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- Hide Preview | 26 Comments | submitted 4 months ago by UpperRedSide [Post Locked]

Here's an interesting post I found on Quora. Unintentionally RP. I forgot the original author's name. Fight me.

When I was in college, I had a friend I’ll call “Dan.” Dan (not his real name) was completely, abysmally unsuccessful with ladies. He used to whine incessantly about how girls didn’t like nice guys and only go for bad guys.

He had this crazy crush on one woman in particular. He would sit in my dorm room complaining to me and my roommate that she didn’t even know he existed.

One day, I asked him if he ever considered, you know, telling her that he fancied her and asking her out. He looked at me with absolute horror in his eyes and said “I couldn’t do that, that’s not respectful! I’m nice!”

This is a theme I’ve seen over and over in this conversation. Guys who whine about how girls only like bad guys have a completely skewed, warped, and frankly kind of sick idea about “good” and “bad.”

Does he ask women out? He’s a bad guy! Does he wear a leather jacket? He’s a bad guy! Does he listen to an unpopular genre of music? He’s a bad guy! Go to concerts? Drink rum? Talk openly about sex? Express his own opinion? He’s a bad guy!

Their perception of good and bad is so twisted, they confuse “not doing what I think they should do” with “being bad.”

The other side of the equation is their distorted sense of “nice.” They believe that “being nice” means being inoffensive and not saying anything controversial, because that’s how you should be. They think they should get a woman as a reward for following the rules.

They become confused when they see men who don’t follow these “rules” succeeding with women. It must be because women don’t want nice guys! Women must want bad guys!

In real life, you have a girlfriend because a woman has chosen to be with you. Women choose to be with men who they find interesting and engaging. Being nice is good; nice guys often find girlfriends…

…if by “nice” you mean “kind,” and (this is the important part, so pay attention) in addition to being kind, that are also interesting.

And, you know, they actually ask people out, instead of recoiling in horror at the mere idea.

[-] Auxfite 40 Points 4 months ago

Alpha fucks(bad guy), beta bucks(nice guy)

You’re born alone and you die alone. People can’t accept that

Made a video on how to stop being the nice guy(beta bux) https://youtu.be/tt5tiNs7Yiw

[-] thewrecker8 9 Points 4 months ago

Who are all those people in the delivery room when you're born?

[-] Auxfite 12 Points 4 months ago

Did they come out ur moms vagina too?

[-] thewrecker8 6 Points 4 months ago

Well some were older siblings so yes

[-] SJWOPFOR 8 Points 4 months ago

No tools to communicate with a sibling, no concept of their shared experience, you could he birthed alongside 1000 siblings and still be alone

[-] largepaycheckaddict 33 Points 4 months ago

I used to see the world the same way when I was some puritanicql blue pill virgin teenager.

This line of logic is the result of an absence of traditional masculine advice in regards to dating and relationships, but also in regards to self esteem and basically “doing you”.

This guy is overly worried about “what will people think of me!” In reality asking a girl out is as basic and normal as asking a friend to hangout and shoot hoops or applying for a job to earn a living. You shouldn’t care “what people will think”.

Personally I’d be more concerned with “what will people think of me if I’m some whiny loser who’s too cowardly to take action in my life?”

[-] brotein_synthesis 1 Point 4 months ago

In other words, a general anxiety disorder + an abset father figure.

[-] KeffirLime 15 Points 4 months ago

It's a self preservation mechanism, most commonly used by unsuccessful cucks and burned lovers.

"They must be bad guys, because I'm good" or "He must be an asshole, because I'm a great gal"

Trying to make themselves feel better about the harsh realities of life. You'll be pleasantly surprised how much of life is framed in order to preserve ones sense of self.

[-] Thunderbird93 12 Points 4 months ago

I'd say "nice guys" deny their animalistic nature. As homo sapiens we are definitely the smartest but we are just another species. Getting horny is natural and the nice guy refuses to authentically admit he is in heat like a bull elephant in must. So what does he do? He rationalizes and gives up his internal locus of control to something external. The more a man admits he is simply an animal, the more objective he becomes in intersexual dynamics such as escalation

[-] VasiliyZaitzev 10 Points 4 months ago

He used to whine incessantly about how girls didn’t like nice guys and only go for bad guys.

Yeah, so, here's the thing: you can bitch about how the market doesn't like your product or you can adapt to market conditions. If you keep doing the same shit over and over and it doesn't work, maybe it's time to rethink your strategy? "Waah! Why should I have to change?" Nice guys are no different from fat chicks who won't get fit because guys "should" like BBWs, not hot girls. Winners win, and losers WHINE. Simples.

[-] NextBad 0 Points 4 months ago

False Narrative, and BBW are doing just fine, he was taught asking a girl out was disrespecting, it has nothing to do with excuses

[-] askmrcia 6 Points 4 months ago

Yes and no I agree with this. I'll take myself out of this, but I've known dudes who were decent guys who asked women out and got curved or flaked on only for a guy who treated those same women as trash.

