i read a comment on another thread saying that there aren't enough rejection stories. although i still don't have success stories i think i'm on my way and would like to share a little rejection story.
Background: almost 25 y/o, first year physics degree from israel, taken the pill almost a year and a half ago, after i bombed a date with my EX from 4 years before that, which was the first and last girl i fucked.
been going to the gym and doing keto. i think it's important not to look good, but to FEEL as if you look good. and man LIFTING does it. been approaching and trying to game girls ever since starting the semester. i would say i have a slightly above average face with a nice beard which makes me manlier and i'm still kinda fat but got enough muscle to "hide" it if you will (big upper body)
starting university has been amazing in that i get out of the house at least 4 times a week and there are so many girls who share courses with me and also just random university girls, and just people so i get the chance to be super social and try to apply game.
last thing: i'm going to tell the story from the perspective of "assume attraction", so even if i was imagining the attraction, i would say it's better to have assumed it was there.
Story time: so i have this girl friend[let's call her Blonde] who's hot lookswise and chill personalitywise.
she's got some hot girlfriends and a sorta nice apartment that her mom leaves once in a while to go sleep at her boyfriends or travel with him.
anyway she invites me over cuz she wanna see me fuck. she didn't say anything about a hot girl just said "mom's outta the house come over" and she threw a party invited some mutual friends. anyway i get to her house and she and her HB9 girlfriend [let's call her HB] (i don't support rating girls because it solidifies in your mind that she's somehow above you, but just to make the point that she was hot) that's an old friend from elementary school and they just reconnected that same day
so immediately i introduce myself and blonde also tries to drunkenly help by saying i'm studying for a degree. and we went to the living room to dance and make chit chat with everyone. i noticed HB was kinda being touchy with me and i didn't try too much to interact with her but then she gave me a look which i assumed was "fuck me eyes".
right then i took HB to blonde mom's bedroom, i just told her "hey did you see blonde mom's bathtub??" and sort of led her there by the small of her back. the bedroom has a big bed, bath tub and balcony window (i don't know how you call a big window). we get there and i close the door and try to open the balcony window. she says "here let me" opens the window. i say "i knew i could count on you"
HB: count on me for what?
me: that you'd know how to open (in my language i'd say it "came out wrong" but i loved that i didn't care saying it)
HB: so what did you bring me here for?
me: so you could see the bathtub, aaaaaand (i sorta started freezing at this point cuz i hadn't made a move on a girl in years) another thing..
HB: which is?
me: i gotta come closer for it (she's sitting on the edge of the bath-tub)
so i think i sorta rushed towards her and tried to pull the trigger.
she put the brakes and started to say things like "i don't even know you i mean what's your name??"
Me: fishinatot (calmly)
her: and what's my name?
me: actual name of HB
HB: you get my point? we don't know each other almost at all!
at this point i thought maybe i was being kinda rapy by standing on her way to the door and frightening her so i sat back where i wouldn't block her and said "btw you can leave if you want"
HB: no it's not like that we just don't know each other so let's talk
took that as a sign she wants to get comfortable with me.
so we talked and she told me she had the impression that i was an innocent kinda nerdy guy and that i surprised the hell out of her by showing i got the balls to try and kiss her. she actually asked me if i was on coke or something cuz of my guts AND i had huge pupils (I'm clean 1.5 months from vices - alcohol, weed, carbs, sugar, ), i tell her "maybe it's because i'm attracted to you" and i go to the mirror saying "wow i gotta see it" i said it calmly! not trying to validate her, but genuinely trying to theorize why my pupils were so big.
when she found out i also like rock music like her (she likes blues and rock from what i understood) she tried to "cold read" me i guess? trying to figure me out
she came to the conclusion that in contrast with her first impression that i'm a nerdy serious student kinda guy, she now thinks i'm sensitive and (WATCH THE HAMSTER: ) she now "understands how come we connected so intensely even though we just met" (referring to the period before i took her to the bedroom)
so we walk toward the bedroom door and we talk a little bit and i say to her (it's my main line - i try to be the cool guy that girls call for sex so i usually try to give them my number, inspired by brent smith look him up on youtube) "hey if you want you can shoot me a text"
and she says "yeah take down my number" so i said "uh no let's exchange numbers" and she's like "yea write down my number and call me so i have your number" so i just saved her number and made a call but it didn't connect at the time.
then i tried to make another move on her before we exit the bedroom, rejected again, i acted cool and while we got out of there i tell her "im not the type of guy to bug you on text so.." she says "great, i hate it when guys do that" and i let her have her space and didn't bug her too much. i sat on a recliner and she came and asked if "im ok" so i calmly responded "yeah why wouldn't i be" and after a while i continued on dancing and socialising
even when she approached when i was with 2 other friends i didn't show too much excitement (and certainly throughout the story not TOO much validation.)
