Frame is an inside thing. It's the result of having one core belief and state of mind, from which every decision you make is born. It's your foundation.
But are there any ways to physically demonstrate it? What if someone has bad frame and just can't get their head around improving it? Can one fake frame until they make it, in a sort of mind-over-matter scheme that leads the thoughts to follow after the actions?
Most people call it charisma.
Let me show you how it's done.
1. Make Perfect Eye Contact
Everyone knows that eye contact is important, but few people understand how to do use it properly.
Typically, people either make too little eye contact and end up looking scared and anxious.
Or they make too much eye contact and look like a registered sex offender or that one creepy baptist pastor.
Here's a rule of thumb.
If you are speaking, make eye contact roughly 80% of the time.
If someone else is speaking to you, make eye contact approximately 60% of the time.
This will increase your perceived social status and ensure that your eye contact makes you seem charismatic instead of creepy.
2. Ask More Questions and Speak Less
People love nothing more than to talk about themselves.
By asking more questions about their life, dreams, and aspirations, and speaking less, you will make yourself seem more interesting, make them feel important, and prevent yourself from having to come up with witty remarks and banter during the conversation.
If you ever hit a dead end in a conversation, ask a question and then nod, say “Interesting” and then “Tell me more”.
Works like a charm.
3. Maintain Excellent Posture and Take Up More Space
Charismatic people have strong posture.
Periodt. (The t is intentional btw.)
Think about the most charismatic person you know.
Are they typically hunched over in conversations? Do they shrink up to make themselves appear smaller? Is their head down, hands in pockets?
Keep your shoulders back, your chest out, and your posture strong.
Own your space and have excellent posture and it will work wonders for your charisma.
4. Repeat People’s Names Back to Them When You First Meet
Although you don’t want to come off like a used car salesman, repeating people’s names back to them is a powerful way to build instant rapport, connect with someone, and prevent yourself from forgetting their name.
Don’t overdo it, but be sure to repeat their name back to them at least twice during the first conversation.
Me: Hi, I’m UpperRedSide.
You: Good to meet you UpperRedSide, I’m Sam.
5. Speak Slowly, Clearly, and Thoughtfully
A hallmark of charismatic individuals is that other people listen when they speak.
However, you can’t expect people to listen when you speak if you are constantly blurting out random crap and speaking faster than a radio ad.
When you talk in social settings speak clearly, slowly, and with deep vocal tonality.
Think before you speak and make sure that every word coming out of your mouth is meaningful.
If you are the type of person who only speaks when they have something important to say, people will naturally shut up and listen when you open your mouth.
6. Dress to Impress
While the majority of charisma comes from verbal and nonverbal communications, there is a third aspect to charisma that people often overlook.
Charismatic people dress to impress and wear clothing that represents their personal status and confidence.
This doesn’t mean you need to rock a 3 piece suit everywhere you go.
But you should make sure that you are well groomed and wearing clothes that fit properly and are stylish.
7. Make Appropriate Physical Contact
If you overdo this one it will come off as creepy and weird.
If you get it right, you will build rapport with people faster than anyone else and be the most charismatic guy in the room.
Tap people lightly on the shoulder to emphasize a point. Maintain a handshake for just 1–2 seconds longer than normal. Pat someone on the back while delivering a compliment.
Be appropriate and respectful of other people’s space but don’t be afraid to break the touch barrier quickly and regularly.
8. Smile Genuinely (And Slowly)
Most people smile too quickly or disingenuously.
Smiling is a powerful tool for building charisma but it needs to be executed properly.
When meeting someone, wait to smile until after you’ve shaken hands and made eye contact.
When someone says something funny, slowly let out a radiant smile.
When making eye contact, smile softly and genuinely.
The more genuine and heartfelt that people believe your smiles are, the more powerful they will be.
9. Always Prioritize Yourself
The most powerful and charismatic individuals in the world prioritize themselves.
I don’t mean that they talk about themselves all the time or gloat incessantly.
They value their time and attention and give it away slowly.
If you are interrupted in the middle of a conversation, ignore the interrupter and finish your train of thought.
If someone tries to get your attention, finish what you are doing before acknowledging them.
Give your attention away sparingly and it will seem more valuable.
That's my advice from the peanut gallery.
I guarantee you'll start to feel a lot more in control if you make these into habits.