There is zero benefit as a man to show vulnerable emotions or show any kind of weakness to anyone.
If they express their insecurities or daily worries to their wife/GF, then they're seen as weak and can't handle their own emotional baggage. Or they're seen as whiny or stressed out and that makes them stressed out. Men are expected to be rocks in relationships and women don't want to be in a long term relationship with someone who is not steady.
If at work, and seem overwhelmed all the time or emotional they are not leadership material and people won't want to work with them.
When they are with their guy friends and they are playfully ripping on each other, they have to play along and not take things personally or they'll be seen as a bitch/pussy.
Society is more sympathetic towards women in general. If a woman is feeling depressed, sad insecure, there will be an army of people ready to build her up and listen to her. Men are expected to build themselves up.
In no aspect of life is it benefitial for them to express their feelings as men. These are the expectations that have been placed on men by society.
potatorockstar 5y ago
agreed. well you can choose to go against that. but be prepared to live as an isolated, impoverished idealist writer.
St_Eroid 5y ago
It's like if you are a 9 year old and your parents told you they had financial problems that they cant handle. Your percieved invincible safety from your parents is now questionable and you cant do shit to help them. How doesn that make you feel? Well thats how women feel when their man shows that he is vulnerable. Keep that shit to yourself.
Lambdal7 5y ago
If you never show feelings, you’ll always have to live a fake life. That’s the beta way.
Instead, find work places and women that love you being authentic, human and vulnerable and own being human. Only bad work places and insecure women are put off by vulnerability.
Confident women and work places actively look for men who aren’t scared to be vulnerable and directly aee as men who aren’t showing any weakness as fake.
BumblingBeta 5y ago
No, you've got it wrong - men can show emotion, but they must not show weak/feminine emotions.
newacc4newlife 5y ago
Even if it was ok for men to let our emotions out, would we, the ones striving to be our best selves, do it?
Zech4riah 5y ago
This binary thinking after finding TRP made me to fuck up couple of relationships because girls couldn't relate to me. I was already too stoic and didn't share any weaknesses which didn't make me relatable.
So once again. You need to be relatable and sometimes it requires sharing something emotional/negative about yourself in non whiny way.
In this form, without any disclaimers, this post will probably fuck up relationships for some guys but they will learn that too much is too much.
AGUIDETORICHLIFE 5y ago
We men are strong and purpose driven, we don't need sympathies from the society, we are positive, we are strong, we are motivated , we are the pillars of the society. The only thing men should emotionally attach themselves is their purpose, rest is side kicks in our lives!
[deleted] 5y ago
is any of this really news?
ebaymasochist 5y ago
Men were trained not to have emotions so they could be lead into battle instead of trusting their instincts of self preservation. Notice that anger, rage, vengeance, etc. are all acceptable in this stereotype of the strong male. What is our reward for not listening to our feelings? PTSD, depression, anxiety, high blood pressure, heart disease, insomnia... And maybe you get laid, but not as much as an R&B singer. Who expresses more emotion? Or does a certain amount of fame/money/status let you get away with it? Well if that's the case then it's not really an issue. It sounds like confidence is the issue.
Your feelings are your instincts, and they exist for a reason. Men who have low emotional intelligence are most likely to end up in prison for violent crimes, or commit suicide.
Low emotional intelligence means not knowing when you are angry or stressed out, and not being able to control that state. The right combination of anger, stress, confusion, fear, hopelessness, leads to acting impulsively. If you observe criminals in interrogations and trials, you will notice a lot of them say they lost control of themselves.
Being in touch with your feelings is part of being a leader, because if you are ignoring your own emotions, you are ignoring those of everyone else as well. If you are only ignoring your own, then you are putting everyone else above yourself, which is self destructive. If you are only aware of your own, and no one else's, people will act selfishly and not as a group. Humans may follow sociopaths and psychopaths because they are good at faking positive emotions but only act on anger, but it has lead to destruction and chaos many times throughout history. The best leaders know exactly how they are feeling, and they are much better than average, at changing these feelings towards positive ones.
​
You need to be in touch with your feelings, because we are not machines, and we have feelings that need to be dealt with. What is most important is knowing that our feelings do not have to control us. We don't have to be angry all day over something stupid. We can control our feelings without blocking them entirely. People have given themselves excuses for being miserable, and that is the weakness. Don't let shit bother you forever. Confidence is still the most important thing. If you can still be confident while expressing your feelings, then you're fine. If you cried and then felt like a little bitch for crying and lose all confidence, and then act weird about it for a month, that's the problem. If you cried a little bit and then thought you had to hold it back and then you're still feeling like shit but can't deal with that, it's going to drag you down.
Have feelings, have passion in life. Know who you are and how you feel, and take ownership of that part of you. Learn to know what you feel and how to control it, how to guide yourself to feel better. Self mastery is a huge turn on.
Yoshiiiiiiiiii10 5y ago
The only perspective worth noting on this thread.
Brutal13 5y ago
Good points. Our emotions are sensors, we need to use them accordingly.
Being sensitive is equally important being reasonable. Trust your guts, fellow-redpillers
PerplexingPegasus_ 5y ago
This is probably the best definition of stoicism I’ve seen on this sub. If anything, this alone can be a post about it.
SKRedPill 5y ago
There is a point that no one covers - it's that men's gestures of emotion are far more subtle, but the very subtlety in fact makes them much more powerful. A man's emotions get more powerful the more subtle they become. Men become more powerful the less reactive and more proactive they are. A man's silence can be more powerful than a woman's tears.
Actually getting too emotional and solipsistic is a sign of a big ego. That makes a man unattractive. It takes him out of being in the moment, his creative energies stuck.
The best example of this is Apollo 13, the Real Story : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69LDSL-9--g
The movie likes to show management and the astronauts as emotional and furious and losing their shit from time to time for the sake of impact, whereas in real life it was their cool as ice policy that brought them back home with emergency after emergency and every chance something might not work at the last minute. One can see how little emotion is actually way more powerful than losing control over them.