after a while i got tired and wanted to drive home with another girl friend who was there.
so i come up to HB to say goodbye and i told her "don't worry about it, some other time" (i wanna say my "frame" was - "hey you missed out on this because of your anti-slut defenses but you still got a shot" ), hug and kiss on the cheek
so she says "are you leaving?? with whom??" so i told her other girl's name.
and she walks me to the door and gives me another hug so i say "hey we already hugged and kissed"
she: "is it not allowed to hug again?"
me: i'd say it's not socially acceptable but fine by me
then i left.
i went home feeling like a champ because i made a move on a girl who i think was REALLY hot (but not out of my league because there's no such thing guys!!!!) and managed to stay cool. (after years of not making a move on girls)
anyway because the call didn't connect she still doesn't have my number. this just happened about 1 day ago and i thought of just 2 days after that sending a text "it's fishinatot have a productive week"
failure is GOOD guys. also fear shows you the way and man when i went for the kiss the first time i was scared.
constructive criticism both on game and on writing a post welcome
excred 5y ago
I read a little too quickly and though you said you are from Israel and are a bomber. Not you’re from Israel and bombed a date.
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Thunderbird93 5y ago
Solid report. I'd say you can add this chick to your rotation. Simply text for logistics, set up a date or two and your in the glorybox
fishinatot 5y ago
confirmation bias but i think you're right.
Thunderbird93 5y ago
I know I sound hedonistic but I gotta ask. Was she drinking? I've found getting chicks drunk or high allows me to score versus simply being sober ofcourse
fishinatot 5y ago
yea i forgot to write she did some coke LOL
HumptyDumptyFellHard 5y ago
Let me just bring a HB to a bathroom because I want to show her a bathtub? Tf is that. Should have socialized with her and initiated kino when she gave you the eyes, yet you went full creep, isolated her and tried to go for a kiss when she didn’t even feel comfortable with you. Isolation is good, but only when you set up rapport beforehand. Also what you say it really off as well. “we hugged already” why would you say that, if anything that is another opportunity to make her feel comfortable with you for a next time.
fishinatot 5y ago
TBF it was a bedroom+bathroom, big space. about kino:
https://youtu.be/Z9-mEYj62lc?t=743
in other words, it's just a gauge for her liking you and it's pretty obvious to her.
i agree i should've built more rapport, but hey we learn from our mistakes.
classicverdant 5y ago
Why take her to the bathroom if the bedroom was available?
modernwhore 5y ago
You need to wash her up before you stick it in her pooper duh.
fishinatot 5y ago
the bathroom bedroom was a single space i just went to open the window and she came along so i worked with what i had
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
This guy is being too hard on you. If a girl accepts your invitation to see a bathroom, she is down for at least making out with you. You fucked up after isolating, not before. It sounds like you lost momentum, confidence, humor, etc, when she put up resistance. Be more confident and more fun about it.
Thanks for sharing with the community.
Enthusiast_new 5y ago
She was just stringing you along for validation and attention. She had plans to sleep with most valuable man. So she was surveying. She might have slept with you if you could have done this and that. Fuck it, who cares. Life is too short. Good for you that you stuck with the idea of having fun. Outcome independent.
fishinatot 5y ago
based on what? i actually think i was the most high value guy there, another guy who i know fucks tried to move on her but she wouldn't even give him any attention, and blonde told me about every lay that happened over there (only 2-3 so not hard to remember) and that guy fucked one of the other ugly girls.
if anything i was the one that got validated by her, she kept complimenting me and i maybe complimented her once (in the story)
but yeah fuck it there're tons of girls out there
JellyRev 5y ago
you could have fucked her. All it takes is hard unwavering eye contact. And a statement of intent.
I'm 5'9" not chad and I used to open with after a handshake and name exchange "I'm taking you home tonight". The trenches are won and lost in eye contact.
99% of men can't do it.
It is the end game of frame.
Frame is all, frame is life.
The longer a conversation goes the less likely you are to fug that night. Sexually charged conversation can only go on so long.
fishinatot 5y ago
i hold eye contact like a MOFO i didn't state my intent but that takes away plausible deniablity doesn't it?
JellyRev 5y ago
Why do you want plausible deniability? I've never been slapped or shot down. Sometimes I close it instantly, sometimes they lunge into a makeout, sometimes a shit test in response.
And it all depends on eye contact after the statement is said. Usually 5-10 seconds of silence as the women hamsters. They are waiting for you to take it back to break the tension. You hold and wait for their submission as they rationalize your SMV must be through the roof to attempt an insta-close. If you take it back you will become a weirdo.
