ignoring the plethora of negative side-effects on their brain, psychology and hormonal health. Whatever.
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Futon_Rasenshuriken 7y ago
As long as your phone is a good distance walk away from you, you're forced to get up and shut it off anyway.
[deleted] 7y ago
Completely agree. I saw on another recent thread someone posting about how the 16-25 year old portion of TRP were probably obsessed with social media- I'm 18 and I dislike social media, but what I hate even more is the fucking smartphone reflex people have.
The minute they aren't doing something in their comfort zone, they go straight for their smartphone. Headphones in, eyes down, I'm sure you all recognise it.
Mattonaise 7y ago
Tfw I can relate after cutting out social media; yet still sitting on the bus reading TRP on my phone
gods_bones 7y ago
Selfies are closer to social media than TRP. TRP/reddit is just reading. I'm sure we all know most people these days don't have the patience to read beyond the headline.
[deleted] 7y ago
I don't count reddit as social media. I browse it at work every day, and without it I'd be way more bored. I've learned a ton from this site over the years and you don't know the people who are giving you superficial 'likes'. So unlike social media the 'likes' are usually merit-based and justified or at least signify some agreement. They also don't affect your ego. At least they don't, mine. Reddit would be just as cool without likes and dislikes. Although the fundamental concept would of course suffer, meaning you'd need a way to make posts rise and fall. They could do away with comment liking.
Omnibrad 7y ago
Reddit is definitely social media.
If you think the upvotes and downvotes are merit-based and justified, you haven't discussed much politics on this site.
brazzersjanitor 7y ago
I agree with you I guess. But I've definitely learned a lot and done things via Reddit that have completely changed my life.
mattizie 7y ago
I'd go to /pol/ instead. no upvotes or any of that shit.
p00nbrigade 7y ago
I definitely use reddit 99% of the time for learning purposes. Everyone is living and watching history unfold. Reddit is like reading history unfolding. Sometimes you miss something you've watched and want to read about it to get more context.
That's the best way to use reddit IMO.
[deleted] 7y ago
I get your point. But I don't think people come to reddit for the likes and self esteem boost, whereas on instagram, facebook, etc. that's the driving pull.
HumanSockPuppet 7y ago
See r-gonewild.
Even discounting the subreddits that are obviously geared towards female attention-whoring, people absolutely come to reddit for validation.
You wouldn't believe the number of clown-ass niggas here in TRP who think upvotes are worth a shit.
iliketreeslikereally 7y ago
Well, on theredpill I expect to be judged harshly and by merit so upvotes feel like they do mean you're probably doing something right & that you contributed. I mean, they don't really mean shit, but they're a cue.
Unless you are debunked in the comments, of course. My favorite threads are the unpopular ones because good and shitty comments are mixed (not a lot of voting went on) and you can instantly get to know different takes on whatever is discussed without knowin the majority's opinion.
HumanSockPuppet 7y ago
Upvotes here are worthless because most guys are initiates who haven't taken the pill, or who haven't mastered the fundamentals.
The only surface valuation you can depend on are the endorsement tags. Beyond that you must read comments carefully and know the sidebar material well enough to know when something is amiss.
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HumanSockPuppet 7y ago
Of course. People can use reddit, or Facebook, or Instagram in whatever way suits their goals.
But never underestimate the number of people in the world whose goal it is to attain the approval of others.
10211799107 7y ago
Goes to my point of reading reddit once a week, and only the top posts. If hundreds/thousands of men accross the globe upvote posts and it shows up that week it means the content is good, mostly. yes you can still have shit come through if a bunch of asses upvote it, but I find it's a good way to filter good posts from the bad.
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[deleted] 7y ago
Yep, I come on here or other parts of reddit like the credit card churning, investing/stocks, or sports subreddit to learn new things and get some news.
red6onit 7y ago
It's the exact same thing expect having "friends" you may have known somewhere it's everybody. And you get that dopamine when someone upvote your opinion.
And even if you feel like you learn stuff and expand your mind you are still looking down at your phone wanking your brain in all numerous way instead of living and being creative in the actual world surrounding you.
This video talk to me much.
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10211799107 7y ago
Cognitive dissonance. We all suffer from it.
"I'm not as bad as those other guys".
We justify what we do when we're challenged about it head on.
10211799107 7y ago
Reddit is social media. If anything you should read it once a week, and only the top posts for that week. That way you know you're getting good content if it's upvoted. Reading hundreds of posts, some not that great, is just wasting your time. I don't post a lot but when I do I check for replies now and then and then go dark reading TRP once a week.
[deleted] 7y ago
I enjoy the shit out of reddit. The Donald, TRP, and lots of other based subs are just a blast. I get most of my information here. Lots of tips on hobbies. And even the cute animal gif once and I while... I admit it. I have a feeling you don't sit at a desk 9 hours a day / 5 days a week.
[deleted] 7y ago
The donald is definitely not based. Speak up about jews and see how long you're allowed to keep posting there.
Based subs are here, conspiracy, and uncensorednews although that gets shillled hard
10211799107 7y ago
I do actually. I'm in IT. I don't disagree that those subs are interesting, but reading it multiple times a day is what makes it just the same as all the other social media sites.
In my opinion, when you read a good book or practice skills you learned in a body language book for example, you don't have time to sit and mindlessly browse "interesting posts", you stay busy. You don't remember them either, it's a form of instant gratification in short term memory because "what's the next interesting thing I'm going to come across on the that cute kitten sub"; and around it goes. It's what happens to Facebook/Instagram/Snap etc. The next interesting thing...instead of creating your own interesting life.
[deleted] 7y ago
Hm. Fair enough. But I read and do other things at home on my free time. Reddit on a weekend sounds like torture to me. While I'm here, Reddit is just a time waster. It is short-term satisfaction to get through a monotonous day and make it a little less monotonous.
I'm enjoying myself while I build my bankroll. I'm not going to bury my nose in a novel at work. I work, talk, play chess online, and browse reddit. I don't see anything wrong with it.