You think a whiny cry baby "in touch with his feminine side" who thinks that only feelings matter could have landed on the moon or handled a situation like this?
Guys, if you get overwhelmed, you have a nothing box built in to your brain - it's an internal man cave, designed to detach you from the craziness of your mind. Meditate and learn to use it.
omega_dawg93 5y ago
you guys are all robots. you can cry, state how you feel, talk about your dreams, fears, insecurities, etc. to a woman... there's nothing wrong with any of that!!!
just make sure the woman is your mom and that no one else can see, hear, or learn about that discussion.
DO NOT DO THIS WITH ANY OTHER WOMAN WALKING ON THIS PLANET.
when the talk is over, kiss mom goodbye, hit dem streets... approach approach and approach... re-group to stoic bad-ass and slay some pussy.
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Some of you know I'm (for some fucking reason) in an LTR. And it's not all bad. In fact, we have some truly great times, honest.
But the past month was rough. She worked a lot. I did too. New year, busy careers.
At first, I tried in early February to talk to her. Express concern about a lack of time together. See if we could mutually find things to do together and how I could accommodate her desire for closeness.
Boom. Instant, hard shutdown. I could literally see her eyes glaze over as they dropped back to her tablet.
Ok. No problem.
Approach Plan B: hands off.
Did my own thing. With confidence and aplomb. Didnt ask how she wanted to spend time. What she wanted to do. Didnt make any especial effort to make myself available.
I increased gym time. Casually mentioned going for coffee with the guys at work (where the managing barista has a thing for me). At home, I read, watched my shows and did my own thing. When she occasionally asked if something was wrong, i said no, I'm good, thanks - no whining, no huffy voice-just a solid, confident No.
This lasted a week. Last night she was on me like white on rice on a paper plate in a snowstorm, to borrow a movie phrase. And the sex was amazing. She was working for that fucking.
Just do you. In your frame. You want to bitch? Talk to guy friends. Or family. Not your girl. Not your plates. It works.
iloveturks 5y ago
Why would you stay in a relationship with a woman whose eyes glaze over and contines to read her iPad when you raise (i’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say in a non-needy way) the topic of spending more time together?
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
It was the way I went about it, that caused the glaze over. I was basically asking her how we should fix the issue. That is...not the approach the take.
When I switched to comfortably doing my own thing, and making plans then inviting her along, she was...more than responsive, lets say.
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
why do you care about not spending time together?
NorthEasternNomad 5y ago
Exactly. Lessons learned.
I was never very interested in an LTR, so a lot of this stuff, I am learning for the first time.
Most of the time, I actually prefer doing my own thing. Now I tend to make plans and invite, as opposed to consult her about them. And she likes it more that way, judging by response.
maverick9759 5y ago
" what were you feeling when you were out there killing people ? "
" Recoil."
oooKenshiooo 5y ago
I disagree.
You actually HAVE to be in touch with your feelings in order to handle them properly. You need to know every shitty emotion inside of you, every hurt piece of ego. You may need to mourne and cry in order to heal.
However: You relationship is NOT a therapy session. You emotional baggage has no place there. You need to fix yourself elsewhere.
If you can not handle your emotions at the moment, you withdraw from her. Just say "I need some time, I'll fill you in when I am done with it.." If she is the type of girl who values guys who have their shit together, she will like you even more.
TheStumblingWolf 5y ago
I consider it a shittest. I see it as instrumental to be in touch with your feelings, but women want you to be so the way they are. For me, the more I'm in touch with my feelings the more stoic I become.
They want us to be their rock, but they also want us to be in touch with our feelings. My theory is this: they want us to be their rock so they have something to look up to, but wanting us to be in touch with our feelings their way is because they also have a human need to be validated in the way they handle their emotions. So the first is something they look up to, while the latter is something they mirror themselves in. That's why I consider it a shittest. I don't think women are attracted someone who's like them - that's why we talk about polarity in TRP.
hazelstein 5y ago
"They.. they .. they"
fuck them. and Enjoy your life. If a bitch stay with you 5 years to pussy or beta you up then she will stay 5 years to enjoy your pussy up-ed stated. DONT GIVE UP and DONT GIVE IN.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Only for the purposes of beta exploitation. They need your weakness to figure out how to get your resources, even though it's unattractive.
BobbyPeru 5y ago
Straight out of “Practical Female Psychology for the Practical Man.”
alifaraz21 5y ago
another reason they ask for in-touch behaviour is that they want men who understand feelings and emotions, positive and negative both, so that they can whine to these men all day long wihtout gettin a withdrawn or a confused look. Many men do this as they simply do not understand emotions the same way as women or at all in some cases.
So in pursuit of the suppresion of emotional expression one must not let go of his emotions completely. There are plenty of ways to address your dark and negative emotions, just don't do it with women. Self help, meditation heck even sensible male friends. So really, women want men who understand feelings so that they can unload their burden on these men and be satisfied with their reactions.
Any stoic or mentally strong person must come to terms with his dark emotions, rather then letting them go or suprresing them, in this state he is the best match for a woman. A person who understands emotions, helps others come to term with theirs but is never overpowered by his own.
TLDR:.. "We want men who are in-touch with their feelings" = "We want men who understand emotions, so that they we can unload on them, but they shouldnt express their own.. ever!
omega_dawg93 5y ago
... and it's true and very practical
pootaboo 5y ago
I agree with your point, but if you “get in touch with your feelings” at the right time and oh so carefully, you can flip the script in your favor.
She’ll perceive it as she’s “seen his soft side/exclusive only for her” and temporarily will induce BIG tingles.
New RP members shouldn’t attempt this and realistically you can only use it once (maybe twice if you’re stretching it). Any signs of real weakness and that light switch is off before she can stand up to reach it.
papunigga031 5y ago
I agree. This requires experience and a very good ability to read women, but doing this correctly makes them obsessed with you.
Do it wrong and she will lose attraction. You have to make her earn it.
