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- Hide Preview | 15 Comments | submitted 2 months ago by UpperRedSide [Post Locked]

Frame is an inside thing. It's the result of having one core belief and state of mind, from which every decision you make is born. It's your foundation.

But are there any ways to physically demonstrate it? What if someone has bad frame and just can't get their head around improving it? Can one fake frame until they make it, in a sort of mind-over-matter scheme that leads the thoughts to follow after the actions?

Well yes.

Most people call it charisma.

​

Let me show you how it's done.

​

1. Make Perfect Eye Contact

Everyone knows that eye contact is important, but few people understand how to do use it properly.

Typically, people either make too little eye contact and end up looking scared and anxious.

Or they make too much eye contact and look like a registered sex offender or that one creepy baptist pastor.

Here's a rule of thumb.

If you are speaking, make eye contact roughly 80% of the time.

If someone else is speaking to you, make eye contact approximately 60% of the time.

This will increase your perceived social status and ensure that your eye contact makes you seem charismatic instead of creepy.

2. Ask More Questions and Speak Less

People love nothing more than to talk about themselves.

By asking more questions about their life, dreams, and aspirations, and speaking less, you will make yourself seem more interesting, make them feel important, and prevent yourself from having to come up with witty remarks and banter during the conversation.

If you ever hit a dead end in a conversation, ask a question and then nod, say “Interesting” and then “Tell me more”.

Works like a charm.

3. Maintain Excellent Posture and Take Up More Space

Charismatic people have strong posture.

Periodt. (The t is intentional btw.)

Think about the most charismatic person you know.

Are they typically hunched over in conversations? Do they shrink up to make themselves appear smaller? Is their head down, hands in pockets?

Keep your shoulders back, your chest out, and your posture strong.

Own your space and have excellent posture and it will work wonders for your charisma.

4. Repeat People’s Names Back to Them When You First Meet

Although you don’t want to come off like a used car salesman, repeating people’s names back to them is a powerful way to build instant rapport, connect with someone, and prevent yourself from forgetting their name.

Don’t overdo it, but be sure to repeat their name back to them at least twice during the first conversation.

For example.

Me: Hi, I’m UpperRedSide.

You: UpperRedSide?

Me: Yup

You: Good to meet you UpperRedSide, I’m Sam.

5. Speak Slowly, Clearly, and Thoughtfully

A hallmark of charismatic individuals is that other people listen when they speak.

However, you can’t expect people to listen when you speak if you are constantly blurting out random crap and speaking faster than a radio ad.

When you talk in social settings speak clearly, slowly, and with deep vocal tonality.

Think before you speak and make sure that every word coming out of your mouth is meaningful.

If you are the type of person who only speaks when they have something important to say, people will naturally shut up and listen when you open your mouth.

6. Dress to Impress

While the majority of charisma comes from verbal and nonverbal communications, there is a third aspect to charisma that people often overlook.

Style.

Charismatic people dress to impress and wear clothing that represents their personal status and confidence.

This doesn’t mean you need to rock a 3 piece suit everywhere you go.

But you should make sure that you are well groomed and wearing clothes that fit properly and are stylish.

7. Make Appropriate Physical Contact

If you overdo this one it will come off as creepy and weird.

If you get it right, you will build rapport with people faster than anyone else and be the most charismatic guy in the room.

Tap people lightly on the shoulder to emphasize a point. Maintain a handshake for just 1–2 seconds longer than normal. Pat someone on the back while delivering a compliment.

Be appropriate and respectful of other people’s space but don’t be afraid to break the touch barrier quickly and regularly.

8. Smile Genuinely (And Slowly)

Most people smile too quickly or disingenuously.

Smiling is a powerful tool for building charisma but it needs to be executed properly.

When meeting someone, wait to smile until after you’ve shaken hands and made eye contact.

When someone says something funny, slowly let out a radiant smile.

When making eye contact, smile softly and genuinely.

The more genuine and heartfelt that people believe your smiles are, the more powerful they will be.

9. Always Prioritize Yourself

The most powerful and charismatic individuals in the world prioritize themselves.

I don’t mean that they talk about themselves all the time or gloat incessantly.

They value their time and attention and give it away slowly.

If you are interrupted in the middle of a conversation, ignore the interrupter and finish your train of thought.

If someone tries to get your attention, finish what you are doing before acknowledging them.

Give your attention away sparingly and it will seem more valuable.

​

That's my advice from the peanut gallery.

​

I guarantee you'll start to feel a lot more in control if you make these into habits.

​

Signing out.

[-] bestsparkyalive 36 Points 2 months ago

Fuck I love the red pill. Can’t believe they quarantined us. There isn’t another place on the internet or anywhere for that matter where men can find resources like this to inspire us to seriously better ourselves

[-] OfficerWade 5 Points 2 months ago

I agree. I keep coming back for more.

