as the title says, im starting to get lonely again.
i dont really have anyone outside of my family and even them i avoid as much as possible.
there are a few more underlying things connected to me being lonely, like addiction, trauma, stuff like this.
im more or less pretty disciplined currently. im sober since close to 5 months, improve myself mostly by working towards my education as developer. unfortunately i cant do much sport because im injured. also im single with no proper plate atm.
i dont even know exactly what i want tbh. guess i have to push through this myself. im a man after all, right?
maybe theres someone else who can relate to me.
unplugged69 2y ago
It's hard to imagine this but a lot of us have been in the exact same place, you don't find the redpill by being on top of the world. You find it by hitting rock bottom and having enough.
The key here is that it takes dedication, Rome was not built in a day. Let's put it this way, if you worked on it daily and never gave up and in 10 years had 4 plates HB8, drove a luxury car, had a very nice pad or house, and a promising career paying 6 figures, would you do anything necessary to achieve that?
Make it your dream to become who you want to be, you don't necessarily need a rolex, find what's important to you but never give up working towards it. The redpill is ultimately about self improvement and less about bitches. The most important thing for me was finding stoicism so I highly recommend you look into it and give it a try. The few modern techniques in psychology like CBT are actually based on stoicism, and everything else in psychology is basically trash.
The ancients figured this shit out thousands of years ago and it's still true today, no need to reinvent the wheel. Their lives were a lot harder, in fact Marcus Aurelius ruled in a time of plague very similar to what we are experiencing today except for him it was much worse. Let these great men inspire you, men were made to solve and overcome problems.
ItchyNipple 2y ago
i truly was at rock bottom. made a lot of progress already but i have so much more to go. and im thankful for it. if i was content with where i am i would never do as much as i do now. i want to achieve so much and im willing to do so much for it. i love the Journey. i simply cant properly progress as im still stuck on university. afterwards i want to start my own thing and travel the world. looking forward to my adventures!
unplugged69 2y ago
Nice man, I'm glad you are looking ahead. There are lots of things to do in university, try to learn more than the others, try to network, get skills that will help you land a great career, work on projects, join clubs, etc.
Do everything you can because it's a unique experience and you will never get it back. I miss my university days and you never get to repeat them so do everything you want and FULLY immerse yourself in the experience and love every moment, even the bad shit, because that's what it means to be alive. Good luck brother
BDATA 2y ago
Well, I can relate to you.
The biggest reason why men don't have friends is because they don't make male friends. All these guys do is send Facebook request to women. I used to do this too.
Yeah, I know talking to men is boring but may be, we can become thick friends and may be, it can be great if you have a shared hobby.
Last day, a guy friend of mine lost so much money and he was devastated. I called him without even knowing that because I was not feeling well so I thought I'd talk with this fun loving guy and that's how I came to know about this. See, guys don't really socialize much. The fact is guys love to socialize with girls more but I think, we need to socialize more.
Now, I do 1:1 - If I send a message to my girl friends, I make sure I send one to guy friends too. Believe me, this is making me happier.
Guys can have fun like this. Look at two guys having fun.We are missing this fun. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYkVka5Z4Kc
This is bromance. LOL! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJVt8kUAm9Q
ItchyNipple 2y ago
just sent a message to a friend of mine. also accepted an invitation to a birthday party. im just so fucking scared to initiate contact with other people. nothing bad comes from it ever but im still scared to death to make myself vulnerable.
BDATA 2y ago
I can understand exactly what you are trying to do. I think you need to change your mindset. Men aren't your enemies or guys won't really beat you up or anything. I had this issue before where I'd imagine a fight with them. You need a change your mindset from men being your competitors to men being on your team. Imagine, a wolf pack like mentality. Now you are imaging other men like you are some deer and the other men are like some Tigers or something. Also, take it light with other men. I mean, have fun laughing out loud talking bull shit and even talk about new ideas and may be implement them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wl8ZxAaB2E - These are your men
For example, with my close friend, I don't have to care about my voice or body language or what I say. I can say whatever I want. That's liberating in a way. With women, we can never ever do this. A couple of guys can do wonders together.
unplugged69 2y ago
+1
OP you need to understand that having male friends is VERY important for the redpill man since you can't really discuss anything useful with women. Men are for trust, loyalty, and intellectual discussions, because they are your equals and will help you when times are tough. I believe there were some nice guides on making guy friends but basically in venues try to talk to men as well as women for social proof, one of them might become your friends.
Finally go learn some mainly hobbies and you will find redpill or natural alpha men, be friends with those dudes and it will improve your life. Spending time with men was important in roman society because women were considered stupid bitches who were only for fucking or children, this has not changed in 2000 years.
ItchyNipple 2y ago
lmao kind od true, womand are for fun.
i kind of have huge problems bonding with men.
i feel like i have father issues and get submissive around other men which. creates a weird vibe. im gonna adress this with my therapist after i found one who matches me.
unplugged69 2y ago
Sounds good man, also look into stoicism, no more Mr Nice guy, and when I say no I feel guilty. If in doubt, don't say shit and STFU and don't back down from your convictions. Both men and women respect someone who stands their ground. Finally you should LIFT, men act like pussies in today's feminized society because we eat shit and we don't work out our bodies like we used to. In the roman legion they used to march 20 KM a day with 25KG of equipment, and that was considered "normal", imagine what they did when they were pressed for time.
ItchyNipple 2y ago
appreciate it a lot! i will have a look at your resources. hopefully i can lift again soon. currently i have to do somekind of calesthenics and stretches to strengen my lower back, shoulder is injured as well. got an appointment at the doctors tomorrow, hopefully it isnt too bad.