Red-Lantern 5y ago
At the moment, yes but just wait. That will be the first thing used against you at her discretion and twisted.
good_guy_submitter 5y ago
This is largely because women are all very insecure. Even the most confident woman in the world is very insecure. Almost always it is about her looks, unless she is fat and has just given up.
Trying to make her feel better about her insecurity has zero benefit to you. It also doesn't benefit her. You can however make her feel better by fucking her and providing a masculine presence and interest. Semen also contains cortisol so make sure she gets plenty of yours in her diet/body one way or another as that helps with her mental state
I've met a few ham planets that have given up and they are the most miserable people in the world to be around.
papunigga031 5y ago
Locking down an alpha is part of their biological imperative. Women want two things
1) Alpha genes 2) Commitment/a provider
When you give them a slight taste of #2 (your soft side) while constantly exhibiting #1, it can make them obsessed with you and earning your commitment (which you will obviously never give).
Being alpha all the time will work for only so long with plates. If you want to stop them from breaking, or at least extend their duration, this is a good way to do so.
Women have a primal-driven fantasy of locking down the alpha that every girl wants but only she can get. When you play to this fantasy correctly, it makes women obsessed with you.
HOWEVER, do it wrong and she will lose attraction. This is a risky move so it must be done sparingly and correctly.
p3n1x 5y ago
It also generates cataclysmic drama, their subconscious doesn't handle dark triad tactics very well.
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KeffirLime 5y ago
"Tell me how you feel" "Let it out" is beta bait.
A woman hates nothing more than being uncertain about a man, she wants comfort.
She will spend large portions of your relationships trying to lure you into the comfort of betadom.
Shit like "don't go out with your friends" "stop talking to that girl" "tell me how you feel about you"
The moment you comply, you cement yourself as a beta in her eyes and her attraction begins to dwindle.
Unrealenting 5y ago
Exactly this. Emotions are valuable to a woman only because they can use them to exploit you and manipulate your logic. They offer little more than a rope she can use to climb into your mind and twist your thoughts around depending on and valuing her so she can become integrated into your identity and manipulate your instincts of self-preservation to include her own protection. They can be ruthless psychological warriors in the same way men can be physical warriors.
This is also why sex is the single greatest tool a woman has in her arsenal. The emotions it releases in your mind can completely destroy your logical brain because it’s so integral to your genetic survival and releases enormous amounts of feel good emotions. She can use it to train you like a dog, where the bell is giving her your protection, value, and attention in exchange for making you salivate over the prospect of using her as a gateway for these sexually initialized emotions. She doesn’t even have to have sex with you, just the possibility of sex is enough to get you to salivate like a dog and do tricks, and she knows it.
22oregon22 5y ago
Well written mate. You put into words what I couldn’t the other day when I was trying to explain to someone why opening up emotionally to a woman is the worst possible thing you could do.
Unrealenting 5y ago
That being said, emotions AREN’T a bad thing. You can use them to flip the script on her and get her hooked on you.
This is most easily done by rewarding her with good emotions by giving her attention or value/time when she fits your frame and neutral to negative emotions by taking away attention or value/time when she doesn’t or when you want to pull her further into your frame.
For example:
Bait—challenge her: “Go tell your boyfriend I’ll take it from here.”
Hook—she DHVs for you: “I don’t have one.”
Reel—give her an SOI: “Even Better...”
Release—false disqualifier: “...too bad you’re too much of a good girl for me.”
This will pull her further into your frame and make her want to demonstrate her value to you.
Another example:
Bait—give her a compliance test: “Let’s go back to your place.”
Hook—FAILURE; she defies: “No.”
Release—give her an IOD: “Fine, I guess I’ll ask your cute friend instead.”
This will also pull her further into your frame by demonstrating that your value is above hers by not shifting your frame to show her a scarcity mentality.
The goal isn’t to have no emotions, but to control your emotions so she doesn’t get the upperhand. The moment she does you’ve already lost her and should toss the relationship and try with another girl. If you show no emotions at all you won’t give her an opportunity to demonstrate value to you or, when she does, she won’t do it again in the future because you didn’t reward her for doing so.
It’s honestly really no different than training a dog. The moment your dog gets a toy it’ll take it away and hide it, but if you take the toy away as soon as it bites, it will jump at it. If the dog doesn’t want to play with the toy you play with another dog and take the toy with you. Poof, suddenly the dog will chase after you in a jealous fit of envy. This is also why spinning multiple plates and having an abundance mentality are so critical, you need the option to walk away ALWAYS at your fingertips for pick up.
The main key is to never show any scarcity mentality and to never, ever, ever take anything she does or says seriously, never lose your emotional cool by getting angry, pleading, or servile.
unn4med 5y ago
Too complicated bro Started off good
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aherrns 5y ago
A hard-on is the closest to a feeling I have.
Mangasbzo7 5y ago
You can have feelings.
The only feelings I have are hate and greed. You would be surprised how much you can achieve with just hate fuelling you.
Greed is just a bonus really.
aherrns 5y ago
When I was in the process of divorcing after being cheated, I couldn't believe myself being able to get up at 4.30 to train, come rain or snow. Then I realized it was pure hate.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
Yep. The people who act as if the 'Anger Phase' is something to be got over don't realize that Anger is a fuel, and a blamed good one at that.
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MarcosDomingues 5y ago
Gonna use this one from now on
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KORB4311 5y ago
The truth shall set you free.
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Shulk-X 5y ago
There's still a way for a man to express themself - it's an art. Draw your emotion, make a music with it, build a lego or anything. It's productive and really usefull way to express feelings. This is such a great thing, i don't know why that isn't in sidebar yet.
redpillcad 5y ago
Crying and whining are ways humans ask for help.
Men aren't supposed to do this because they are supposed to be strong and sufficient
hazelstein 5y ago
MEN are the Leaders of the society. and these beta fucktards are giving "MEN'S RIGHT"for the pussy.
