Anyone else on the same boat?
After reading so many RPW resources about attraction, such as (but not limited to) :
I really internalized that men really, really couldn't care less about what career I am in or whether or not I have a PhD. I was completely projecting when I thought my education and accomplishments would make me attractive to the opposite sex. And that makes SO. MUCH. SENSE.
In fact, the author of these articles mentions that for men, dating a woman with a better education/career than him is akin to a woman dating a man who is much, much better looking than him, so much so that he steals her spotlight in the beauty department.
While most women would want to date someone who is attractive, they wouldn't want to date someone who puts much more attention and value to their own beauty than any woman, that would be a huge turn off. Likewise, while most high-caliber men would like to date someone who is at least educated and/or has a career, they wouldn't want to date someone who is much more powerful than him, as that would render his role as the provider useless.
I think of it this way. I wouldn't want to date someone like Harry Styles, teenage heartthrob and band member. Sure, he's powerful, and very good looking, but his beauty is overpowering to the point where it would steal my spotlight in the relationship.
I am also very turned off by men who do things like post "artsy" pictures of themselves on social media, wear tight-fitting pants, preoccupy themselves too much about their outfit choices, and so on. As long as they put some minimum effort into their appearance, and aren't complete slobs, that is good enough for me, and after a point, their efforts actually work against them.
Likewise, men would like women who are decently intelligent and have something going for themselves, but they wouldn't necessarily be turned-on by a CEO or doctor, who most likely will work long hours, be constantly under pressure, and have little-to-no time for a proper relationship.
I don't want to date a feminized version of a man, I want to date a man. Likewise, men don't want to date a high-strung masculine version of a woman, they want to date a woman.