ELI5: The first few seconds of how to start dancing with a girl in club/bar environment?
- Holding a hand out to dance with a girl rarely works for me even after eye contact (maybe they play hard to get with me IDK) and then I don't know what to do aside from spin them and be awkwardly off-rhythm.
- Joining a 2/3 set my friend has recently opened and is already dancing with can usually turn one of the girls off.
- I don't know what dance moves to use for that first 5 seconds of the interaction (and beyond), before whatever triggers the girl to start turning away.
Is the mindset just to be semi-disinterested, face her but only slowly move closer if there are no bad signs? What dance moves are easy and work when dancing with a girl considering I can just about two step and flail my arms around.
I do anticipate rejection slightly because I'm not sure how to get through those initial few seconds, sometimes girls will dance near me and "randomly" bump into me but I have no idea how to escalate that into dancing with them without causing them to back away. Once I am already dancing with someone and I know they're interested in me I'm fine escalating from there.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Be seen by her having fun BEFORE you dance with her.
If you dance energetically, having fun, being playful/sexual, even up to and including full on retard dancing...... for 2-3 songs (without looking at the crowd), girls will literally appear out of almost nowhere and dance with you.
ok.... this DOES NOT MATTER..
She should be attracted and willing to dance. With that done, the execution of the invite doesn't matter, but should be non verbal. As regards rejection: sure, some interested, some not, that's fine.
*all these points are important
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Go check out some John Travolta moves.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-kL8A4RNQ8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUID0jSh2Ic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5qXCzknxn8
darkestace 2y ago
Can't tell if you're serious but the last one could work in 2022 and isn't difficult. At least that's one half of my question
whytehorse2021 2y ago
No I'm serious. He's one of the greatest dancers of all time. I'd tell you to check out Michael Jackson but not many people can pull that off. For your other half of the question you use dancing to break the ice and get to know someone and see if they're interested. It's like the girl can reject you without rejecting you.
If a girl agrees to dance watch for IOIs and if present escalate and then take it somewhere else. If no IOIs just dance for a little while to be polite and move on. For the first 5 seconds you're leading her into what type of dancing style you want to do. I always had problems because I would dance like John Travolta and women suck at dancing nowadays. All they know how to do is pole dancing.
Anyway, it's probably not you, it's them. Aaron Clarey had a story about one time when he asked 32 women to dance and they all refused. He was a fit, handsome, clean cut, wall street banker who taught ballroom dancing. If that guy can't get a dance nobody can. You might have an alternative route to break through their bitch shield when they refuse like "Oh, you can't dance?" and they'll probably admit they can't dance so you can ask if she minds if you join her.