EdvardMunch 5y ago
I got a lot like this smoking weed. Why the connection of high THC being a product of very highly sexually frustrated female plants is not talked about more i'm not sure. Through many scientific sites it seems research has been done to show it causing spikes in things like cortisol and I believe estrogen, with temporary spikes of testosterone. Anyway the point seems to be it causes hormonal and thereby emotional issues I assume.
If I experienced anything at all of what some women go through holy shit. When your emotions tell you you're right or the drive to be right in the face of all logic and reason it's like the bitching of a small child. I felt some of this, and despite my best judgment it's hard as hell to fight. I think many women deal with this and it's unfortunate for them but it's kind of just how it is. Maybe it's about acceptance of the role of femininity. For as I see it the most sane/reasonable/happy women are feminine women fine with doing girly things and taking care of people.
It got me to thinking when I was an emotional wreck all I wanted was people who were calm and collected to say it's fine as reasonable arguments didn't really do the trick. So in some small way I feel smoking weed confirmed TRP for me in a new way.
EternalDisciple 5y ago
yes, interesting connection, highly sexually frustrated plant, reminds me of me while im high on weed
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KORB4311 5y ago
This is incredibly interesting... I'm going to read up on this concept. Thanks for putting this idea out there.
rockyp32 5y ago
I agree but even great men can succumb to that sometimes.. what then?
zyqkvx 5y ago
Do it privately. You aren't 'hiding it.' You are not exposing your hand.
rockyp32 5y ago
A male animal out I nathre wouldn’t hide it they’d express it right then and there
Red-Lantern 5y ago
Ask for help in specific situations without bitching. Explain what you're trying to accomplish and how. Make it a mission and take charge or defer as needed. You still control the frame.
dgillz 5y ago
There is nothing wrong with asking for help, just don't be a whining, sniveling bitch about it.
And ask another man, not a woman or a wannabe man who thinks he's a man just because there happens to be a penis between his legs.
[deleted] 5y ago
*Crying and whining are ways CHILDREN ask for help.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
There's actually pretty strong evidence that women and children cry so that men - who are, as a group, only good at figuring out when someone is angry at them - will understand that they (the women and kids) are hurt.
I-am-the-lul 5y ago
Women and children also often cry as a manipulative ploy to get things their way.
Philhelm 5y ago
I tell my kids that their tears only serve to strengthen my resolve.
zyqkvx 5y ago
got a link to more readings on this?
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Nope. Just read it somewhere, long ago.
MeMakinMoves 5y ago
Don’t say something like ‘there’s actually pretty strong evidence’ then.
VasiliyZaitzev 5y ago
Shush. Nobody cares. If you are that into it, go google it.
PlatosMisanthrope 5y ago
As a general rule Im done "being" something for anyone. As ive progressed into my thirties my patience for bullshit or trouble has plummetted. If I have to put on an act for someone its too much trouble. I go to work and deal with the shit there no way am I signing up to have to wear a different mask at home because some woman. These fucked up people will lose respect for you if you cry because of a death in the family... I have enough problems all on my own.
OneRedSock 5y ago
Women do not want men who are in touch with their (his) feelings, but ones who are in touch with their (her) feelings. It's gynocentrism.
This is why even when practicing RP techniques with a plate or LTR, when you indicate a boundary they have crossed their first response is: he's so sensitive (bad). If the boundary is not clear to them prior to crossing it, they assume it's sensitivity nonsense and not something that matters. It's not until you instill dread and revoke your attention that they start to get scared and pretend that they understand why they shouldn't cross that boundary.
They will come up with apologies and reasoning as to why they should not have crossed it, but none of the reasons are the same as yours; and that's because they do not and cannot understand your reasons no matter how much you explained it. Therefore, do not offer more reasons to defend the position or try to explain it to them; you simply indicate the problem and revoke your time and attention until they realize that it's serious.
Any time you enforce a boundary, women will 100% see it as sensitivity and shit test until you revoke your time and attention, then they start to pretend like they understand. They will hamster a reason. However, if you (1) enforce the boundary and they say you're just being sensitive and (2) subsequently you cave (BP), then you have reinforced the weakness of your boundaries and your weakness in their eyes -- as being overly sensitive (being too in touch with your feelings and not her feelings).
Frenetic_Zetetic 5y ago
Exactly. Women do not logic or reason. They just EXPERIENCE the end results of their emotional states, then rationalize why that's correct/objective/reality. They aren't even with it (smart enough) most of the time to consciously realize what they're doing.
falconiawillfall 5y ago
I broke up with my LTR after finding out about TRP and deciding she really wasn't relationship material, especially as we were about to be long distance. 6 months later I hit her up when I'm back in town and we meet up "just to talk" (she brought condoms lol).
Before I bang her she tells me what she thinks I want to hear: "I barely club or party anymore, and even when i do I don't drink at all". However, I had checked out her social media before we met up and ofc she's still been clubbing/partying. I just smirk and go for the lay. Like you said, she hamstered a reason as to why I should consider dating her again when she's still the exact same thot as before lol
dgillz 5y ago
That's not gold that is platinum
I-am-the-lul 5y ago
Better check the condoms she provided for signs of sabotage.
yomo86 5y ago
All they want is a chink in the armor of an otherwise alpha high SMV male with impeccable frame. A crack only they can exploit. They don't want a pussy. They want a strong leader who they can control. It's dualistic micro mating strategy. It's the female Madonna/whore complex ie be a soft alpha but only soft for me.
Chaddeus_Rex 5y ago
There are only a few masculine emotions: anger, rage, lust, vengeance, ambition, pride.
These are masculine emotions. Everything else is being an emotional shit. Also, don't express your emotions too loudely - that's for women to do.
Managicall 5y ago
There is enormous benefit as a man to show vulnerable emotions and weakness. Its a technique called feinting and only the pros do it. But I also agree do not express your own insecurities nor make daily plans. In a relationship paper beats rock and does a lot of scissoring foreplay.
l2oland 5y ago
Good post, here’s my take on it.
A woman asking to see deeper into your feelings is 100% a shit-test. Think about it. A shit-test is basically hypergamy in action. If you fail, hypergamy tells her to find a new guy, and if not, well... it’s still your turn.
