Want to fix this? Easy to say, hard to do. Here's the secret:

Figure out your self worth without relying upon others for it.

It's a lesson men are intrinsically better at. It's something that women are bad at because they are so relationship-based. But to not care about what those women are getting from men, you have to stop measuring your self worth when compared to others and derive it solely from within.

It's hard to do.

It helps to read philosophers on the subject. I like Jordan B. Peterson for this. Only when you stop comparing yourself to others, and start looking at yourself solely in regards to how far you have come compared to your previous self, will you be free of this envy and insecurity.

The added bonus is that a girl who is self-confident and justifiably secure in her own self-worth is incredibly sexy regardless of how she looks.

Don't get too caught up in the social aspects of college. You are there to study and develop a degree so you can further your career. Any friendships you do create in the meantime or any groups you fall in with are a bonus, and should not be a distraction as to why you are there in the first place.

Don't feel like you need to 'fit in' with anyone. Just simply focus on your studies and yourself and your future. Understand that you don't need to be reliant on other people's approval to be a complete person. Friendships are about quality, not quantity.

I totally get what you mean. I'm in my third year of college, and the 3 types of women are almost obviously divided by this. However, if you keep trying to squeeze yourself into a hole you don't fit in, it's just gonna make you miserable in the long run. You don't have to be a Thottie, you don't have to be Against the Patriarchy, and you don't have to be a Wallflower. If you like the confidence of the party girls, take that aspect from them without partying and drinking all the time. If you enjoy the kindness of the shy girls, spend time with them during the day or do your schoolwork with them, but find something else to do at night.

You don't have to force yourself into a stereotype. Be friends with everyone and learn from everyone. Now, I'm not saying challenge your morals. Don't stay friends with the party girl who peer pressures you into drinking until you blackout and don't hang around a feminist if she continually puts you down for your beliefs. But there are many women in all of the three categories you've described who are decent human beings and are worthy of being your friend.

This may not be a popular opinion, but I believe that it is best for women to have an abundance mentality when it comes to their friends. Hang around everyone, have an open mind, make tons of friends, and you won't sweat it if one friendship doesn't work out. As long as you share just one thing in common with someone, be it a love for food and fashion, having the same class, or even just being at the same event together, you can befriend them.

If you still can't find anyone to be friends with, join a club. Most universities have hundreds of options to choose from. Join a club about anything that you're passionate about and you'll be surrounded by people who are passionate about it as well. If you're warm and friendly to these people in the same club as you, it'll be almost impossible to not make friends with them!

Simple. Get a stem degree

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OK, envy, the green eyed monster. I can just talk about my experience.

When I was young, I used to compare myself to other women. I realized that was stupid. I realized there's no way to be the most beautiful woman ever. Even if you are Marilyn Monroe at age 25, someone else likes brunettes, or likes Asian, or prefers blacks or likes them fatter. I realized there was something in me that made me happy when I looked pretty in the mirror: I thought "this must come from when the pretty girls survived after a war or something, it's atavic... it's also atavic to shit in the woods and I don't let that make me less civilized". I wanted to like other women, not envy them. I chose to practice an art, to observe beauty instead of focusing on mine (though I take care of the bit that's mine). Drawing and taking pictures made me see beautiful women and girls as art... I now enjoy the contemplation of everything that's beautiful: animals, buildings, plants, landscapes, craftmanship pieces and of course, humans. I sometimes even pity men because they can rarely enjoy the beauty of women without being pestered by erections.

As for male attention, I also thought a bit about this back in my early teens.

What is plenty among men? Lust. Being "hot" will make you gain the lust of men. And what is the lust of men worth? Well... considering men have unwanted erections, many of them automatically in the morning... Is there any real power in getting a guy to have an erection? Uh... no. Guys have erections. Unless you're severely disfigured, that's automatic.

What do men fight for among themselves? Respect. Respect is scarce. Respect must be earned. Respect will gain you... well, respect. If you just want sex, being "hot" will do. If you want a long time relationship, being hot may help, but respect is paramount. There is no long term relationship without respect.

Plus, what's the point of being so hot everyone wants to bang you? Do you want to be fucked by everyone or just by one special guy whom you want to be there after the sex? If that is the case, then what you want (at least what I want) is respect from all men, love and lust from a special one. (If there is lust from other men, there is, I can't avoid it, but I will not seek it, because regardless of what some women say, there is ZERO power in causing erections in men. There may be money in it if you're a stripper, but power? Nope).

So... if you choose that the most important thing to earn from them is the respect of most and the love of a special one... then other women are no threat. Look, all those women are hot. Congratulations, many men pay attention to them... because they all want to fuck them. Do you want to fuck all those men? No? Then you do not need all that male attention, what you need is respect.

I also thought, when I was about 16. Is it worth the trouble to do 300 squats a day to have a perfect ass? Then I realized that perfect asses got a shot at the "Thong song" video as "ass number 3".

Yeaaaah, sounds glamorous. Nope, I'd rather study, become intelligent, empathetic, hard working, trustworthy, honourable, and get me some of that rare respect (because it's hard to gain the respect of men).

If you have a group of friends who all want respect and maybe, if possible, the love of one special man, then there's no place for envy, since you won't be fighting for male attention.

As for finding friends:

1. Look for those who are nice people, even if they are less interesting. You may be able to explore new activities together: go surfing, go to museums, organize a reading club, a car maintenance tricks club (will save you money), a finance club, or whatever. If they are uninteresting, you might be able to learn together. You can only know if you try to meet them.

