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- Hide Preview | 21 Comments | submitted 7 months ago by [deleted] [Post Locked]

I don't see a lot of posts on this so I'm going to ask what may be a very general question.

I find it difficult to deal with women in certain situations because I am perceived as soft. I do not really follow red pill philosophy at work or in my social life, but aspects of it seep in-- that is just how I am.

I've run into situations where women give me the "aw, poor thing" treatment and I can't really figure out why (I'm pretty self sufficient). I've had women very aggressively seek out my friendship, later to find that it was done in a manner of jealousy (one of these women was my boyfriend's colleague. She told him she'd like to befriend me, just ended up scoping me out and trying to get him alone. Felt like I was spinning at the time and had no idea how to "make my presence known" without looking insecure, boyfriend ended up squashing it). These are just a couple examples, but I sometimes feel like it's a lawless land among women. Little interactions are fine, but it's the ongoing relationships I struggle with. Older women love me, much younger women are easy to get along with-- women my age (mid-late 20's) don't seem to perceive me as an equal.


In general, how do you "make your presence known" when you sense someone is targeting you? How do you convey that you are strong, aware, and in control without becoming cold or looking insecure?


EDIT for clarity: I'm mostly talking about situations where you can't avoid someone, like at work, or if there is someone floating in your social circle. I tend to keep to myself, but I find that the women who act this way don't necessarily need your participation in order to work their agenda. I just don't like that so many women have felt they can take liberty with me, and I don't tend to have that problem outside of my female peer group.

[-] Kara__El 22 Points 7 months ago

Women your age see you as competition, either in their career, the dating world, or even just socially. It's a very competitive age and social media has only made it worse. My husband and I left social media for a myriad of reasons and are much happier for it. We feel a lot less pressure to keep up. We're going to two different bible studies now, in an effort to find like-minded friends, because traditionalism and building each other up is more valued in a religious community and we are religious, as well.

I also find that women who feel established are less competitive, be their goals career or family oriented. I'd honestly advise aiming your friendships towards these women, regardless of age.

[-] Flockofpuppies 13 Points 7 months ago

It's a big red flag to me when a woman doesn't have female friends her own age.

Too soft? Be fun and lively and sparkly (note, not argumentative and brash). Be ready to laugh and make your friends laugh. Show genuine interest. Nobody wants a boring milquetoast friend.

[-] [deleted] 6 Points 7 months ago

I have friends my age, but I'm running into issues with women at work and have had a few women try to take a pass at partners. I'm easygoing and feel like that's being taken the wrong way by more aggressive women.

[-] Flockofpuppies 4 Points 7 months ago

Are you chatty? Women bond through talking, it makes us uncomfortable if you aren't participating.

[-] bambiliftsweights 1 Point 7 months ago

How do you meet friends? It’s a stupid question but here’s my backstory:

  1. Full time entrepreneur who works from home.
  2. Just moved to a new state.
  3. Work about 10 hour days and then go lift for 2 hours and then go to bed.

I literally don’t know how to make friends post-college and yet I crave the friendships I have back in my old state.


[-] [deleted] 5 Points 7 months ago

II don't know, I just do me. I don't ever feel the need to make my presence known.

I might be missing your meaning in this post, but maybe you should learn to be more assertive?

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 7 months ago

Thank you, this looks like a good read.

[-] bad_girl_bex 0 Points 7 months ago

Have very few female friends. Only a small select few who aren't annoying, bitchy, vapid, screeching, hysterical bints who think they're either a/ being clever by going behind the backs of others to manipulate situations, or b/ being interesting, deep and whatever by spending their life reposting, spouting and annoying everyone else with their 'positive vibes', 'inspirational quotes' and trite cliches.