How does this relate to the feelings question? Women want a man who is in control of his emotions. If this were not the case, then all of the betafied men who are partial to crying/whining in front of their SOs (assuming they even have one) would be sought after by the 10s that Chad is fucking. This is not the case.
While a man should be in tune with his emotions, to relay them to women literally makes you look disgusting in her eyes. I can’t really think of anything more repulsive to women than seeing her her man cry. Seriously, test this yourself. Ask a girl you know if she thinks it’s ok for a man to cry in front of his girlfriend.
She’ll say “yes”, ofc. Women are fed this bullshit by the powers that be. Now ask her if she would sleep with a man who she saw cry. Pay close attention to the body language here. She’ll probably say “maybe” because she doesn’t want to sound like a bitch. The response won’t be positive unless she’s some SJW type bitch.
The answer is no, people.
Bottom line: the only emotions you want to be giving a girl are positive ones. Fuck your feelings, save that shit for close male friends or a therapist. Never let your girl see you cry. You’re her rock, don’t be a pebble.
ozaku7 5y ago
Rather, they want their men to acknowledge how they feel, and stay sane and in control of that emotion. There is no point in being with a man who is cripled from fear, destroyed by sadness or losing control through anger.
Everyone has feelings, just show that you know how to deal with them and that she doesn't have to carry any baggage that you can't and it's all fine.
This includes taking things with a grain of salt and not starting to cry or being upset because a buddy called you a pussy.
That's why many women leave their men when one of their parents dies. It's not because they experience sadness, it's because they are completely crippled and unable to live for the next two months like a normal human being. They get depressed, don't do shit, they just want to die, which just tells the woman that she is living with a mentally weak baby. If he would just cry but show strength that the can get through with it and acknowledge there is light at the end of the tunnel of sadness, showing progress, all is fine really.
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Liburnian 5y ago
Sounds like a top science, but actually this is my grandfather's life in a nutshell. Men adopted this role much easier in the past, for they also had respect from women who depended on them, as such. Hard as rock. Always in control.
Today you don't get jack shit from women, just their problems and expectations to work on. Until they replace you. They're liberated now, remember? Hence they can't be bothered with anything you can (and should) do for them.
There's a shortage of "quality men" willing to commit, women often shriek about it as they approach the wall. I wonder why is that... Who wouldn't want all their emotional baggage as their own? Who wouldn't want all their expectations as personal priorities in life?
Want respect and gratitude to go with all that hard work? You male pig...
some_zounderkite 5y ago
The women in your life are not your free psychologists. It's a red flag for women because you're foisting unpaid emotional labour on them.
trele_morele 5y ago
What women want is pretty irrelevant to an alpha man. But for the average men, this is useful information
Xanax_Guy 5y ago
We have a saying in my country: " It is not "men don't cry" but "men cry secretly(alone)".
TruthSeekingPerson 5y ago
For a long time I thought intimacy with women was honesty. I know now that the only intimacy with women is physical and temporary. Long term relationships are not built on intimacy but rather convenience.
womans_algorithm 5y ago
I like how op went from "nan being in thouch with his feelings" to "vulnerable, weakness, insecurities, ...".
Yeah man, showing happiness means youre vulnerable and insecure. Fucking hell this is such a low effort post.
ebaymasochist 5y ago
It's completely oriented towards negativity. If you're constantly unhappy in your default state, and never express genuine joy, pride, calmness, excitement, gratitude, etc. it's really hard to talk about feeling weak, insecure, jealous, sadness, anger, even annoyance without tipping the scale towards "sissy boy". "Don't show sadness" is really saying "don't let her know that you are sad all the time" and a lot of people are sad and angry unless they are being entertained...
I know guys who do nothing but complain about the same shit in their lives that's been going on for 5 years and never try to make it better. They never get over it.. And hearing it once or twice was okay, like most people will listen to your problems and not look down on you for it. Hearing it the 100th time, with no effort on their part to stop pitying themselves, or be grateful for what they have; and will fight people who tell them there's a way to not feel like shit all the time. Those kind of people are repulsive to everyone around them.
Women can tell when men are pissed off or sad. They tell men to express their feelings so that men can get over the shit and move on with their lives, because it's already causing problems. If it wasn't, they wouldn't say anything about it.
SilenceOnTheWire 5y ago
Women don't want men who are in touch with their feelings because not being so leaves them emotionally isolated and prey to their urges and instabilities, and also to the approval of women and other men. Women want men who are useful and controlable.
The_Red_Choice 5y ago
I’d almost view this as a shit test. Never tell anyone your problems because most people don’t give a shit and the rest are glad you have them. If you appear to always be doing good it will increase your value. Misery loves company so if your girl is sad or upset she might want you to be the same. Even if she feels good about it in that moment it will make you appear weak.
Everyone has their problems but we also know how to deal with them. Don’t appear weak. If you really had some serious shit going on talk to a really good male friend or come talk to your brothers here, but never with a woman you’re fucking or in a LTR with.
redpilledfox 5y ago
While I agree with the post, it’s very detrimental to keep all your emotions bottled up.
Sure, learning to control/monitor them on your own is great, but having at least one person to talk to is essential for living a stress/anxiety-free life.
Paying for therapy is an option, but if that isn’t an option at the time, it’s okay to find a person to confide in, whether that be family or friends. Find one person who you can say you had a shit day or a good day. Obviously, you will not be getting laid by this person so don’t tell the girls you want to plate. (Unless you’re looking for sympathetic sex, but that’s a whole other story).
The reason the men suicide rate is so high in America is because they try to be rock solid in a society that has become more stressful to live in.
If you need help seek it, if you need a friend, talk to him/her.
TruthSeekingPerson 5y ago
Soren Kierkegaard had a passage that discussed people who are suicidal. He said that this despair could be resolved if the person speaks to someone about the despair. If he doesn't speak to anyone the cycle continues and can lead to suicide.
