I'm now 66, Married for 40 years and this time I get to stand back and watch a family relationship from a different point of view.
From my own years of life experience, being a typical Blue Pill Beta that has danced the dance for so many years it's difficult to stop. I have been reading and learning Red Pill Theory for the past 8 or so years after I stumbled upon it by accident. It has opened these tired eyes.
My Daughter (37), youngest of three and only girl, is now a Mother and in a long-term relationship with a guy that is a few years older. I've been trying to subtly guide him into understanding what it means to be a good Partner/Father.
Before he met my Daughter, I'm not entirely sure if he had ever been in a serious relationship, let alone live together, and now have a Child. I do see some of myself in him in being trapped by responsibility as the sole provider. He has the advantage of me shoring them up.
He is a "Creative", with a background that includes music, has released Rap Music, is a Graphics Artist and is working on a Vietnam-era based FPS Video Game. He is multi-layered talented, with OCD and Anxiety as frosting.
It has been over a year since he became a Father, and I still shake my head in disbelief when I see how long it has taken him to realize that he is now responsible for more than just himself. I think I need to take him aside and tell him their Daughter is going to grow up whether or not he is an active and positive part of her life. If you ever look at a Girl/Woman and say "Daddy Issues", take a moment to reflect on what important things were missing in her life that lead to this point.
Me, I can hardly wait to start teaching my Granddaughter to be confident, curious and capable in her abilities. I have felt that I let down my own Children in some ways because I had to sacrifice so much of myself to keep the lights on and food on the table. This is my only chance for a do-over and I'm going to do better.
First-light 1w ago
Don't be hard on yourself. You kept the lights on and food on the table. You did your bit. Liberals have started to ask too much of men and men who buy into it then feel they have fallen short.
Its middle class professional women who set these standards and they are bullshit for everyone else. Two middle class professionals, sharing child care (so as not to spoil her precious career) are in a position where the man can "step up" (I practically choke writing those words) and do his bit with educating the children. But if he is keeping the roof over everyone's heads, he is doing his bit. He can't be expected to do everything else too.
You did fine. You got your daughter over your finish line which was her start line. No endurance race ever goes textbook to plan. You cope and you finish. Now its her turn and you can support but don't think you did badly. No one ever gets it all right. Life is too big for one person to get right.