"Get the power back in your relationship today!" - every guru ever
I'm sure you've seen posts like this, and perhaps they had something useful, but those kinds of posts are basically a how-to guide on how to polish a stale turd. Like many quick solutions, it addresses the symptoms and not the cause.
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If you're at the point in the relationship where you need to re-gain power, then you're probably better off just letting it go. The reason is simple: You've compromised your character, perspective, believes, values, attitudes, mission for her relationship. It was never your relationship. You never had power in it. You never will.
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Instead of stomping your foot on the ground and yelling, "I'm grown" at the top of your lungs to a woman who's dying for a breath of fresh Chad anyways, you'd be better off just letting her have it. Just let her go bro. Ironically, this is the most powerful method to gain power within in the relationship: letting go of it.
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Time in time out women have tried to change my attitudes towards relationships, tried to change my perceptions, and attempted to erode my values. I can say with certainty compromising yourself is an act of submission. This process of letting your frame be broken down and replaced by hers will also break down any potential respect and attraction she could have felt towards you. It's easy to turn down this sort of power creeping, and all you have to do is not compromise yourself for pussy. If you're willing to let her go you are able to disagree with her. When you turn down her attempts to corrupt your character you bring her into your frame by demonstrating how congruent you are to your actions/beliefs. This is high value behavior. There is no real reason for you to alter your frame just because a vagina asked you to (unless you're desperate to get laid).
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So it's not that you need to get the power back, you never had it in the first place. You were always willing to let her trample over you, it's not your place to complain about your relationship dynamic if you've let her set the frame because you are the submissive. You can try to shift the dynamic, but you're better off letting her go. She lost respect for you a long time ago, taking a stand now is only going to be seen as an act of rebellion. Cut your losses and try again with someone else.
snowmoose1 5y ago
in addition to the post, if you wanna let her go but have the oneitis hindering you just bust a nut or two and you feel like you don’t care. I always had this issue but came to realization that for me and i would say most men, it’s not the fear of letting the woman go rather the fear of not having options/pussy. That’s why abundance and spinning plates while in LTR is so important cause you’ll drop her faster than she can spell Chad without a flinch.
Wildside1911 5y ago
Straight facts my guy.....straight facts
Whisper 5y ago
That got a laugh.
TunedtoPerfection 5y ago
The one with the least invested in the relationship will always have the most power, that is basically the KEY behind holding frame in a LTR. Always have options, always be willing to get up and walk away. Most importantly always ALLOW yourself those options and ALWAYS be able to act on them immediately.
It does no good "threaten" to do anything in a relationship, women do that then never act on it. If you tell her your going to be doing something, you should be already in the process of doing it.
The biggest issue men in LTR's run into is not being able to effectively "enforce a break in the relationship". You need time to yourself, you need a space to yourself and most important you need places to be where she has no fucking clue what is going on with you. Stop telling your women your entire plan for the next week every time you see them.
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Men have this horrible need to predict the future and organize everything, then inform their girlfriends on said plan, and any possible changes and situations that might arise. Men do this because they believe it will make their women feel more comfortable. They are right it does, and yes men in charge that can make the future comfortable for them is something they desire. But every time you "inform" your girlfriend of your plan your basically asking her if what you decided is okay. Stop that shit, now.
Repeat after me, "I got it covered, why don't you take care of ....".
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You don't need her approval, you figured this out and if she doesn't trust your judgement she can figure out her own way to have fun that night. This not only forces her to build trust and respect for you, it also make her want to be more feminine and enjoyable as pissing you off actually has a consequence in her mind.
bam9545 5y ago
Everything is fact with what you said. That’s why most of my relationships have been with women who’s smv has been lower than mine... it’s just easy to maintain..
But I want high smv women
In response to ur first point then, how does a man become more uninvested in the relationship?
What if he doesn’t want to put effort into multiple women because he finds most women have pretty shitty personalities?
TunedtoPerfection 5y ago
Have options.
Knowing you have the ability and skill set to replace her whenever you want goes a very long way to make you less invested. After that it just making sure she is always putting the effort, women will eventually just try to make you do all the work on the relationship. It is your ability to see this coming and remove your investment before it's to late that is key.
Most women are use to or truly think most men just fall hopelessly in love with them. Don't be this guy, don't chase her around, or fix her problems. She wants to leave at 10:30pm to go see "a friend" awesome, have fun.... don't be there when she gets back. She wants to act a fool outside da club and start up some bullshit, let her deal with it.
Be on your mission not hers, your mission is the structure in your life that everything else is planned around. Remember and live by that, and you'll never have an investment issue.
Also.... Never make getting women your mission.
bam9545 5y ago
Fuck sorry for the double follow up, but if you don’t have options, like... I’m a good looking guy, promising career, good friends etc.. I just put minimal effort into females rn. It’s really easy to lose abundance mentality... would you say then it’s better to either just start approaching tons of women or just go full monk then right
bam9545 5y ago
Solid advice my dude. It’s crazy how women literally expect men to fall for them so easy., and they do it on purpose too.. I had a girl literally start treating me like I was her boyfriend, giving you the feels being supportive etc... I started to return the investment and she gone...
My follow up question is why do they do it? Do they want to see if they can break you?
Even if your life is dope they’ll still see if they can distract you from your goals and unfortunately... especially for me, if I go through a depressive episode or start getting sad and I go to the girl that’s it I lost... which is total shit because you want to be building a support network.., I guess it’s just about time I realized that women aren’t part of it.