2. Avoid those who would get you in trouble. If you spend a lot of time with people who drink or do drugs, you might get in trouble. Even if you avoid the constant and relentless peer pressure and curiosity doesn't get the better of you, you might be surrounded by horny drunk young men stronger than you, or find yourself in a room where someone owes someone else drug money. I'll left you to wonder which of the groups of girls might be more dangerous for you to hang out with. Mind you, I've had some very promiscuous friends and they were great girls, but I didn't hang with them in unsafe environments, only in academic ones. Because I didn't like being surrounded by drunk men at their peak of both their physical strength and horniness. Made me somewhat nervous.

3. I'd go and play the feminists all the videos of Christina Hoff Sommers' Factual feminist youtube channel. "What do you think about male circumcision, shouldn't we fight it?" "It's all great to get 50% of women in the high echelons of society, but what about pushing men up from the lower tiers? Most people in jail are men, what can be done to avoid that?" I'd like to see their reactions. Naaah, I wouldn't have dared at your age, I just thought it would be fun.
   There's probably nice people in all three groups. Trying to find the ones that will make good friends despite having different worldviews from yours will be part of your learning process. Some will disappoint you, some may betray you... there's just one way of getting to find the good ones, and that's trying to meet some of them.

I wrote too much. I just wish you the best and hope all these insights were somewhat useful.

I think you can still have a great time in college without going hog wild and making bad decisions. Trust me that you don’t have to get blackout wasted to have fun at a party (and you’ll save yourself the embarrassment of throwing up in your own laundry hamper!). Have a glass of champagne and dance and chat with people. Tailgate at the game and shotgun 1 beer instead of 30. Be the girl who brings awesome, homemade wings. Seriously, if you can get through college without getting embarrassingly drunk to the point of self-loathing then you will be far ahead of most other girls.

College campuses have sooooo many groups to get involved in, most of which are free. Whitewater rafting, knitting, mushroom foraging, book club, Christian club - you name it, they’ve got it! So start exploring. You’ll make your best friends that way.

Keep in shape and find other girls who like to stay fit.

Seriously college is such a unique, glorious time in life. Don’t waste it.

You're not gonna miss anything by not hanging out with party girls or open feminists. There's not much good there, unless you want to be a party girl or a feminist. Something tells me that's not the case with you.

Don't be envious of the attention the party girls get. The kind of attention those girls get is the same kind of attention leftover meeting food gets in an office building. People are only in line for it because it's free and easy to get to -- not because it's quality.

Use your time to meet a variety of people, improve your RMV and SMV. Don't fall in the trap of trying to get validation through sex and cheap male attention. Those girls are trading their best years for high times, and they're gonna be hurtin' when the wall comes.

If you're looking for a 'tribe' at college, join clubs. Get involved with activities for your major. Volunteer with Civic organizations.

Good luck!

Most of my best friends are feminists and honestly - they’re pretty wonderful. We have mutual respect and acceptance. We have hobbies in common that we enjoy. We agree on more in life than we disagree on and we don’t get salty about stuff. All I’m saying is you can find good women/people in most groups ( except for hate groups obvs). Try to get past the typing and try to get to know people as individuals! They might just surprise you.

There are individuals that aren't stereotypical on campus. I happened to find my group through a sorority (we went to a research/stem school so the environment of social sororities was very different from typical). However, I also made plenty of friends other ways. Friendship comes from familiarity and common ground. Therefore, you will naturally become friends with people you see often. Here are I think the four main ways to make friends in college and ill talk about each of them.

1. Living situation:

   The easiest way to make friends at college is to become friends with those you live with. You see them everyday, so its convenient and there's usually a whole bunch of conversation starters available due to living/studying together. Most freshman will make an initial friend group with who they live with before branching out to other groups. One of my best friends is a girl from my floor freshman year.

2. Classes:

   Another way to make friends is through your classes. This is a little harder due to people changing majors and not having one their first year. However, after people get locked down in their major, you start seeing all the same people in your classes as you get more specialized. When you work on group projects, you're forced to interact with these people and friendship can come from it. I became friends with my circuits lab partner my sophomore year due to working together every week. The nurses at my school also all became very close because they have all the same classes together.

3. Clubs/Sports:

   This is the best way to make friends in college. It puts you in a group that has a common interest and therefore built-in common ground for friendship. Team sports are great if you're into that. If not, anything where the club has an activity (as opposed to general meetings since it gets you interacting is a great way to do it). This could be theater, service-oriented, or anything really. I joined my university program board and made a ton of great connections due to the environment of working with others to plan events. Joining a sorority was also how I met some of my best friends.

4. Parties:

   This is not the best way to make friends, but is worth noting. Usually, the party people is a group that you will see time and time again often at the same locations. When you start showing up to those same places again and again, you'll start to get to know them. Granted the value of person you find always partying may not be the best friend but they don't have to become your intimate friends. It can be fun to have casual friends as well. People you can say hi to and hangout for a bit during mealtimes or between classes.

Making friends in college can take time. People you thought were your friends freshman year may end up not being your friends when you graduate. My first close friend and I ended up not being friends half way through the year due to floor drama. One of my current best friends lived on my floor, but we didn't really connect until late in the fall semester. I didn't have a solid friend group until about the middle of my sophomore year. It can take time to find your social niche. Don't get discouraged and be open and friendly to people, especially those you may think you won't get along with. I initially didn't like one of my best friends, but now I consider her my closest (due to similar personalities) and she was the maid of honor at my wedding.

Don't act haughty and superior to people because of their choices if you dont agree with them. Act pleasant and agreeable, and like-minded people will be drawn to you. People talk on campuses, and if you're rude to a few people due to things that are the norm on campuses you can get a reputation for being a b*tch.

Bottom-line, be friendly, join clubs and you'll find your group.

Which of the 3 are you?