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- Hide Preview | 2 Comments | submitted 3 weeks ago by Jcorb [Post Locked]

I don't think it would be a stretch to say this is one of the most misunderstood subreddits -- hell, communities -- around. When I first discovered it, I totally fell into the trap of thinking "It's just a big anti-woman circle-jerk", but over time, I started seeing that -- and it's core -- it's a community built around bettering yourself, and filling a void that I think a lot of men feel.

Of course, I apparently still had certain misconceptions. The whole "one-itis" thing and "putting women on a pedestal", I think subconsciously I always viewed that "don't do those things, because it's not 'cool'" or "that's not how alphas act".

The other night I was reflecting on things going on in my life. I've got a full-on crush on this one woman, despite clearly not being into me, and even though I realize it's a problem, I have a hard time shutting it down. Then I thought about this other woman I know -- a friend-of-a-friend situation, also probably not into me -- and thought "Man, how do I keep getting into these situations?".

And then, it just kind of "clicked".

I keep putting myself into these situations.

It's not that these women are leading me on or toying with me; it's that I'm subconsciously telling myself, "I don't have any value and my only hope is to land a girl I already know".

It's all shit that you guys talk about all the time, but it's like listening to a song where you memorize all the lyrics, versus truly understanding the lyrics.

It's like a minor epiphany, where all of a sudden, all this shit makes sense. Like... The focus isn't just "being so attractive that women stop turning you down", but changing your mindset so that you stop hurting yourself.

Because that's exactly what I've been doing; these women didn't cause me to have "one-itis". I've basically been self-sabotaging myself my whole life, without even really realizing it. If a woman is unfortunate enough to enter my orbit, who was single and/or attractive, I'd mentally start thinking "how can I 'get' her?", never realizing that I was basically telling myself I was worthless because I could only ever hope to land a woman if I was "convenient" to her.

Like I said, this might just all be shit you've heard before. But it really felt like kind of a mental breakthrough for me, realizing that all the shit this sub talks about, it really is about bettering yourself. And that also means addressing your own self-destructive habits.

I dunno. Food for thought.

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[-] HandsofThyme 1 Point 3 weeks ago

I'm gonna condense a little social calculus for you. In my hand, I hold a little pill.

You can guess the color.

First: Here's a brief definition of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Wikipedia lists:

"In the field of psychology, the Dunning–Kruger effect is a cognitive bias in which people of low ability have illusory superiority and mistakenly assess their cognitive ability as greater than it."

This manifests in loads of ways. People underestimate the time it takes them to take to do something. Ninety (90!!!) percent of all drivers think that they are an "above-average driver."

Second: Let's talk about averages. Based on the 300,000 men (AFAIK circa quarantine) that subscribe to this forum, that's enough to create an average distribution of "male quality." So we're gonna have some people here who won't have much success, we'll have some who can pull off the street any day. For all these men, our goal at TRP is to improve their odds, whatever those odds might be.

But know thyself. How do you really stack up? What's your number? Are you a 5 crushing on 7s? How far above your attraction are you shooting?

If you're a "3" right now, TRP still wants to get you to a 5, or a 6, but unless you win the lottery or develop one hell of a Napoleon Complex, you won't achieve enough as a man to ever pick up the 8s and 9s that are the implicit promise of the American Dream (dreams, as you may recall, are by definition a fantasy).

Third: Let's talk about media. If you're a woman, and you want to be an actress, how attractive do you have to be? Media ain't fucking around with averages, here. And media teaches you want to want. That's part of why the goal here, which is usually "become a better man," and "get laid more," gets extrapolated to "pull 8+'s off the street with your newfound masculine magnetism." And hey, the Internet told you that you had it in you, right?

To be a woman in any sort of media outlet, you've got to be an 8 or above. Anything lower, and you're comic relief, which is not part of the advertisement to the male fantasy.

You, average male, have been trained to find women at 8+ worthy of attraction – anything else is subtly, subconsciously, a compromise.

But are you yourself 8+ material? Or are you just average? Are you a masculine and attractive figure who entices women, or are you being sold unsupportable crushes by an industry that understands fantasies sell, and realities bum people out?

Conclusions:

The likelihood is that by endorsing your own fantasies, you have to engage in some Dunning-Kruger, but the reality in the back of your head is bumming you out because you know your current value, and it's not high enough.

From the standpoint of my industry, by making the average man both savagely hungry for the "feminine essence," or whatever, but also unsatisfied with the results that realistically track based on their true position, you end up making a lot of people unhappy... and unhappy people buy things.

They're also willing to shell out lots of money to satisfy and provide for a woman who does meet their new falsely-elevated standard for attraction.

QED, modern consumption habits were invented by manipulating men whose best bet at a fantasy was Beta Provision.

​

If you want to break out of that cycle, well –

check out that bar at the right side of your screen.