Why?
Why do obese people keep eating like crap, when they’re in danger of dying early?
Why would someone with lung problems smoke another pack of cigs?
Why would you chronically masturbate, obsessively play video games, stay in a dead-end job, or procrastinate on things?
The Habit Loop
Cue -> Routine -> Reward -> Repeat
It’s simple to understand when you break it down, but that doesn’t mean it’s simple to change. To illustrate, here was one my bad habit loops I changed:
Cue
When I’d wake up in the morning, I’d grab my phone to turn off my alarms/get on social media/ mindlessly scroll around. Sometimes 15 minutes and sometimes more than an hour. I’d show up late to things for no real reason. It was a habit, and a hard one to break. It’s so easy to unlock my phone and just scroll.
Response /Routine
Routine was my action or response to the craving. Wake up, have urge to scroll, start scrolling. Easy to see. Here is the hard part to figure out; WHY do you do this routine? This wasn’t clear (not to me anyways). Why would I waste time to the point of it affecting me? This required some experimenting to answer.
Reward
We’re beings that are driven by our neurological systems and the chemicals ours brains produce (serotonin, dopamine, norepinephrine). Sure, I’d get a dopamine surge from being on my phone. But it wasn’t like the surge of having an orgasm or eating greasy food. But my problem wasn’t masturbation or eating like shit. Spending too much time on my phone was, and it didn’t even feel good like an orgasm does.
So, then I start my experiment. I know dopamine isn’t the culprit. Maybe my phone is too accessible to me? Nope. Didn’t help to put it across my room. Put my phone in grayscale? Nahhh. Delete social media apps? No help, I’m scrolling through emails for fun.
Luckily, this experiment didn’t take me long to figure out. I figured my craving is to do something stimulating when I wake up, NOT just to scroll through my phone. It helps me wake up and gets my day started. The problem was that my response to this craving was TOO stimulating and stole too much time. My new response and reward: stimulate my brain in a productive way so I wake up in the morning.
Here’s my new routine:
Cue: Wake up and STAND UP.
Response: Now standing, I feel I must do something. I found setting up bright lights, making my bed, a quick clean, and a hot shower work for me. Done with trial and error by doing different routines and seeing how rewarded I felt. The trick is to find a routine that prevents you from falling into the old habit. Jotting stuff down helps when experimenting.
Reward: Stimulating can be good but stay away from overstimulation. Reading books wasn’t good; I’d get sucked in and waste time. It was TOO rewarding. Bright lights indicate it is time to wake up, cleaning and making my bed builds momentum in my day, and taking a hot shower feels better than being in bed while allowing me to think and plan my day for a few minutes. All of these are rewarding to me.
This is the habit loop and it explains why it’s SO hard to stop bad habits. But there’s good news: Habits are POWERFUL and can be learned or changed.
If you want to quit a bad habit, it’s not hard if you follow the habit loop. It just takes time.
Think about your cue. What craving does it trigger? Change your response to this craving by using your brains reward system. Make sure your new response is rewarding. Deleting social media, gray scaling my phone, and putting it farther away didn’t work because it wasn’t rewarding. My new morning routine is because if I don’t get as much accomplished as I wanted by the end of the day, at least I made my bed and cleaned my room.
DO NOT try to make too many habit changes at once. The people who fail at changing bad habits try to change too much at once. It can be overwhelming or unsustainable for long term change. Instead, aim for small and consistent changes.
Start with bad habits that need to be changed ASAP and work in baby steps, one at a time. Write these down in order of most needing change to least. Here’s a few quick examples:
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If you’re a smoker, slowly reduce the number of cigs you smoke. Figure out your cue (stress?), craving (stress relief), and change your response to a rewarding one (music, food, etc.). There are lots of supplements out there to help.
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If you’re obese, change your eating habits by getting rid of foods one by one. What food doesn’t even taste good, but you still eat it? When I was overweight, that was fast-food. I was eating for the convenience and not the taste. Meal prepping was a game changer.
- Procrastinating is a bad habit I still struggle with. Why? I figured its because I hate that task I must do. Sometimes, so much, that I procrastinate by doing other things I don’t hate as much (washing dishes, etc). I partially get over this by simply getting started (cue). Even if I tell myself I’ll only work for 10 minutes, that cue is usually long enough that I’ll keep working.
Habits are powerful
Your brain has willpower that works like a muscle. Willpower is the control you have to do or NOT to do something. Do you have the willpower to lay off video games, eating pizza, and overindulging? Do you have the willpower to work out, study, and go to sleep early?