I don't socialise a huge amount and spend a lot of time with the other half. Because we get along really well. 10 years in and everything's still pretty sweet. Not having kids probably helps allow us to not have to get worn down or distracted by another set of demanding life forms. When we socialise with others, it's usually with a bunch of dudes I know or guys he's friendly with. Sometimes those blokes bring their gf/wives along with them and occasionally they seem to expect me to want to pair off with them to go to the bathroom and chat about crap I really couldn't give a shit about. I prefer to play pool or just engage in banter with the guys. They have way more fun and I prefer the sicker jokes, dank sense of humour and bants.

Being around other women just drives me nuts. I hate having a female boss, detest working in mostly female environments and when I start a new job will immediately hone in on the bloke who looks like he hates the squawking hormonally imbalanced harpies as much as I do.

As for women trying to work their own agendas on me...yeah, good luck. I'm a really good judge of character and incredibly blunt/honest which throws everyone off straight away. I won't get involved in schemes, I won't get in on gossip, I won't keep secrets I didn't want to be party to and being honest means I never need to worry about keeping my story straight. I don't care enough about their opinions to warrant anything other than basic workplace courtesy and make a point of not attending work related social events. It's bad enough that I have to cover for every dumb broad who gets pregnant twice in two years, who needs to take time off because her kid has measles, then chicken pox, then a cold. But then they also seem to expect that by being sacred mothers, they're deserving of always getting first choice when it comes to holiday selection. Fuck that. I can be a bit more flexible if I want to be, but when these bints are the same bitchy, mental, histrionic harpies who have annoyed me into wearing my headphones all day long, it's real funny to see them suddenly try to get all saccharine once they want me to trade days off with the. Sorry sweetheart...I just don't like you or care about you enough to give a toss about whether or not you get a full week off with your kids. Not my problem.

Sure I probably sound like a horrible person, but I'm just the result of having allowed myself to actually be manipulated by females when I was younger. For some reason I just went along with how things seemed to be. But then one day I just woke up and realised that I didn't have to take any of their shit. I didn't have to comply with any expectations. I didn't have to behave as was expected of me. So I started hanging out with the guys, making some really cool friends and simplifying my life from that moment onwards. Other women are just constantly perched on the edge of their own sanity, desperately trying to micromanage every little thing and person around them, in order to use what little soft power they have to maintain an iota of control over their lives. They don't like or trust the women they claim to call their best friends. They see all other women as competition. I see them as little more than 'in flight entertainment'. Wind them up and watch them go.

Dressing to outdo one another; buying expensive crap to trigger envy in their social circle; always scouting out who has other new stuff so they know what else they have to acquire, in order to stay at the top of the pecking order. They lie to each other about each other. They bitch about everyone else as soon as they're away from their desks. They wield the pathetic power of middle-management like psychopathic menopausal control freaks.

Do I have any time for that crap? Do I hell. Life is too short. I'm in a happy relationship with a man I love and respect. I value his company and input to a situation over everyone else. And I'd rather send him out to a Magic The Gathering FGN where he can hang out with some buddies, have some guy time and engage in one of his hobbies, whilst I stay at home enjoying some quiet time and then having a giant bacon bap waiting for him when he returns. Life is so much easier and happier, when you cut out all the bullshit, stop taking crap from morons and just focus on what actually brings you joy.

Keeping women at arms length for the most part, is exactly what I need to do to maintain my sanity. Let them continue to provide the entertainment with their deranged shenanigans. Me & my guy will be over here with the popcorn.


[-] fosho_away 7 Points 7 months ago

You sound super negative. Maybe you’d make more female friends if you weren’t so antagonistic and judgmental?

I know plenty of women who are fun, don’t like to gossip, and have cool interests.

