So I asked out a friend of mine and got rejected. I know I waited too long and learned from my mistake. But one of the things she said was that she never felt that way about me from the very beginning we met. But I am sure that she did at some point, even my female cousin who is pretty intuitive in reading people said she seemed to like me when we were all hanging out together once.
So is she just being a female and lying? Or did she actually never have feelings for me?
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
Women can only see and feel the here and now. They cannot understand the feelings of others, nor even their previous selves.
If she feels something now, it is how she always felt.
It's just how they work. If a girl likes you, she has always liked you from the second you met. If she doesn't like you right now, she has never liked you.
Truth is you don't know how things could have gone....... but you certainly can't get facts about it out of her.
blancx1234 1y ago
Dude thank you, this was exactly the answer I was looking for. I know that I should just move on and next but I was in literal agony over whether or not I was just being deceived the whole time I knew her. I dont care that I failed to make a move on her fast enough, nor that shes moved on or whatever, I just couldnt stand the idea that there never was actually a chance even though I thought there was. Although there isnt a way to know 100% anymore, I am now pretty confident that there was a chance that I didnt capitalize on after hearing this. And honestly im cool with that, i know that i shouldnt struggle with myself over closure but getting it still gives a ton of relief lol. I definitely learned a phat lesson to strike while the iron is hot for sure too.
blancx1234 1y ago
Also could you tell me the source of where you got this information? I really think I should read up and learn about this
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
"female solipsism"...... it's all fairly standard TRP teachings
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
She may have had tingles for you in that moment or maybe even she was on her period that week.
At any rate, sounds like you friendzoned yourself early on and stayed there hoping to get out of it. You were an orbiter
Next time you like a girl, I would not be friends with her. That's how you framed your relationship.
You should be polarizing early on so that you can filter interest quickly and then escalate in a reasonable time frame to getting a date.
I don't know how long you waited but overall you tried friend game and it was doomed to fail.
I've escaped the friend zone before, but only because I flirted with her from the start and she had a bf so by default I was a friend till she became single and then I struck.
Also. You never had sex with her or anything, shouldn't even matter what she "felt". Bottom line is she never did anything with you. I can tell from the way you are writing that you still need to grasp that man-to-woman relationships are sexually charged. You write this like you're looking for her to have an emotional crush instead of sexual attraction and that explains your friend approach
You have oneitis from the way you're writing this. Should be talking to multiple women and not waiting this long on any of them
blancx1234 1y ago
How did you strike after she broke up with her bf? Also do girls lie about this kind of stuff in general?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You're focusing way too much on the "lie". She wasn't interested. Period. End of story. Even if she was interested at one point, you didn't make a move on it. If she was you two would be hooking up.
You have the wrong mentality here entirely. You are looking for closure as though if she had liked you at some point that you could rekindle this and make her like you again.
She wasn't interested. You're very focused on the wrong thing here. That's the bottom line, you friendzoned yourself. We can speculate if she would have ever liked you if you didn't friendzone yourself and if you had ran game but we can't. Because you didn't do any of those things and thus have no way of ever knowing.
Women don't lie to men they're interested in that they're not interested. That would be counterproductive. Some women lie that they like men when they don't, but not the other way around.
She wasn't interested.
And I was helping her move for like 4 days. Just me and her. A cop kept following us through yellow lights, she said "fuck the police" I joked "we can get pulled over so she can fuck him". She checked him out and asked if I was okay. I said yeah. She said "you're not jealous?"
I said "I'm not jealous but I'd want it to be me"
She got tingles, I escalated at her place. And we fucked.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1y ago
At this point, it doesn't matter. At all.
Just strike while the iron is hot, and don't get FriendZoned.