3y ago The Hub
@thereal i was talking to my brother about this the other day. Say the same thing every time. the same opener and keep it simple, "hey I wanted to meet you real quick. Im (name). What's your name?" (hold out hand for a handshake) you will ingrain that opener into your head that you can say it in your sleep. it's so simple. if she's not receptive you can push a little further but whatever. But the only way to ingrain the habit is to do it habitually. During the summer when I first got back into game I literally held myself to an approach rate of 90% or better for 3 months as a goal. I did roughly 300 hundred approaches in that time and missed some but I made it more about the goal then the women. By the end of that time frame I was so conditioned to just go and talk to any woman that I thought was attractive that it was a no brainer. I recommend making it about what you can do and setting a goal for the month or so. e.g. "I will make at least 80% of all approaches I see on girls that are above a certain threshold (for me that's a 6)" and track your progress. If you miss one whatever, but now you need to hit 8 more to hit your goal ratio. So it motivates you. By the time you get through with the time frame you should've developed a better frame about approaching and realized that it's not that big of a deal. Just keep it simple and say the same thing over and over and over, every time. No gamey or weird shit. keep it simple.
Read More3y ago The Hub
@INNASKILLZ2K20 bro thanks for the read and comment. i posted this on r/asktrp and some dude was like 'don't let bitches make you think this much' > jesus shit like that just makes me confident that the majority of the guys over there are keyboard jockeys. anyway appreciate the input homie.
3y ago The Hub
@Namenooneknows Love this post, brother.
I wholeheartedly agree with your vibe...
It's ridiculous, we believe all these stupid 'social norms' and rules.
Of course you can approach at the gym. You can talk to girls anywhere.
What you don't want to do is talk to girls like a fucking creep, or a pua artist, or desperately trying to get a number. That shit is weird, creepy and it's THAT that girls don't want. I don't blame them. Imagine a fucking male stranger you've never met coming up to you and blatantly hitting on you or asking for a number?
They also don't want you talking to them, and then going straight up to another girl in front of her. Be smart about this shit.
But honestly, if you can be cool, laid back and have some banter with no pressure then you're fine.
It's about basic social skill.
Your idea of 'consent' is a HUGE thing. Not because of the literal idea of consent in today's Metoo culture.
With any new person, part of the deal is allowing them to enter into the exchange with you. I practice this in new relationships with clients. We have that conversation, some banter, build a little rapport. But I never push my agenda on them. I casually lay out how I like to work, what we might work on, and ask them if it sounds good to them. Do they want to give it a go?
You can take that attitude and frame anywhere. Nobody wants to feel forced or pushed into things. It's uncomfortable.
Same with girls. Fucking show her you're a guy who has the balls to polarize her and ask for a number, but also totally cool, calm, laid back enough to let her say no.
Read More3y ago The Hub
Alright fuckers this one is straight off the top. if you've done your homework i.e. reading the sidebar, working on SMV (in everyway YOU have control over), going out and actually APRROACHING; then this should hit home.
Preface: I HAVE done my homework. These thoughts came to me as a way if strengthening my frame after an interaction at the gym that didn't quite go how I wanted it to. On that note, YOU WILL HAVE MANY MANY interactions that don't go how you want them to go i.e. compliance from the girl and interest that can lead to somewhere. However, the interactions that you have that don't go where you want them to go serve a couple of purposes. 1) they make you appreciate interactions with women that do go where you want them to go 2) they cause you to come back to the drawing board and analyze WHAT YOU COULD'VE DONE BETTER (within your control) and 3) they strengthen your metal frame.
Here is the interaction that caused the thought: I approached a girl at the gym that was attractive, opened, bantered, began to find out logistics and number close. Then right when I had the phone in my hand taking the number, another girl that I had talked to previous, (but not escalated on because in the course of banter I found out she was in highschool) came up and began to very aggressively confront me.
Interaction: >18 y/o Girl> you need to stop talking to girls at the gym!
Me> Why?
Girl> Because they don't want to be talked to!
Me> That's not always true, I actually met my last girl friend of 2 years in by talking to her in the gym
Girl> Well you need to stop it anyway!
