Hey guys,
I was last saturday on a goa rave nearly sober. I love dancing and that was my first priority there. Just have fun and dance. So at the dancefloor I closed my eyes, a nice melodic goa beat flowed over my body and the bass went hard trough it. I started to swing my legs and move my arms with feeling to the melody. It was only me and the music, I floated from the whole dancefloor, had my strongest smile in my face, everything other was irrelevent. I was aware that the people looked at me, some guys are even did come to me to rock the dancefloor together.
In my peripheral sight I noticed a girl dancing beside me and I turned towards me sometimes. I noticed she was hot as fuck and had the same dance flow like me. But me a fearful noob didnt even risk a straight look. So I danced further and enjoyed the beat.
After the beat went slower she put her hand on my shoulder, had a very beautiful smile on her face at told to me "I find it very cool how you dance" - I responsed to her with a honest "thanks, you too". She thanked with a bright grin and we danced further for ourselfes. But now a little bit tighter side by side - our bodys touched. Yeah she was on and hot as hell and I knowed that Im a king on the dancefloor but a noob in seduction.
So we danced and danced, I checked her body out, she checked me out, then i wanted to make a push and went a few meter away from her while I fucked my head how to approach her or if I should take her hands and shit.
But then a guy went between us and they went a little bit touchy but in a more friendly way. Hmm how to overcome this situation? A guy is pushing between us and I dont know who this is for her, probably a orbiter. I dont was angry or so at him, I even partied with him later on the floor.
But I didnt figured out a answer, so I went on with dancing alone - happens. A few seconds later she went away.
I had the very shitty feeling of a missed opportunity. I had in the past some girls (not many), but none of them was so hot. And this was the first girl who approached me and looked so horny, maybe she was on mdma.
My mind started to fantasize about how I seduce her - simple these stories. And hoped to see her again.
A few times later I was on the dancefloor and she walked past me with strong eyecontact and a grin - following the other guy. This was the last moment of my chance, but I did nothing.
We have now wednesday and Im still thinking about the missed opportunity sometimes. I know it will pass but the annoy is there.
If I tried to approach her and in the course of time she rejects me, the feeling of my destroyed ego is more pleasant then the feeling of protected ego but missed opportunity. The feeling of "I could have a very cool time with her, but I never will know".
And if I failed at seduction, I have something to tap me on my shoulders and something to learn about it.
But Im learning of the protection of ego also. I think its very good to realize that in long term you better risk something instead of dont know the outcome. I was only feeding my ego like "a hot girl is horny because of me, Im the best dancer, Im so good looking" only to protect it furher.
I practice meditation and mindfullness and such situations are more painfull then ever since that. But you have to feel the pain obviously to prevent the suffering next time. I see this as an insight.
And I know that my approach anxiety will still be up in the near future but Im more willing to risk something.
tall_bacon 5y ago
I think others have covered proper responses nicely, but I’m just here to drop a link to probably the best website in the world for goa or psytrance, given the context of your post and experience.
ektoplazm
NormalAndy 5y ago
Lol!
Drunk In the Ealing chip shop: IOIs, out the door, into a cab Drunk in a club: IOIS, “let’s get out of here”, into a cab.
Either way, It happens that fast. Actions speak much louder than words (which is probably why your dancing did the talking). No worries, plenty more in Goa matey!
(The more I think about it, the more time I wish I had spent fishing.)
RiskyRewarder 5y ago
This is a simple matter of you didn't take the opportunity. He did. He saw, horny HB + beta = opportunity.
You needed to lead and you didn't. She went far further than most to display her interest, she was likely willing to go that far because she knew you were doing your own thing, liked what you were doing, and said this guy knows what he's about that's hot. It's his turn to have me, if he has what it takes.
She showed the amount of interest she felt was necessary to get your attention. After that, she expects you to lead. You needed to be the one leading her. You could have taken her back from him at anytime and led her to ecstasy. You chose that the other guy was better for her. She didn't choose, you did.
