I remember I think on the old reddit WAATGM site, a post of a woman who made a cake and was trying to offer it to guys in her office as a means of trying to get them to flirt with her. And none of them -- absolutely not a single one -- took a slice, but rather just walked out twice as fast as they walked in.

I think three things are going on here. The first is, as people mentioned, flirting with girls has gotten much much riskier. Not just with #metoo and all the female caterwauling about how men are ruining their fragile psyches by trying to talk to them. But also, with social media and girls putting guys on blast. In the old days, at worst, maybe you get a drink thrown on you, or if you were a regular at a bar, you developed a reputation with the other regular patrons. Now, your mug could get broadcast halfway around the world by a single girl surreptitiously filming you because she's evil and needs excitement in her life.

The second is, it's so much more common to be catfished these days, whether it's by hidden cameras, tiktokers looking for outrage bait, or just straight up deception. Years ago, if a woman came up to you and tried to start a conversation, unless you were in a place where prostitution was common, you might at least continue the conversation and see where it leads. There was no real gain in deceiving men by talking to them. Nowadays, if a strange woman is approaching you or even looking at you, chances are far higher she's looking to trap you in some way than that she's genuine. After all, a good viral ragebait tiktok could net her thousands in cash.

And finally, why does a guy have to bother these days? If you're good looking enough that hot women are genuinely approaching or smiling at you unprovoked, then you're probably good looking enough to swipe on Tinder and find a ONS pretty much any night you want. As easy as this chick is making it for a guy to chat her up in a grocery store, it will never be easier than a solitary swipe and a copy/paste of "hey babe, wan sum fuk?" (assuming you're the guy that can get both; and if you're not, well, this girl ain't smiling at you at the grocery store either...)

Quick story that encapsulates all of these: My buddies and I had traveled to another city to hang out for the weekend. On our first evening, we were at dinner, having a great, boisterous time, laughing and all. A few tables away was a large bachelorette party. We hadn't noticed them, but they came over to our table, and started making conversation. We were polite but not super interested (they were cute, but something-something-sand-to-a-beach-something-something :-). Then they asked us if we'd play a bachelorette game with them, almost like truth or dare where someone in their party would be doing something sexy to us, like giving us a kiss, or doing body shots, or whatever. The only catch: they wanted to take pictures, something to remember this night. We said absolutely not and tossed them. Again, 20 years ago, maybe pictures like that stayed in a secret album they'd keep hidden. Nowadays, who knows what shows up on instagram or facebook. Even if they would never tag us, none of us wanted to risk having that shit out there.

They saw we weren't cool with that so they came back and asked us where we were hanging out that night, that they'd join us and wanted to hang out. We made vague statements like "ah, we haven't really thought of any place just yet. If you're hanging out in this area, maybe we'll see you around." They finally got the hint when we finished our dinner and left without ever telling them where we'd be next.

And why would we? As soon as we got off the flight, my buddies who were on the OLD apps had already started swiping and texting with women (some local, some tourists in for the weekend like us). And they already had a gaggle of women that were going to meet us out that night. Even with only half usually showing up, no need to take on the drama and burden of entertaining a bachelorette group that already demonstrated that whatever happened this weekend wasn't going to stay private (no, this wasn't Vegas, but same principle applies anywhere we go :-) Again, maybe 20 years ago, without dating apps, having a group of cute bachelorettes around, just even for social proof, might be worth it. But now with apps making it easy to find women who are confirmed DTF, why bother with the whole song-and-dance courtship routine?

Anyway, we had a great time that night without them. And I remember how dejected and disappointed they looked as we were leaving. From their perspective, they were hot girls (hamster wheel always adds a few points to their own self-score) who were offering to grace us with their presence, behaving all flirty and slutty with us, all but promising a good time, and besides, didn't all guys have a fetish for nailing girls in a bachelorette party?! And we declined. While smiling and wishing them a good night and then never looking back.

If tiktok were a thing back then, they'd probably have made a video like this...

Public service message: If you enjoy the content, please consider posting this link to the Reddit version of WAATGM since I cannot. It drives more traffic to this site, such as myself, and that's how the content creation happens. Please do your part: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlC5DEp2EOQ

Holy fuck LOLOLOLOLOLOL

a'ight, let's start with her title

why are guys so timid nowadays?

1) it's not always timidity, but rather risk calculation

2) ever since the early 1990s at least, it's been beaten into our heads to make sure we aren't "harassing" you wahmynsfolk

3) endocrine disruptors in food, soap, laundry detergent, etc etc etc that suppress testosterone and boost estrogen

From within her video:

[made googly eyes at two guys who didn't try anything and if anything avoided her]

For my part, I've had that happen to me. I've been married since 2005. I've had that reaction for that reason.

For less experienced guys, just "looking them up and down and smiling" isn't enough. Since most women aren't that forward, most guys are going to suspect a trap of some sort.

This is why I'm involuntarily celibate

Looking like that?! Oh, no the fuck you aren't, bitch.

I went to the shop and I saw two hot girls, so I stared at them and looked them up and down. Why did they run away?

I know its a bit different for women but men also are risk adverse. In nature and in the past it was women who stood to lose from random encounters because they might get pregnant or might at least get their reputations damaged. Now pregnancy only happens or only lasts if they want it to. There is no such thing as the need for a woman to be chaste in western society. Women are risk free to seek attention anywhere they get tingles. Its not so for men. Women are known to expect to extract value from you, known to be mentally hard work, might end up involving you in drama or even false accusations of doing what she invited you to do but not exactly when she wanted you to.

Women are resource consuming effort demanding manipulative drama factories with an often loose relationship with truth and fact. Attractive ones come with an army of admirers. What's in it for me? Oh yeah I might get to unload in her if she feels like it. But maybe its not worth the risk to me.

Remember if an unknown hot woman is coming on to you when you have not even got into normal conversation, something is a bit off. Either you are super hot yourself (and you would know that by the age of 15) or she does this quite a bit. You are not the only guy she did this to this month, week or probably even day.

Remember many would like to have her but they are not having her are they? So something is off. Might be a scam, might be an unhinged slut gone a bit manic for attention. Best walk on boy. There is nothing good for you there.

See, this is why we used to have high-trust, homogeneous culture with very clear rules of engagement, ownership, and public behavior.

This woman is a walking trap, and men are figuring out in real time what we were already warned about three millennia ago.

Do not let your heart turn to her ways;

for she is wounding and has cut down many,

and innumerable are those whom she has murdered;

Paths to Hades are her house,

leading down to the chambers of death.

Average men know there's no point in trying, hot men have a hookup fast-lane via Tinder. Add to that the constant complaints from women that they're getting harassed all the time, and the interaction she's hoping for is all risk no gain on the man's side. All in all, not a good time to be a woman expecting men to do the approaching.

sigh it's all performative.

If these things were actually "mortifying", these women wouldn't be smiling as they tell these stories. For that matter, they wouldn't be telling the story to the internet.

Why is it not actually "mortifying" for them? Because they know there are always other options out there for anyone with a functioning vag.