The term "nice guy" is so watered down now that it basically means beta socially enept males.

So I'll say this. Good men NOT "nice guys" also get overlooked.

In your example it was basically a dude complaining because he didn't even make a move. I don't consider that a nice guy, but more of a pussy

[-] Asayanora 5 Points 4 months ago

I used to be that guy until I learned to not take life too seriously. It mostly comes from having no strong social background when it comes to dating and were probably sheltered or from overly strict religious homes. These kinds of people are given bad or no advice on how relationships should work and told cliche 'just be nice or yourself' advice.

[-] Princejuvy 5 Points 4 months ago

Alot of us "Nice Guys" Have it beaten into our heads growing up by our mothers and aunts that that is how we are supposed to treat women. After taking the redpill and going monk mode for a while... then going to Europe and fucking a couple prostitutes while I was there to lose my virginity and boost my self esteem and fear of being naked in front of a woman I am finally ready to open my eyes in regards to attracting and getting women.

[-] exit_sandman 2 Points 4 months ago

Alot of us "Nice Guys" Have it beaten into our heads growing up by our mothers and aunts that that is how we are supposed to treat women.

You forgot to mention the media

[-] Princejuvy 1 Point 4 months ago

Ah yes you are correct. The media tells us this is how we should treat women as well. Good catch.

[-] INNASKILLZ2K18 4 Points 4 months ago

Nice Guys, simply use being 'nice' to cover up the fact they feel less than, not good enough and insecure. They don't know how to man up and have some fucking spine...so they rationalize by saying 'well, I can't seem to do what other men do...so I won't be a 'man'. In justification, they'll convince themselves that everything other men do, is 'bad'.

True nice guys, are just resentful, jealous, bitter people. They have the EXACT same desires as other men, but just don't know how to get them met. 'Why, WHY did she pick that big bad man, who actually had sex with her!!!??" "Why oh why, didn't she pick me??".

OMG, they are so fucking warped.

[-] brotein_synthesis 3 Points 4 months ago

It's a common problem for boys that have been raised withot fathers or with absent ones. He's in for a rude awakening if he's lucky or a painful subservient beta existence full of suffering. The essence of masculinity is strength and competitiveness. Men who oppose this will live sexless unfuilfilled lifes.

[-] SKRedPill 3 Points 4 months ago

Nice Guys are fundamentally trained by the 'good boy, bad boy' concept to do everything based on validation and approval from others, even if they themselves know it's not the right thing or what they really need - trained for obedience and betadom rather than to be trained to lead their own lives and inspire others. So even when they're grown up, they think like a kid instead of an adult man.

Nice Guys are fundamentally flawed because they're hamstrung by ideas of good and bad that have no relevance to reality. Most of them aren't really nice even to themselves. According to NMMNG, they never went through the natural cycle of becoming independent from their parents by slowly breaking down the child relationship and then learning to handle their own shit and relating to them as adults.

The conditioning of their mothers and BP fathers is strong with them. This BP stuff might have made life easier for their parents as a kid, but somewhere he needs to grow out of it, which he ever did.

[-] --Sai 2 Points 4 months ago

Hey, could you recommend any Quora spaces you like?

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[-] maxrp 1 Point 4 months ago

These are not 'nice guys' these are losers. and you need to stop confusing nice guys as losers.

A nice guy is quite capable of asking a girl out. A loser will look at you horrified for suggesting it.

[-] NextBad 0 Points 4 months ago

False blue pill narrative, asking a girl out isn't something you should do without considering social implications

​

> Does he ask women out? He’s a bad guy! Does he wear a leather jacket? He’s a bad guy! Does he listen to an unpopular genre of music? He’s a bad guy! Go to concerts? Drink rum? Talk openly about sex? Express his own opinion? He’s a bad guy!

​

No, he is sexually assertive, is selfish, puts himself first, talks openly about sex, being a bad guy is framed as disrespect, and you been taught since 4 not to disrespect

​

> “I couldn’t do that, that’s not respectful! I’m nice!”

​

Being cat calling is almost a crime these days, what a useless post, no guidance of how to ask,

​

> Women choose to be with men who they find interesting and engaging. Being nice is good; nice guys often find girlfriends…

​

Nice in this context is beta, and you best believe there is social pressure to be that

[-] empatheticapathetic -4 Point 4 months ago

Please stop with this quora shit.

[-] UpperRedSide 8 Points 4 months ago

This is my first Quora related post.

Also...why?

[-] empatheticapathetic 2 Points 4 months ago

Quora is not a first hand experience of reality. It’s some story that may or may not be true and can be changed to fit whatever narrative the author intended. The same goes for anything written on here but at least on here there is more benefit of the doubt given to the author due to the fact he is on here at all.

The only reason it’s even acceptable in this case is because it’s preaching basic accepted lessons to the choir.