"Get the power back in your relationship today!" - every guru ever

I'm sure you've seen posts like this, and perhaps they had something useful, but those kinds of posts are basically a how-to guide on how to polish a stale turd. Like many quick solutions, it addresses the symptoms and not the cause.

​

If you're at the point in the relationship where you need to re-gain power, then you're probably better off just letting it go. The reason is simple: You've compromised your character, perspective, believes, values, attitudes, mission for her relationship. It was never your relationship. You never had power in it. You never will.

​

Instead of stomping your foot on the ground and yelling, "I'm grown" at the top of your lungs to a woman who's dying for a breath of fresh Chad anyways, you'd be better off just letting her have it. Just let her go bro. Ironically, this is the most powerful method to gain power within in the relationship: letting go of it.

​

Time in time out women have tried to change my attitudes towards relationships, tried to change my perceptions, and attempted to erode my values. I can say with certainty compromising yourself is an act of submission. This process of letting your frame be broken down and replaced by hers will also break down any potential respect and attraction she could have felt towards you. It's easy to turn down this sort of power creeping, and all you have to do is not compromise yourself for pussy. If you're willing to let her go you are able to disagree with her. When you turn down her attempts to corrupt your character you bring her into your frame by demonstrating how congruent you are to your actions/beliefs. This is high value behavior. There is no real reason for you to alter your frame just because a vagina asked you to (unless you're desperate to get laid).

​

So it's not that you need to get the power back, you never had it in the first place. You were always willing to let her trample over you, it's not your place to complain about your relationship dynamic if you've let her set the frame because you are the submissive. You can try to shift the dynamic, but you're better off letting her go. She lost respect for you a long time ago, taking a stand now is only going to be seen as an act of rebellion. Cut your losses and try again with someone else.