ArdAtak 5y ago
RiskyRewarder is right. This was a slam dunk easy opportunity. She gave you every opportunity to open her. I would have started chatting with her after 10 minutes and took here somewhere more quiet for a longer chat away from the loud dancefloor. It would have been so easy. Lesson learned. Next time don't hesitate.
ahg1008 5y ago
Exactly.. It had little to do with someone else barging in. You chickned out. Thats all.
RiskyRewarder 5y ago
Learn and move on. This chance is gone. Others will come. Take advantage next time.
slumdog-millionaire 5y ago
Regret will eat you alive from the inside out. I think just about all of us have been there. Keep your head up. Whenever I take shots that I end up missing even if it’s a long shot I always think at least I said something
Adx_tour 5y ago
"strike while the iron is hot"
AfterC 5y ago
As baseball analysts say:
3 strikes, and you're out. The best lawyer in the world can't argue you out of that one.
But swing and put the ball in play? Who knows what will happen.
Always swing, boys. Inside you is the man waiting to bustamove.
insidedynamite 5y ago
She expects you to compete over other males to get her. You didn’t compete. She’s disappointed and move on.
That’s just female nature. and it happens in subconscious. They want the strongest most dominant man. It doesn’t matter if you are a little bit like a jerk. Don’t feel bad of showing dominant and compete over other dudes. It’s just the game. No hard feelings
a good example is the novel "the great Gatsby". daisy ended up gravitated towards the strongest most assertive man in the room which was tom
gbdoragnic 5y ago
Competing is bad, you do you and have fun, let her choose on her own terms,
USMCNIN 5y ago
Just put your hands on her hips. Simple but very effective. Go from there. Can even start with just one hand...then pull her close.
Ansec 5y ago
It's a lesson for next time. When she touched you that was an obvious invite for you to touch her. Try it next time. Every interaction is an opportunity to improve. You'll get there and don't beat yourself up about it.
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hearse223 5y ago
Sounds like you missed out on a possible devil's threesome, good or bad depending on your view of things.
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chuck23y 5y ago
Agree with the post.
And please recommend me ways to learn how to dance to electronic music. YouTube, private lessons...?
SimilarHamster 5y ago
Imagine how you would dance to it if drunk. Watch how everyone around you is dancing. Combine the two while sober.
fapsober 5y ago
Hmm I come from the drum and bass scene, its a very different dance style than the dance style to techno, house etc. You are jumping more, and flow to the melody with your arms. And I adapted it to harder beats like goa or progressive trance and combinated it with hardstyle and x-step dance which I learned 8 years ago.
But it isnt important that you are a very good dancer, I suck when Im dancing with a chick. You only have to close at first your eyes when the beat goes slower and feel it in your body. Wave your arms smoothly to the melody, and whip with your body. Just feel the joy in your body, a smile in your face appears fast when you are sunken. When the beat drops, feel the joy further but now with more bodyaction and use the legs to the beat. Use yout hips too - ladys are loving it. Try to have for other instruments and melodys other body movements, but dont forget to enjoy yourself . It only has to feel right. Skills come with practice. You dont have to learn it trough videos. Maybe you can dance at home, I like it as well when Im home alone.
When Im looking trough the dancefloor its not hard to be the king of the floor. Especially at electronic partys the people only whip with their legs left and right, maybe use their arms a little bit but they are making always the same movements.
When you are dancing with your heart, you are spreading positiveness over the whole floor and people are coming to you for rocking together. I need a lot of room at the stage and people around you will give you the freedom (or its maybe because you are sweating so hard and wet as hell).
And one good thing is, you are feeling everywhere eyefucks from girls around you. Very good starting point to approaching or maybe even get approached :)
chuck23y 5y ago
Thank you! Sounds like a "stay in the present" exercise as well!
Sad_Sleeper 5y ago
This ToddV video is related to "out of my league" girls. It is spot on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6jnFO93CaxA
faustian_talos 5y ago
Mental masturbation. Dangerous as fuck. Better watch out for it. Almost cost me my life.
fapsober 5y ago
Yep the key is to notice the patter of the thoughts, observe it non judgemental and realize how only suffering comes with it. Someday you will letting go of it.
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