What is the problem?

Bf graduated from college two years ago. He had a high paying part time job and also worked freelance. In total he would work 6-8 hrs a day. After graduation he told me that he wanted to rest for a month before looking for a job related to his field. After that he wanted to wait 3 months. Then it was 6 months. Then it was a year. During that time I had 3 jobs and resented him how he had so much free time and was making more money than me (I was working 12-14 hrs a day and also taking care of the house). I was struggling paying my bills and he showed up with a motorcycle one day. Turned out that all that time he was saving money to get his bike, if he had took a starting job on his field he wouldn't have been able to buy it. But then the project we were working was cancelled (we were working together in his part time job) and had money issues for a while. He then got a full time job at the same company, but it is a grave yard shift and he hates it. Im only working freelance with very few clients (I've been looking for a job for months) so he can't look for a job on his field because of the hours he works and also because he doesnt have any experience so his salary wouldnt be enough. He is now regretting his decision of spending a whole year sleeping most of the day and working a few hours a day to buy the bike.

What are your faults?

When he graduated and I noticed that he wasn't going to look for a job I told him in every way I could find that he was going to regret it, that then it was the time to start his career (he was 26), that he was going to struggle later in life. When I got the message that no matter what I said it was not going to make any effect in him I told him that I trusted his decision but to think about it a little more. He recently confessed me that he used to see me as "the enemy" and he thought that all I wanted was to control him and since he saw me as the enemy he did the opposite of what I told him.

Why do you think this problem manifested?

I think he feels insecure about not doing a good job in his field. All his friends started working before they even graduated and now most of them have very good jobs and some are even working overseas. My bf is older than all of them and he feels like a loser (his words).

What steps have you already taken to try and resolve the problem?

I encourage him to take courses related to his field so he could feel more confident. Im also helping him fix his migratory situation so looking for a job isnt as difficult (he is a foreigner in my country and most companies refuse to hire foreigner because the process is a PITA, but since we've been living together for more than 5 years he can get a permit through me). Its been a year since the last time I nagged him or told him that I knew this was going to happen. I take care of all the house work so he doesn't get any extra stress. I also help him with his freelance job.

How long has this been an issue?

Around 9 months since he realized that he wasn't even getting interviews because of his lack of experience. It's been getting worst for the last month.

Are you making a mountain out of a mole-hill?

I don't think so. I'm really worried about his future and I hate that he feels this way about himself.

How's your bedroom life right now? Are you taking care of his needs emotionally and physically?

He stopped wanting sex a few years ago, we only had sex maybe 1 a month (we were having other issues that are now resolved). This year I've been putting effort on working on myself and the relationship and now we do it once a week, on his day off. He says that he feels stressed during the day and when he wants to have sex im asleep (he finishes working at 4am). I told him to wake me up whenever he felt like having sex no matter the time (Since I work freelance it is not an issue if I stay longer in bed in the morning) but he says that when he see me sleeping he doesn't want to wake me up.