I am well aware that there is awful sexism that women living in The Middle East, Africa and some Asian countries have to deal with on a day to day basis.
I am also aware that there can be more impoverished parts of first world countries where women do face a very real threat of rape, violence and exploitation on a day to day basis.
And even for middle class to rich women, there are still the threats of rape or violence they face for being smaller and more vulnerable than the men folk.
Yet most of the campaigns against sexism I see are not about these problems. They are usually about upper, middle class white people problems that I'm not even sure actually exist.
I keep seeing all these online campaigns about how there is some major storm of sexism against women in the gaming industry, or STEM industries or Science Fiction.
Yet as a woman who dabbles in all these things I have never felt significantly oppressed. If anything, people have actually been nicer to me because I am a woman interested in these things. At worst some people have ignored me - but I hardly feel getting ignored is some kind of blatant oppression. Maybe a few antisocial guys were weird around me, and said some weird things, but once again this isn't sexism, this is antisocial people being antisocial.
So do you think a lot of these claims of sexism are real, or are people making this up?
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_wingnut_ 10y ago
No one cares about your foreign bullshit
[deleted]
CMidnight 10y ago
Mainstream feminism, or at least the branch that gets the most attention, has a huge blind spot for race and class.
cream_tangerine 10y ago
The only real sexism I've faced is being catcalled or sexually harassed, like being groped on public transportation. I've never been made to feel like I was less capable or worthy because I'm female. But I've most definitely come across men who think they are entitled to my body, which is scary and horrible.
itsnadya101 10y ago
Feminism is the bane of any western country's existence. Seriously. Even in college, I see more guys being gentlemen than girls acting like proper ladies. It's so sad to admit but it's true.
whitebunny87 10y ago
absolutely.
i have never been attacked, raped, or denied something for virtue of being a woman. quite the opposite. most men i know have dealt with at least one unprovoked attack or drunken idiot trying to get aggressive.
i have a wonderful STEM job, and work with some truly brilliant people. i have never been denied a job because i'm a woman, i have never been harassed in the workplace and have actually been offered scholarships that were available only to women.
i am so, so sick of having non-STEM, liberal arts women telling me how "hard" it is to be a women in tech. it isn't. i was recently had an old physics teacher from high school contact me and ask me to come speak to his girls about a job in tech, because they all they hear from society is how awful and sexist STEM workplaces are.
THIS is the problem in my opinion. girls are being told from day one that all men are out to get them, and the worst possible fate would be to end up in a male-dominated workplace. victim-feminism and laziness is what is keeping women away from tech, not the patriarchy.
exactly this. so many women will take any kind of inconvenience at work to be sexist, whereas 99% of the time it's just an asshole doing what assholes do, regardless of your gender.
[deleted] 10y ago
I agree that most Feminist issues are upper middle class white people problems which is why mainstream feminism doesn't appeal to me because I don't fit that description. But at the same time i still self-identify as a feminist because it's such a broad umbrella term that it can stand for so many things (which kind of makes it a little more pointless without more of a clear definition tbh).
I think a lot of the oppression being claimed is social rather than actual? like, it's there if you're looking for it but it won't be if you're not. Most of the time Feminism is attacking ideas and trying to change thoughts and words in order to change actions. And at the end of the day it comes down to semantics and/or morality and that's even harder to agree on.
But just because I haven't experienced something personally doesn't mean it doesn't happen to other people. All that to say, I don't know if it's real or made up or if people are being sensitive. I just tend to believe someone until proven otherwise. But some of the claims do sounds a little anecdotal and circumstantial more than anything else.
bewareofmeg 10y ago
Spot-on.
entropychange 10y ago
I have a similar experience as you do and cannot recall to be discriminated against. I would say even further, in life I came across of a higher number of women who tried to manipulate people around them and kept a double agendas than I saw men with such behaviors.
StingrayVC 10y ago
People are making it up. They conflate hurt feelings with being oppressed.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Yup. Some nerdy guy not letting you in his World of Warcraft Guild is not oppression.
Littleknownfacts 10y ago
I think that to some extent they are real, in that yes, these things (wage gap, street harassment, whatever) are in fact happening. However, these feminists put the blame on the patriarchy, or all men, rather than the acts of a few rude individuals or the outcomes of their own choices. But what bothers me more is that they place these inconveniences at a higher priority than the injustices against men.
frozen_strawberry 10y ago
the thing about the wage gap is that women generally work less and their jobs are lower paid. you cant exactly expect to make the same amount of money an engineer makes if you have a gender studies degree. plus when things are equal (same job, same degree, the like) young women now make more than young men. so that's that.
and if you look at education: that's focused mainly on how girls and women learn, not on how boys and men learn. women have a pretty big advantage right there.