Me> Even if the interaction doesn't go anywhere romantic it's nice to know people and have friends when you're in a social setting where you see other people repeatedly. Aren't you friendly? (I like this question because it's loaded. Unless the girl is a complete and total cunt. Which is unlikely she has to agree that she is friendly and if she does then you've framed the interaction for future interactions that demonstrate that you're not a weird guy who can be 'friends' with a girl when she is not sexually available. Note: in interactions where I don't see women again i.e. nightgame/daygame I could give a fuck less about having women as friends but in a repeated social setting having women friends that are attractive lends you social proof and shows that you can meet and sustain relationships ;) that aren't 'based on sex.'
Girl> yea I'm friendly. But she's in highschool and I'm in highschool and you talked to me and now you're talking to her.
Me> [surprised look at new girl] You're in highschool? (She confirms) In that case never mind. But when it came to you (directed at hostile girl) I didn't hit on you because you were in highschool.
Aside: At this point none of this logic is penetrating this entitled, cocky 18 y/o's thick skull and she continues on her track of completely being a cunt. So I decide to roll off.
Me> Well it was good to see you and good to meet you. I'll talk to you guys later.
I bounced back to my weight routine. Now there was a ton of thoughts going through my mind. 1) I could've been hostile right back but that would've came off as SUPER FUCKING WEIRD and any outsider wouldn't have understood the nuance behind my stance so confrontation was the last thing I wanted 2) the confidence that this 18 y/o girl had in making it seem odd that I was talking to girls in a direct yet friendly way, actually caused me to question whether what I was doing was right 3) should I continue forward with this course of action in the future
Ok so here is where the gold lies in this whole shitball of an interaction. I consulted everything I have learned from redpill sidebar and other postings and experiences then asked myself did her argument have merit? The answer is emphatically "No" - I always ask "Hey, can I meet you real quick?" if the girl is receptive then boom I'm in. If not - then I roll off. Consent gentlemen - it's something that we need to be very aware of in an age where looking at someone 'the wrong way' can be misconstrued as assault.
Is there anything wrong with going after what you want as a man, so long as you abide morals and respect other people in the process? "HELL NO!" In fact so many men have adopted a feminine perspective that "life happens to them" - which I have come to find is vastly sub-optimal in the pursuit of women. If you think otherwise ask yourself, when was the last time an attractive woman opened you? I'm pretty damn good looking and the answer to that question as I dig through the memory bank is like pretty much never. SO as men YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN - YOU MUST LEAD. The idea that 'approaching,' 'going after what you want' or 'making things happen' is weird but it's weird to female's who don't see why someone would have to make things happen - and to men that are brainwashed into expecting the feminine imperative to provide them pussy if they tow the line. It's weird to attractive female's because they LITERALLY DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT IF THEY'RE ATTRACTIVE AND LIFE WILL HAPPEN TO THEM.
Unfortunately, the feminine perspective has been so ingrained as being the correct perspective that many men won't take action to actively improve THEIR lives - they've been brainwashed to think that life will happen to them. Well guess what motherfuckers, unless you're a gay man and other men want to court you like men do women - you're going to have to go out and make your life how you want it.
Is it abnormal to approach women? Yes. No doubt because the majority of men are so terrified of being rejected that they come up with a million rationalizations about this and that and never fucking do it. So yes approaching is abnormal but it's the best way FOR YOU to get experience with women and get comfortable interacting with them and if you want to get laid you need to be comfortable interacting with them. And if normal isn't getting you RESULTS it's time to consider how much you want to keep being normal.
Also, as you do more approaches the more natural it becomes to YOU and it starts to be fun. Believe me, I have met some great girls that are fun to talk to even if we're not fucking. But I wouldn't have been able to appreciate the good interactions if I hadn't had shitball interactions like the one listed above. Also my frame is strengthened for going through that because I had to reaffirm my thoughts on approaching. >Is approaching abnormal?>Yes>But is it the best way for me to grow?>Yes>Will there be any downside really if things don't go well?>Not really>Even if they say 'fuck off'>Yep, even if they say 'fuck off'>So then I should keep approaching but in a calibrated, consent oriented way?>ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY
Lastly, by believing that approaching is weird you and choosing not to approach you put yourself in a scarcity position. I.e. women control the amount and channels through which you can get pussy and when there is scarcity the price and perceived value goes through the roof. This is why women can demand such a high price for pussy because blue pill guys are willing to pay whatever because they think that pussy is SO HARD TO GET. It is in women's best interest to convince men that approaching is weird because it literally convinces men that their best channel to meet women is 'wrong/weird.' Then the only channels to meet women are 'female approved sources' like dating apps and social circle.
