Good afternoon once again gentleman, another short and sweet topic for you all.
Abundance. If you don't know what it is, I suggest you do a deep-dive of the sidebar, but to keep things simple, abundance is basically not framing your LTR, FWB, hell, even a plate to be the centerpiece of your life.
I've seen it time and time again. A guy will somehow stumble his way into some pussy (this is rare for him), he asks himself, "this is great, I've never felt a greater feeling in my life, but what will I do if I ever lose her?" The moment you start to ask yourself that question, the answer is you've already lost her.
We all know that women as a whole are narcissistic, emotion-driven beings, but that doesn't mean she wants to be the center of your attention 100% of the time. Fuck what she says, did you hear me? She does not want to be the center of your attention 100% of the time. Now I don't say this to say you should neglect your LTR, by all means, you should give a fuck about her if you've given her the title of girlfriend, wife, whatever, but that doesn't mean she's the only thing you've got going on in your life.
Let me give you guys a checklist of ways you will lose in the long run if your ultimate goal is to not have your LTR branch swing:
- The moment you cut ties with female friends because she is jealous, insecure, etc... you lose.
- The moment you stop going out with the guys so you can stay in and watch episodes of 90 Day Fiancé with her... you lose.
- The moment you go from 6 days in the gym to 3 or 4 because you can't bring yourself to leave her alone in bed... you lose. In fact, if you were any type of leader in your relationship she would be bringing her ass to the gym with you.
- The moment you stop progressing in your career, because you've already got the car(s), house, and a girlfriend or wife that's fucking you, why should you care about moving up or doing something different? You lose.
- The moment you stop making decisions for the betterment of yourself in place of making decisions for what she wants... you lose.
You get my point right?
Now this isn't just for the men who lose sight of who they are and the things they need to take care of as a man just because they slipped into some pussy, it's for the guys who are on their purpose for the most part and still get an intrusive thought every now and then that goes "this relationship is going great, but what if she finds a better guy, what if she leaves me?"
Yes, what if she leaves you? The answer is you shouldn't care. It should be nothing but a blip in the almost century-long timeline each of us is given. No woman on this planet is a unicorn, I don't care how bad your mind wants to believe so. There are no better women, or different women, there are just women.
The problem that I see a lot of guys run into when it comes to LTRs or even FWBs is that they frame their entire lives, their whole sense of identity around their current relationship. That's why if and when the relationship ends they're left in limbo, picking up the pieces of what they think life was before that woman showed up in their life.
Gentleman, for the sake of rambling I'll leave you all with some key points:
- Your woman is in a relationship with the man she met before you even knew she existed. Never stop being that man, and never let a single woman on this planet shift your thinking or your beliefs.
- Eventually all things must come to an end. Whether your relationship will last a few months or a couple of decades, only time will tell. But always remember and never forget: she's not yours, it's just your turn.
- Don't stop doing the things you love to do. Go fishing with the guys on the weekend, work on your project car, no days off at the gym, etc. It doesn't matter what it is you love doing, as long as you don't STOP doing it.
- Never stop working on yourself in place of placating to a woman's wants/desires. I get it, you got the hot girl so you feel like the man and don't need to work on yourself. Don't be fooled, self-improvement is a lifelong game. Don't be lazy and complacent.
- Be attractive. This one is self-explanatory, but I seen too many guys fall off the wagon as far as looks go once they get into a relationship that I had to hit on this. Your girl might tell you it's okay if you're getting a bit of a beer belly and haven't gotten a haircut in a few weeks, but it's not. My guys, never stop being sexy.
- No woman on this planet is special.
- Never worry about if (really, when) your girl is going to leave you, enjoy her while she's here and forget her when she leaves.
- Remember every girl that you told yourself was the "love of your life", another one came right after her.
- Woman are fickle and their decision to branch swing rarely make sense, that alone should help you not worry when your turn is up.
"These hoes, they for everybody."
Respectfully,
IAHP
Dimenzije90 2y ago
Yes. Read this everyday until you internalize this shit. If you ever had your mental health diminish because of a girl. Here is your home made remedy.
Nice post, short and straight to the point. Thank you for your service.
Indis96 2y ago
Yep, that is true. If you are suffering in life/anxious about a girl, you should get your prioritys straight, and not by some bimbo that wants to play games with you.
OP:
Agree with the majority, well written and structured, simple to digest and important shit for everyone to remember.
Never trust anybody with their words, action is always better, this goes for both genders.
Kyomeii 2y ago
I'm facing this right now, was chasing this girl I deemed oh so special, but she wasn't reciprocating. Earlier today I realized I chased her far too long, and even though I didn't stop fucking other girls or doing whatever I'd want to, I was just too emotionally invested in her for things to work anyway.