10211799107 7y ago
Again, it was my opinion. Remember, TRP is a toolbox. If you're doing what you want and it makes you happy then that is a tool you use. That tool doesn't work for me or anyone else and it doesn't mean it's wrong.
Some here would aruge that cheating is wrong, this hobby is wrong, or that hobby is wrong. Nothing is wrong except how you view it from your frame of mind.
edit: Of course killing/raping/torture is wrong but I'm assuming the majority here gets what i'm trying to say.
vengefully_yours 7y ago
Almost the only time I read reddit is while taking a shit, or waiting for an appointment. Facebook takes a couple minutes to see if there's any technical questions I can answer for friends, and post some silly shit.
I know people who can't live without their phone giving them updates. I use a tablet for reddit and fb, it sits on my desk or shelf the rest of the time. Occasionally I'll stream music from it to a Bluetooth speaker in my shop or yard. My phone can do amazing shit, but I use it for calls while traveling and texting about parts, cars, and contact with friends.
I'm old, but I've been immersed in the internet for a long time. Gamed in my off time in the military, and after when weather or funds limited my projects. I've spent plenty of time online, but I try to make it useful in some way.
10211799107 7y ago
In my opinion, like I told another guy here, it's like the TRP Toolbox. If gaming/FB/Insta makes people truly happy and they believe it's not affecting them then there's nothing wrong with it. That tool doesn't work for some. I would go so far as to say some people need a sort of objective test, to see how much they use their phone and social media. As humans we all suffer from confirmation bias and we always think what we're doing is not "as bad as the other guy" so we justify it.
If you have a purpose for it then by all means do it. Like everything, in moderation. But then gain, how do we judge what moderation is? That can be debated into oblivion. I'm giving this a shot. I'm off FB and social media and alreay browse reddit once a week for top posts, except today when I made this post to check for questions/replies that warrant a reply. After that I'm dark again.
vengefully_yours 7y ago
I wasted lots of time gaming, that's mainly what it is. Even if my objective is to spend the time distracted from the world of shit around me, it's still a waste, nothing beneficial comes from it. I used it as both an escape and therapy, writing new memories and putting my hypervigilance to use in something that doesn't wear me down in public.
Could have done other things, like lifting more, doing work related things, maybe learning more Russian to fuck the girls that were in Korea without paying them. I barely game now, only when I'm trying to save money for some big purchase since I'm building my residence.
It can be a fun waste of time, and the time is spent with friends gaming had been memorable, but it definitely can take over your life.
LordOfThePiss 7y ago
Tfw very recognisable for me.. I think it's time for me to stop wasting so much time on social media. I saw the interview before but this thread reminded me of it again. Gonna start with turning notifications off.
_Trigglypuff_ 7y ago
Avoiding 30 seconds of awkward smalltalk, anything, phone comes out, brain goes off.
theONE843663 7y ago
Smartphone reflex sounds like a legit scientific thing lol. Back in the days, people used to just look up at the sky instead lol.
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10211799107 7y ago
That's a good approach. I think if you don't keep up with it you'll get sucked into quick. Moderation is key of course, and keeping tabs o how much time you spend on it. For me, if I want to get lost in something I read my Ancient History book. Shit is great. Back then life was hard as fuck. Not this pansy life we complain about now.
_the_shape_ 7y ago
Here in NYC, at any given time, at least 35% or so of those riding the subway are 'plugged in' in some way (i.e. either browsing their phone or dialed into something to listen to via headphones. Bouncing through Facebook, relentless texting, playing some stupid, mindless game like Candycrush etc. It's far more rare to see someone doing something borderline archaic, like reading a book, drawing, or simply ...sitting still.
[deleted] 7y ago
listening to good classics while in the transport makes me enjoy my time instead of being bored to death. Studies link time spent in transport to depression; if you're alright staying still and can listen to "stand clear of the closing doors" 5 times in a row at peak hour or "we are sorry for the train traffic ahead of us" while everybody is packed right into your face, you've got some remarkable patience
badchad_isglad 7y ago
Whenever women pull out their phones on dates I do a loud "cough cough". It always has one of two reactions: she laughs and puts her phone away or she acts affronted and puts her phone away. I've never had a girl pull her phone out after doing that.
Note: Not sure this would work on women 30+ as they have not had the social conditioning of coughing from school, but why would you bother with them anyways.
40_SixandTwo 7y ago
The happiest time in my short life so far was the two years that I didn't have Facebook or any other types of social media.
turbocart 7y ago
Wittnessed a brilliant classmate get ruined because of 9gag..
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[deleted] 7y ago
This is obviously on top of porn and video games. Bombard someone with these three things for several years and you've got a typical millennial.
10211799107 7y ago
About 2yrs ago I got an XBox to see what the hype was about. 28yr old guy trying out gaming. I spent a week play Assassin's Creed. It was fun but boring as shit. I sold the Xbox later on. I don't understand how someone can do that.
Drenmar 7y ago
It's basically a fake sense of accomplishment that makes gaming so popular. That's why games like Assassin's Creed have so many menial tasks you can tick and feel good about. The epitome of this game design are all the popular mobile games which are essentially Skinner boxes with extremely shallow to non-existent gameplay mechanics.
[deleted] 7y ago
Should have got a PC lol.
Whenever I see people bashing gaming, they are almost invariably referring to their own experience with shitty popular console games like Call of Duty, Halo, Assassin's Creed, GTA, Madden, etc. Or else, they imagine cartoony equally brain-dead Nintendo games like Zelda or Pokemon.
"Stop reading books mannnn. I picked up a copy of Esquire once, and I realized how boring and unfulfilling books are."
There is a difference between relatively mindless action games and strategy games like CKII or even a good rpg.
If you play intellectually-stimulating games in moderation, you don't have a gaming problem. If you play mindless games not in moderation, then you have a problem.
10211799107 7y ago
You have a good different point of view. Like i said, I didn't like it. Now maybe yes the game was shit, but I didn't like sitting on my ass 4hrs at a time playing a game. Literally felt like I was wasting my life. What games are you referring to when you say more intellectually stimulating games? I dont want to play, just out of curiosity.