Jojobelle 10y ago
Christina Hoff Sommers who writes for Time and is the author of "who stole feminism" speaks at length here. She also comments on the Gender pay gap and the discrepancies that are made when collating the 75% less pay then men idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oqyrflOQFc
Littleknownfacts 10y ago
I agree, the gap is there but its because if things like women being less likely to negotiate or choosing lower pay for better hours. The gap is there, but its a gap that women have chosen.
StingrayVC 10y ago
There is no wage gap. It's a myth.
Thomas Sowell Dismantled this years ago
Littleknownfacts 10y ago
I'm sorry but I'm at work and I can't watch your video at the moment (but I will certainly try to remember when I get home). I did however read the original paper that "disproved" the wage gap and as I states above, yes there is a gap, but the cause of the gap is because of the choices that women make and not because of the big bad patriarchy.
eatplaycrush 10y ago
Exactly. It is funny how a lot of the choices women make are somehow oppressing them.
soselfieswow 10y ago
"Oppressing"
rpw_helena 10y ago
As a woman who lives in Canada, I have not experienced one iota of sexism my whole life. Most complaints I've heard from women in my area have been about microaggressions at worst. I think the dissonance stems from a misunderstanding of what sexism is; as you said, having weird things said to you is not sexism. My assumption is that most women in the west have never experienced genuine sexism and use the term to apply to their own experiences which they understand.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Yup. I think it's a lot of microaggresions. Not being invited to play golf with the guys isn't some kind of moral outrage - it's just a social situation.
I think a lot of the women who complain about these things have weak character too. They want some kind of blanket social movement to take care of the microaggressions that they could simply solve for themselves if they had skin a fraction thicker than tissue paper.
Problem: Guys give you crap for sucking at a video game Solution: Get better at the fucking game or stop playing.
Problem: You're not getting hired for STEM jobs. Solution: Maybe you suck at your field and need to get better, or look into a new industry.
Problem: Being into nerdy stuff, you talk to guys who are weird and antisocial. Solution: Sometimes in life people will be awkward around you, grow a pair of ovaries and fucking deal with it and stop crying on your tumblr account.
Problem: Guys aren't sexually interested in you. Solution: Hit the gym and stop eating all those cinnabuns.
Problem: You are getting paid less than a male co-worker Solution: Work more hours, be more ambitious, ask your boss for a raise because you worked hard and deserve it. If you've reached a wall in your career, look for a new one.
Problem: Life is unfair! Solution: Suck it up and stop wining. Life is never fair.
rpw_helena 10y ago
Exactly! If there's one thing that I've taken from my time browsing RPW and similar blogs, it's the value of hard work and personal strength. (Funny how I feel "stronger" and more "liberated" practicing RPW values than I've ever felt reading about feminism, huh?) Today's society doesn't do girls any favours when it comes to helping them cultivate character and resilience. If I have a daughter, I'll teach her to work hard for what she wants and to never feel sorry for herself.
vguertin88 10y ago
Generally speaking, feminism and the many "inequalities" of today are the figments of hysterical women's imaginations. Generally speaking. I know there are actually inequalities however they're not as glaring or obvious like they used to be back in the 50's 60's and 70's in America.
StingrayVC 10y ago
I won't be around a whole lot today, so I'm not sure how much back and forth I can do, but I have a couple of serious questions for you.
How do you define equality and what do you think those actual inequalities are?
vguertin88 10y ago
Well, I think that like, statistically, there has to be inequality somewhere, however I generally feel that most of the "inequalities" are made up by feminists or statistics that are slanted to make it look like the inequalities are vast. For example I saw this statistic today and it's about the wage gap but if you actually look at the evidence, women work less, as a whole, than men so of course it's going to seem like they make less.
I've always felt like women and feminists are going too far with all of this, but red pill helped me see that I wasn't the only one thinking that. There are other people who see how ridiculous it is.
LadyLumen 10y ago
I think there are inequalities that both men and women face now.
I think Scott Adams (the creator of Dilbert comics) said it best.
The old sexism was a comprehensive system of oppression. The new "sexism" is more like a few pockets of awkwardness that exist in society that may make a woman feel uncomfortable - but is nothing glaringly obvious.
I'd say the only real form of inequality I can think of that women face is that they are less safe alone. Like if I want to go for a walk at night, I always have to have that fear that someone is going to try and rape/harass me (because people have tried before). Whereas if I were a guy, I might have to worry about getting mugged - but not raped (for the most part).