Reading this today is great and it reminded me of a lot of stuff I had forgotten. I won't ever again chase someone undeserving for this long.
Hard-Truth7 2y ago
And here’s another thing... that’s a great realization you had. You will stop chasing her. However, after a little while of you being cold and not giving her any attention, she will start to chase you now. Either because she is actually interested, or just because she wants that attention back. And when that happens that is a pretty hard test of your mental state. Can you remain unfazed and uncaring when your previous oneitis starts chasing you? It will hurt 2x worse if you get thrown off when that happens.
gucciwillis 2y ago
This happened to me. I was obsessed with this girl for a while before realising she didn't feel the same way, so I mentally moved on. Almost straight away she started chasing me and it was bizarre since I'd liked this girl so much and now that she wanted me I didn't care. Complete frame transfer and it taught me the least attractive thing you can do is give a woman attention. Easier said than done though when you find someone you really like.
Kyomeii 2y ago
Definitely, this is the first time this happened to me since being introduced to TRP 3 years ago, it wasn't even remotely as bad as the time before that though.
Maybe I'm just in a bad place mentally, because usually I'm much more aware and in control of my emotions.
The worst part is, if she starts chasing me I'd probably give her a chance. She's a more than decent woman and this is my fault for being too needy, and having too much expectations.
Kyomeii 2y ago
She might, but I don't think she will, I'm pretty sure she's fucking someone she likes more than me
I'm also pretty sure this only happened because I let her pick the place for our first date, it was beyond shitty. Turns out shit first dates don't build the best impressions. Another lesson learned
But whatever, it's her loss anyway
vonkrueger 2y ago
Hope you aren't going to do that again.
Kyomeii 2y ago
lmao no fucking way, if it isn't on my terms, then it won't happen at all.
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plentyoffishes 2y ago
Same thing happens in reverse. When she's afraid to lose me, she's already lost. Nothing less attractive than an insecure, unconfident female
redditor67tny 2y ago
if she tries hard to get and keep my attention i love that shit. but yeah obviously there’s lines to cross
b2daoni 2y ago
If she's afraid to lose you, that's dread and actually works out in your favor.
Have you read the sidebar?
plentyoffishes 2y ago
Why did I get downvoted? Ridiculous.
LandscapeClear1630 2y ago
because you clearly haven't read the sidebar
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Alakazamon 2y ago
TRP is just FDS but boys instead of girls
WhatRemainsAfter 2y ago
One Q: How does this apply to a wife?
Thanks for the post. :)
facere-omnes 2y ago
Spot on bro. I feel like the complacency around working out and your general appearance is a double edged sword. Not only are you allowing yourself to plateau / deterioriate but it will also fuel and give reason to those thoughts of inadequacy and general oneitis / scarcity mindset.
Keep grinding fellas!
Wingflier 2y ago
I was just thinking about this quote last night: If you're afraid to lose her, you already have.
This is because, in my experience, women who are truly invested in a man, or that have genuine burning desire, as Rollo Tomassi might call it, never hesitate to show their affection. You never have to wonder if a girl really likes you, and if you are wondering, that should tell you something.
Last night I was watching the first episode of a "comedy" with my dad called Ted Lasso. Anyway, at the end of the episode, he calls his wife and tells her he loves her, and she treats him like a real bitch saying they were supposed to be "taking space". She won't return his words of affection and coldly ends the phone call with him.
I turned to my dad and said, "Why the fuck do guys put up with that behavior? I would never 'take a break' with a girl. If she asked for a break I'd just fucking end it and move on."
And his response was, "I guess it just depends on how much you're willing to invest in the girl."
And in the moment, a lifetime of bluepill conditioning flashed before my eyes and I realized, once again, why I never had any success with women growing up. Thank god for the RP community.
Pharmaki 2y ago
My problem is in internalizing this. On all levels it makes sense, but emotionally speaking its like cutting the first circuit you ever got installed in your head. In families you need to adapt to eachother to function. How do you deal with this? And how or what do you replace this with? I dont know.
Also the whole always moving on and improving, how the fuck do you get around that? Im the kind of person who went from rags to riches, and at some point i like my life so much that any additional investment is not worth it. Do you need to pretend you are improving all the time? Its annoying as fuck to some degree. Im not saying working on yourself, but just to stop chasing the money dragon. I function better if i sleep more, work out more, and spend less time at work. Prefer to have a talent stack overall.
