Well my SO was surfing on Indian forum and found this story. She showed it to me and asked some really difficult questions.
"I have been married for 5 years(ARRANGED Marriage) and currently living outside of India. Before I tell my story, I would like to give a brief descripion of my husband's upbringing/past so that it would give you an insight on the reason and help me take a due course in my life.
My husband was brought up in a strict and orthodox family. My inlaws are decent people from middle class background who worked and sacrified a lot for their children. My husband right from childhood was a hardworking student and he is one of those kids who every parent dreams off and one who checks off on all the standards that indian parents look for. Ideal student, no bad friends/ no bad habits, no girl friends, always a topper, top university etc etc. He later moved overseas and started making good money. He too sacrificed a lot & built a big home for his parents & provided all luxuries like car etc for his parents. He lived for many years in US without Car, not spending on travelling, no expensive clothes, no personal comforts as he wanted to give his parents & family what he dreamed of. This I can tell based on what I heard from his relatives & my own interaction with him. He was kind of what his relatives wanted their kids to be like. We both are from same town and everyone said I was lucky to get him.
Coming to our marriage life, it was a very happy life for me right from engagemnet to marriage and first couple of months into marriage. He was a caring, loving & responsible husband. Everthing was just perfect. In short it was like living in a dream. Then everything came tumbling down and all because of my 'past'.
I was in a relationship with a guy from my college and it continued for a long time right until the point my marriage was fixed. We tried our best to get married but could not proceed due to parents opposition due to caste differeneces etc. My husband came to know about it and was upset. He questioned me & I accepted. During that conversation, I told him it's past and said that I was virgin and that I never did anything other than holding hands with my ex. But the truth was we did have physical relationship and I was still in touch with my ex(Just emails. No calls or chats. My ex was very depressed and I was just giving a shoulder to him to cry and giving him emotional support) But couple of weeks later, my husband foudn out the truth that we had physical relationship and was still in contact with him over emails. I used to maintain a separate email account to communicate with my ex. My husband was able to find out about it and had proof of everything like our physical relationship etc from that account. He was very depressed. He cried a lot but did not shout or hit me. He also found that I had one more BF in my school days. Eventually he got out of it or that's what I thought but that was not the case. He read all our emails after marriage, intimate chats before marriage, our intimate pics etc and was not able to forget them. He kept to himself. Later I found that he confided this whole thing to his trusted close person(not his parents) but that person just like everyone told him to keep this to himslef, that its's normal now-a-days and how past does not matter & only thing that matters is how I'm behaving with him now. I think this diturbed him more saying that even his side people are taking my side and not sympathetic towards him. We have been leading a normal life where we have happy days and not so happy days. Whenever something triggers him, he turns into this nasty person who talks sarcastically about my past and keeps bringing my past in a indirect way. But below behaviour is what is bothering me:
He has taken to smoking/drinking a lot. When I begged him to stop, he says "Now-a-days, this is normal etc etc" Goes to late night parties with is guy frends on a regular basis. He replaced his Regular car with a very expensive Car. Spends too much on expensive clothes, $5000 watch, expensive vacations etc. In short he turned from a pauper guy who used to spend more on families comforts/luxuries to a a person who self indulges. Before all this happened, he had $100K in savings and was thinking of buying a house but he now, he has nothing as he spent everything on these unnecessary things. He had a plan for everything but now he does not think about future at all like house, kids etc. He changed his tone on kids too. Initially we agreed on 2 kids. But now, he says 1 kid but that he has been delaying. We have been married for 5 years. I'm nearing my 30's but he says he is still not ready and wants 3-4 years. If I argue, he says "Now-a-days, this is normal to have 1 kid, have kids late or no kids at all". He sometimes says he does not want kids. Though I'm a house wife, he used to help me with chores like cooking, cleaning dishes, vacumming, laundary etc. But now, he does not even put his coffee cup in sink. Though I can manage but I'm worried about his behaviour and wonder he will ever forget my past and come out of his bad feelings. I even lost my parents trust & their support. I once bursted out to my parents after a fight I had with my husband and told them he came to know about my past and his change in his behaviour. I should not have done that. My father and my close uncle called and apologized to him and tried to reason with him and during their converstaion they sais something like 'This is common now-a-days but I know my daughter. She will never cross limits etc'. My husband then bursted out about my physical relationship and told them about my mis-adventures and how I was in contact even after marriage. My parents were shocked and now blame me for everything and say that they are ashamed of me. They simply say "You have brought upon your own problems. You deal with it"." tl-dr: A typical Indian nice guy found his wife was lying about her past and then becomes an asshole.
What would you have done if you were the husband in the story?