The other thing I think exists is abortion laws or laws that make it hard for women to access birth control. But yeah...that's it.
vguertin88 10y ago
I totally agree with you! Thank you. I feel like this too but I'm so new to this like anti-feminism culture that it's hard for me to think of examples.
undead_keyboard 10y ago
Karen Straughan (aka /u/girlwriteswhat) just came out with a video that essentially tries to debunk this mindset. Like all her videos, it's worth a watch.
tl;dw Statistically speaking, women as a group are safer from harm than any other group in our society - and that includes children - and yet still feel the most at risk for harm. The reasons for this are a combination of nature and nurture.
edit: spelling
LadyLumen 10y ago
Women are safer from random acts of brutal violence, but they are more vulnerable to rape. I'm not saying that we live in a "rape culture." I don't think we do. I think Afghanistan is a "rape culture," not the U.S. But with that said, women should still be aware of their surroundings, walking around like nothing bad will happen is naive.
StingrayVC 10y ago
So I'm clear then, how would you define inequality? I ask because 1) feeling uncomfortable is not sexism. It's just part of life. And 2) a woman not feeling safe alone whereas a man will is again, not inequality but simply reality. We are the weaker sex. It just is.
To frame that as inequality is like me feeling bad because I am not able to enjoy having straight hair without looking like an afghan dog. There is no inequality because I have curly hair. I just have to figure something out that works for me.
Same thing with the examples you gave. We are weaker, so we figure this in to our life and we avoid dangerous situations. We figure out what works given our reality. If we feel uncomfortable in an awkward situation - we figure it out. We avoid that situation or we figure out how to manage our feelings.
Men and women were never meant to be equal. We are spectacularly different. Thank God.
LadyLumen 10y ago
So therefore men and women are unequal.
Now the real debate is not whether inequality exists - because the truth is that inequality is everywhere, and is a product of nature.
The debate is about whether inequality is a bad thing or not.
The modern social imperative to make all things equal all the time is unnatural. It's like steam rolling the diverse topography of the Earth and turning the world into a barren wasteland (so everything can be the same).
As a society we need to realize that inequality will always exist, until we can genetically modify ourselves to be sexually androgynous robots.
One phrase I like that the Christian Right has come up with (even though I'm not a Christian) is forming "complimentarian," rather than egalitarian relationships. In a complimentarian relationship, men and women focus on how their differences balance one another out. In an egalitarian relationship, men and women try to tackle the futile task of being exactly the same - which leads to endless arguments and a dissolution of sexual desire.
StingrayVC 10y ago
Yes. I was wondering if it would go here:
Which is precisely where I was hoping it would go. As another poster said, none of us are equal. We were never meant to be equal from person to person or from one sex to the other.
Yes and to be happy with the strengths that we each possess and not get twisted panties over the weaknesses.
Shudder What a horrible world.
A huge thumbs up on the complimentarian relationships. Those are the relationships that grow and thrive.
vguertin88 10y ago
I agree that there are inequalities between genders and that isn't a bad thing. I suppose that's why I never understood the rage of the feminists.
LadyLumen 10y ago
I imagine in a society where everyone becomes some angrogynous, sexually ambivalent creature, we'll all be like the contestants in Rue Paul's Drag Race.
Delixcroix 10y ago
I am gonna be honest to myself and say it is all 100% made up from rape culture to wage gaps. If rape culture was a thing being accused of being a rapist wouldn't be so damning. Feminista of course hate men already so they don't have empathy towards their lives. Wage gap isn't real because honestly I have had a job before.... Not only did I not get paid less but I got preferential hiring because I am a woman who has a disabbility. (Said dissabillity since took me out of Construction work though.)
I can name many a time when I recieved preferential treatment but not negative descrimination because my gender. People who struggle in society are honestly just lazy.
LadyLumen 10y ago
That's been the case with me too. I have about 11 years of job experience now in over 10 different fields (I had to work many jobs at the same time to put myself through college). I have NEVER received bad treatment because of my gender.
I talk openly about my income with colleagues and I never made less for simply being a woman. My pay was always based on my experience, ability and attitude.
The whole 77% of what men make is bullshit statistics when you look at the numbers. There is no widespread conspiracy to give women less money simply because they are women. The reality is that there is a widespread, interconnected series of choices that women make for themselves that cause them to earn less money in their life times.
They choose less ambitious majors and job fields than men, they decline promotions more often, they are less likely to ask for a pay raise, they are more likely to work less hours and take off more time, along with choosing jobs that have a better work/family balance - rather than the whole nose to the grind kind of jobs that pay more.
When you actually look at women who work the exact same job title, field, hours, experience and educational background as a man, you'll find that incomes are actually equal.
The problem with these "studies" is they compare people in the same fields - not the same jobs. A woman working in construction may be getting paid less than a man in the same field, but what this study doesn't explain is that its because she's the one working at the desk while he's outside risking his life doing repairs on a major highway at 2 in the morning.
