2y ago The Hub
@TiberiusBravo87 Yes yes, so glad you know about nootropics. I had lists of the ones I wanted to try based on good reviews. Before I discovered "smart drugs" as they call it, I had watched Limitless (with Bradley Cooper when the movie came out) and was fascinated with NZT-48, so I started looking for the real-life alternative of that fantasy susbstance, that's when I discovered Modafinil. The feedback people had from it convinced me to try it, and my doctor gave me a prescription for it. It was expensive so I couldn't buy it as regularly but for the time I'd used it, I noticed my sleep patterns improve (falling asleep smoothly, not waking up groggy or throughout the night), had more punctuality with my tasks, like I had no clutter in my head. I really noticed a difference.
I haven't ordered or had any in over 5 years, but I am absolutely willing to give nootropics the proper shot they deserve this time.
I use to take Phosphatidylserine and L-Theanine with my morning lifting stack. Did wonders back then to boost the already present motivation and discipline I had when younger & eager. Along with Taurine and others.
I use to frequent that wiki, thanks again for bringing it back up to my attention for me. And yes I agree & know, these aren't replacements for no work, they just help achieve the work better by getting the sidetracking & difficulty to a manageable level. Like steroids, not planning on sitting down & expecting gains. (no I dont take em just example lol).
Read More2y ago The Hub
Regardless of how some of you may see me or think of me.
Just know, I don't care how you came off, this was the first time in years that anyone gave enough of a shit to even listen first, let alone formulate replies with context.
So I simply want to, once again, express my gratitude. I appreciate it...
2y ago The Hub
@TiberiusBravo87 I definitely wouldn't put it past me. Yes, sure. I am currently addicted and use it as a crutch. I don't deny it did damage but I guess I don't get hung up on it because of the good it brought me.
I shouldn't even be here, almost shot myself years ago when I was ready to leave this planet. Ended up jamming and I took psychs then and there. Got rid of it after that. Only recently felt like I needed one again then part of me told me to ask for help, what did we have to lose now?
Yes. I'm addicted. I wish I wasn't. But I'm also grateful of the tears it alleviated, the chaos it sedated, and the laughs it brought me when I couldn't even smile once a month when sober.
Thank you brother..... I mean it.
2y ago The Hub
@JamesSkepp Thank you so much my brother... I mean it... Thanks a lot.
2y ago The Hub
without the cannabis I get distraught, angry and unmanageable
That means issues you need to work through. You don't get angry for no reason. Or do you plan to get high every day for entirety of your life, which I assume is next 50-70 years?
indicas, they make my body relaxed enough to be sleepy early. Only sativas, to help my alertness, concentration, creativity.
I 100% believe this "cannabis for this, cannabis for that" is an absolute snake oil since the common active substances in there are the same. IOW people just like to get high and placebo kicks in.
engraved neural pathways
You got chemo prescribed, so at some point an oncologist took a look at you and to get to an oncologist you need a referral from a doctor.
Unless you can show me CAT scan of your brain from a neurologist saying you have physical brain damage I'm gonna call this an excuse to unload your problems and solution seeking into another person and another cope. Seen this a million times, especially in people who dug into a deep hole and both have tough time getting out and not really much need to get out too.
If you don't have physical brain damage (you don't for 99%), your "neural pathways" can be re-wired, so to speak. In short if you repeat something 1000 times it's gets "engraved". So now you have to "engrave" something else as a reaction, response or thought patter to previous impulses or lack of the impulses. IOW you learned and exercised bad habits, now it's time to learn and exercise new ones.
TRP sidebar, but the overload
TRP sidebar is basic info, short and to the point. If you can't understand it at once, chunk it down for a month by reading each article twice a day.
lack of real life progress
You either need to work on your looks or your game. And FYI while you're just starting the "looks and game" improvement it's not uncommon to have no results for months and get rejected hundreds of times. Some months ago there was a post from a guy who pulled himself from AFC loser to getting laid and he said he did few hundred approaches before he even got a date.