AnjaJutta 7y ago
No mention of the real problem. She is not fucking him and he is getting it from somewhere else.
Troll_Name 7y ago
Nailed it out of the park.
Number-1 thought in the guy's head, guaranteed.
So he puts himself back on the market, which includes spending his money on looks and status symbols rather than spending it on unfriendly strangers.
Whatever you do, do it for someone who appreciates it.
drrootnsnoot 7y ago
See ladies, this is what men want. Not this new age bullshit you can be as big a cumdumpster as you want because the past doesn't matter. It fucking matters. This dude was willing to exalt this woman and live for her benefit until he found out she was no virgin and then he no longer cares. I kind of love this Indian bro and hope he gets a lot of high quality pussy on his road to salvation.
Lsegundo 7y ago
Arranged marriage is fucked up. I wonder how long she was expected to go without a bf, no sex, no kissing even.
Then she has to lie because the fucked up culture says she must be pure.
There is a happy medium somewhere between sluts riding the CC and chastity until arranged marriage. (its not in the middle either)
I am not going to come here and start bashing on a chic that was forced to end an LTR and enter an arranged marriage to appease her parents.
Dbb8on678 7y ago
Ye such a fucked up culture. Why can't they just engage in uncontrolled hedonism and degeneracy like us in the west? They should look at all our happy single mother families, cucks and broken marriages as an example.
Lsegundo 7y ago
It's not "either or". Just because arranged marriage is fucked up doesn't mean riding the CC is good.
So yes that culture is still fucked up. I am also not interested in debating which pile of shit smells less bad.
TheRedThrowAwayPill 7y ago
Not that I support said culture, but, doesn't he have to go through all that too?
That is, they're both on the same ride so they could have had a chance of being each other's first.
Lsegundo 7y ago
He was probably beta-ized to the point that no women would fuck him anyway. Then he was lied too and told that his princess was equipped with an brand new, still in the wrapping vagina.
Then there is the other guy. Imagine having an LTR ripped away from you by her parents and handed to some other guy. The whole thing is fucked up and 3 people are feeling shitty because of it. As a fiercely independent person who often does his own thing it this culture would make me insane.
angryomlette 7y ago
The scenario is that of a typical India guy and pretty believable and worst part are habits like not drinking, high achiever guy, family intervention is all true. Even the friends attitudes are accurate because that is what is preached through out their lives; "Keep a secret from someone that could save him literally from doing a blunder". And this is the general attitude of Indians.
The best thing is for the guy to divorce her, pay a one time alimony and run away from the bitch. Although it may not be the best path to take, once she decides to screw him up, shes got plenty of opportunities to screw him over, such as Dowry harassment, Domestic violence etc law. There are other ways, but most lawyers (including his own) and judges find it easier to side with woman.
As for women in India, although traditions value modesty and therefore restrict women, they always find ways to use it for their advantage and know how to bypass it.
DubbleFUPAwitCheez 7y ago
Are you gay? Why are you saying SO?
Docbear64 7y ago
What I find the most interesting is the fact she lives i na society where they value modesty and so her past indiscretions have fucked her over not just in terms of her SO's eyes but her familys as well . I don't think women need to be considered angels but it is refreshing to hear a chick had her flings when she was younger, got hitched and still remained contact with an ex ( and explicitly lied about it) and her entire world has shit on her because she had a near perfect husband who was happy to merely have her in his life on a falsified pretense of who she was.
I don't think women should pay for their sins forever but she lost me at the lied to her husband point which lead to him discovering the lie and going full on IDGAF . She had one job to this man be a committed , supportive wife and blew it .
hreddy 7y ago
Can you share us the difficult questions your SO asked?
max_peenor 7y ago
"Why don't you love me."
Um... because you fucked other men.
That was a fun conversation.
YayBudgets 7y ago
(new to the subreddit, trying to figure out what it's about) In this scenario are men expected to be virgins too? Or is part of this subreddit the belief that only women need to be? Is it a belief that there is a physical change in a woman or a statement about how she feels about men?
max_peenor 7y ago
No. Men are expected to improve themselves to the point where they are clearly suitable mating partners and any number of women seek their genetic material.
How are we supposed to spread our genetic material if women won't have sex? I know, you think we are slut shaming you, but the truth is we LOVE sluts. Without them, our dicks stay dry and that is downright inconvenient.
I'm not sure what you are talking about wrt physical change. Does being a cheating, lying whore wife somehow alter the DNA of a woman? I'm not sure anyone has done any studies on that.
goldnhorde 7y ago
I guess I am just stuck like Chuck on this one.
She's wondering what the problem is ... and what I do not get is that she caused all of her problems.