So yeah....the statistics are bull shit.
bam2_89 10y ago
Childless women under 30 actually make 8% more than similarly situated men.
Goodlucknextseason 10y ago
Ah, it's good to be in the prime of your looks. ;)
bam2_89 10y ago
It's also that men with families value their free time a lot less. If you're a single man, are you going to work in a dangerous, physically exhausting, or incredibly stressful job just to support yourself?
toriar 10y ago
It's honestly more likely that it's because they don't have children. Or if they have expressed that they don't want kids. It's unfortunate, but employers don't want to hire someone who is just going to leave to have kids anyways. Especially here in Canada, when the mat leave you get is up to 12 months if you want.
Bortasz 10y ago
This maybe the reason why I see many advice to women to have children first than carrier. If 30 something come to new employer and say that she get married recently, and hopes to have family. Well time is ticking.
But if 30 something come to employer and say that she is married for 8 years, have already 2 children age 7 and 6, and do not want more. And seek for stable job to gather founds for there college... well this is far more stable employee, who will not change job easily.
Goodlucknextseason 10y ago
That's interesting!
TheBallsackIsBack 10y ago
Rule #1 to being an attractive woman, don't be a feminist.
Yes the issues are completely over blown and there is nothing more unattractive than an overblown victim complex.
itsnadya101 10y ago
I think it's all bs honestly.
need_rp_advise 10y ago
In middle Eastern and Asian countries yes there is a huge issue. You know in these countries the definition of rape is still sane- a woman kidnapped and forced into sex, is what happens there and gets called out as rape. In India for example, even in major cities it's not safe to got out for girls late at night, coz they literally may get kidnapped. In wester countries however, we define rape as "I was drunk and got careless, so maybe I was raped". It actually trivializes what women in other countries may go through. But as we know, feminism is nothing but convenience for upper class women...
Also I am in stem field, there literally is NO pay disparity whatsoever. I recently got heavily downvoted in a female-STEM sub, for saying the exact same thing. Everyone gets paid depending on their skill set and experience level.
LadyLumen 10y ago
I know a large amount of people from India and other South Asian countries because of my past career field. One of the things they remarked on was how incredibly safe America was for women.
Like they would point out a girl walking around in short shorts and be like, "it's great that women can walk around like that in your country. In my country she would most likely be raped." - and even with the short shorts aside, she would very possibly be raped for simply going outside alone.
And the real kicker is that once a woman is raped in these countries, she must live as a social outcast for the rest of her life - never to be married and so on.So because of this danger, women are married off as soon as possible - as young as 5 years old!
So yeah, today's Feminism definitely trivializes actual oppression.
Stonesaint 10y ago
Being an Indian man now living in the Middle-East, I can give you a perspective of matters in both places.
You speak about sexism and the inability to wear shorts as a big deal.
I have a theory about laws - Harsh laws means harsh circumstances. In India there are expectations about men - they are technically draft-horses and whatever additional "freedom" they have is counter-balanced by their responsibilities to their kith and kin.
In fact, their very value is determined by how much dough they can bring to the table.
I was brought up in the Middle-East as an expat child. My parents continues to work in on of the biggest contracting firms here. Through sheer perseverance my father climbed his way into a respectable position from a simple laborer.
As a child, during the evenings here I saw multitudes of men buying telephone cards and calling back home. The highlight of the lives of these men (Indians,Pakistanis, Filipinos etc.) are those few minutes in a Thursday night when they capture the news and voice of home through a phone.
It is harsh, but in this world, the greatest joys lie in the smallest things.
It is difficult for you folks to understand how gynocentric the Middle-East is. The words of a woman can corrode the life of a man hard. Even if it's a lie. Men are mostly reared up seeing the sheltered and protected women in their lives. Hence their protective instincts are on overdrive.
Petrol and it's wealth was the child of the last century - albeit a golden one. In the years before, there was just the howling sandstorms and the glaring sun for company. A tough climate that gives less food and lesser water. Those that survived were sculpted by tough laws.
Groups that survived best were those who learned to shelter their women best. Simply because more wombs means more progeny. And you simply think women have no power?
