Hi everyone! I appreciate that these posts can be annoying but I am genuinely unsure whether I have a chance with this guy. So basically, I have been good friends with this guy in my college course for a few months. He is gorgeous, smart, confident and we get on extremely well. We are in the same friend group, and although he's very attractive I never really saw him as more than a friend. That is, until recently. I don't know what changed, I just know that I really fancy him all of a sudden. I would be considered very attractive, an 8-9, and he has told me several times drunk that he thought I was good-looking. We are both tactile people and are comfortable touching each other in a non-romantic way, but I am noticing it more recently. Perhaps only because I want to though. We have recently been in situations where it was just the two of us and have ended up hand-holding casually. He always looks me right in the eye when we are talking. I only really noticed this recently when I made a really big effort to return it (I am terrible at eye contact). I know that he would like a girlfriend because he recently went on a date (not something to worry about, he told me he wasn't that into her romantically). I appreciate that it is probably difficult to know whether he likes me owing to the fact that you don't know either of us, but maybe you could give me some advice on how to encourage any advances he might be making?
drews0n 10y ago
Believe me as a man, there is no such thing as a girl "friend", unless you or your male counterpart fall under these three exceptions 1) Either one of you are homosexual 2) Either one of you are unattractive 3) Either one of you are bound my marriage
If you are both single, find each other mutually attractive, and are both heterosexual, your relationship can never be a platonic friendship. . I find most woman truly believe that a man and woman can be just friends. Unfortunately, the reality is quite the contrary. At least for the guy.
If none of you girls believe me, just ask your attractive guy friend (who falls under the criteria of the previous paragraph) if he wants to have sex. I almost guarantee he'll say yes.
Stinger86 10y ago
I'm a guy and also vouch for this. The guy is almost definitely interested unless he's gay or you're fugly haha.
sierrasecho 10y ago
Just wanted to add that even if one (or both) of you are married, it does not preclude romantic (read:sexual) attraction from building. In fact, due to the false permissiveness ("It's fine! We're both married!") It may even be easier for that connection to build, ruining both relationships.
JackGoldsteinWrites 10y ago
Does he go out of his way to spend time with you? Does he respond to texts/calls quickly?
That's basically the easiest way to tell. Men prioritize spending time with girls they like.
vintagegirlgame 10y ago
Ooh this is one of the most fun parts of flirting, don't rush through it because you're just dying to know if he likes you! Build up the tension, use body language to encourage him to touch you, tease him playfully. And don't be afraid to blush and lose your words. Guys find it endearing when you're vulnerable. I would hold off on a straight up "do you like me?" approach. The chase is both thrilling and challenging for a guy so don't rob him of his chance to escalate. If you do get together you'll never be able to recreate those first moments of butterfly tummy and tingles so don't be afraid to draw it out.
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russetrose 10y ago
Thanks for your reply :) You're right with regards to people gossiping; our class is very close and absolutely EVERYBODY knows the moment people get together. We are about to break up for the summer so maybe that will become less of a problem soon. With asking him out, I was worried about coming on too strong and scaring him off (especially because I don't know for sure that he likes me back) but I suppose it's better to find out rather than keep on trying to guess how he feels!
ragnarockette 10y ago
The same thing happened to be and my friend!
We went out to hear some music one night and after a few glasses of wine I blurted out that I liked him. He kissed me and we've been together ever since.
He said he had been considering making a move for months, but didn't want there to be awkwardness in the friend group if I wasn't into it.
russetrose 10y ago
That's such a sweet story :) And encouraging too, haha. I was hoping something like that will maybe happen for me but it almost seems like it would be too good to be true! There are a few upcoming events that we will be at together so I'll see if anything happens there
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russetrose 10y ago
Yeah I've only ever told a guy outright that I liked him once and he told me that, although he liked me too, he didn't want a relationship at that stage. Understandable, but I guess it scared me a little that it might happen again! I've been dropping pretty obvious hints. but I guess I might just need to bite the bullet and say it
johnnycaustic 10y ago
Keep making a big effort to return eye contact. Practice makes perfect. It's a skill that will pay dividends for life, so get it licked now.
But when you can't look at his eyes any more...stare at his lips. Or look down for a second or two, then back up at his eyes or lips. Done right, it looks a bit submissive and a bit coy.
When you're alone and have the opportunity, stand in front of him, a little too close to him. You'll know you have it right when you're feeling a bit uncomfortable.
While looking at his eyes or lips, bite your lower lip.
Put your fingertips on his chest for three seconds to punctuate whatever you're saying.
Basic girl game.
If you don't have the guts to pull these things off at first, try and try again.
If he doesn't get the message, feel free to escalate to "You look so cute in that [clothing]" and, if necessary, "Do you want to kiss me?" (The last is what my very first girlfriend had to resort to, 'cause then I had no confidence in reading signals at all.)
PCAdrian is right that your being in the same friend group raises the barrier to his hitting on you. The good news is that, if he's said "several times" that you're good looking, your odds of rejection are verrrrrry low. (Your odds of wussing out, on the other hand...)
VasiliyZaitzev 10y ago
Man here.
A "power move" would be to kiss him and say, "Well, you can stop wondering what that would be like, now."
Another one would be "Look, I know you have a crush on me, but you need to make a move, because the suspense is killing me. Also, it's my day in the 'Will [name of guy friend] make a move on **russetrose**?' pool."
Worst case, you can play it off as humor. Best case: New Boyfriend.
Good luck!
TheBallsackIsBack 10y ago
Just let him know you're interested