Plate I was seeing before moving provinces was hot, smart, funny and sex was amazing. I was coming off a failed engagement and was just enjoying her with no strings attached. I really enjoyed her company and wish we could have seen each other more. When I left to escape the lockdown we kept in touch and she was still sending nudes up until 2 weeks ago, telling me how amazing I felt inside her. Lockdown in my province started to ease up so I was looking to come back and meet up. She acted down but then revealed she's been seeing someone casually for the past couple months and didn't want to fuck it up because she wants something serious now.
Instead of acting like it didn't affect and me I got all in my feelings. She said she caught feelings too but since I moved she didn't want to say anything. Now after that I went full blue pill to the point where it sounded like I was confessing my love for her lol. It was bad and honestly makes me cringe thinking about it. Anyways, I was rejected and it was kinda out of nowhere to her because of how alpha and no fucks I came off before. I tried doing some damage control and we talked about the sex and maybe linking up in the future if things change.
I realize my reaction was a combination of oneitis, loneliness, scarcity mindset, fomo and finally getting over my Fiance. Maybe she found beta bucks that is why she was still sending me nudes and missing my cock. That being said I don't think she will ever come back after losing frame like that and I set up a date next week and been chatting to new girls now that I've been back. But how do I act if she comes around again? Do you ever remain friends with a broken plate or do you just go NC? Is it possible to ever get my frame back from this?
Some positives are that I have been using this cringe feeling to fuel some weight loss. I've been exercising and focusing on my mission. I have this insane desire to level up every aspect of my life. I am starting to game other woman. The rejection has diminished my oneitis and set me free.
Things I've learned from this situation:
- put phone away if emotions are getting in the way of logic (better to come back with a clear mind and think rationally about a situation)
- if plate breaks let them go, "she's not yours its just your turn"
- rejection is a good motivator for self improvement
- sharing emotions is a turn off and doesn't improve the situation
- you can't negotiate desire
[deleted] 2y ago
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l0ungefly 2y ago
Bro, you are in emotional quicksand... the only way out, is to remove yourself from the situation.. ie) NC. Look, I've been here before. You lost frame (its happened to me too.. you learn from it).. the only thing you can do to recover is NC. Emotional quicksand is when you overthink everything because you are trying to recover. When you do that, nothing you do will be right. You will fuck up every move.
Remember the 1 thing we can count on is a woman's feelings will change. A woman's feelings aren't as stable as a mans. Maybe she is overwhelmed right now.. but give her space. Her feelings will change. If you chase now.. YOU ARE FUCKED.. go out with your boys, hit the gym, look into some new shit, spin some new plates.. whatever.. but let her go for now.
To answer your questions directly (FROM EXPERIENCE)
"That being said I don't think she will ever come back after losing frame like that" - "l0ungefly" says - yes she will; just chill.
and I set up a date next week and been chatting to new girls now that I've been back. - "l0ungefly" says - okay... good
But how do I act if she comes around again? Do you ever remain friends with a broken plate or do you just go NC? Is it possible to ever get my frame back from this?
"l0ungefly" says - YES ITS POSSIBLE, a plate will come back if you made her feel good while you were with her. If she's "out there" she will be comparing everyone to you.. IF you made her feel good when she was with you. Remeber its all about feelings with a woman. Make a woman associate good feelings with you, and she'll always come back; and WHEN she does comes back: don't address anything negative... its like nothing happened, okay?.. and you re-attract her by showing her you aren't pouting or hurting, - you are the awesome motherfucker who she was first attracted to (whenever that was) in the first place. And when you have her back and are balls deep in her just remember "l0ungefly" told ya so.. :-)
And just think what you may have done wrong to make her loose attraction and don't do that shit again; do a post-mortem in your head.. where did you go wrong. Remember what women say and what they want are 2 different things. You have to be alpha as hell. You aren't one of her male girlfriends. You can't bare your soul to her. Tell that that shit to your best friend, your therapist.. whatever. As much as you may want to be intimate/close to her.. if she senses weakness in you, you are DONE.
Remember your simple game plan is 1.) hangout; 2.) have fun; 3.) hook-up / fuck. "Corey Wayne"
End of story.
Don't get caught up, bro. Thats when it all goes sideways.. you'll get another chance though; trust me. Just don't chase right now.. give her space to miss you. Trust me, I had to give my favorite plate, 3mo of space once. And you'll hear about old plates resurfacing after a fucking year.. usually cuz they hear though the grapevine that you are killin' it.. but trust me.. I've got the "hey, long time no talk; I missed you". Hook line and sinker, bro.
Just don't fuck up right now...
otherside 2y ago
Thanks for taking the time to write this! Yeah I think space is key...
if she comes around cool, if not it's her loss. But I am not going to dwell on it.
Take it easy brother.
l0ungefly 2y ago
Now YOU got it!... Go out, kill it, have fun, laugh, flirt with anything that crosses your path, make another woman feel good (even just for practice)... she'll be DYING inside for your attention!
Remember the 1 thing women have over us is the pussy; the 2 things we have over them is a.) attention, and b.) validation. So a man already has a 2 weapon advantage in the game vs. woman's 1 weapon.
gilgameshieato 2y ago
Treat her as usual, pretend like nothing happened. Just don't go wearing your heart in your sleeve again.
otherside 2y ago
Yeah never again, I feel so cringe thinking about it!!! Lesson learned...