I want to disclose a story that I think will give some hope to some of you who think you've been dealt a losing hand.
A bit of background: I'm a entrepreneur who recently set about growing a company a friend(now partner) started. He was very happy with all I'd done for the company, and wanted me to meet his wife and kids. Of course, I was happy to do so. As such, one day his wife came to help us run operations.
Now, I've always been a fan of the saying "Women are born, men are made". I'd be lying if I said I didn't think it came from a slight animus I carry towards women, but I digress. Put simply, women are born with and grow naturally what men seek(youth, fertility, looks), where as men earn what women seek(wealth, confidence, competence). This was an especially raw deal for women who were dealt a bad hand biologically speaking, and there is relatively little to do besides lose weight, wear makeup and adjust the wardrobe. Or so I thought.
You see, my partner's wife was by no means a pretty woman. Speaking frankly, her looks probably ranked in the bottom 25%, but her figure was not bad, you could tell she was fit. Yet, somehow by then end of our day working together, I found myself strangely attracted to this woman. Now, to put this into perspective as objectively as possible, I'd place myself at the 70-75th percentile of men, but definitely improving. I get a fair amount of female attention, and I've turned away women before who I deemed unsuitable as a long term mate. This being disclosed, one would wonder how I found myself attracted to an objectively ugly woman. Besides her being small(my preference), it all lay in demeanor.
Throughout our day, she carried herself in a way that was feminine and confident. She displayed competence in dealing with our customers, but was never combative or competitive in her work. She spoke softly and smiled often, and the few times we spoke she was supportive and complimentary. She brought my partner and I lunch and was attentive to our needs whilst working. Furthermore, in the end of day discussion and planning for the future between my partner and I, she contributed without wresting control of the conversation from either of us.
That is to say, she was demure, pleasant, competent, attentive and feminine. Notice that all of these traits can be cultivated. When I drove home that day, I decided that I would easily rate her as above the majority of women I knew. If there were a woman who was even near average on looks with the same traits, I'd wager I'd be lovestruck in an instant.
Now, I'm much more family/relationship oriented than the average man, so there is a morsel of bias to be had here. However, if it is a committed relationship is what you're after, then allow me to assert that it is men of my ilk you should be after.
The moral of the story is, no matter what biological hand you've been dealt, you can increase your value as a woman dramatically by being feminine, competent, attentive, and pleasant. This is because after braving the world, men need a home. That home is not a house. That home is you.