[-] VasiliyZaitzev 10 Points 2 months ago

For the benefit of n00bs, who wonder from whence Frame emanates, it flows from Confidence, and Confidence arises from mastery. So get thee first to the House of Iron and build the perfect beast.

Become excellent at something or a couple of somethings. Music, athletics, some sort of "outsidey" stuff like rock climbing or whatever.

Master it and master yourself.

[-] DancesWithPugs 8 Points 2 months ago

Great post. I have noticed some more socially assertive people are close talkers. I used to step back because it made me uncomfortable, it's awkward. Now I maintain my space and don't give way so easily. It helps with confidence. If a dog or person can move you out of your position they will lose a bit of respect.

[-] oooKenshiooo 4 Points 2 months ago

I disagree on almost every point. I see that it is meant to be very basic, but it is basic in the way that takes quite the amount of unlearning after true mastery is archieved.

1. Make Perfect Eye Contact

Everyone knows that eye contact is important, but few people understand how to do use it properly.

Typically, people either make too little eye contact and end up looking scared and anxious.

Or they make too much eye contact and look like a registered sex offender or that one creepy baptist pastor.

Here's a rule of thumb.

If you are speaking, make eye contact roughly 80% of the time.

If someone else is speaking to you, make eye contact approximately 60% of the time.

This will increase your perceived social status and ensure that your eye contact makes you seem charismatic instead of creepy.

You can absolutely skull fuck people with your gaze. What you need to do though, is to elimate the sublte twitchingin your eyeballs which betrays your true intentions and is subconsciously registered by the other party. If you want something from them, you will search their expression for that reaction all the damn time, making you radiate an aura of neediness.
How do you get that gaze? Frame and calm, amused mastery.

2. Ask More Questions and Speak Less

People love nothing more than to talk about themselves.

By asking more questions about their life, dreams, and aspirations, and speaking less, you will make yourself seem more interesting, make them feel important, and prevent yourself from having to come up with witty remarks and banter during the conversation.

If you ever hit a dead end in a conversation, ask a question and then nod, say “Interesting” and then “Tell me more”.

Works like a charm.

Asking questions gives away power. That is, why it is considered polite and acceptible for smalltalk. It is Beta behaviour. And amused master does not ask questions, because he already knows. He has strong opinions and is able to voice them in an eloquent, engaging manner. If he wants to know something about the other person, he simply makes an assumption and watches them go through great lengths to "correct" him, while he keeps his frame, because he does not care about being right. He cares about being in control.

3. Maintain Excellent Posture and Take Up More Space

Charismatic people have strong posture.

Periodt. (The t is intentional btw.)

Think about the most charismatic person you know.

Are they typically hunched over in conversations? Do they shrink up to make themselves appear smaller? Is their head down, hands in pockets?

Keep your shoulders back, your chest out, and your posture strong.

Own your space and have excellent posture and it will work wonders for your charisma.

Charisma comes in different flavours and some guys have such a lanky, noodly posture that makes even the queeres of fags go "damn, bitch!" - and they still pull. Excellent posture is not about statically puffing your chest, but about deep relaxtion of the skeletal musculature. You face will mimic this kind of deep relaxation, making you seem comfortale in whatever position you occupy.

4. Repeat People’s Names Back to Them When You First Meet

Although you don’t want to come off like a used car salesman, repeating people’s names back to them is a powerful way to build instant rapport, connect with someone, and prevent yourself from forgetting their name.

Don’t overdo it, but be sure to repeat their name back to them at least twice during the first conversation.

For example.

Me: Hi, I’m UpperRedSide.

You: UpperRedSide?

Me: Yup

You: Good to meet you UpperRedSide, I’m Sam.

That is not universally true. In some cultures it is actually rude to over-use peoples names. Germany for example.

5. Speak Slowly, Clearly, and Thoughtfully

A hallmark of charismatic individuals is that other people listen when they speak.

However, you can’t expect people to listen when you speak if you are constantly blurting out random crap and speaking faster than a radio ad.

When you talk in social settings speak clearly, slowly, and with deep vocal tonality.

Think before you speak and make sure that every word coming out of your mouth is meaningful.

If you are the type of person who only speaks when they have something important to say, people will naturally shut up and listen when you open your mouth.

The way you speak does not matter, as long as it acurately reflects your emotions. If you have hesitant emotions, weak frame and a boring mind - it will show, no matter how hard you try to hit perfect pitch and enunciation. The more layers of bullshit between your emotion and your expression, the more you need to counterbalance and the more stiff and unattractive you sound. Listen to what you say and how you say it - it will give you an indicator of whats wrong with you.