Literally, start approaching and watch as you feel like you have more options and you could care less if one 3 minute interaction doesn't go well because there is a literally another one around the corner. Seriously, I have already done 6 approaches today while running errands. Anyway that's it. Leave some thoughts below :D happy hunting.
Read More3y ago The Hub
Alrighty guys, I want to get some feedback. Just came off of my first test cycle. I feel tired all of the time and I don't really care to engage with women anymore. When I was on it I was a goddamn machine. I would talk to ANY woman anytime, anywhere. I think I pulled about 75 numbers in 2 months or so... and matched with literally like 200 girls across various dating platforms. BUT...my conversion rate was HORRIBLE. Absolutely, garbage and the ones that I did manage to convert were low as fuck SMV women that I would never take in public except for the ones I work with. Oh yea and that, I fucked 4 women from work.
I know....don't shit where you eat. So far, nothing horrible has come of it except the last girl's psychopathic, ex-rapist, felon BF showing up at my door at 12am last Saturday but that was mitigated with the flash of a pistol and a cool head. At least I hope....no signs of retribution yet. We'll see what happens.
Where I'm at today - since my relationship ended I have used chasing women and testosterone, as a means to distract myself from the loss of a relationship that I genuinely valued in my life. I'm not 100% sure but the testosterone made me literally as present in the moment with the lowest risk averse mindset that I have ever experienced. Now I am tired all of the time, I don't really care to chase women, I don't really care to work out, I don't really care to go to school - I don't really care to do anything.
I described this state as an existential crisis to someone I was talking to today. I literally don't want to do shit. And talking to women is one of the last things that's on my mind. Following my dismal success and the massive amount of time that I invested in that pursuit over the course of the last couple of months.
What do, guys? What do?
Read More3y ago The Hub
@Namenooneknows I remember feeling exactly like this after each breakup, and lamenting the cycle. Abundance cured the underlying problems and the symptoms for me. Reducing the cycle time of (breakup > feel bad > eventually get back in the game with someone new) to negative territory not only eliminated those unwanted dry and melancholy spells, it dynamically changed my ongoing and future relationships as well. Once you actually LIVE in a state of abundance, all the blue pill misinformation and programming surrounding relationships becomes much easier to sort out.
3y ago The Hub
I need to vent:
I have been looking over the stages of grief to try to gauge where I'm at with the breakup. First it was denial. I passed out of that pretty quickly, actually. Then into anger and bargaining. Shortly, after the breakup a week and then two weeks she reached out and said that she missed me, made a mistake and hoped I was ok. The anger and bargaining in my mind have oscillated back and forth. I am angry that her nature caused her to act the way that she did (although I understand it) and I think that if I continue to work on myself she will eventually see the error of her decisions and want to come back. Although, if that did happen I wouldn't be honest with myself if I took her back knowing how she had her escape plan mapped out and her new man vetted before she jumped ship. It makes me sick.
It makes me sick that I feel this way. Logically, I have nothing to worry about. I will land a new girl. I will be forced to grow from this. My game will improve and everything will be ok. But emotionally, it doesn't feel good. I think I'm beginning to slide into depression. Which is good - it means that I'm progressing through the stages of grief and hopefully will be on the other side moving into acceptance before too long but still. I haven't stopped working out - 4 days per week. I have spent probably 50 hours reading the side bar and taking notes. I have somewhat decent connection with other people in my life and I'm about to go back to work. My bills are paid and life isn't unmanageable at all but goddmanit,
I don't want to do anything. I'm hurting still. I can't fucking stand this. These stupid fucking genes and emotions.
Read More3y ago The Hub
@INNASKILLZ2K20 This is the first comment that holds water.