I would say this kind of power is the most dangerous - power by proxy. Because even if you strike back at the hand that gore a hole in your hide, it belongs to the man that believed - not the woman who lied.
need_rp_advise 10y ago
yep thats true. Most american women will not believe my childhood. And, no I wasnt oppressed by any measure. But I have definitely seen it around me. When I was young, I wasnt allowed to stay out late after 6-7 pm. Mind you this continued till I was 19 years old. I wasnt allowed to wear a tank-top or a cami. No shorts. No short skirts. But would i say I was oppressed? No. Why? Coz my family loved me. they did all this for my safety. We had dinner together every night. My dad worked hard for us and our education. We were not poor, and my dad was actually a very modern-thinking, rational man. He loves us like crazy, but at the same time realised the limitations of our culture. It is what it is. I am not saying this is the best way to grow up for a girl. But from where I am, yes it is. You see what I am getting at? I never considered it oppression, coz nobody told me so. I was a happy child with no agenda. Just happy. Me, my mom, my sister, we trusted our dad to make the best decision for us, and he did.
When the time came, he let me be independent ( at 19) and do as I please. By then I was taught enough to think for myself.Today, I am in the US. And yes as you said, it feels safer to be able to do anything. I love and resepct the american spirit. And even though my family is back home, they do too. Now I post pictures of me wearing a dress ( not a short one still) but my dad understands, that I am safe and sensible enough to not make bad choices. You know my first moment of complete acceptance happened in a shower room here in US. I was alone, around 9 pm. I had just come from swimming. And no one was there. I undressed, naked completely, and lied there for 15 minutes, almost meditating. I had never been naked except in the privacy of my own room before that moment. I realised, freedom is all in the mind.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Glad you're enjoying life in the USA.
meri-dian 10y ago
After reading the entire thread I do have to say that female-dominated fields definitely do not pay as well as other "equal" (or higher) work fields which are equally split by gender.
The field I work in (now) is female dominated, and for the amount of education, skill and responsibility, we get paid CRAP.
whitebunny87 10y ago
Can I ask what field you are in?
meri-dian 10y ago
Veterinary
RPWAlethiaTheElf 10y ago
These are probably going to be an unpopular opinions, even for RPW, but:
Have you ever asked yourself why you should even give a damn about those women? They are in separate countries in entirely different continents, so why burden yourself with their problems? Just because they share the same parts as you? If that's the case, we really are living in a matriarchy, where every woman, just by being born as such, but contribute to the communal hive-mind of vajayjay. Yes, women are the natural carries of empathy and compassion, but have you ever thought that we might be starting to get into the extreme territory by saying all the world's problems are our own? Are the women in those countries going to return the favor and help us? Where are the Pakistan feminists getting outraged over Rotherham? Frankly, the only people who deserve your compassion are your family, direct friends, and immediate neighbors, not some random women thousands of miles away in the middle of the desert.
I've been petite (160cm) my entire life, so please tell me more about when I go out I need to perceive everyone larger than me as a potential threat to my safety. If I actually thought like that I'd stay inside my house and never leave because 99% of both males and females are taller than me; I would never have talked to my amazing boyfriend either since he's 198cm and that's just serial killer material right there... /s
Feminism has bred multiple generations to perceive problems where there actually aren't any, so in their head they don't think they're making it up, but in reality they are.
LadyLumen 10y ago
I agree that we probably shouldn't interfere with the problems of people in other countries - because then we verge on repeating the Christian Imperialism of the 19th century, where it was the "white man's burden" to interfere and change people's cultures.
However, I disagree with the notion that you shouldn't have compassion for people you aren't directly related to. I think you should try to practice compassion for all people and things, because if everyone thought this way - the world would be a better place.
I think rape is a real threat for women in first world countries, but a rare threat. 95% of the time I go outside at night, alone, nothing happens to me. But there have been a few situations I experienced personally where a guy tried to attack me - so...it does happen.
I am a licensed gun owner with a concealed carry permit, and I also usually have pepper spray and a knife on my person.
My attitude is always be ready for danger, because that is the only way you'll be able to react properly when a bad situation happens.
RPWAlethiaTheElf 10y ago
I just reread my post and realized it could be seen as accusatory, so I apologize if it came of like I was attacking you, I wasn't.
You operate from the central idea that the world can be a better place, I don't think it can be. Just in that sentence alone you use the phrase "if everyone" which means that every human needs to subscribe to that 1 singular idea in order to accomplish your goal. When in history has humanity ever rallied together behind 1, sole thing? As long as 1 person dissents (and one always does), the idea doesn't get accomplished and you've wasted all those resources for nothing.
fernando_69 10y ago
I wish, but unfortunately I ran into him again yet.
LadyLumen 10y ago
I agree, it seems unlikely, but I am an idealist.
I think humanity has achieved positive things. We've ended human sacrifice, cannibalism, slavery, religious and racial tolerance, and now people are beginning to talk about practicing more compassion to animals and the environment. (Not everywhere, but in many places).
A lot of bad has happened in the 20th century, but we've also achieved a lot of good. I think as long as you are willing to try, you can achieve a lot of good.