She didn't just go be with the guy she was with before, that is if she were welcome there and not just drawing her own conclusions of why her past relationship didn't work out.
she then lied about it .... to everyone
she then continued a completely inappropriate online relationship with this ex. after getting married
she continued to lie about it. she even made a hide a way email to deepen the deception.
She then brought in other people to SHARE his misery and shame with ... so now the whole family knows
wow .... looks like life is not some Bollywood romance bullshit, run around where and do what the hell "her heart" tells her, fall in love, live her life, then find love was in front of her the whole time with this sweet and caring guy, and then live happily ever after seeing how lucky she was .....
.... because she's trashy. not once in this whole deal did she think "This is wrong and I owe my husband better?"
this woman doesn't deserve to have a kid with this guy. I mean his story is pretty amazing and if it is mostly true, you give this guy respect.
Metalbear55 7y ago
Here's the husband's opinion on the situation http://indusladies.com/community/threads/feeling-depressed-with-my-life-need-suggestions-part-1.295871/
Man, I feel sorry for him
feminists_are_dumb 7y ago
Lol she has facial hair. That's the true icing on this shit cake.
JacksterTO 7y ago
Damn it. After reading that I feel so fucking bad for him. I hope he gets the strength to leave her and get a better life for himself.
MattyAnon Admin 7y ago
Standard lying to betas followed by trickle truth.
Same thing this guy did - realise his marriage is a sham based on nothing more than exploitation and lies and that investing in a woman is financial suicide. Transfer to living for myself. Except I'd also get a divorce.
Of course this wouldn't happen to me, because no fucking way I'd ever believe anything about a woman enough to marry her.
Do Not Marry
max_peenor 7y ago
Talk about not one fuck given. This guy took the pill shoved down his throat hard and raw just like his wife took her ex's cock so very many times. Everything he was told about women and life was a lie. And now he he is ready to burn that world down.
We need to get this guy to post here.
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Lsegundo 7y ago
Why not be mad at the system? I was threatened with terrible consequences growing up if I had pre marital sex. I still had pre marital sex and lots of it.
max_peenor 7y ago
I'm not mad. Particularly at the system. The current one has tied its own noose.
Enjoy the decline.
sunshine_machine 7y ago
When you learn that past is past and there's nowhere to go but up from here, there's not a whole lot to be mad about. The system is broken, yes, but that's why RP exists to help us navigate us and ultimately getting our dicks sucked or more.
[deleted] 7y ago
Funnily enough, her job is so laughably easy, balls empty, stomach full. She has someone who will work themselves to death, and thats all she had to do.
feelings are clearly more important, well, sounds like she gets ton's of feelings now
plutorising92 7y ago
I'm an Indian, and this made me laugh so much. This is all so true, and 80% of the guys don't know that this shit is always going on behind their backs. I read on Roosh's site how Indian women are even more manipulative than their western counterparts and I would agree. Indian girls are not above getting surgically repaired vaginas to 'prove' their virginity. I'm just 24 and I've seen this shit happen in college. Hell, in school I had a friend who's girlfriend was from a conservative Muslim family, and her parents were going to start looking for a husband as soon as she was 18. She let him cum in her every time they got together. Make no mistake, these women are flat out the best liars I've ever seen.
I'm glad I'm not ever going to get married. I'm still in my anger phase, but man these whores are worse than your worst nightmares.
brownhercules 7y ago
I am an Indian and I agree. All my ex girlfriends have been like this. I used to fuck my 18 year old ex gf raw every day. Bitch loved eating my cum. This was until she moved to US and found a beta Mexican boy for herself. I pity him whenever I see pictures of them kissing on Snapchat.
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teeelo 7y ago
I got my Indian mother to finally admit she was a liar and the funny thing is she can't even recant the statement without admitting she would be lying about it.
Yeah she's kind of an idiot.
[deleted] 7y ago
All mothers lie TBH. They repackage their lies as 'mother's love' or something like that.
[deleted] 7y ago
I cracked up after reading this sentence. I have seen this kind of behavior from most women here in India(heck, I fucked them). The 'virgin girl' stereotype, roflmao.
My theory is that there are two reasons why women here are the worst 1) they are raised like princesses 2) they are ugly. So, they go to large extents to get what they want.
Women here always have atleast 1 'backup' friend who's always a beta. Never met a girl who doesn't have atleast 1 beta guy in rotation either in fb/whatsapp or something like that.
plutorising92 7y ago
Hahaha yeah. They are raised like princesses, and the hot ones really need to be treated like dog shit before they start talking to you. Then you find out just how virginal they are. One of my ex gfs made me take her to a seedy hotel once because I was treating her like shit and I didn't want to spend any money on her. She was a royal(from a well-known family to boot) and a pure, chaste girl on the outside with even some alphas acting like betas in her presence.