It’s funny cause my male friends will tell me liked, yeah a woman will support a man if she’s a good woman. TRP says however that’s not the case. Do you believe in unicorns like that? Or is it all bullshit.
TunedtoPerfection 5y ago
They expect it because it happens excessively. If you ever come across a woman who seems like she it being hesitant to even be decent to you. it's because she learned that just throwing a smile at a guy has a real possibility of having said guy "fall in love" with her.
So when women start acting all super supportive etc. It's a test. If she can get you to do what she wants and modify you goals to suit her needs by just acting "into you" so can that random army of hoes in the world. It also shows that her emotional state has an effect on your reality, that is just not acceptable honestly for you or her.
Women will support you just not the way you want her to, or think she should. The other side of the coin is a lot of men that desire this, actually want a person they can just dump an emotional load on. No one, male or female wants that or frankly should accept that.
Deal with your own shit, women are not to sort out your emotional issue or problems. That is for you and maybe a few close male friends. Women will support you in other ways most importantly they will do things to give you time to deal with said issues. Take the kids to school, pick something up for you, or sometimes just simply back off no questions asked.
Don't be like so many men before who fell in love to soon, believed attraction meant she would be an emotional dumping ground, just to end up getting ghosted seemingly for no reason. A woman "supporting" a man like most blue pill men desire is a fantasy, not even your mother would do it forever.
bam9545 5y ago
In other words do we believe the fantasies were told about women cuz it’s easy to be weak?
bam9545 5y ago
Even deeper question... why does the media lie?
bam9545 5y ago
Yeah that’s so true. Fuck man I’m loving these replies. They hurt to hear but it’s oh so true.
It’s sad you know because it’s not like I wanna dump emotional shit but some support would be nice. However, I’m way better at fixing my own problems so I shouldn’t even expect it.
I had a red pill relationship before and it was entirely as you said, she supported by doing shit. I ended it though as I thought I could do better and kinda miss the emotional aspect of it and I started talking to more blue pill guys and stuff bein like oh my girl is my best friend I tell her everything and she has my back... why does it work for them? Will some chicks just take a blue pill guy? You think it’s because their Smv is in the dumpster and this guys hotter/better than her?
Why do guys fall for it? Like I’m not a blue pill guy, I’m pretty woke. I think we’re creatures of habit though and we want to stay comfortable when we probably should be chasing new challenges and fighting for ourselves.
It’s crazy like I totally bent and she totally ran. Textbook case closed. She was totally hesitant to be decent to me. I passed those tests by amused mastery and being like haha keep it up kinda thing. But she went phase two and sent the emotional shit and I cracked.
So bottom line is that women don’t really want an emotional “real guy” they want an independent man they can support. But why can’t we have what we want? Why can’t she be an emotional tampon for me when I need it . Why do I have to be cold and aloof. It’s kinda frustrating when we’re all just fucking human and susceptible to emotions..
I caught wind of her pulling out so I ghosted and deleted her off social media and shit. I know what I was doing was unhealthy and quite frankly I’ve learned to keep more to myself from this, but is there a chance I can get her back? Even just to plate her and keep her at bay... she was pretty hot.. hahaha.
TunedtoPerfection 5y ago
Talk about this like it's some game your reacting to.
"She went phase two"...
You need to get out of that mindset first before working on other things, stop reacting to women and their emotions. The problem with TRP being tied into PUA is the mentality that holds PUA together isn't very red as it is mostly reactionary. If not it is then fishing to cause a reaction in which to then "continue the script" down the line.
The thing about faking it till you make it, especially if you get good at fake, is you have to actually work towards making it. If you just fake it for the rest of your life.
Life isn't fair and you don't always get what you want. You learn about your environment and adapt to overcome it, that's life. Life is not the fairy tale sold to you to separate your parents money, until your old enough to buy it yourself and/or for your kids.
bam9545 5y ago
Bruh we play video games it’s kinda natural but yea I get it. Thanks for the advice bro.
tempolaca 5y ago
I never considered a single critic that my LTR said to me. She complained about things, via texts that I never read mainly because she know I didn't listen to her in person and the time we were together we basically fucked all the time. She was very happy.
She ended dumping my ass one day though, citing all those things, lol.
RPSilverfox 5y ago
If you’ve been in a LTR for any amount of time chances are you’ve shown your “beta” side to her. Its why LTRs are red pill on hard mode. I’ve thought this myself many times in the 3 years I’ve been in a LTR...maybe it would be easier to break it off and start over, I’m more red pill now than ever and I can do better.
I don’t disagree with OP at all and eventually myself and every other guy in a LTR will start getting asked about marriage. What are you going to do then? Any way you slice it or dice it you can’t be red pill in a LTR forever, eventually it will end or you become Billy Beta out shopping for a ring.
SoulRedemption 5y ago
I believe the key is to look at RP & BP as behavioural rather than absolute states. If you are in a LTR you may have BP traits, but it does not mean your RP traits are not there either.
Main point in LTR is to remember that shit can go wrong, and always be ready to accept that. If you have this understanding (its easier said than done), it will help you makr decisions more easily and prepare for unwarranted outcomes.
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MobleUserNameMu 5y ago
I guess there's some spill over from the incel channel ban.