It's a variation of the original apocalypse opener. the original uses a question. I changed it to a statement because a lot of women want to claim they had no agency thus are not responsible for their actions.
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
I'm asking on the OP's behalf to answer his questions about this, otherwise I am afraid he will listen to the bad advice he is getting from the incel crowd.
fishinatot 5y ago
please elaborate! what bad advice are people giving here? and what did i ask?
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
There is a pocket of this community that likes to comment on field reports with statements like "she didn't want to fuck you anyway" or "she already decided to fuck you." There are folks that use TRP principles like outcome independence or "I am the prize" as ego defense. Thinking the outcome is predetermined is both factually wrong and props up a fragile ego.
These guys are usually projecting that women care about looks the way men do. I guess if a guy has already decided he's ugly, also admitting that his personality is trash is probably a bridge too far. These guys see the ease that attractive guys have with women and tell themselves it is because of their looks; but in reality, the attractive guy's looks have just made it easier for him to cultivate that sense of ease and confidence over his lifetime. Maintaining ease and confidence is the most important thing for interacting with women.
Read the post "How to get laid like a warlord" if you haven't already.
With regard to the top comment:
The words are different, but the attitude is the same. Defeatist, blame shifting, no personal responsibility for outcomes.
Of course she wants your attention and validation - that is a woman's prime directive. She is not "stringing you along" when she angles for your attention, she is signaling that she thinks you might have value. If you give it easily and get nothing in return, it is you that has signaled your attention isn't worth much. A woman never puts a man into orbit, he puts himself there when he signals that his attention is cheap. * That is not what happened in your story, by the way, just the commenter's attempt at interpretation.
Don't ever think that attraction is predetermined. Women don't prioritize looks the way men do, they look for a variety of signals of high-value many of which come from social interaction. You generate attraction through interacting with a woman.
Your title "Happy to fail" is exactly the right attitude. Try, fail, learn, try again. Don't take anything in life personally.
fishinatot 5y ago
thank you so much for your time
of course i read get laid like a warlord every few months
Frich3 5y ago
she was seeking validation. you gave her just that. and chick that wants to fuck you knows how to accomplish said task. tired of explaining that on here over and over. "oh she did this" "she did that". if you didnt get your dick wet then she got exactly what she wanted which was attention.
fishinatot 5y ago
yeah you might be right, but in my opinion a woman can still because of her "programming" not put out on a first meeting
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
Don't listen to this guy. Women want to fuck high-quality men, and part of being high-quality is having frame, confidence, social skills, etc. Things that you have to demonstrate. You didn't maintain this level of confidence and so the interaction petered out. You demonstrated enough frame that it cultivated her interest and that may pay out later (directly or in pre-selection), so feel good about that.
fishinatot 5y ago
how could it pay out in preselection?
MrCongeniality1 5y ago
As a young guy, there are going to be a lot of times where you generated some attraction, but still failed to close due to inexperience, awkwardness, chemistry, etc.
If you maintain an "all good" attitude and don't keep going after her, she will maintain her attraction to you despite failure to close. (Remember, "they want you to win")
In social settings, this will come out just like it did with this girl wanting extra hugs before you left, she will be physically affectionate with you in public which is a powerful signal of preselection to other women.
Women also talk a lot, and if she talks about how assertive you were in a positive light, this will make its way through the grapevine.
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Sleepyknot 5y ago
It's cool seeing another Israeli swallowing the Red Pill, Been curious if there are others who browse here. Nice Field Report too, nothing is greater than knowing that youre enough to be dating hot women & that you don't need their validation.
Thunderbird93 5y ago
Not to sound racist but as a black dude you Israeli's are mad smart. I admire the intellect of guys like Haber Fritz & the business acumen of Marc Reich. R.I.P Yonatan Netanyahu
Sleepyknot 5y ago
Haha it's all good brother, sadly it's not every Israeli and I'm myself half Russian. I still envy Americans tho, I hope I'd live there one day.
Thunderbird93 5y ago
An Israeli given abit of money emigrating to the U.S? That's too easy. Got granted asylum in Massachusetts. You can easily move. You have interesting heritage. I know I'm going to get hate for saying this but the most intriguing Russian to me alongside Nikolai Kardashev has to be Lavrenty Beria. How that mathematician turned spymaster got nukes for Russia is beyond me.
fishinatot 5y ago
too smart for our own good brother
Thunderbird93 5y ago
As a Tutsi I'd say being a fellow minority is a complicated situation to be in to say the least. I'd also say as someone in exile that it leads to adaptation.
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