And yeah, even the ugly girls here think they're 8 or 9 because of all the thirsty betas around. I've seen ugly Indian girls go out with 3-4 guys around them.
I'd feel like I'm unnecessarily bashing Indian women if I didn't know all of this to be true. Fucking conniving sluts. You really do need to be an asshole and sometimes downright sadistic/malicious if you want to get a hot girl.
navigating_nimbly 7y ago
agree. dated an indian semi-observant muslim girl for 1.5yrs. I'm a white guy so we had to hide it from her family. Best liars, filthy sex. she was super-manipulative and so was her mother
showtime8-24 7y ago
Some of the filthiest sex I have ever had was with a Pakistani Muslim girl. I was 23 at the time and she was 19. She claimed to be super religious, virgin etc. Anyway after 2 dates she let me fuck her in every room of my place and in every position. She used to send me naked pics, videos of her touching herself etc. all the time.
navigating_nimbly 7y ago
yeah. I fucked her even before the 1st date. went from 0-->100 when I first kissed her when we were just hanging out.
TonyZ554 7y ago
Some may say the husband in this story is just insecure and "felt" like he missed out, well he did miss out. He put so much work in his life so he could indulge later and was unfortunately forced into a relationship with someone who was not held to the same standard in regards to livelihood. He was given a deal that if he worked his ass off when he was younger that he would get a wife(presumably a virgin based off the culture) that he could then build a family and indulge with. Instead he was shafted on his deal, and realized it was made under false pretenses. Had he known the truth, he might not have gone through with it despite his family probably trying to force him otherwise.
Also this was something that caught my eye:
Well let's take a look at that, you're still in contact with an ex lover even though you're married.
almostaristotle 7y ago
Well spotted. Proves how she doesn't even think that it's a problem, probably just expected of men that their wives will be " just friends" with the ex.
I have no fucking doubt she would have fucked the ex the very chance she got.
Fnaut3187 7y ago
Typical "Alpha fucks, Beta Bucks" scenario which is not new to Indian Arranged marriages.
1) Her boyfriend, probably Alpha she used to fuck
2) Her Husband, definitely beta from her description
I think the husband is doing what any frustrated beta would do once he finds out about his wife's past.
Troll_Name 7y ago
It's what a person SHOULD do.
These "obligations" are just imaginary paydays for a bunch of because-I-say-sos. If you want something then earn it; if you want to earn something from me then get on my good side first. If this were every man's policy then there would be no such thing as TRP because there would be no nightmare to wake up from.
Fnaut3187 7y ago
He is being passive aggressive instead of sorting this mess out.
max_peenor 7y ago
I dunno. A lot of BP would suck it up and plod along in quiet agony.
He has reduced her to housekeeper and once he alienates enough of his family, which he is clearing undertaking, he'll put the slut to the curb.
landon042 7y ago
exactly, any pathetic cuck would keep putting up with her shit and say "of course baby we can have an open relationship"
dude is using his cash for a rolex and 2 door sports car and who knows what he wears, said expensive, either we assume he's flexing in gucci or he just bought alot of suits.
either way he's better than the cuck and trying to fuck other women because he knows she's jsut a reformed slut
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Battle-Scars 7y ago
I'm not Indian, or raised in a caste system, or believe in arranged marriages, so I couldn't begin to understand that shit show or comment on it.
angryomlette 7y ago
Nope, its just women with Indian flavor mixed to the story.
Troll_Name 7y ago
It's not much different east or west.
People aren't supposed to partner with who they want - according to the tribal elders - they're supposed to partner with who they're told to and be glad they have access to the opposite sex at all.
For typical men, this means being a lifelong pension for retired town bicycles. This is the fate of all men who rely on charity sex instead of shaping up and adventuring out.
feminists_are_dumb 7y ago
No back in the day, if you whored yourself out, you didn't get married and everyone resented you for being a burden.
[deleted] 7y ago
Caste got nothing to do with this you redneck fucktard.
Battle-Scars 7y ago
Like I said, I'm not Indian so I'm not familiar with your social systems and how arranged marriages even have a chance of working out. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, which, in Op's post is exactly what happened but ymmv.
BusterVadge 7y ago
Biology is biology. Social conditioning can't overcome that.
plutorising92 7y ago
It did earlier. Since the rise of Bollywood/media promoted promiscuity and feminism, no chance.
[deleted] 7y ago
Yes it definitely can.We are humans and what separate us feom other animals is the ability to overcome our biological instincts (or at least reduce them to a minimal level).The problem is that today's social upbringing(feminism,fucking with multiple partners,etc.) turns women into sluts.