6. Dress to Impress

While the majority of charisma comes from verbal and nonverbal communications, there is a third aspect to charisma that people often overlook.

Style.

Charismatic people dress to impress and wear clothing that represents their personal status and confidence.

This doesn’t mean you need to rock a 3 piece suit everywhere you go.

But you should make sure that you are well groomed and wearing clothes that fit properly and are stylish.

First and foremost, you should LIKE the way you dress. If you feel dressed up, even the best gown and groom is not going to cut it.

7. Make Appropriate Physical Contact

If you overdo this one it will come off as creepy and weird.

If you get it right, you will build rapport with people faster than anyone else and be the most charismatic guy in the room.

Tap people lightly on the shoulder to emphasize a point. Maintain a handshake for just 1–2 seconds longer than normal. Pat someone on the back while delivering a compliment.

Be appropriate and respectful of other people’s space but don’t be afraid to break the touch barrier quickly and regularly.

Don't fucking touch people, if there is no need to. It will creep them the fuck out. The need for touch only arises when the energy and emotion of the situation can not be contained in words alone - think people hugging after their team score a goal, slapping each others shoulders after a great joke or giving someone fistbumps for respect (or out of irony).

8. Smile Genuinely (And Slowly)

Most people smile too quickly or disingenuously.

Smiling is a powerful tool for building charisma but it needs to be executed properly.

When meeting someone, wait to smile until after you’ve shaken hands and made eye contact.

When someone says something funny, slowly let out a radiant smile.

When making eye contact, smile softly and genuinely.

The more genuine and heartfelt that people believe your smiles are, the more powerful they will be.

If you become really good at holding eye contact, the need for fake smiling will disapear alltogether. Fake smiling is a supplemental facial expression that shows subordinance when locking eyes with someone. Once you archive confidence, this will burn away, leaving only genuine, encapsulating smiles.

9. Always Prioritize Yourself

The most powerful and charismatic individuals in the world prioritize themselves.

I don’t mean that they talk about themselves all the time or gloat incessantly.

They value their time and attention and give it away slowly.

If you are interrupted in the middle of a conversation, ignore the interrupter and finish your train of thought.

If someone tries to get your attention, finish what you are doing before acknowledging them.

Give your attention away sparingly and it will seem more valuable.

If someone interupts you or tries to grab you attention while you are doing something else, there is only two ways for this to go. Either you did not radiate enough dominance, in which case it would seem like bad social calibration to outsiders, should you finish your speech regardless. Or the other person missed the social cues and blurted into the conversation. In that case pretty much everyone has noticed and is annoyed by that - but trailing on is still a dick move. Those who are in the Know just share knowing glances with eachother, waiting for the weird energy to subside - this is usally a great moment to break set or change subjects. If people want to still hear your story / view / thought, their looks will encourage you to continue.

[-] UpperRedSide 4 Points 2 months ago

Well.

Thanks for the tome you're written here.

We're all entitled to our opinions.

[-] Synthetic_Citizen 6 Points 2 months ago

He is right, his additions however describe the master level of each point while yours describe basics. It is actually quite the refreshing cantrast for socially awkward noobs who will read this post and execute it too literally in the real world. Staring holes through peoples heads while speaking in an annoying raised voice and touching them every 30 seconds. I chuckle imagining it.

[-] empatheticapathetic 2 Points 2 months ago

I resonated this a lot more than the current OP. But when I was a noob the OP would have been a lot more useful.

[-] warlordchad 1 Point 2 months ago

This poster is a woman, btw.

[-] valourtore 1 Point 2 months ago

Not sure why people are down voting this reply, this is a valid response that should provide a counterpoint to OP’s suggestions

[-] TigerTamingSword 2 Points 2 months ago

While the micromanagement of some aspects of my behavior did indeed improve some aspects of my interactions, I currently feel that developing a functional understanding of what Frame means to you is essential and makes everything fall into place more smoothly. It's associated with confidence, yes, but it is also related to the idea that you are a complete and self sufficient social body, with your own social gravity - you interact, but are not immediately and helplessly pulled by other people's mood or behavior, gravitating around the tone they set for the interaction. As a result, you come across as more relaxed and genuine, which are building blocks for charisma.

[-] Captain_Save_A_Hoe_ 1 Point 2 months ago

If you smile too much in Russia you get called a homosexual and beat to death. Bad advice.

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[-] IKezax 1 Point 2 months ago

Guys How to Win Friends and Influence People from Dale Carnegie is a must read! This book covers the principles of this post and even more and goes into details. If you really understand and implement those principles in your daily life your life will improve in every area.

[-] AJ_KG_JG 1 Point 2 months ago

Lots of food for thought in this thread, one reason why I love TRP.