[deleted] 7y ago
Like I mentioned, certain strategy games are very intellectually stimulating. For example, the Paradox Plaza games (EUIV, CKII, VICII, HoI, etc.) are very complicated and contain a lot of historical and geographic information in them. City simulators like Sim City, Banished and City Skylines have similar value. These games require contingency planning, design creativity, abstraction, and memorization.
You are what you game... GTA is literally about being a car-stealing degenerate. It's no surprise that those types of games are almost purely passive consumption and thus do not add much value beyond an entertaining distraction.
Game types that can be more than passive consumption (and examples off the top of my head):
4x Grand strategy games (CKII, Stellaris, Civilization)
Physics simulation games (Kerbal Space Program, Besiege)
Economic simulation games (Euro-truck simulator, farm simulator, City Skylines, Dwarf Fortress)
Games with philosophic content (Deus X, Mass effect, Metal Gear)
Certain realistic/historical FPS/Action rpg's (ARMA, Mount and Blade)
My point is simply that there are different levels of quality in gaming. If you are learning more about Roman era history from a video game, than you ever retained from high-school or college, then maybe that game is actually adding value to your life.
10211799107 7y ago
It's a good point you have. I'm a huge philosophy fan so maybe i will enjoy that type of game.
The Physics simulation game, is that literally a Physics game? Ones I enjoy are stuff where you figure out tunnels, puzzles, sudoku etc but i supposed they're all apps andnot actual big games on consoles etc.
[deleted] 7y ago
The example I gave is Kerbal Space program (I have yet to play it). Here is a guy playing it.
There are plenty of good puzzle games out there. Personally, I am not a big puzzle game guy, but one good one that combines puzzle and physics, is the very popular Portal series.
I didn't mean to jump on you, just wanted to counter the idea which is prevalent here that gaming is a purely degenerative activity.
10211799107 7y ago
I've played portal before its a pretty good game too.
The post was meant to include the majority of people who game, not the minority who use it in moderation, I think you understood that. When people nit pick a post and say "yeah but this is not true and that is not true" then it's an example of people trying to make the exception the rule. You gave a different perspective which I agree with and acknowledge, but the post is about the majority who abuse it into oblivion. There was a recent post about this that explains it well.
RedPillFreedom 7y ago
TRP always says no to steer the newbie in the right direction.
He doesn't know what right is. We say everything you believed was wrong. Now just focus on these few things. From there, add your own spin on it.
Example: Texting is only logistics. But, after you understand how the game works add nuance. You would be stupid not too.
Gaming especially if someone was a WOW addict and fat ass. We want them to quit and start working out look physically fit be strong. When they go back to gaming it can trigger the same neural pathways of when they were a fat ass. So moderation is not possible. Then when you do not have that one had that grounds you that all your other habits rely upon everything crashes and burns into the ground.
Unfortunately only after speaking with a TRP member or going through their posts can you tell at what level they are. There are tiers. So, saying be yourself to GayLubeOil to get bitches will work a lot better than some cuck that find his girlfriend fucking Chad on his anniversary.
It's all a matter of tailoring your words to your audience.
Edit: for the wow fat ass. You can rewire your brain. But, I do not recommend playing wow get a better game. Fucks sake, just get into chess. Become the next Bobby Fisher.
[deleted] 7y ago
I used to game a lot in HS and younger... it's no where near as fun anymore so I get what you mean. I stopped in college but once I graduated I built a nice computer to give it a shot again. I really like games that require team communication and strategy. I also think Assassins Creed is a boring game, never liked em.
RedPillFreedom 7y ago
I see you're a fan of rainbow six siege
[deleted] 7y ago
I'll have to try it... I've been playing Squad.
[deleted] 7y ago
Think of your head as a landfill. Landfills are gigantically massive and utterly worthless. There might be one diamond in a landfill that is worth more than the entire pile of shit that covers it.
People are going to fill their minds with shit because there is more of it and its easier not to resist it. Just don't inflate your mind with shit! Limitation through discipline. Only put the nicest diamonds in your head. Don't even put shitty cut diamonds up there. Reject all false or useless information.
GeorgeBushIV 7y ago
nothing bugs me more when i get food with a friend and hes over there aimlessly looking at snapchats and ig.
crash1082 7y ago
I used to look at my phone right when I woke up everyday. Now that I don't I can tell my day starts off much better.
LippyMinded 7y ago
Turn off alerts (except for important ones like task reminders, emails). My phone does not vibrate or alert when I receive any messages. This way I only periodically check my phone, and often forget about it when I'm involved in an activity. I'm now going to try using a digital alarm clock, and keeping my phone away from my bedroom.
p_121 7y ago
As a millennial, I usually dismiss people that try to generalize us, but I actually agree with a lot of things this guy says and have found myself fallen victim to some of the things he talks about in this video. Thank you for posting this.
EscortSportage 7y ago
Simon Sinek is his name, and he has some really good stuff!
[deleted] 7y ago
Do you think reading and posting in here is a male version of women on Facebook? Insee the similarities, we all check to see if our comments are liked for validation and dopamine. The only difference I can see is that we are learning some important life skills here where as Facebook seem to me to be a time sponge. But maybe women use it to create and reinforce social circles and increase their eligibility? I do not have any solid answers but I have thought about this topic a lot myself.
10211799107 7y ago
I agree with you on that yes. Again, in my view it depends how you use it. Like I said above, I posted this and check back now and then to respond to some people. Normally, I go dark and read once a week the top posts for that week. I believe it gives me a way to filter the good from the bad posts and don't get sucked into what you mentioned, the "did i get an upvote" mentality.
[deleted] 7y ago
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redbluepilling 7y ago
Or, the most successful corporations will tap into it and build up loyal employees. He's saying millenials would give up high salaries for the intangibles like self-satisfaction and encouragement in their work--spikes of validation.