With that said, once you release that tension and despair you need to move on and not dwell on it. Complaining is the surest way to be miserable.
reversec 5y ago
in short, find a person who can be an emotional tampon.
redpilledfox 5y ago
Sure something like that.
Just be sure to not become dependent on this person.
Learn to control your emotions on your own as well.
red_philosopher 5y ago
There's nothing wrong with expressing emotion to women, there's everything wrong with depending on them for emotional support.
elloEd 5y ago
This post and thread is just one giant retweet, especially this “Society is more sympathetic towards women in general. If a woman is feeling depressed, sad insecure, there will be an army of people ready to build her up and listen to her. Men are expected to build themselves up.“
I’ve even said this numerous times to my fellow peers when talking about this whole subject;
Nobody cares about the depressed male. Ever.
No matter what the circumstances are, a woman who is feeling depressed or has her own insecurities will always be understood and still tolerated, even reached out to, It’s a common saying that women want men “in touch with their feelings” and complain about never finding them, but when they actually display emotional stress from their own life issues they just get told and expected to “man tf up”.
You cannot win being a guy, at least not being that type of one, It’s a sad sad double sided coin as we are both humans, imperfect and with emotions yet one still has to suffer in silence because if not it just backfires and no one wins, I sadly had to learn this the hard way, I was going through a serious rut and my gf at the time hated that I never explained myself I finally thought that maybe it was time to open up and express myself to her I vented that I was going through a tough time especially with family and she comforted me and even said that it’s okay and that she’s not going anywhere, we literally ended things the day after. The audacity. that was a genuine sting to me but the swelling has lessened now. And that really opened my eyes, especially to how cruel the game can be, I will never make that mistake again.
swaglordobama 5y ago
This is absolutely wrong. Emotional communication a mandatory part of social interaction as well any healthy relationship.
No girl wants an emotional trainwreck of a guy 24/7, but opening up emotionally to a girl builds trust, comfort, and sympathy.
I swear, some guys read TRP and think they have to be these icy beeftards who never smile and run dread game with every girl. Plates break due to lack of emotional connection and socialization. It's okay to express yourself. Emotions = passion, which is sexy and arousings, communicates to the girl you're not going to be a robot in bed.
S-Blaze 5y ago
Yeah as long as you don't come out as a wimp.
swaglordobama 5y ago
True, but vulnerability is generally okay as long as it doesn't come paired with a victim complex. For example if you lose a loved one, it's okay to grieve, cry, and open up to her about that, and she will provide emotional support for you for a while, but eventually you have to return to groundedness.
awakenedspirit1 5y ago
I was taught the opposite of this. By pretty much everyone. Learned this the hard way...
SUCK_MY_DICTIONARY 5y ago
Being in touch with your feelings and expressing your feelings are two different things.
If a dude is depressed, he can put on the hardass front all he wants and he will still be out-gunned by any normal guy. All you do by not fixing it is avoid the problem. It will pop up in a hundred different ways if you successfully push it back in.
All this means is, girls don’t want a guy who is a constant whiny baby. But people who are not in touch with their feelings are almost invariably the real whiny babies. The people who don’t whine and just fix or accept, like a “real man” are almost always very “in touch with their feelings.”
Bottom line: people can smell fear. You can act tough all you want and they see right through it. You have to actually face your fear at some point because no matter how much icing you smear on that turd, it’s still a turd.
ThrowAcc937 5y ago
Whenever in the past that I have showed emotions, even after a close relative died, women have been backing off.
The girl I was with heard the parts I was saying in the phone call I got about the relative that died, and I know she heard that I got sad about it. I did not cry like a huge baby, but I was sad.
When I walked into the next room where this girl was, guess what she where doing? Typing on her phone of course. Didn't say anything about it. I known her for 1 yr+.
Being a male and a sensitive one is a huge weakness.
And so many women say that "I love when men show their feelings" and they really mean crying when extremely sad. Do not do it. If you are interested in sex or a relationship with that women, try to show as little as these emotion as possible.
VoltronsLionDick 5y ago
When my grandmother died, I knew immediately I was about to lose the girl I was seeing. Didn't care. Put that bitch on the altar. Grandma was worth being sad about. Sure enough, the girl got bored and left. I don't regret it. I love you, Grandma.
Brutal13 5y ago
Being sensitive is alright. When you alone or with your male friends. My humble opinion
ebaymasochist 5y ago
It's still up to you in that situation to lead the conversation and let her know what you are willing to talk about. If you didn't feel comfortable with talking about it directly to her, and not just to someone else on the phone, she probably thought you didn't want to talk about it. I've been in that situation before. you expect someone to be there waiting to make you feel better, like it's going to be okay. But not everyone is able to do that.
Mylaur 5y ago
What if you share your feelings with your guy friends?
redpill77 5y ago
Get in touch with your feelings, you then realize that you often need catharsis to feel grounded. You can try sharing your feelings with women or friends-- and women will encourage you to because it works for them-- but you will notice that you are burning bridges every time.
Then you realize you can get catharsis through your hobbies or exercise, and everyone starts putting their shit on you because you got a carefree vibe and it gives them some stress relief.
Then comes enforcing boundaries and being selective about for whom and in what circumstances you will allow such 'opening up.' There is a trade off: you get some influence over their behaviour and they get to unload some of thier existential angst.
kae_venda 5y ago
Depends on what you mean by "be in touch with their feelings" exactly. The way I see it, it may be most certainly attractive to be in touch with ones feelings. If you can recognize beginning to, for example, flip out for whatever reason. You have the potential to keep it under control, and thus not be reactive to the cause. To acknowledge it, but let it pass you and not let yourself be affected. This is what control is.
MrGreySD 5y ago
True. But it does not need to be quite so black and white.
I am rock solid in the face of difficult situations and very unemotional, but occasionally "happy cry" over music (especially live orchestra) and particularly powerful films (ones with greater meaning rather than some bullshit drama). I also once teared up a little over a GF crying over leaving me at the airport. I think it was due to guilt/compassion after essentially making her cry by leaving.
