If she brings it up it’s a bit of a red flag I think.

Yup, but don't read a book to figure out what is important to you. I'd rather be fat and 100% happy then ripped and 65% happy

Get a "mission". A rewarding hobby to invest in. Fitness is obvious, I find refuge in learning stuff about music and growing things.

So true. More often if you don't feel like you could "lose it" mentally

You got it

Same with cellphones, and look at us go.