Saw the power of preselection and jealousy first hand | TheRedPill

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SuperNES

Posted 5y ago in Field Report - Permalink - Locked - 403 Views

To make a long story short I had a FWB for about 6 months that I was getting pretty close with, we will call her Sarah, didn't see any major red flags and she seemed like she had the potential for an LTR, we both had strong feelings for each other. Suddenly she started avoiding me and making excuses. Then said she wasn't comfortable with me anymore. I knew there was another guy because she was obsessed and instantly lost interest in me. I was right, she had a new boyfriend, that relationship lasted all of about a month before he dumped her. After they broke up she would occasionally shoot me some lame boring message or a meme or something once in a while which I just ignored.

So last weekend I go out to the bar solo and run into a girl from work I will call her Kate for this. They knew each other and hung out at that bar all the time. Now Kate is pretty hot and clearly interested in me, but I wasn't trying to fuck her and lose my job over it. We talked for a while and went our separate ways when the bar closed. The next day Sarah is blowing up my snapchat with sexy pictures and sending me messages trying to hint that she wants me to come over and save her from some creepy guy or various other stupid or made up problems. I ignore all of these and she finally messages me. "So Jake (the bartender) told me you were at the bar with Kate last night, I hope you aren't making any bad decisions" I just said "yeah we were at the bar together" Sarah proceeds to tell me about how I need to be careful and because as good of a friend as Kate is she's batshit crazy and will throw me under the bus the first chance she gets if I make her mad. She says she's just looking out for me. I told her "I will be fine, I'm not doing anything wrong"

Pretty lame FR I know, I could have definitely taken Kate home that night, but I have a pretty good job that I don't want to put at risk. What I took away from this is just how powerful preselection is. This girl was 100% done with me, had zero interest, couldn't give a fuck what I'm doing or how I'm doing, and now that she thinks I'm hooking up with one of her hotter friends she's blowing up my phone constantly trying to get my attention. I don't think anything will really come of it, I don't really want to fuck Sarah again because like I was saying I had some strong feelings for her and don't want to fall back into that trap. Kate isn't an option unless she decides to get another job or something. It was still interesting to see all that play out firsthand though, definitely something I will keep in mind.

TLDR: FWB dropped me and said she wasn't interested anymore, now that she thinks I'm hooking up with her hotter friend she wants me back.

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johnpayne10 5y ago

Not a bad field report.

First of all, the dread game that worked (even if it was unintentional) was a prime example of how sexual dynamics work.

Secondly, Sarah trash talking Kate was a prime example of competitive female sexual strategy and why girls secretly hate each other.

BobbyPeru 5y ago

What Sarah meant by not pissing her off is you didn’t fuck her, and Kate wanted to get fucked. That will piss a girl off more than anything. Learn to read between the lines- this is womanese

You are not in the clear/ now you have Sarah potential speadding rumors as well as a pissed off Kate.

For future reference, your best bet is to not hang out with work chicks at all

[deleted] 5y ago

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BobbyPeru 5y ago

He avoids the office drama, Sarah is jealous (not that it matters), and OP can move on. He'll probably continue to get sexual vibes and flirting from Kate at work,

Nope. I’ve had this scenario happen to me.

Don’t shit where you work. That includes flirting

swampbastard69 5y ago

I will never forget in college - I broke up with my gf - a month later she heard I was hanging out with one of her friends (exactly what happened to OP, I didn't hook up with her), her hamster started and she showed up late night to my apartment to bang. Her new boyfriend: a high quality guy a lot of girls would fawn over - saw her walking home from the vicinity of my apartment and then dumped her when he found out. She blew up her new relationship and her reputation among the 200 guys in his fraternity, because she heard a rumor - so crazy. Jealousy is an amazing tool. I didnt understand this phenomenon at the time.

gELSK 5y ago

// , I bet you do now, and then some.

Morphs_ 5y ago

This was jealously rather than preselection.

Also:

> I will be fine, I'm not doing anything wrong

You should have left out the second part (bold). It comes across as defensive.

144

JamesonWong 5y ago

I would say there is definitely an interaction effect between jealousy and preselection. Both indicate that you are a desired man. Once a girl realizes this, it circumvents her complex SMV judgment mechanics. If another high value woman desires this man, then his SMV must be high. Women are like herd animals, and tend to copy what the herd does.

UEMcGill 5y ago

Missed opportunity to pressure flip, "Aww, it's cute that you're jealous..."

SuperNES 5y ago

You make a good point, if I'm going to respond at all I might as well call her on her shit. Only thing that can happen is she stops talking to me or gets more attracted to me, it's a win-win situation for me. I should really just hard next her anyway. As soon as I plate another girl or two I'm not going to give a fuck about her anymore, so if she blocks me who cares when I have other women, and if she ends up more attracted to me I can keep her around as a fuck buddy/plate and nothing more.

UEMcGill 5y ago

Get plates. Plural. You need to embrace abundance.

Nocryingok 5y ago

their answers are only good if you're still trying to fuck Sarah

but it puzzles me: you don't want to bang her but still responds normal instead of trolling her

Aro2220 5y ago

Ho early he was ignoring all her other messages and then she hits below the belt and now he responds. He's just showing her if she wants his attention she needs to creep him. I'd have suggested saying nothing is the best move.

Sarah is a self entitled cunt. It's a shame..in another society they might have gotten happily married but sadly that won't happen

[deleted] 5y ago

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snowmoose1 5y ago

if you just keep a girl for fucking and you have no intentions of making her your LTR, you fucking drop her if you develop feelings.