The daily decisions you make (studying, reading, practicing self-control) lower your willpower. This explains why you have the willpower to make some positive changes in your life, but not all the ones you need. It also explains why some tasks lower your willpower quicker than others. For example, studying calculus for an hour may drain you more than 2 hours of watching a movie. Similar to working out, lifting heavier weights may tire you more than lighter ones.
Neurologists have made HUGE strides in studying habits. According to the book The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, habits lower the amount of willpower it takes to accomplish a task. In a lab experiment done with rats, sensors are strapped on a rat to monitor neurological activity as a rat is put in a maze to find chocolate. After monitoring the rat through 150 iterations, the research found that repeating the maze so many times lowered the neurological activity in the rats.
In fact, the habit of the rat going through the maze to find the chocolate lowered neurological activity so much, the rat had the same neurological activity as if it were sleeping! Waking up and brushing your teeth has probably become such a habit, you’re neurological levels look similar to that of the rat in the experiment.
Why do we care?
Utilizing this idea is POWERFUL and can be absolutely life changing. It shows that you can get yourself out of a rut and back onto the path you want to be on. I’ve personally gotten stuck a few times and I know that doing anything feels draining and tiring during these times.
The key to create these good habits is to repeatedly do activities, even if you DON’T want to. Doing something half assed is better than not doing it AT ALL. The sole reason is to build the habit to the point that you can do it so effortlessly, you might as well be sleeping, like a rat going through a maze for the 150th time to find chocolate.
If you’re interested in watching a more detailed analysis, look up the Tedx Talk called The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg on YouTube or give his book a read.
tooproforaname 5y ago
Thanks for this, excellent post.
tunsku 5y ago
only problem with this post:
try a cold shower in the morning instead.
lunaluis 5y ago
The trick for replacing routines is replacing them with new rewarding routines. If the replacement routine isn’t rewarding, you won’t stick with it.
Cold showers have benefits but I feel there’s a time and place for them.
Hot showers are my replacement routine for being on my phone, it lets me think and plan for a bit. Cold showers just make me think “damn it’s so cold” rather than planning.
tunsku 5y ago
Hmm sure do as you like. I just feel like hot shower is the shut-down and meditation form, and cold showers are better at waking me up.
FKaroundNfindOUT 5y ago
I just finished reading "the power of habits" and everything you wrote lines up (the book goes much deeper than your personal habits though. I highly recommend it.)
Good shit.
lunaluis 5y ago
Yup, highly recommend the audiobook if you’re lazy to read or commute a lot.
Totally forgot to cover the concept of keystone habits.
The book goes in depth about this concept and gives excellent examples on how keystone habits have changed peoples lives and made companies climb to the top in their respective fields!
One of the best books I’ve ever read.
chocolatex 5y ago
Check out Atomic Habits by Jamea Clear. Builds on Duhiggs work but is more practical for me and you.
[deleted] 5y ago
Nota: Psychologists have adjusted previous beliefs about habit-forming from taking 30 days to more like 45-60 days.
Just like a popular post (I’m forgetting whose) promoted learning how to learn, this is a much broader scope about how to modify your own behavior.
It’s llike learning how to be a dog trainer - but your higher cognizance is the trainer, and the rest of you is the dog.
For all those who ask about approach anxiety - just do it until you’re a rat sleepwalking through a maze.
And one thing that never goes away: because you’re designed for homeostasis, efficiency that modulates under duress - forming any new habit should FUCKING BLOW at first if you’re doing it properly (except for a fucking blow habit, so turn your nose up from that).
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mmishu 5y ago
Can u explain “efficiency that modulates under duress”
[deleted] 5y ago
"If homeostasis is successful, life continues; if unsuccessful, disaster or death ensues."
We're designed to stabilize under distress. Truck through the uncomfortable feeling of forming a new habit and it'll eventually feel like second nature.
[deleted] 5y ago
O-ho, it looks like class is in session. Well-put. Thank you both. One for being willing to ask a question and learn something new, and two for helping to clarify with solid explanation.
disciplined91 5y ago
Great post OP. I can really relate with this article and have had many up and down moments due to not staying true to my habits.
"The key to create these good habits is to repeatedly do activities, even if you DON’T want to. Doing something half assed is better than not doing it AT ALL. The sole reason is to build the habit to the point that you can do it so effortlessly, you might as well be sleeping, like a rat going through a maze for the 150th time to find chocolate."