Secondly you are on TRP now. We don't get depressed or down over not getting a date here, do expect sympathy and understanding and solutions, don't expect it will extend for next 10y especially if you can't (or won't, even slowly) un-fuck yourself. Read the sidebar until you understand how un-fucking-important is to have woman in your life, especially given your current medical priorities and the fact that you probably give off the vibe of a homeless junkie. Paradoxically once you understand that lack of importance you'll be in best position to have a girl attracted to you, provided you fix the rest too.
significantly more brain inflammation
Inflammation is not permanent. IOW fix your depression first. Secondly, it's entirely possible (VERY likely ) you do not even have depression, just a stack of well entrenched bad habits that need to go.
I get that chemo is tough, but chemo is going to stop at some point so you need to plan to stop smoking weed b/c your "brain fog" might be from you being exhausted after chemo but it might as well be from the weed and absolute lack of engaging your brain and body for a long time.
Read More2y ago The Hub
@JamesSkepp Yeah everything's great. Just a couple touches though:
1- I don't smoke cigarettes, but without the cannabis I get distraught, angry and unmanageable. I've tried quitting cold turkey, even as well as in the hospital stays when covid restrictions forbade me from going outside my wing to have a toke outside to have the appetite to eat with chemo's nausea. But now I smoke it strictly to not go crazy. I often attempt to see how long it takes until I need to smoke again. But I never ever smoke indicas, they make my body relaxed enough to be sleepy early. Only sativas, to help my alertness, concentration, creativity. It hasn't brought me the results I want, but it did its job by fending off other obstacles that probably wouldn't have let me come here and ask for help at all.
2- the reason I need either psychs or medication is from the engraved neural pathways from all my habits, reactions and behaviours. Im self aware enough to recognize and catch every thing I say and do that turns my interactions into failure, in real time, but find it beyond difficult to opt out of those patterns. I know repetitiveness is what changes it, but the repetition fails after a few attempts because 1 or 2 rejections and I get rising heartrate, high blood pressure, anxiety and panic attacks at worst when I get home after enough rejections. My actions have created paths for my neurons that I've tried and failed multiple times. At some point I have to realize rowing the boat with my arms is getting me nowhere.
I don't know what jobs I will find here since I've been looking from time to time and everything is on lockdown or not hiring, plus this city has too much trauma and bad memories, being here is unhealthy. I really just want to make an appropriate decision on where to move to because nothing will ever happen here. Its small and it hinders me.
4- I read the TRP sidebar, but the overload and lack of real life progress depresses me into thinking I'm just reading but not absorbing fully from not being able to apply it.
6- Neurologist won't see me without a referral. If you know a way for me to get in touch with one I'd appreciate it greatly.
(The research showed that people with longer periods of untreated depression, lasting more than a decade, had significantly more brain inflammation compared to those who had less than 10 years of untreated depression. In an earlier study , Dr.Feb 26, 2018) -www.camh.ca/en/camh-news-and-stories/over-years-depression-changes-the-brain#:~:text=the%20research%20showed%20that%20people,in%20an%20earlier%20study%20%2c%20dr.
How does long term depression affect the brain? Recent studies suggest that the increased level of stress associated with depression may raise levels of glucocorticoid. This steroid can have harmful effects on the nervous system, damaging a region of the brain called the hippocampus that is crucial to creating long-term memories.
(Teens with Obesity May Have Brain Damage That Produces Poor Eating Habits. Researchers say MRIs have revealed signs of brain damage in teens with obesity. They say the damage may affect a hormone in the brain that signals to people when they're full and should stop eating. Nov 24, 2019)
What does a brain with depression look like? Image result Grey matter in the brain refers to brain tissue that is made up of cell bodies and nerve cells. People with depression were shown to have thicker grey matter in parts of the brain involved in self-perception and emotions. This abnormality could be contributing to the problems someone with depression has in these areas.Aug 16, 2019
(In stage two—“Withdrawal/Negative Affect”—the dopamine flood has run its course, and there is activation of the extended amygdala, an area associated with pain processing and fear conditioning. The resulting negative emotional state leads to activation of brain stress systems and dysregulation of anti-stress systems.) www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/pmc4600144/
These are some of the subjects that convinced me 15 years of those definitely left marks.
Read More2y ago The Hub
@Antelope Quick notes:
-I don't eat because it doesn't give me energy it makes me lazy, plus I use to be overweight so I'm over stuffing my face, also last but not least, the loose skin I have gets consumed by the body when fasting long enough to trigger autophagy, which also helps me save money. I do drink plenty of water though, but periodically, bunch of water followed by regular average amounts then back up.