Tell me, how many good women that work hard to please you would stick around if you didn't give them any validation or encourage/shape their behavior? He's even saying millenials respond more to that than money.... fucking brilliant. Pay them less at the start and shape loyal / motivated employees. Positive growth for both.
Sounds like the CEO of Bottom Line Inc. should stop being a whiny bitch and deal with reality of the current labor market. Blaming everyone else (all the millenials), saying this whole mass of people is wrong and must change, is a great way to fucking lose.
VasiliyZaitzev 7y ago
The problem that a lot of Millennials have is "YOLO" - You Only Live Online.
Put the phones down and go outside and get some sun.
Also, think about things from the "other person's" perspective. To wit, I recently counseled a younger guy who complained that he was being excluded from projects by his boss - Me: "Have you approached your boss and asked if you can help on those projects?" Him: mouth agape. It's ok to take a certain amount of initiative.
10211799107 7y ago
I'm one the more seniors at my job currently and experience this as well. New guys want work and my first question is always: "Have you asked the project lead or senior engineer if you can help, even if it's grunt work?". Then a head shake.
tigerjaws 7y ago
great post, just didn't agree with what he said about it being the 'corporations responsibility now' fuck that, your employer isn't your parent
redbluepilling 7y ago
Well, it's the responsibility of a corporation that wants to be smart. Knowing the values of this labor force generation, they can connect the mentality of 'wanting to make an impact / contribute' to the company's goals/mission. That's not hard. Validate them and reward you employees well, and loyalty is built. (Similarly, if you give women just enough validation and appreciation for the good things they do, they stick around and continue to please).
But, most companies are short-term, profit driven, trying to get the cheapest employees that are just good enough or nepotistic, creating a shit work environment.
Companies that don't change their culture and adapt to a more positive work environment / focus on growth of not only the company but also each employee, will continue to have high turnover and inevitably fail.
situ139 7y ago
Agreed, I don't even bring my phone when I'm out anymore. Just leave it in the car.
Uncomfortable at first, but after you start to really enjoy the moment. I can spend hours just walking, no headphones, taking in the outside world. Same with hikes, no phone or music. You become incredibly observant. I wish I could cut the damn thing out completely, but I still need it occasionally and I love iMessage. Lets me communicate with people I otherwise couldn't.
kez88 7y ago
He has a lot of other great youtube videos to watch about leadership, managing people, inspiring others and so on. I've read his book 'Start with Why' and it was really good. Not necessarily read pill, but for anyone looking at ways to better manage and lead people, definitely worth a read.
10211799107 7y ago
I put his name on my reading list. Sounds like legit stuff to get into for career development etc too.
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kanyewost 7y ago
Lol I remember when having a phone at a table would be rude.. in 2010 ffs lmao
Driving on the street you see women making selfies in the street, it looks so retarded objectively , for fucks sake you know what you look like how many pics do you need
Whiteout- 7y ago
I'm a millenial (18 Y.O.) and I'm in college right now. The "Phone Reflex" that others talk about is spot on. It's kinda scary to be honest. If there's a lull in conversation or someone becomes uncomfortable, it's easy for people to just bury their face in twitter. It's comforting and at times I have the urge to go for my phone when I'm talking to someone and find myself bored.
There's been a few times when I've tried to go out without bringing my phone, even just to dinner with friends. When I tell a friend that I don't have my phone on me, they just can't understand why I would willingly leave it at home. Then when the phones come out and nobody's talking, leaving me the odd one out, it's really tough to reignite a conversation and drag everyone away from the soft dopamine spikes of social media poop.
This kinda turned into a bit of a rant, but once I realized that phones were replacing regular interaction and made an effort to not use it so much, it really became obvious to me how much time we spend on it.
10211799107 7y ago
Take your better male friend of your gruop and see if you can convince him of joining you in this feat. if not, well, find more friends.
Alth12 7y ago
http://johnfisher.tv/portfolio/oices-nationwide-sugarj-poet-on-face-to-face-nationwide-building-society
It's an advertisement, but the sentiment it conveys pretty much sums my views on this up.
Amazing how much socializing I did and connections I made when I travelled and had no 4g or WiFi.
htbf 7y ago
What's an advertisement ? wtf is that website ?
Wadsworth21 7y ago
I was thinking about how we are building a false sense of confidence because we can write the perfect things to say in text interactions and on social media which can't be helping us interact better in person because we aren't doing nearly as much of it anymore. Just a thought I had that's a little different than the obvious instant gratification part of social media and your phone in general
redbluepilling 7y ago
The flipside of this too is that people think writing the perfect thing is obtainable, yet are crippled with inaction and worry trying to make it so.
Wadsworth21 7y ago
True, I also think the more we interact through a device and write to each other and strangers on the internet it diminishes your interpersonal communication skills over time. Instead of being in Social settings, some being comfortable and some uncomfortable, and having to be clever and funny on the fly and have a quick wit you can sit on the computer and think for hours of the perfect retort or perfect political paragraph. And I agree it never will be as perfect as you'd like which will also mess you up I feel because you have all this time and the Internet and it still isn't perfect? Pathetic. But yeah I was just thinking about that the other day and it tripped me out.
redbluepilling 7y ago
It doesn't diminish mine. Right now, I wouldn't be talking to anyone anyway. Rather, now this technology allows me more communication. Going about my day, I have the choice to talk to people, stay silent, or look at my phone. Choice. But people aren't being encouraged to have more public conversations and gain experiences, so society will swing toward less social one-on-one for now. To which I say...who cares? Weakness can be exploited, and those that are clever and quick will stand out and succeed.
[deleted] 7y ago
The only thing I disagree with in this video was his fourth point in which he exacerbated the problem by taking any blame off millennial's by blaming the parents and corporations by saying it's not the millennial's fault. Wrong, it's entirely their fault, they have simply refused to see the reality of the world. you can give people only so much before they stand on their own. The old phrase rings true, you can bring a horse to water but you can't make them drink.
tempjewman 7y ago
I feel that without a positive role model to learn from imitate, people will follow what everyone else is doing (80/20 rule). Isn't that a major reason most people are on these threads?