My question to you is, how do you personally just keep on pushing forward even when you don't feel like doing your habits? Is there something specific that you do which keeps you moving forward?
​
lunaluis 5y ago
Great question and I’m glad you asked! I’d been wondering myself so I’m going to work on a post that dives into this deeper.
The best way to answer is by looking at the concept of self discipline. There’s a lot of components that go into self discipline so I’m going to make a separate post where I’ll analyze the most important of these.
One of the most important components is the idea of self identity. Your sense of self identity is actually a really powerful tool, yet it’s not something many people think about.
A simple example.
I never smoke weed and I’m indifferent to it. When I looked at the idea of self identity though, I discovered something else: I don’t smoke weed because anytime I’m offered, I tell myself and anyone else around me, “No thanks, I’m not a smoker” This is what self identity is about.
The book Atomic Habits covers part of this. It’s a great place to start if you want to delve into the science of discipline and building habits that actually stick.
disciplined91 5y ago
I'll be waiting for that article lol. Yea man just a couple weeks back, I was on such a hot streak and doing all my habits and then boom I start to feel a bit impatient and just the smallest of circumstances brought me down and I used it as an excuse.
​
I think considering what you said about self identity, I'm going to identify myself as someone who is persistent and will push through all barriers to become the best version of myself and write that in my journal.
lunaluis 5y ago
That’s a really good place to start! Last year, I was a terrible student and did horribly in all my classes. I was going through what you describe. I’d productively procrastinate by weightlifting, sleeping, and reading. Always saying, “eh I’m late to class, I’m not going” or some other excuse.
This year, I fell off weightlifting but I’m a good student and about to graduate with my engineering degree. When studying with classmates, they’re surprised at how I’m ahead in classes. When they ask me, I say ”I’m a good student this year” and that has had profound effects.
I struggle with prioritizing. I wanna get back in the gym, but always my self identity comes out and I say “I’ll go tomorrow, I’m going to be a good student today. “ I plan on making a list of most important to least important habits.
This is where other parts of self discipline will really help get you out of a loop.
Unnormally2 5y ago
Thank you. This is one of my biggest problems. Procrastination, bad routines, etc. I'm in the process of changing my habits right now, and yea, it's really difficult. I'll take some of what you did, to start, and work on improving my morning routine. I tell myself every night that I'm going to do things differently, but when I wake up, I'm a zombie. I know I want to do something else, but I still fall into the same habits, because of any number of excuses I give myself.
lunaluis 5y ago
Another additional thing covered in the book that I didn’t cover in the post is the concept of “keystone” habits.
These habits are similar to the domino or snowball effect and I highly recommend reading the book to learn more about them. You can listen to the audiobook if you’re lazy like me.
Basically, there was research done that building NEW habits can be more powerful than changing old ones. The reason is because it sparks a domino effect that creates many small, positive, and consistent changes in your life.
An example: people who begin tracking their spending and start budgeting report seeing increased discipline and positive changes in many areas of their life. They’re more aware of where their money is going so they become more conscious of the decisions they make and begin to value their time more.
In the book, patients who wanted to lose weight were given one simple habit to start: write down what they ate everyday in a journal and give the entries to their doctor. The people who did this simple act began to lose weight and made healthier choices than the people who forgot to log their meals.
Maybe begin to look at keystone habits that have changed your life before and try to reimplement them again. For me personally, that was weightlifting.
Hyper_Sonik 5y ago
You're not in the process. You're a perfect example of my comment. I bet you haven't even done 10 percent of what it takes to achieve what you aiming for. Try meditating.
Unnormally2 5y ago
Perhaps not. I'm working out, but I haven't gotten the results I want yet. I'm going to get a trainer at the gym to help me rework my stale routine. And as for my goals for women... well you got me there.
What is meditating supposed to achieve?
lunaluis 5y ago
Someone linked a video down below in the comments, you should watch it! The video describes the benefits and importance of meditating.
NoOneMatters 5y ago
Awareness of actions in your everyday life. Being present/mindful is an easy way to catch yourself in a bad action/habit.
Unnormally2 5y ago
How am I supposed to meditate? At a specific time of day? Or just when I think I need more awareness or focus?
