I am a brand spanking new newlywed (yay!!! :D) and I was wondering what is your best red pill advice for a happy, healthy, long productive marriage? Thank you.
Posted 8y ago in Uncategorized - Permalink - Locked - 231 Views
I am a brand spanking new newlywed (yay!!! :D) and I was wondering what is your best red pill advice for a happy, healthy, long productive marriage? Thank you.
Created By LuckyLittleStar
This community was created as a harbor for RP minded women whose goal is to build a lasting and happy relationship with a great man.
Redberryrain 8y ago
8 years here!
It is always a choice. Choose to make him happy every morning and to be happy yourself and you'll be surprised what you can do!
MeowZedong- 8y ago
I've only been married about two years, but I was giving great advice by a friend who has been very happily married for almost 30 years; marriage does take work. Don't come in to this thinking it will always be the "honeymoon phase". You'll have ups and downs-learn to work TOGETHER don't just give up or think you can do better.
And like the others have said, never stop dating your husband. Treat the 1st year of marriage, 10th year, 30th, and so on like you did when you first met- make him feel special, don't let yourself go, make yourself the best spouse you can be.
MrsRitt 8y ago
I'm just going to write down all these snippets of great advice everyone has given. Thank you.
dipitybit 8y ago
Read "The Surrendered Wife" and "First Kill All the Marriage Counselors" by Laura Doyle!!!! & congratulations! :D
mylifeisavacation 8y ago
Seconded. These were the first books I read after my wedding last summer -- they served me so well during the transition into daily married life. Congratulations!
MrsRitt 8y ago
I just ordered them now. Thank you :D
dipitybit 8y ago
Oh my goodness, I'm so excited for your Surrendered journey!! :D
KatherineKelly 8y ago
Try to learn what type of man he is. They come in many varieties and they can be secretive about who they really are.
Take note of what is important to him. How he likes to spend his time. What is political leanings are. Watch his relations with other men and his opinion of these men because this is key to understanding what he respects or does not respect.
The trick is to do this without questioning but more by observing without being observed "doing the observing".
Watch his emotions and what emotions he shows in front of you and or others. His emotions can give you clues into what he values by the emotions he shows or does not show.
What brings tears (or does'nt) to your mans eyes will tell you much about him.
To understand a man understand what he "identifies with" that makes him a man in his eyes. Understanding this identity and what supports it (what makes him feel like a man among men)can go a long way in avoiding unnecessary conflict.
An example could be his work that makes him feel competent and in this competency he feels manly.
For men, women often make up a large part of how they create their masculine identity. Sex and identity are tightly joined together for men, where their sexuality supports their identity.
You can understand any man when you understand what he identifies with that makes him a man in his eyes and the eyes of others.
This understanding can give you insights and wisdom that will be beneficial to married life.
Sorry for such a dry answer but much of what men did and do really confused me until I came to understand how much of what they do goes directly to their gender identity.
As a woman when we have a relationship with a man we are having it with his relationship with all other men as to his identity.
How he feels about himself "as a man" and what he believes about himself "as a man among men" will directly affect you.
MrsRitt 8y ago
I've known my husband for many many years but this is an interesting way to understand him deeper. I really like this. I of course know what kind of man he is (an amazing one) but this is a way to get to know him so much deeper than I already do.
I am excited to learn even more about him in a non verbal way if that makes sense. Thank you so much for this.
Disappear_vanish 8y ago
Stop talking.
I'm serious, some females can't close their mind around this, that maybe 5% of your thoughts ever need to be verbalized to a man! and 4/5 of those thoughts should be logistics and food related!
Not saying never talk, but I can guarantee using your mouth for ...something else ... All things equal, will make the happier husband.
MrsRitt 8y ago
This is some great simple advice. Sometimes I find myself saying the same thing in ten different ways and him nodding his head over and over while in his mind he's probably thinking "yes. Got it. Get to the point."
He's definitely a straight-to-the-point-don't-beat-around-the-bush man. Which is one of the many many things I love about him. Thank you for that advice.
StingrayVC 8y ago
When children come, for you or any newlywed, this doesn't mean your focus changes from your husband to them. He still comes first and your children will benefit far more from this than any attempt to make them first.
MrsRitt 8y ago
I love this. I will certainly put my marriage first. I've heard children that grow up in happy marriages benefit greatly. Thank you for the advice.
olympiaa 8y ago
Don't get complacent and stop trying. Take care of him, take care of yourself, take care of your house, children or pets if you have them.
Marriage is absolutely work, but I think the best kind of work if you really put the effort in.
MrsRitt 8y ago
Great simple advice.
TheTerrorSquad 8y ago
Make him the most important thing in your life.
When you regard how you are with him ask yourself "could someone else do it better." If the answer is yes then be better than that . Don't ever leave room for someone else to fill in your gaps because the day you start lacking is the day his mind will wander..
MrsRitt 8y ago
That is great advice. Thank you. I want to get that etched on my wedding band to remind me. Ok maybe not my wedding band but on somewhere.
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