[deleted] 7y ago
I think it's probably a bit of both. Blame doesn't have to be one sided.
[deleted] 7y ago
Agreed, and that is my problem with point 4 in the video, he absolves the millennial's of any guilt. Obviously there is some to blame with the parents, however corporations are not to blame. The Millennial generation are so entitled that is why they are trying to force corporate wages and benefits. They tend to forget that people don't open businesses to give jobs, they open to make money, and the Millennial's fail to realize that they are an expenditure until they help the business be profitable.
AcrossHallowedGround 7y ago
Blame is a waste of time. The responsibility for fixing it is completely on the millennials because corporations are going to continue doing what makes money. No one is going to change their ways to make you better except you.
[deleted] 7y ago
Assigning blame to a party that is unwilling to change is a waste of time sure. Identifying the sources of conflict when you're trying to analyze a problem is not. I think when enough millennials stop playing into the system, it would have no choice but to alter strategy. That presents a new problem though. Getting people to collectively see the problem and care about fixing it.
StudntRdyTeachrApear 7y ago
I get the sentiment, but this type of logic applies to every modern advancement in technology since the industrial, or even agricultural revolution. Indeed, you must draw a line somewhere. It boils down to the all-encompassing concept of balance. Balance your activities, whether they be immediately gratifying and self-indulgent, or hard work for future goals, the balance of all things is the reductionist perspective that needs amplifying. Shit is only going to get weirder and weirder as TRP posts regarding cybernetics start popping up...whether it be 20, 50, or 200 years in the future, integrate change that is positive, conserve methods that deserve it.
redbluepilling 7y ago
Yes, it seems that peoples' take away is that the phone is the real problem. No, it's just the obvious symbol where the root issues manifest -- some are intrinsically human, some are societal.
JFMX1996 7y ago
Yup. 20 year old guy here. Got rid of all social media except YouTube in January of 2016. Started using Reddit around August or so for self-improvement purposes.
Social media is basically a crutch people have now for their lack of communication and social skills. You'll see some high school girls start choking up if you approach them as I did in high school, only to have them message you later saying they thought you were cute.
I now stick out like a sore thumb when I'm walking around college, making eye contact with others, giving smiles and having my hands free and not in my pocket, confidently reading the room. I've become more observant because of it, and I've noticed everyone just pulls out their phones as they walk by groups because they feel uncomfortable. It's sort of funny, I remember once reading from a doctor or psychologist that they've become the adults comfort object, the item you'd give a child to feel comfortable, like a teddy bear or blanket.
I've managed to be even more social since I got rid of that shit. It's cool connecting with others through real communication. A girl that can't do that shit is one I want nothing to do with.
They also get their self worth from staying on their phones and watching their likes and comments on social media posts come in. If they don't get into the hundreds on their like count on Instagram, they feel like shit. They associate their worth with it. They'll also resort to posting more and more attention seeking things to get that need validated. Either that, or they'll sit and browse the same feed over and over again, like all the people around them.
I'm very attentive in class, remember taking a psychology class this recent semester and sitting and observing my classmates all sort of mindlessly flicking through their feeds, clueless to the world around them. I'd just sit and reflect, or read a book, etc. Smile at girls walking in and they'd sit next to me. People have remarked about how weird it is that I never pull out my phone or look at me funny when I tell them I don't have an Instagram, Tumblr, Snapchat, Facebook, etc.
You stick out quite a bit that way. I'm glad. I don't follow the weird trends and random shit. As an observer, I now see how weird it is watching people zombie their way through the world glued to their smart phones and always having to update on what they're doing to feel interesting (after they portray their day in an idealized manner) and view their friends with enmity or keep up with some celebrity they either love or hate and play dumb little apps non-stop instead of being productive.
Since I got rid of that I've learned to play guitar, read a bunch of books, am learning the cyrillic alphabet to start learning Russian, and so on. I'm glad I tossed that dumb habit.
vagbutters 7y ago
I've kicked the habit of looking at my phone frequently now that I'm finishing up med school. When you have a million and one distractions around you to stop you from doing your work, you need to develop an iron discipline to zone that shit out.
The only times I look at my phone on weekdays are to check for important e-mails, messages, answer phonecalls, or to listen to music or fuck around in between sets in the gym.
This one is important; I've actually made two new good friends just following this one at school.
10211799107 7y ago
Try not looking at your phone in the gym. Sit on a bench where you're not taking up space and close your eyes focussing on breathing. Sort of an intra-set meditation.
vagbutters 7y ago
I do that when I run, not when I lift. Listening to my breathing while running helps me to set the pace and can sometimes be meditative. Never really cared for it in between sets.
empatheticapathetic 7y ago
I tend to psyche myself out if I try to meditate or whatever between sets. A distraction is better for me whether it's good or not.
silentlyfurious 7y ago
I get this every now and then. When I feel this way I think back to one of my previous meditation sessions where I realised the difference between the body and the awareness watching it. I then refocus back on the awareness of the breath rather than the breathing itself.
Hope this helps :)
bigcitytruth 7y ago
The only thing I look at on my phone at the gym is the set timer (I am really picky about doing sets at exact rest intervals). I never text or fiddle around on social media at the gym; I have no idea why guys do that, especially if they want hypertrophy gains.
Duchenne4089 7y ago
I use a normal watch for that.
10211799107 7y ago
Out of curiosity, with all the variables involved with muscle synthesis, macro's, calories etc, does timing between sets really have scientific evidence?
bigcitytruth 7y ago
Look up "hypertrophy time under tension" (without quotes). Shorter rest intervals helps with time under tension, which is what you want when lifting just for size (aesthetics).
By not allowing your muscles to fully recover between sets, your muscle cells accumulates waste byproducts such as lactic acid which triggers growth of muscle cells.
