I'll keep it brief. I got rejected from a girl that I had a thing going for a while (not serious/ not exclusive). We cut ties at some point after I felt she'd been lying to me. Few months after we met again (after me reaching out) a couple of times only for her to tell me she wasn't feeling it anymore. I didn't take it easy not kept calm and so on so it got bad and are now in bad terms/ no contact. I understand her reasons and fully know what I did wrong but that doesn't help my current condition.
Throughout all this time (between initially cutting ties and up to now) said girl built confidence, started being more active on IG clearly looking for attention, travelling more and so on. Effect it had on me was destroying my confidence and sending me into a spiral of deep depression that has been going on for months.
Probably good to mention at this point that I have felt in love with her and still feel this way. Also good to mention that she's the most attractive girl personality and looks wise I've ever done anything with.
I need advice on the following: a) How to be okay with having behaved in a very childish and needy manner towards her (what killed it eventually). I have lost all self respect and confidence b) How to find motivation to work towards something when I compare myself and objectively am at a much worse position (wealth/ looks/ social life) than a lot of guys out there that I know she could be interacting with and (in my head and most likely) she would be attracted to c) Expanding on the point above: wealth wise and looks wise and generally things-girls-find-attractive wise there's things I will most likely never achieve (extreme wealth, extreme physiques, looks and so on). Meanwhile her being an attractive girl she has full access to that. How do I deal with this?
I exercise, eat properly (as much as I can), have been to therapy, hang out with friends and generally do all healthy things to get out of this rut. It doesn't help.
Obviously no new pussy since my confidence and self respect are completely shot. I could get something average but getting something as good or ideally better than her is currently impossible