I saw some Nordic quote the other day. It's better to die in failure, than to live without hope.
And don't worry, I didn't see your post as an attack.
Aerobus 10y ago
A lot of problems are exaggerated or simply made up.
Here is one example: a recent study by Cornell University shows that women are preferred for STEM jobs at a 2:1 ratio to men.
lazybrownguy 10y ago
I am phd candidate in a top 10 engineering school in US, and can confirm. Academic job market is heavily skewed, with less than one faculty opening per every 20 graduating phds every year in US and most of the developed world. And on top that, academia is deep into affirmative action.
A career in academia in STEM is out of reach for men now-a-days, with preference towards women in phd hiring, special scholarships, additional mentorship, all the way to faculty hiring and even in being awarded with Govt grants.
Many a times, universities pass over much more competent male candidates for less qualified female one for a STEM faculty position. I wonder how our future universities will look like. May be brick and mortar educational institutions will lose value compared to different online learning options in the next few decades.
If only I were an atheist mixed race (hispanic and black with native ancestry) lesbian female, Stanford and MIT would be lining up for me. :P
sierri 10y ago
This kind of thinking causes problems. There women out there who aren't getting respect because the guys around think that they got everything handed to them on a silver plate.
I work in STEM and was prepared for the older generation being... I don't want to say the s word, but at least a little weird. I was not prepared for the obvious jealousy and subsequent coldness that the men my age had around me had because they thought I was having an easier time.
I know sexism can be thrown around a bit too much sometimes, but I have heard some bad stories about women in academia. These include pressuring for relationships, extra work including housework for male professors and plenty of retaliation when women do speak up. And that's just at my university.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Yup. I was the only woman in my computer science class because my male teacher begged me not to leave. In all my experience in STEM classes, the male teachers basically rolled out the fucking red carpet for the women. Having to deal with hard subject matter or guys who ignore you isn't sexual oppression - it's just the nature of the field.
I think what Feminists don't understand about STEM is that it isn't a field like Liberal Arts where you can fake competency. If a company hires a woman who sucks at the job just to meet some quota, she has the potential to fuck some serious shit up.
The reality is that women are highly desired in the STEM field, but there are few women willing to deal with the stress and demands that the field entails. (Which is why most of the few women in these fields are Asian, because they come from a disciplined culture that rewards hard work - not whining).
Aerobus 10y ago
You nailed it except for one thing: a good number of men, while they won't admit it, would still prefer to work with other men instead of women because they whine less.
meri-dian 10y ago
I find this difficult to believe. My husband works with all men in a STEM related field and says the MAJORITY of the men are huge whiners. He has stated that when he worked with women in other fields ( he has worked in the military his entire life, but in various capacities) they whined LESS about their jobs (but MORE about their personal lives).
LadyLumen 10y ago
Yup. That's true. Only worked at one place where there was no drama, and that's because in a staff of like 20 people, there were only 3 women - and one of them didn't speak English. LOL.
Then I worked at a place where there was constant drama. Everyone was female. They hired a guy once and the guy made the mistake of talking to one of the women while they were on the same shift. She complained to the boss that said guy was hitting on her, and he got fired after working there for 3 days.
The craziest rumors spread in that place - including the rumor that I did cocaine on the job - LOL! Working some shitty retail job I don't think I have the kind of money for cocaine, at least make up a rumor that makes sense people.
Aerobus 10y ago
You laugh about it. I legitimately am fearful that some dumb woman will accuse me of doing something I never have done or never will do and end up running my life.
I hope to god I don't work in a female dominated environment.
scallopkid 10y ago
Feminism gets its power from moral outrage. To maintain power, it has to keep coming up with things to be outraged about.
CopperFox3c 10y ago
Victim mentality is part of the accepted philosophy in the modern Western world. Everyone else is to blame, not ourselves.
The reality is that there will always be someone who has it better than you, someone who has it worse. We are all disadvantaged in our own way. Some of us are not as athletic, not as beautiful, not as smart, come from poor backgrounds, etc. But all of us are at least a few of those. We can blame others for the obstacles that stand in front of us, or we can choose to overcome them.
Some of us may have to work harder for the same things - some may have to exercise more to lose weight, or work harder to get good grades. But all of us have our weaknesses. It's a matter of effort, of willingness. Unfortunately, many want society to do the work for them.
The reality is that we all deserve a chance, but we still have to make the most of it. If we fuck it up, we fuck it up. We deserve a fair chance (equity), but not the same outcome (equality). We have to earn it.
As an aside, in terms of the global population, I'm pretty sure white women from the suburbs in the United States are part of the top 1% most privileged people in the world. I've been all over Asia and South America, seen the way many people live. So ...