CoarseAnus 5y ago
I would recommend the morning. Download the headspace app for some short, 10-15 minute guided meditation tracks. I'm on day 24 and it's had a significant impact on my mood and overall mindset.
new__vision 5y ago
Another great book on this in addition to "The Power of Habit" is "Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results" by James Clear. He has some powerful ideas on the role of identity and self-image in habit-building.
lunaluis 5y ago
I will have to give that one a go! I think the power of habit covers this concept but they call this concept “keystone” habits.
Either way, these are life changing and profound concepts everyone should learn about for lifelong self improvement.
ngKindaGuy 5y ago
One thing I like to utilize is a mobile app called (Loop) Habit Tracker. At the end of each day, I open the app and put a check next to any habits I've followed through with that day. Some habits I track include following diet, lifting, practicing piano, watching less than an hour of tv, flossing teeth, etc. The simple act of inputting my habit success into this app gives me a boost of dopamine and furthermore allows me to find patterns in my habit behavior.
lunaluis 5y ago
That’s a good idea! I love bullet journaling, but always forget to so I’ll give this a try instead.
PIQAS 5y ago
This video adds up perfectly to this topic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7KQsS2kLM4 even completes it
Necrocystic 5y ago
Smoking for about 8 years. I tried vaping for some time and it led me back to smoking after realizing how ridiculous it was. I have however been smoking less and less while also just buying them individually. Started tracking on an app how much money was being funnelled to the habit as well.
On the 14th of december I quit smoking cold turkey. First two days were difficult but after that it was easy. A few times while drinking the urge popped back up when "friends" offered, but didn't fall for it.
What really helped was a little podcast bit where Bill Burr adressed a viewers question on how to quit. He talked about how he never got into it and why. What also helped was the realization that quiting is as easy as not lighting the next one up. Most helpful aid was focusing more on exercise; running and the three big lifts.
On another note, I got rid of the snoozing when waking up. It's terrible. When you first wake up you should get out of bed instead of hitting snooze and dozing off for a few more minutes. You sleep in cycles and when the cycle is over you're awake and alert. If you don't wake you will go in another cycle. When you hit snooze, you'll wake up mid cycle and be groggy and tired.
Tldr;
Just don't light up the next one. Watch bill burr's response on why he never started smoking on youtube, lift/cardio. Actually track how much money goes into smoking.
lunaluis 5y ago
I read about someone who cut out smoking a lot easier by ingraining it into their self identity.
When the person quit, they said ”I’m not a smoker” rather than saying “I’m trying to quit.” I believe this is what Bill Burr is doing when he talks about it.
And I agree, much of it is psychological once we change our perspective of it.
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DalanSAO 5y ago
nice post, i've always felt the same way. i know exactly what to do but i can't or don't. it goes much deeper than just bad habits. sometimes fear and doubt get in the way of doing what you have to do. it's about building your confidence little by little through micro-routines until you are ready to tackle your bigger problem zones.
lunaluis 5y ago
You’re absolutely right, what you just described is another concept I want to go over in a future post. Thats the concept of “Small wins.”
You do the small and easy things to build momentum and confidence and then you go for the hard things.
Making my bed, spot cleaning my room, and getting ready for the day are all small wins for me. Without these, I wouldn’t know where to start.
Hyper_Sonik 5y ago
These people are the worst, but make the best of a "bad example". They're the ones who you give advice to and respond with "I'll TRY to do x" "Ill do x" " I want to be _" "from now on I'll ___"
They explicate instead of demonstrate.
lunaluis 5y ago
You have to learn to walk before you can run.
Building habits isn’t an over night process and it’s VERY hard to build even 5 habits at once.
You need to pick and choose most important to least important. It really depends on someones circumstances. For me that is:
This is going to change for me pretty soon with weightlifting and exercise being first.
[deleted]
Halitenina 5y ago
As one report put it: do not announce you are a woman.
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IvanReilly 5y ago
I find the best thing to do when I wake up is shower and then bake some bread.
lunaluis 5y ago
Whatever works for you is the best thing to do! Just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean it will for you.
Someone suggested I take cold showers instead but that doesn’t work for me.
IvanReilly 5y ago
For me cooking is basically life. I need to cook to feel human.
Its ultimately just about doing something that isn't on your phone
lunaluis 5y ago
I love cooking as well. When I’m on my phone, time passes so quickly, I don’t even realize it.
Cooking really doesn’t take that long so I’ve been telling myself that it’ll take less time to cook a meal than browse reddit the amount of time that I used to do.
IvanReilly 5y ago
Added benefit of being cheaper and generally healthier