Ideally, you would not rest at all, but then you'd get too tired to lift anything. So decades' worth of knowledge from competitive gym-heads have found that waiting 30-60 seconds is a pretty good balance; it's just barely long enough to recover a decent amount of strength, but still short enough that you're still experiencing effects from the previous set (lactic acid buildup, muscle fatique, etc). Try for 30 seconds, if you can stand it. 60 is okay too. But 2 minutes is too long. Actual university studies of the effect of time under tension have mixed results based on how long the subjects have been training. But they more often than not point to some truth behind the principle of time under tension.
And to keep that time under tension, you lift really slow. Like each rep takes 10 seconds (five-mississipi up, five-mississippi down). It feels like an eternity sometimes. I find that 12 reps is good. Then you have a quick rest, just 30 seconds. Do this for 3 sets. On the 3rd set, you should fail between 8-12 reps. If you fail under 8 reps on the last set, do it 5 lbs lighter next time. If the last set hits 12, do it 5 lbs heavier next time. Of course, all of these slow reps and quick rests mean a LOT of time under tension which will wreck you, so you have to use lighter weights (about 60-70% of your 1-rep-max). But it works.
Now serious bodybuilders take this "time under tension" principle to the extreme. I remember seeing an old interview with Scharzenegger once, where he talked about "pyramiding." He would not even count reps. He would lift until he failed, then take off a bit of weight (takes about 20 seconds each time to get the new weights, a.k.a. the "short rest"), then lift again until he failed, then take off a bit more, then repeat until he got down to no weight left. The problem is that Arnold's method requires hours and hours at the gym.
10211799107 7y ago
I can see how this can be dangerous if a person like me who solely lifts using the big compounds only. I curl for the girls sometimes and to keep my arms from not getting too skinny in relation to my back/legs etc. Using it for squats is probably a bad idea if you want to keep form in check like us strength nazis do. For curls/tri's and isolation work this sounds like a good thing to try.
I'm assuming you do lots of cable/machines an isolation work?
bigcitytruth 7y ago
You're right; on a squat, lifting super-slow and heavy is dangerous. But that's why you have to lift lighter if you're going slow for lots of reps. The weight should be easy to handle for 12 slow reps. The "burn" comes from the ultra-slow speed, not the weight. The weight # actually doesn't matter that much. You do it ultra-slow until you fail at the third set, whatever that weight is. Doing a proper hypertrophy routine is not good for bragging rights at the gym, however it makes muscles grow. My gym has adjustable safety bars on their power racks, I align them up to just a hair below the lowest point I can squat to. When I fail a rep, it's pretty simple to wriggle out from under the barbell. Some other gyms have shitty non-adjustable safety bars, or none at all. I say shop around for a different gym if that's the case.
The only thing I never use hypertrophy methods for is deadlifts. Most everything else, including compounds, can be done either way, even squats. I actually do the standard compounds (squat, press, bench, dips, chins, pullups, etc), mostly free weights/bodyweight. The only cable I do is the row, but that's so I can really make sure my form doesn't falter, as I found myself subconsciously cheat-swinging every time I did freeweight rows. I isolate only a few things, such as flys, curls and calf raises. I don't do hypertrophy all the time, I switch it up a couple times a year. I'll do strength a couple months, then hypertrophy. I sync it up with cutting and bulking, respectively.
Still, everyone has their own method. My method is different from my gym buddy's method. And different from yours. But it's a pretty universally agreed upon principle that heavy = strong, volume = big, and that we're all doing either one or the other.
Here's a pretty good article that says what I've been saying, but a lot better. It's about doing a compound lift like a squat for hypertrophy: http://www.t-nation.com/training/bodybuilding-vs-powerlifting-squat
Be careful with that website, it's a time-sucking black hole! Once you start reading a few articles, you realize you've read a couple dozen of them, and a few hours have passed!
10211799107 7y ago
Good info I'll check it out. Being tall I made sure my legs are in proportion with my back but I forgot about my arms. They're 16in but they look smaller in the mirror, probably bigorexia but oh well. I'll give this time under tension a shot on my arms after my big lifts.
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lolligagger3000 7y ago
The best decision I made in my life was to stop taking my phone to the gym. I used it as a distraction, then just as a cronometer but it was still tempting to check a message or fuck around. Buy a sports watch and don't use your phone of better yet, don't even take it
[deleted] 7y ago
you can also set up plane mode; using your Spotify playlists offline. I have my program on Google sheets (saved offline too); can't really train exactly how I want to if I don't have my phone.
bigcitytruth 7y ago
But then you won't be able to hear the bumpin soundtrack on the gym's loudspeakers, with hits such as "What Is Love/Baby Don't Hurt Me No More".
10211799107 7y ago
I must be old school. I do the big compounds and fahves. I continue when I feel properly rested, have a paper log book and go about my sets.
[deleted] 7y ago
yeah well that's the old school way. Works for sure; I guess the main thing when carrying a phone around is to be on plane mode. I workout in the morning so I don't really have time to fuck around anyway, not even talking to other regulars. The only times I did share my routine the guys either 1) spent way too much time on their phone and I wanted to smash it against a wall, especially when they showed me the girls' reactions to their selfies 2) talk endlessly between sets which makes me loose my groove
bigcitytruth 7y ago
My gym has no reception in the freeweight room anyway, so it's automatically "airplane mode"! It's great because it keeps the other guys from playing with their phones and hogging machines or racks.
thismaytakeawhile 7y ago
I've decided to mentally replace the word Millennial with Capricorn. If we're going to make sweeping generalizations about 1.7 billion people based on their date of birth, we don't need to come up with fancy new name for it, just stick with the classics.
blob6 7y ago
I think what you're saying is that the word millennial is a blanket statement that doesn't apply to everyone in the age bracket - I agree with that, but I don't think it's accurate. Millennials are those people born into a world and who were the first generation first defined by the explosion of the Internet. People born at the same time but with the same access to the Internet are not Millennials. In that way, the term millennial is a cultural signifier, not merely a chronically defined timestamp
RedditAdminsSuck_88 7y ago
I hate seeing phone zombies everywhere I go.