Bortasz 10y ago
Feminism currently are in the same situation of Jacobin in French Revolution.
They were having power to crush enemies of revolution, and were very good in doing so.
However there power will vanish if there is no more enemies to fight.
So they invent the new ones.
The revolution devour it's own children.
Feminists in practice have no real opposition now. Even Obama bow to them when he address debunked wage gap. Academia is completely brainwashed by them. Media are full of feminists activists that do not even report about stuff that is opposite to there narrative. They are Establishment. And yet they have to invent new boogeymen, they must paint them self as helpless victims.
I wonder if they end up like Jacobin's.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Very good points.
In the 1960's, when second wave feminism began, it was a part of the counter culture.
Now Feminism is THE culture. Counter culture is actually speaking out against feminism. Counter culture is very powerful, because it works on the basis of legitimate grievances.
windlabyrinth 10y ago
I've always said I never realized I was oppressed until feminism told me I was and I stand by that. I think our culture grossly overcompensates for history, when I do believe there was a time that being a woman was no great shakes.
Now, my degree is in religion where women play an interesting role there and you could argue some oppression exists in certain denominations of each religion. Politically, I'm personally not sure how I feel about all the about reproductive rights arguements and it seems like we could do maternity leave better/paternity leave should exist.
So, in my opinion it's maybe a mixed bag but feminism on one hand complains that women can't be whatever they want to be and on the other complains when women choose to be something that feminism doesn't value, like a housewife instead of an astronaut.
However, going back to what I said at the top, I believe that it would be a lot easier for me, as opposed to a male, to get in to school to be an astronaut because "oh female ... [insert overcompensation here]"
LadyLumen 10y ago
I agree.
meri-dian 10y ago
I think a lot of these are First World Problems. I also think that they are less about women in general, and more about just how cruel some people can be to other people.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Definitely. I feel like all this gamer hate feminists claim to receive is also targeted at guys too. Guys just don't complain about it. Playing online games, I get cussed at and harassed no matter what people think my gender is. That's just how online gaming is. (I don't do the headset thing, and sometimes I play a female avatar and other times I play a male one, so people don't always know my gender.)
FleetingWish 10y ago
Even this is something I struggle agreeing with. I don't believe that anyone should be a victim of violence or rape, but to claim that the possibility of rape and violence is a "woman's issue" strikes me the wrong way. Men are also vulnerable to these things, in fact men are much more likely to experience violence. The fact is women are safer as a group than men are, because they are less likely to be attacked, and more likely to be stood up for. This is due to the fact that men are naturally protective of women. The possibility of a women getting attacked by a crazy person is really low.
To me being afraid that someone might rape you is a little like being afraid of being hit by lightning. Yeah, it might happen, but the fact that we walk around scared of it all the time is unreasonable given it's likelihood.
The real reason that violence and rape are largely considered a "woman's issue" is because women are scared of it. And since we must protect women from being scared of anything ever, this becomes an issue for society. They are scared of it, because they would be more vulnerable to it (if it happens). Feminists think that being more scared of it is enough of a reason by itself to call it a "problem". But, you don't get less scared of something that is unlikely by... Making it less likely. In fact we are already doing that to the extent that we put offenders behind bars.
I'm in stem as well, and have never once felt looked down upon because I'm a woman. Not by my parents, not by my teachers, not by my classmates, and not by my coworkers. Either I'm really lucky for never meeting anyone in my entire life who was "sexist against women in STEM, or the problem is not as bad as people say it is... I'm likely to believe the latter.
Even this I have trouble siding with. Because it's easy to imagine from the comfort of our homes that those poor women are so oppressed, because that is the story our media feeds us. I don't feel comfortable assuming people I've never met, who haven't asked for my help, need it, or even want it.
LadyLumen 10y ago
I don't think that's true...There have been 2 different where people have attempted to rape me and I guess I just got lucky and got out of the situation.
Men are more likely to be a victim of violence. But women are more likely to be a victim of rape. I think we can address both things.
I also think people should always be aware of threats and dangers. Walking around like nothing bad will ever happen to you is a very dangerous attitude to have. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I'm always aware in every situation and have a back up plan for most possible threats.
It's like having a parachute. Having one doesn't hurt you, but not having one can be deadly.
FleetingWish 10y ago
I'm sorry that happened to you, but I am talking statistically speaking, the kind of rape we are afraid of is not very likely.
I don't want women to be raped, or men to be attacked, any more than anyone else, but I don't think there is anything reasonable that we can do to prevent it more than we are already doing. In other words, no the system isn't perfect... But I don't have the solution to making it better. And I certainly don't think feminists have a solution that makes it better either. I think things like "teaching boys not to rape" and "always believing rape claims" don't work, and cause other problems.