[-] bad_girl_bex 1 Point 7 months ago

You sound like you have some weird belief that I want to have more female friends. I literally just wrote a post out listing the problems that we see in about 98% of women. Why would I want to invite them into my happy life and give them the opportunity to suck the life out of a room? I don't antagonise. I sit back, observe, wait for them to show their hand and then respond with the exact amount of respect they deserve. They get what they put out there. Until they reveal themselves I'm very neutral. Like I said right at the beginning, I have a few select few friends who aren't annoying bints. So I'm aware of the fact that there are a few of us still out there who haven't had our brains eaten by feminism, neo-marxism, women's magazines or something really special like Islam. We have our fun. We also enjoy laughing at the demonic fruit bats that almost every poster on here is actually truly concerned about. And here I am just offering up the best advice that both women and men can take: take no shit from no one. Be honest in all you dealings. Select your life partner well. Respect your bf/husband or gf/wife and only accept that same respect back from them. Love openly and passionately. Laugh lots. Get plenty of sex and cook each other up some damn fine meals to keep them happy, healthy and full of warmth and joy.

Then sit back, with popcorn or a glass of wine and get ready to watch the shitshow being offered up by everyone else. Trust me. Life is so much easier when you don't allow yourself or others to complicate it.

[-] RubyWooToo 5 Points 7 months ago

If you can’t get along with 50% of the population, you have a problem.

[-] [deleted] 2 Points 7 months ago


[-] RubyWooToo 3 Points 7 months ago

Nah, her attitude is common among women who prefer beta orbiters to friends.

[-] girlwithabike 4 Points 7 months ago

Yeah, somewhere along the line it became trendy to be a girl-who-does-not-like-other-girls. Usually it's a red flag for bad behavior if a woman says that sort of thing.

[-] bad_girl_bex 0 Points 5 months ago

Trendy? Who a/ cares about such things, or b/ even uses terms like that anymore? Women like to say that it's a "red flag" for something negative, because they know that a chick who isn't going to go along with the inherent bitch code, choosing instead to reject any notions of sisterhood or any of that bollocks, might end up telling blokes that everything they ever suspected (about women being mental) is actually true. Someone like me threatens their peace of mind. It's actually hilarious to see the girlfriends of my other half look at me like I'm evil, when I'm hanging out with the guys. The dudes are always more fun and the looks on the faces of their wags is always priceless.

[-] girlwithabike 3 Points 5 months ago

Was talking to u/rubywootoo not you. Cry for attention much ????

[-] RubyWooToo 3 Points 5 months ago

I don't think other women are as preoccupied with you as you are with yourself.

[-] girlwithabike 2 Points 5 months ago

She's trying to show us how much she doesn't care by responding to two month old comments. She doesn't need women! it's not important if women reject her! She doesn't waste her time with women! (Kinda makes me wonder how she goes about her day to day life - food shopping, working, stuff like that).

She's a little girl who got her feelings hurt by the mean girls in school and never matured enough to get over it (I'm just the result of having allowed myself to actually be manipulated by females when I was younger.). In spite of her claim that she's an excellent judge of character, she doesn't know how to vet for female friendships (Dressing to outdo one another; buying expensive crap to trigger envy in their social circle). She tells us that the best advice in life is to "take no shit from no one" but here she is telling us how much others think she's evil. That's giving more attention to others shit than "none".

I doubt the WAGs care enough about her to even laugh at her behind her back. Those people she thinks are threatened are looking right through her. Her insecurity is palpable in these responses. I honestly hope that this is strictly an internet persona because I pity her if this is really who she is and how she behaves.

I'll continue to maintain that women who can't play nicely with other women are a walking red flag.

cc: /u/Guywithgirlwithabike

[-] RubyWooToo 2 Points 5 months ago

Oh what do we know? I'm sure her future suitor won't mind at all the OP makes no effort to befriend his sister or his Mom, and that he hardly gets invited to parties anymore because she's nasty to his friends' wives.

[-] Guywithgirlwithabike 1 Point 5 months ago

Spoken like a true slag.

[-] bad_girl_bex 1 Point 5 months ago

Are you kidding? It means I don't have to waste my time on 50% of the population. That's a big time saver. That's the opposite of a problem.