SuperNES 5y ago

I did intend to make her an LTR until the last month of it. She seemed great at first, she was nice and submissive, wanted to fuck all the time, cooked for me, never expected me to pay for any of her stuff, didn't even want to move in, she was pretty hot, we had a lot of hobbies and interests in common. It wasn't until the last month of it when she started lying to me and avoiding me, that is when I knew what was going on, yeah I should have completely dropped her right then.

snowmoose1 5y ago

tingles are gone after 6 months bro, after 3 months most girls drop their facade and show who they really are . They do anything to make you like them and but it sucks so much energy to be your best 24/7. That’s the point, you have to keep your A game till you guys go separate ways or die or shel will just go get tingles elsewhere.

toolate4redpill 5y ago

THIS. Females can detect this in you and instinctively go in for the kill. You then became a "beta-bux" provider and she will get her "feels" with another alpha guy on the side.

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[deleted] 5y ago

Thank God you don’t speak with Sarah anymore.

What an immature shitshow of a person she is.

KeffirLime 5y ago

Need less of these types of comments.

I'm not saying she's an angel, but, Op throwing up his hands and saying Sarah is a shitshow of a person doesn't provide any learnings for him or anyone reading this.

What role did he play that lead to her branch swinging?

Where could he have improved?

Casting blame elsewhere is the easiest way to absolve oneself of any responsibility to improve, hence why so many jump to it.

OP touched on it in another comment

I didn't have other women or even a group of friends at the time, so I invested way too much time into her.

That's how we learn.

SuperNES 5y ago

This was exactly it, I didn't have abundance yet, she gave me a lot of attention so I reciprocated it since she was all I had at first. I took the easy route, why go out and try to pick up girls when all I had to do to get laid was text her "come see me tonight."? I put myself in a bad spot and lowered my SMV in her eyes. What I should have done was told her NO when she asked to come over every day, limited it to a couple nights a week and spent that free time making friends and picking up other girls. I won't make that same mistake again, now I'm back at square one because I wasted 6 months of my life with this one girl instead of putting myself out there and making connections. I've improved my game drastically by reading TRP and practicing it, but even though I know the importance of abundance I ignored that because I was getting laid constantly(with this one girl) with no effort. I won't make that mistake again.

ZephyrBluu 5y ago

What I should have done was told her NO when she asked to come over every day, limited it to a couple nights a week and spent that free time making friends and picking up other girls

Yeah if you spend that much time with anyone you're going to form a connection with them.

virusofthemind 5y ago

Don't concern yourself with this. A hard next is the most efficient option. If you're still getting some satisfaction that an ex plate is back into you and mentally you're saying to yourself "yeah told you so" then she still has a hold on your identity.

If you do hard next and don't return any of her messages and think to yourself "this must be driving her crazy" then you're still too concerned about what she thinks.

If the post is more a reflection on how effective preselection is and you've mentally moved on and thrown this girl in the bin then you're where you want to be.

AreOut 5y ago

"I had some strong feelings for her" try to cure this regardless of the girl

SuperNES 5y ago

Definitely something I need to work on, but that's why I'm still avoiding her even though it would be an easy lay. I moved to a new city and met her right away, so I didn't have other women or even a group of friends at the time, so I invested way too much time into her. Would be much better for me to meet other women and have true abundance.

TheLastMgtow 5y ago

Im guilty of banging my exs for revenge or for a last word lol.

I would not resist the temptation to make her slightly more jealous and bang her and dump her. But it almost always backfires.

Also she has been with the other dude, so its not a thing an honorable man would do. You are doing well

omega_dawg93 5y ago

do not fuck kate... find another woman to hang out with and/or pursue. there's no woman worth losing your job over except a job in porn. lol.

as for sarah, she was a fwb. now, if you're STRONG AF, you can put her back in that role, but you've gotta keep your 'feeeeelings' out of it. call it 'sport sex,' and tell her that's what you think of it, and she'll fix your 'feelings' for you by telling you to get lost.

the other option: sarah never existed. end all communication & disappear. forget the broad.

RepostGhostCst2Cst 5y ago

Why are you even still in contact?

[deleted] 5y ago

This. Remove her from snapchat. She's nexted, no reason to continue with her.

Framexemplary 5y ago

Appreciate this FR. The outcome isn't a lay but a better life due to cutting out crazy and sticking to TRP principles.

This is what we got to do to reach the higher levels of living.

ArchetypicalDegen 5y ago

I saw this recently with an ex. I was an idiot and wanted her back a bit (crazy hot and super high libido. yes I'm still blue pilled in actions). She wasn't that keen given when I dumped her, I also got some revenge on her for cheating.

Anyway, after she ditched one of our hangouts, I met a new girl and gained interest in her. I mentioned her in a conversation with my ex (admittedly to provoke a reaction). My ex preceded to freak the fuck out and begged me to take her back.

It's really interesting just how extreme the effect is.

strikethrough123 5y ago

Girls will sometimes “leave you for another guy” to see if you have the ability to get with other girls. Sometimes it’s a shit test. Make sure you gauge it effectively.

cobalt1728 5y ago

This would not surprise me at all if they did this as a shit test.

SuperNES 5y ago

That seems pretty extreme for a shit test, it doesn't really make any sense, if the guy passes that test by easily getting with other girls why would he go back to the dumb bitch that is playing him? I think it was just hypergamy more than anything, he's a few years older and slightly more attractive than me. Now that he's done with her I'm her best option again. A woman never wants to get back with a guy she perceives as lower value than the last one. I think I was her emergency backup, and now that she thinks I'm hooking up with this other girl she sees me as higher value and she's also jealous because if I was to get with this girl I'm not an option for her anymore.