Here's an interesting post I found on Quora. Unintentionally RP. I forgot the original author's name. Fight me.
When I was in college, I had a friend I’ll call “Dan.” Dan (not his real name) was completely, abysmally unsuccessful with ladies. He used to whine incessantly about how girls didn’t like nice guys and only go for bad guys.
He had this crazy crush on one woman in particular. He would sit in my dorm room complaining to me and my roommate that she didn’t even know he existed.
One day, I asked him if he ever considered, you know, telling her that he fancied her and asking her out. He looked at me with absolute horror in his eyes and said “I couldn’t do that, that’s not respectful! I’m nice!”
This is a theme I’ve seen over and over in this conversation. Guys who whine about how girls only like bad guys have a completely skewed, warped, and frankly kind of sick idea about “good” and “bad.”
Does he ask women out? He’s a bad guy! Does he wear a leather jacket? He’s a bad guy! Does he listen to an unpopular genre of music? He’s a bad guy! Go to concerts? Drink rum? Talk openly about sex? Express his own opinion? He’s a bad guy!
Their perception of good and bad is so twisted, they confuse “not doing what I think they should do” with “being bad.”
The other side of the equation is their distorted sense of “nice.” They believe that “being nice” means being inoffensive and not saying anything controversial, because that’s how you should be. They think they should get a woman as a reward for following the rules.
They become confused when they see men who don’t follow these “rules” succeeding with women. It must be because women don’t want nice guys! Women must want bad guys!
In real life, you have a girlfriend because a woman has chosen to be with you. Women choose to be with men who they find interesting and engaging. Being nice is good; nice guys often find girlfriends…
…if by “nice” you mean “kind,” and (this is the important part, so pay attention) in addition to being kind, that are also interesting.
And, you know, they actually ask people out, instead of recoiling in horror at the mere idea.