-I have adjustable weight dumbbells up to 80lbs since all gyms around me are closed unless you live in a building who has one which I don't.
-Psychs are great, but I'm not making progress with them cause I can't get my hands on them, haven't taken any in years... :(
2y ago The Hub
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Start with going cold turkey on every addiction/bad habit you have. You're allowed to smoke cigarettes, provided you smoke like one per day as a reward for doing a good job today. Tangential to that, no drug or addiction is going to fix you or make you succeed in anything, so you either realize you are wasting your money and time on things that don't help or you can stop reading the rest.
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Remove EVERY activity from your life save for work, eating and sleep. Buy a notebook and a pen. Each page is a day. You plan next day the evening before. Scheduled activities that occur periodically are planned week in advance. At the and of each day you also write what did you learn today and what went well/wrong. This is to put your mind to thinking about what is going on with you, what you did accomplish and what you need to work on. If you think about that, you don't think about the shrooms or how bad you have it.
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Now that you have free time to manage, put working out ON A SCHEDULE. Meaning you workout on Mondays from 4pm to 5pm or whatever. Stick to the schedule. Start slow, add more of whatever you're doing. I suppose you can start lifting weights from the get go, but if you can't do that yet or have real brain damage preventing you from increasing the bloodflow suddenly do bodyweight/pushups/squats etc.
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Read entire r/TRP sidebar. When you're done with that, use search bar to look for workout, lift, game, date or any other keyword in r/TRP, sort by top and start reading/applying. This is your second habit. If you have some spare time left, you can ask on forums.red about more "advanced" books like philosophy, economy, culture, psychology etc, but that's tertiary to physical acitvity and r/TRP untill you get the simplest stuff handled.
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I'm pretty sure if you really do have brain damage no psychologist is going to help you. If you don't, chances are he won't be able to help you either as most of them are a bunch of fucking grifters with no idea how to fix people beyond platitudes you can read in any generic self help book.
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Go to a neurologist, do a brain CAT scan or whatever they do to check for physical brain damage. Chances are you don't have any.
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Until you have an actual paper in your hand confirming the result of the scan that says "we found this and that damage" you are to assume you have no brain damage and all of your failures so far are the result of you being a fucking lazy bum.
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You are allowed to fail. You are allowed so start over. You're not allowed to fail and start over 50 times in a row. At some point you will HAVE to quit bad habits and start doing things that move you up. Make sure you're not starting for the 20th time on some trivial thing.
- Any form of "spiritual/emotional/religious/philosophical journey" or "getting high on drugs to find the answer" is destined to fail since a book or a shroom isn't going to do the pushups, go to work, get a haircut or talk to that cutie. As much as this or that author is right YOU are the person to actually DO the stuff needed. Most of the stuff needed doesn't require ANY "spiritual" book to figure out, do and stick to.
This sperg obsessive-compulsive list/explanation is designed to fill your time and activities (and thus your mind) with what brings the most results in least time - "how do i do xyz? what else can I do? how did i do? what did i learn?".
Women are the byproduct of who you are. Put the ACTUAL work in, you'll get the results. Every thing you listed so far is a intellectual/emotional cope that will fix nothing. You don't get better at xyz by reading a book - you get better at it by reading a book and APPLYING it. I'm pretty sure you've read a lot but never did a lot. Majority of fixes you need to apply are simple, simplistic even, but they only work if you DO stuff. There is no magic inner game pill that will fix you looking, behaving and giving of the vibes of a homeless nihilist junkie.
We can't do it for you and we won't do it for you. It's ok to come here and ask for help and it's very likely you will get support, but ultimately it's up to you to actually do the things you need to do and there's no way around it.
Read More2y ago The Hub
@adam-l I'm not I'm just giving my best conclusion based on all the studies I've read. If the people who participated were labeled that, I can only IMAGINE what the accumulation of every category of deterioration is called... Also I've had extremely momentary bouts of motivation, hope, excitement & ambition. Yet all these problems persisted each time, which led me to finally believe I was right, and only became more right as time went on. I don't want to be right. I'd do anything for the right people to show me all the ways I was wrong and how to get back on track.
I know for a fact, unfortunately, that online help isn't what will do the trick. I need online help to help me find real help, the right real-life help.