I walk to work 1.5 miles each way every day. Everyone I see has their face buried in their phone. I don't even take mine out. Not even to listen to music. I just learn to be content with myself as I walk.
I went skiing a couple weeks ago. I saw way too many people standing in the middle of the damn slopes, with their glove off, looking at their phone. Unless you are trying to record yourself skiing, why even bother. Since it was mainly women I saw doing this I am guessing they just had to check their Zionstagram in the middle of a run, providing a hazard for others.
Teach yourself how to be phone independent. I carry one basically for emergencies and to take pictures, and perhaps check sports scores if I am out. I have zero social media.
[deleted] 7y ago
gosh I haven't been snowboarding for years now, I don't think social media were too huge at the time. I thought I was missing it but the way you're describing it, I think my short temper would behave really badly
alabrasa301 7y ago
I'm just gonna post something that one of my friends wrote on Facebook. Gives a different opinion on the whole issue.
"This video has been going around so let me get some things straight:
TL;DR - This is a well dressed pile of bs.
1) There is no evidence that millennials are less productive, happy, or satisfied with their professional life, and if it's true, it's probably more related to a development in existential thinking about the purpose of work since a smaller percentage of the workforce belongs to life sustaining production. Also Suicide and "unhappiness" are not necessarily related.
2) the dopamine pathway is one of the fundamental drivers of our pleasure and motivation. Literally everything from eating to taking a nice poop involves dopamine, so suggesting that social media is bad because it feels good is a huge and useless leap.
3) there's nothing that suggests that people are more or less beholden to social cues and pressure, it's just that this takes place online more. Sure we don't know the implications but I'm tired of this doomsday bullshit.
4) Zero connection between the premise of how millennials function in the workplace and social media.
The guy made some important (mostly obvious) points about how too much of anything is harmful. There is a great deal of importance to face-to-face interaction. But on the other side, plenty of friendships that would otherwise disintegrate exist only because of the internet. Technology is changing how we interact for better and for worse, but let's chill with the "our brains our melting" shit and the smug white guys that get paid to muse about an untested age group that just dipped into adulthood."
Edit: grammar
redbluepilling 7y ago
Exactly. I don't understand the hype of all this -- at least, in this sub. (I do get why your average facebookers have passed it around as so insightful though). It's largely been boomers and millennials passing this around, saying phones are the problem and today's youth aren't conforming nicely to the old system. Same shit, different generation. Phones are merely the visible symbol.
When a couple is out at dinner, both on their phones, people lament how the phone has done this and how humanity doesn't communicate anymore. No dipshit, this is a bad relationship and 30 years ago they'd be sitting in silence, looking around, bored and unhappy, checking out the attractive waiter or waitress, thinking how they aren't good enough to have that.
10211799107 7y ago
You have a good alternative perspective on this.
JonWalkerr 7y ago
Everyone finds something wrong with every generation. It's not that serious. If it wasn't this, it'd be something else.
Mariostern1 7y ago
I've watched this a few weeks ago. This guy is not entirely wrong for solid 10 minutes, i feel like, but then when he established that boomers raised their children by cuddling them into adulthood, but then said that it's the fault of the companies for not adapting to the weak minded people. Kinda messed himself up, I think.
Jellybird18 7y ago
He didn't say it's the organizations fault, he said its their responsibility. If they want good workers after the boomers retire they need to do something to give millenials job satisfaction which is the most important thing in regards to a working attitude . When people want to work for your company, for more than just money, they will strive to impress and improve.
Millenials want to have an impact, and want instant gratification. It is the responsibility of the employer to say " you're doing well, we are noticing, but these things take time" the employer needs to show these people how the real world works
bigcitytruth 7y ago
If you read between the lines, he was basically telling CEOs to install a bunch of foosball tables, beer kegs and video games in the office, give out free lunches, and regularly dole out a bunch of inflated-title promotions without extra pay. This is so millennials will feel "appreciated," and loyally work there for lower pay without quitting.
10211799107 7y ago
spot on. our company catered to the little ones like that. i hear the pong table all the time and get pissed. playing at fucking work with free coffee/tea. blows my mind.
wiseclockcounter 7y ago
Yea I got that same feeling. When he said a certain line, you can almost hear the hamsters spinning on their wheels... "Hey, he's right. It's NOT my fault! My unhappiness is everyone else's problem!"
Generally, he's right about the whole addiction angle. And hey, maybe expecting a bunch of kids to handle such an addicting medium as they enter adulthood isn't very realistic. But personal responsibility is an individual burden by definition. The guy's message is worth spreading, but people will always cling to convenient excuses to avoid change.
10211799107 7y ago
To play devil's advocate. Wouldn't you say there is some truth in the fact that if you're raised a certain way, and you never get exposed to the real world (until your first job), that you don't any better? Does a kid in Africa drinking river water know any different that his peer in the states is palying with his tablet already at age 5 etc?
They have a responsibility of course, but they realise it very late in life, that's probably part of the problem.
wiseclockcounter 7y ago
yea, no doubt there is a good deal of truth in that. I agree with the speakers point generally that there has been a confluence of circumstances that disadvantaged millennials. However, I still think there's a universal human tendency to shift blame to protect one's self image. No one likes to admit they were dumb enough to fall off the cliff with the rest of the lemmings.
10211799107 7y ago
I believe it's also in Dale book How to Win Friends and Influence People that one of the "rules" of effective communication is to let people save face. Our self-image is the most important thing to us, even if we don't consciously think about it.
2555555555 7y ago
Now while I know Mark Manson isn't particularly popular on this sub, I want to quote something from his book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" that pertains to the millenial mindset that everyone needs to make an 'impact' that the video touches on.
"It has become an accepted part of our culture today to believe that we are all destined to do something truly extraordinary. Celebrities say it. Business tycoons say it. ... We all deserve greatness. The fact that this statement is inherently contradictory--after all, if everyone were extraordinary, then by definition no one would be extraordinary--is missed by most people. And instead of questioning what we actually deserve or don't deserve, we eat the message up and ask for more.
