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- Hide Preview | 11 Comments | submitted 11 months ago by wannabebaddie [Post Locked]

After being in Monk Mode and working hard to improve myself and my warmth, I've seen a lot of results in a short period of time. This week, I saw another unexpected improvement in my love life!

There's this guy I had a crush on last year who I decided was definitely not interested in me. Fast forward to this year, and I run into him again, this time acting way more receptive, making eye contact, being more flirty. He texts me that night saying we should meet up at a cafe sometime to catch up.

Our hang out went great. The conversation flowed, we both had moments of IOIs, and we're seeing each other again soon. This is a short FR, but another testament to how much RPW has helped me. This was the guy I thought was miles out of my league both looks-wise and achievement-wise, and yet just by improving myself and my outlook, he actually seems pretty interested in me!

Let me note that to the naked eye, my physical appearance barely improved. I was always an XS without working out, I always dressed girly, and I always had good hygiene. Still, 0 men wanted me before RPW and I was lonely. During my 3 months of monk mode, I focused on what I love doing (cooking and music), instead of feeling ashamed that cooking is "succumbing to the patriarchy," which is what I thought when I was blue-pilled. I started working out 4-5 times a week. I didn't really have fat to burn or anything, but what did change was that I felt so much healthier. I woke up feeling so much readier for the day. It made me much more positive and friendly, which is ultimately the only thing that changed upon first impression. A lot of ladies who are unsuccessful in love, like me 3 months ago, assume that it is because you're not enough appearance-wise. That pain eats at you and makes you into a bitter person. That bitterness is what repels men away a lot of the time, not your looks.

Drop the bitterness and consider what aspects of your personality and your daily habits could be improved. Embrace your feminine nature instead of working against it. Work to become the woman that your ideal man would want, and you will see the changes in the results even if you don't see anything different in the mirror!

[-] plsdontkillme_ 14 Points 11 months ago

Can I ask what kind of workouts you do?

Also do you just follow what the blog writes about monk mode, or did you find any other resources?

[-] wannabebaddie 10 Points 11 months ago

Yes of course!

I try to run a mile once or twice a week. I've just started a weight training class and we do 2 sets of \~10 on machines that work our lats, chests, legs, triceps, biceps, abs, and back. Depending on the machine, as of this week, I can do around 40-50 lbs on most of the upper body machines and 70-100 lbs on the lower body machines. I've used these same machines at the gym before by just looking at the pictures on these machines and trying it. I hurt myself by not being careful, so that's why I decided to start the class. I meet for this class two times a week, but I also try to do these same exercises on my own at least once a week. I also do yoga twice a week.

I mostly just read up a lot on what people suggested in the comments every time someone was prescribed "monk mode" here at RPW. I haven't really found any outside blogs to help me with it, but I figured that Monk Mode is usually doing whatever you know you should be doing but don't, while also taking away all distractions about love and romance.. For me, that was working out, learning how to cook, trying to sing and songwrite, reading more, getting completely off of social media and dating apps, and being more involved in extracurricular activities. I didn't have any prospective men in my life during that 3 month period! You can probably tailor what you should be doing in monk mode to yourself too! What really helped to keep me on track was to write a to-do list every single day and to make sure that I got everything done. If I couldn't, it's at the top of the list for the next day!

[-] SushiWizard 2 Points 11 months ago

Does XS mean extra small? Why would you choose weight training? Just curious here as I'm also petite

[-] wannabebaddie 5 Points 11 months ago

Yeah, that's what I meant by XS! I wanted to start weight training because I wanted to shape up my lower body which you can't really do with cardio. My type of petite is the type that makes me look like a little boy depending on what I wear, lol. I also realized I have incredibly low upper body strength when I was moving out of my apartment and struggled to carry things that most people, women included, wouldn't have struggled with. I'm not trying to look like a female body builder, even though it looks great on some women. I'm just trying to get a bit stronger overall so I'm not so frail and fragile!

[-] fosho_away 3 Points 11 months ago

Lifting does wonders for creating sexy curves and building solid mass to burn more calories at rest. It’s really hard to “””bulk””” especially if you start off slim.

[-] xelaandra23 4 Points 11 months ago

Congrats! This is great to hear. I'm currently in monk mode and have been all summer...I've been weight training, like you, and I've been learning how to cook. I hope I see results like you have!

[-] wannabebaddie 2 Points 11 months ago

Good luck! I'm so happy to hear that someone is going through the exact same thing I was. From what you've been describing, I feel like you'll definitely see results soon too!

[-] IsaGuz 1 Point 11 months ago


Gods, the idea that cooking, cleaning and keeping a tidy house are "patriarchal" just makes me cringe. Especially cooking is the single most important thing you can do for your health and longevity.


Good for you, girl! Self-improvement always does wonders.

[-] wannabebaddie 2 Points 11 months ago

Thank you!! I'm proud that I can rely on my own cooking instead of fast food's or the frozen department. Just this alone makes me a lot more comfortable in my skin!

[-] IsaGuz 1 Point 11 months ago


That bitterness is what repels men away a lot of the time, not your looks.


Even the most woman-hating guys at Return of Kings have an article entitled "Women should be happy". So, no truer words were ever said.

[-] wannabebaddie 2 Points 11 months ago

It was honestly an epiphany! Glad I realized it relatively early on in my life.