No negative reaction to these, and can't see why there ever would be.
Philhelm 5y ago
I cried during Godzilla 1985 when Godzilla jumped into the volcano. And Old Yeller.
friendandadvisor 5y ago
I can't really agree that there is no negative reaction. Perhaps the negative reaction is unnoticed by you. Your SMV could be really high, and your reaction only knocked you down 5%, which would hardly be noticeable. Or, it knocked you down a lot more, but, gf decided to keep it covered up till she could find a suitable replacement, etc...
OTOH, even the phrase 'being in touch with your emotions' is kind of vague. Does it mean 'be in touch with your emotions and cry like a bitch to your woman' or does it mean 'be in touch with your emotions so that your life is well-balanced, so you WON'T cry like a bitch to your woman'?
Further, maybe women don't mind emotions like "Whee Haw, I love you sucking my dick like that!" or "Yessss! Just won a Maybach in a lottery!" "Whoo-hoo! Jr. just got his vision back!" but absolutely don't want to hear "I feel so bad; my boss shit on me today, and I'm worried about losing my job..."
Philhelm 5y ago
They just don't want to see weakness, plain and simple.
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MrGreySD 5y ago
You're disagreeing in paragraph 1, quoting something I didn't say in paragraph 2, and then agreeing in paragraph 3? Did you read my comment or did you just pick a random paragraph, ignoring the context set by the others?
WyldeCutter 5y ago
Yeah I agree with you. There is a strong difference to me between being emotionless and choosing when and where to show emotion. Everyone has emotions, man or woman, that's what makes us human and draws us closer to things like art or other people. The key is that men can control them.
The way I see it is like sexual urges. Yeah every dude's gotten a boner in public, no big deal. But you can't just whip it out and start jerking it in front of everybody. Even if you're one-on-one with your girl, if you did that in the wrong situation it would be weird as fuck. It's always about the context. That's what being a real man is to me. It's not about not showing emotion, but knowing when.
MrGreySD 5y ago
A good way to put it, with a good (and comical) analogy.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
I was with you till this point:
It's not a "society" thing, it's innate human nature.
BitsFlow 5y ago
"We want to get rid of those societal expectations for your own good" - a feminist
I join MattyAnon point, it's nature, not some society bs.
hemlock35 5y ago
Wow you did a great job at sucking any intellectual complexity from that dialogue
hemlock35 5y ago
Society reflects “innate human nature” if it is indeed that.
MattyAnon Admin 5y ago
Society reflects part of human nature, not all of it.
And it's been distorted to maximise resources for women and men's expense.
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p3n1x 5y ago
Then why is prostitution illegal? Monogomy is not innate either.
hemlock35 5y ago
Monogamy is a relatively new societal idea that is meant to deal with the innate human concept of love. Just because society reflects something innate doesn’t mean it’s a good reflection or a good way to handle the issue.
ToTellTruths 5y ago
imo monogamy is more about putting the children under a couple's responsibility. On a non tribal society no one would take care of the children otherwise.
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I mean, there's prolly some other options, but this is what we came up with for now.
ultrasuperthrowaway 5y ago
They do want it... so they can exploit it.
They always want the upper hand
RightTurner 5y ago
When a woman wants their man to open up and show their feelings, they don't know they only want it as a way to filter out weak men. The women of men going through hardship encourage vulnerability so they know when to swing branches. They want to know we are strong, but try to convince us to show weakness as a shit-test. Show no weakness, ever.
gabeangelo 5y ago
You confuse "showing emotion" with "being emotionally weak and unstable". I've shown emotion to several women (having a bad day, being a bit down, but never cried or had a breakdown though) and never saw any negative change in their attitude to me.
hazelstein 5y ago
I always say that Men don't have any place from the emotions to hold in this world. You show emotions, the world will make you pay for it.
The most fucked up emotion is HOPE, and its utterly bullshit. you "hope"to get good marks, success, but only hope no work gets you real fucked.
illusiveab 5y ago
Emotions = reaction. Reaction = judgment. In my experience, even if justified, people will begin to dislike you if you show enough negative emotions. This is because (1) most people lack the capacity to make these judgment calls and understand good/bad simplistically; and (2) because many other people will think similarly. If you show any emotion at all, let it be positive emotion at any given time. Don't be too quick to praise, nor too aloof or reserved to become isolated. Aim to be reserved or reticent enough to be respected while meaning it.
There is a reason why one of the 48 Laws is to protect your reputation with your life.
VoltronsLionDick 5y ago
Feminists: "Men are mostly incapable of vulnerability and healthy, natural expression of emotions."
Also feminists: "Male anger is toxic abuse. Male sadness is manipulative entitlement. Male happiness is smug privilege."
berlengas 5y ago
I feel like people misinterpret the whole "man must show emotions" thing...i feel like you showing your emotions can sometimes boost your status for example showing anger when defending your territory or when someone passes your limits becouse it shows you are someone who has value. But in relationships the reason why you don't wanna show emotion after she says "i want you to be more emotional" is becouse you are giving them power, this is, you show emotions when she wants, it doesn't add much from your identity i think the objective when someone hears the statement that "men should show more emotions" is not necessarily to show more emotions but to show that you have them. For example imagine you feel really vulnerable and sad you can even in that state put a stoic posture and saying that you are feeling that way eventhough you dont show it
TruthSeekingPerson 5y ago
Women say they want men to open up. I think (1) it gives them leverage to use against you later and (2) they're insecure about their standing in the relationship and want re-assurance you won't leave them. Also, (3) they may be seeking more information as to your value and status to them. If you show weakness then you are seen as being less stable and less desirable as a partner.
The key to any relationship is keeping them on edge. You always have to be mentally prepared for them to leave because they can do so at any time. Commitment in a relationship is largely one-sided. It comes from the man. It used to be that society enforced women to commit but in fact the opposite is happening.
berlengas 5y ago
The problem is not being weak, is the necessity of being weak
vtr0 5y ago
Get a therapist/coach who can help you reach your goals, but ignore everyone who wants you to get in touch with your feelings. Either your feelings are enjoyable, then rejoice, or they are in the way of your goals, then you need to get rid of them. Burying them is great if it achieves your goal.