Being average has become the new standard of failure".
Anyways I thought this quote definitely pertained to the video. I'm not saying anyone should strive for mediocrity, but a successful or fulfilling career doesn't mean being a movie star or influencing millions of people. It can be rewarding yet small, like starting your own business.
redbluepilling 7y ago
Mark Manson was popular with his book Models. He refrained from going too RP in his language and appealed to a wider audience. Good for him -- lots of money for him and lots of people that may be helped / start down a better path.
That's not necessarily a bad thing. But, people have not been taught to question themselves, take risks for the experience, and develop self-awareness as to when/where/how they find fulfillment and satisfaction.
And not everyone is built for this. Many would be happy and healthy as number twos, threes, or ever further down, as long as they are respected, appreciated for hard work, and make enough to support their level of comfort in life.
10211799107 7y ago
Me personally, I don't want to start a business purely becuase of the fact that I have too many hobbies now and I travel quite a bit for really cheap. I save a lot of money, max out all retirement accounts and save more. I want to be financially independent in 10 or 15 yrs. Not retire in 35yrs.
2555555555 7y ago
I was saying that he isn't particularly popular on this sub and sometimes criticized for being popular to a wider audience, hence my hesitation mentioning him. I enjoy his writing, and find his books to be very honest and well-written. However, I have seen people argue he is too beta to be mentioned on here.
When he talks about the particular point about average being failure, he talks about kids these days growing up in a world where they see the best of the best all across social media, TV, etc., yet they aren't shown the immense amount of time, effort, and persistence it takes to get to that point. I think people feel they need success to be relevant, yet they don't feel they need to put in all the effort. People aren't taught how to live a rewarding life and have that self-awareness, as you said.
As for my example, that was simply an example. Obviously success is categorized in different ways for everyone. Many men work hard in office jobs and feel satisfied in their lives, while others think that it's unfulfilling.
Thanks for the response.
[deleted] 7y ago
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redpillren 7y ago
Had to google operant. Only one p. But you are correct otherwise.
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[deleted] 7y ago
I agree with the redpill about on social media but if you're a musician or just a general businessman, and you don't use one single form of social media, how the fuck you going to successfully market yourself/your product?
10211799107 7y ago
Business purposes are different though. This post was not meant to address that part of social media.
iamzeuss 7y ago
This whole fucking planet needs to hit bottom.
Luckyluke23 7y ago
yeah this video has been making the rounds like it's a meme or something.
it's really good. they guy in the video is Simon Sinek. check him out
Boxheadno1 7y ago
Great insights from a great speaker. The only thing I don't agree with is the statement that it's the responsibility of the corporations to make millenials self-confident, joyful and fulfilled. That would put them into the position of victims, who they aren't.
Everyone has the choice to not use their smartphone and begin to enjoy the mundane, seemingly boring things in life. Social media isn't forced onto people.
Hax_Meowingtons 7y ago
Agree, I only use it to read a book, practicing my German and Japanese, or check my email. I don't even use my phone to listen to music. I use my iPod classic for the gym or driving to my destination.
GroundhogLiberator 7y ago
You would've been so set if we lost WW2.
10211799107 7y ago
I use it for Duolingo too. I use it for music, mostly blues while I'm cooking the week's meals or shower.
Eyeswears 7y ago
Here's one I did today: instead of texting someone an interesting thought you have, wait until you talk to them in person or on the phone to bring it up. In person > phone > text. Communicating the way we evolved to communicate is the only real way to be happy. And if you suck at it, you're gonna be unhappy.
I'm still one of those people with the smart phone reflex, though. At least when I whip it out, it's to text my close friend of 10+ years, but I do this instead of just talking to the person right next to me. There's a reason so many people have this reflex: it is absolutely painful and uncomfortable to admit to the world you are unoccupied and have to put your neck on the line with the people next to you who could turn out to be complete assholes or emotionally dependent zombies.
The smart phone is a comfort drug. You know you'll have something pleasant to do if you take it out, but if you don't, and face the world, you're gonna face your insecurities face first and possibly be rejected. It sucks, but I know something a lot better than mild diversions is on the other side of fear.
MrBellsprout123 7y ago
Great video.
As someone who grew up in a home that couldn't form meaningful relationships with my family, I completely understand when he talks about alcoholic. Except for me it wasn't alcoholism, it was video games. I was addicted to them, it was a way to deal with stress because I had no one else.
Now as an adult I'm just too lazy to go form meaningful relationships with people, every time I'm stressed, instead of doing something about it or going to a friend and talking about it, I just log onto the computer and do my best to forget about it. I'm trying to break myself out, but its been difficult.
tempjewman 7y ago
I recommend you replace this behaviour with going to the gym. Running is an excellent way to get bring your mood up and destress yourself. Ever since I became more serious about running, I consciously feel the difference before and after.
bigcitytruth 7y ago
Nail hit right on the head.
Also, this principle applies to online dating apps like Tinder. Getting messages and validation via the app is an addiction. Every time I shoot down Tinder on TRP, some smartphone-addicted kid tells me how I'm wrong and how great Tinder is. Yes, you can get girls on Tinder "easier," but it comes at a cost. The only girls you get online are themselves addiction-prone (and thus have far more problems with bad behavior), and you're sabotaging your own personal health by tying a significant part of your social life to an app. It's been only a handful of years that these apps have even existed; picking up women in real life should be a skill that all men should have. To use a lifting analogy, Tinder is a Smith machine. Use real weights for real growth, gentlemen.
king_of_red_alphas 7y ago
The irony is that much of TRP itself is an echo chamber which strokes rage boners on a daily basis with stories of divorce-rape, wall hitting and stupid beta tricks.
All of these things are subtly just confirming your existing world view and give you that nice warm feeling of everything being in the order you predicted.
The actionable advice threads and moments of honest introspection show up enough to justify reading the sub, but for many people you can tell it is their daily hit of rage porn same as the outrage addicts at TwoX.