tl;dr kid grows up and discovers adults don't give a fuck.

Not unless some dedicated fan rushes the field to tackle her corpse.

And I know which of them, as individuals, I've trusted more.

The one whom's morals aren't self seducing spaghetti code leading to nihilistic oblivion?

cucking the food is called remicrowaving over and over and over.

You got to say you are taken otherwise these homosexuals are going to start negging on you.

If you have even one criminal citation from this risk-taking...

Criminals get better social networking than you. Squeaky wheels and rubbery necks, you know I am right.

And unless you have super-connected & powerful parents

Adopt one its easy, no paper work for adopting a parent.