Yoshiiiiiiiiii10 5y ago
Burying feelings sounds so healthy..
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Battagliare 5y ago
I buried my feelings at my childhood as a defense mechanism and as a result i had OCD at the last year of highschool, the year i was supposed to prepare for college exams.
Bury your feelings, couple of years later they will bury you.
vtr0 5y ago
They bury you if you do the wrong thing as a consequence. If you have goals you take out anything in the way of achieving results. The goal isn’t to be in touch with your emotions. The goal is to win. Crying won’t make you win.
Battagliare 5y ago
you literally dont know anything about how human psyche works dude.
vtr0 5y ago
Well it’s your party, so you can cry if you want to
Battagliare 5y ago
its isnt about crying but you are too retarded to understand so have a good day
pdiggs1500 5y ago
I'm not sure emotion and in touch with their feelings are the same thing.
I agree, as a Man I would never say to a woman "Oh dear, this happened to me today at work, my boss was so mean, blah blah blah". I don't need to share my feelings with a woman.
But Emotion is different, If a Man is sad, depressed, witnessed the birth of his first born or a found out that a friend/relative/family member died. Are you saying that a Man should NEVER be able to cry? Never feel Joy? Are we supposed to be Robots?
That_Deaf_Guy 5y ago
How did I not think of this? Thanks, OP.
FinallyRed 5y ago
They want you to be in touch with THEIR emotions. Any behavior that is out of line with the status object she wants in you is the revelation of a defect.
Budfox_92 5y ago
In the UK the single biggest killer of males under the age of 45 is suicide
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Men definitely have it tougher than women and as the OP said if a woman is feeling depressed,sad insecure there will be an army of people ready to build her up and listen to her. Men are expected to build themselves up
bam9545 5y ago
This post is so true. And it sucks because I’m a successful guy but I’m pretty hard on myself so I sometimes get in a mental rut and stress myself out pretty hard.
Having my mom to talk to is pretty blessed and she’ll say oh one day you’ll talk to your spouse about this but we all know it’s bullshit.
Red pill will say talk to your boys but they also don’t want to hear your shit and want you to be strong.
Seems like the only option is to pay for therapy..
DownyGall 5y ago
I agree. Family is a blessing in this regard. They obviously care about you in a way that a spouse or friend cannot.
drawden63 5y ago
If this is the case you need some better boys. Nothing wrong with asking brothers for help. I think the thing most people have a problem with is not people having problems to talk about but its the way you go about it. People are very willing to listen if you put across your problems in a calm rational way. If you break down and become an emotional wreck this is when people being to distance themselves from you.
bam9545 5y ago
I mean yeah that’s fair for sure, you might be right. They’re the type of guys to play beer pong and b-ball with but not to share emotional shit.
They’re good guys they just either can’t relate since they’ve had pretty easy lives or they just don’t favor having those kind of talks.
I also find that most people won’t be like hey I can’t talk right now I’m busy, they’ll just say yeah uh huh okay until you just stop and it makes you think they just don’t care.
drawden63 5y ago
Yeah,some people dont know what to say or are scared of saying something wrong and making a situation worse. Maybe have try talking to other friends who arent in that peer group. If you cant find anyone drop me a pm cos this is kinda what i do for a job.
bam9545 5y ago
I’m definitely going to try and make some moves getting new homies. Man I appreciate the sentiment but I don’t want to be taking up your time for free like that. Thanks though bro
bright-morningstar 5y ago
Learn Meditation, you can retreat into yourself anytime you want and feel your emotions, not any external person or thing needed.
bam9545 5y ago
Definitely been hearing this a lot and will give it a try
bright-morningstar 5y ago
You should definetely look into that. Because in a world of men required to be a total stoic and emotionally grounded, you only have you to soothe yourself in the matters that needs tending. Check out Metta(Loving-Kindness) Meditation. And do that for yourself. That gives you sky rocket self worth and it is unconditioned to any particular achievement or success. Good luck.
bam9545 5y ago
For real. Any resources you’d recommend?
bright-morningstar 5y ago
I might warn you this is pretty dope and strong stuff. It's also a kind of spiritual practice. But not woo-woo, just creating loving and positive feelings towards yourself and others. It eradicates neediness in an instant. Give it a try. https://www.dhammasukha.org/metta-barebones-booklet.html
bam9545 5y ago
Thanks guy I’ll check it out.
NormalAndy 5y ago
It’s no surprise that when you show weakness, you will be mercilessly punished for it. Don’t fall into the trap of exposing your soft underbelly to anyone.
jonpe87 5y ago
That is why always the bullyer and not the bullyed that fuck the girls since 13yo
Core_ten 5y ago
These are the things demanded of us by nature.
nross368 5y ago
And here we go with another moron making the front page because this is what *real masculine* men do.... Yea don't fucking cry. But here's the thing emotions are what drive you. It's the core behind charisma. It's how you lead people. All the greatest leader in the world displayed their emotions of their sleeve. Which is different from being a needy bitch. You should've said don't be a needy emotional bitch.
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You fucking moron " In no aspect of life is it benefitial for them to express their feelings as men. These are the expectations that have been placed on men by society. " Be strong. Don't be weak. There I just summed up this shit post in 5 words.
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How has no one deleted this low effort shitpost???
The_Red_Choice 5y ago
My interpretation was OP was referring to these weak/needy emotions. Of course emotions are primal and normal and you need to have passion and drive to lead or get things done, but you can’t sit around and pout about how your boss is a dick or some other trivial shit you shouldn’t be complaining about.
nross368 5y ago
Yes that's what he's saying but he lacks the language to articulately state that. It's just low effort. Don't show weak emotions to people your leading. That would've been a wayyyyy better post then this crap he wrote.
The_Red_Choice 5y ago
The delivery could use some work but it’s a good message.