If we could eradicate rape and violence, I would be all for it, but right now, our efforts to get rid of it are as aimless as the war on terror. We have no idea who the enemy is, and so we have no way of stopping them before they strike. All the war on rape has done is ostracize men, and do nothing to actually protect women.
I agree entirely. Learning to avoid dangerous situations is important as teaching your kids not to accept rides from from strangers, or not to play in the street. Sure, this is not always effective, but tackling the problem from both sides helps prevent unfortunate things even more.
Bakerofpie 10y ago
I face sexism ALL THE TIME. Why, just the other day a man offered to help me carry my groceries to my car, which I bet he wouldnt have done if I were a man. The outrage. Sometimes when I was single I wouldn't have to pay to get into bars just because they wanted to give the pretty little pieces of meat more incentive to attend. Men have become downright offended when I reached for my wallet to pay for myself after a date. I can stand any place in public with a concerned look on my face for about five minutes before men will start coming up and asking if everything is okay and whether I need help. And yes, sometimes men tell me I'm pretty and I should smile, which is irritating when I'm not smiling because of agonizing pain or the fact that someone just died, but I don't take the feminist stance that telling me to smile is a "microaggression" and those men misguidedly trying to be kind and friendly need a kick in the pants and to perhaps sit through a sexual harassment seminar.
Shit, I hate it when men don't act sexist toward me. I'm not a man. I don't want to be treated like one. Sexism puts life on easy mode for women. That's what so many women don't get. I like sexism because I benefit from it, and I'll freely admit that. All I have to do is play my part. Sexist men have sexist expectations of women, and if I uphold what a woman is "supposed" to do I can receive the treatment of how a man treats a lady. The way chores and duties are laid out around my house and the expectations of me are incredibly sexist, and thank god for that. I couldn't imagine the horror of living any other way.
LadyLumen 10y ago
No sexism basically means women getting treated like dudes. And I don't think most women want to be treated like dudes.
There was a 32 year old white woman living in Japan who was actually complaining about this very thing. No guy ever hit on her or went out of his way to help her, even construction workers didn't holler at her or look at her twice, she received zero benefits of beneficial sexism, because as a slightly overweight foreigner past her prime, the guys just weren't interested. Funny thing is that in America - she'd probably still be getting the pussy pass for so many things, just being a blonde white woman.
Funny thing is that this lack of sexism actually made her pretty miserable, because she didn't even feel like a woman.
mashakos 10y ago
can you provide a source? Interested in reading/hearing more about this case.
LadyLumen 10y ago
http://www.vagabondish.com/female-foreign-japan/
Basically this woman talks about how she is invisible in Japan.
TheBallsackIsBack 10y ago
I think this is a big part of why feminism is so incredibly frustrating to some people. Feminists have a child's mentality, plain and simple. They are oblivious to the benefits their gender receives and only want more more more. They want to shape the world into this cushy little pad where they have everything just the way they want it and any man who isn't the exact image of what they think he should be is scum. I hope feminism, or at least feminism as we know it dies a slow and painful death. It is a plague on humanity.
LadyLumen 10y ago
Yup. Feminism is a world where fat, squishy, annoying women past their prime get attention from hot male studs, while 80% of the other men are killed off - because giving women attention, while not being alpha becomes a crime comparable to rape by the definitions of the new Feminist Government.
LadyLumen 10y ago
*Slightly balding man accidentally makes eye contract with a woman.
Lady:"Officer! Officer! That creepy guy over there eye raped me! He looked at me for a total of 3 seconds."
Officer: No man has the right to make you feel socially awkward, mam. This isn't some kind of rape culture. Don't worry mam, we'll have him arrested, slice out his eyeballs, and castrate him immediately.
Carts man off screaming
5 minutes later, a tall, dark and handsome stranger walks up to the woman and grabs her ass.
Woman: Teeheehee, you're such a flirt! Let's go to my place!
h22keisuke 10y ago
It's misused fairly often as a scapegoat for personal shortcomings, and also as a badge of honor.
Not that it doesn't happen. Sexism also goes both ways. I work in a female-dominated field, and there is definitely sexism towards men from time to time.
As always, we see what we want to see in the world. Active feminists are going to perceive and infer more sexism than people who don't feel strongly about it.
LadyLumen 10y ago
I agree. Imagine there's some woman out there who guys don't want to be around because she's obnoxious, or ugly, or just plain boring. Maybe they don't want to let her into their World of Warcraft Guild because she sucks at the game.
Instead of practicing any kind if introspection, she decides "The system is oppressing me!"
Social justice is no longer about justice. It's about everyone wanting to feel special.