Curiousscience2014 2y ago
Take your time to do these things, all humans need rest sometimes. It will hurt emotionally because you are basically changing process on your brain, and your brain doesn't like it, but it's necessary.
eaazzy_13 2y ago
Never stop bettering yourself doesn’t necessarily mean spend all your time making money if you’ve already got money. Both examples you gave, working out and getting good sleep, are both important ways to work on yourself that should not be neglected.
PumpMyKicks 2y ago
If you are afraid to lose her, you have oneitis and don't have an abundance mindset. /thread
Ill_mumble_that 2y ago
fuck man I needed this today. you are a lifesaver.
got caught up with this girl I thought was special, turns out she's a basic bitch like every other female. brain likes to play tricks on you. AWALT.
dspjm 2y ago
It's quite simple to me, just regard any women you deal with as prostitutes or fb. In fact, they are, and they know it. It's only the beta males don't know that. There is no such thing as LTR, love, soul mate, wife, etc., in my life. It doesn't mean I don't stay with women for long-term, I just don't give any special regard to them. Any minute I stay with them has to be earned by them.
PatternEast7185 2y ago
"No woman on this planet is special"
I get why dudes on this sub say this, it helps to build that abundance mindset, but imo it is very obviously cope.
would you rather breed with some 80 IQ trashslut that comes from an equally shitty family, or would you rather breed with Charlise Theron at her prime after she became a multi-millionaire?
if you can't discriminate btw these two, then of course "no woman is special", but to say that this is a RedPill principal that should apply to all men is retard shit.
b2daoni 2y ago
Charlise Theron will shit test the fuck out of you. She has to validate u before smashing. She believes she can get any guy she wants, what makes you special?
80 IQ trashslut will shit test the fuck out of you. She has to validate you before smashing. She also believes she can get any guy she wants... what makes you special?
Only difference is one will require stronger frame than the other.
Fakercel 2y ago
Idaf about her money lol, it's hers and comes attached to a complicated family situation.
If she's cute and raised with good values she can work at MacDonald's for all I care.
Alakadoof 2y ago
Its true this term could be misunderstood by a few. But abundance is more than just having women to sleep with.
Women that check whatever boxes you hold, in line with your values, needs and lifestyle. You know them when you see them. Guys that hook up at clubs every weekend will chomp at the bit the second they meet a girl they don't get repulsed by in the morning. Do they really have abundance? Nope. The girl isn't perfect. But he's sure afraid to lose her now.
Take a look at someone that lives a quality lifestyle. People come and go. And those girls that make your heart leap in your chest, whew.. they'll be fundementally rarer, but then again, you could end up seeing several of these girls in a month. The only thing making any woman "irreplaceable", in a true sense is the time you spend with them, thinking of them.
So, the question. Is any woman special? Statistically, she isn't the only one for you. Not even close. She can be truly amazing, "special", a blessing, but not irreplaceable. That's all you need to keep moving forward.
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Enjoyitbeforeitsover 2y ago
awesome post and good for your mental health if you realize the simple truths here
boofthegirl 2y ago
I actually do sort of agree with you but will respectfully disagree with some points. As someone who’s been in a healthy relationship for a long time, this goes both ways.
If you want a long term relationship to work you genuinely have to think the other is special - even if, logically, they’re not. It is what it is.
But yes, I think couples should have time for their friends and their partner seperate and together. If your partner can’t get along with your friends, it won’t work. If your partner can’t tolerate you having friendships outside of the relationship, it won’t work. I find myself encouraging my introvert partner out of the house because I know he feels satisfied after spending time with friends. I spent a long time without good friends and now that I have two great friends he does the same.
You also need to keep up a basic level of attractiveness. Sure, I’ve gained 10kgs since I got with my partner at 17yo but I am just a lot older now. I’m a woman not a kid. He’s lost weight since high school. We still both look hot and find each other attractive. Lots of couples get in the “roommate” mindset where they turn into a trash goblin. Sure, you can see each other at your worst and there are days where you both eat pizza in your underwear but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t brush your hair and put on clean clothes. You should not stop trying to look good.
Saying every woman is the same and isn’t special is not conducive to obtaining meaningful relationships. I understand why y’all say this but it’s like you think your friends are amazing, they’re the best friends you could ask for at this time.
Anyway good luck boys xx
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GitGud_Pirates_Inc 2y ago
I had a 2 year period of complacency and I don't remember much of it, but I also am forgetful as it gets. I just started getting my shit together and getting way back on track, taking care of myself, looking my best as often and consistently as I can, reading, learning, getting into gym, getting my overall life and shit together. I am not afraid of losing her and this sub has only strengthened that. I'm doing way more of what I want and if she doesn't want to do it with me then she doesn't have to. I need to be way more about doing my own thing and if she wants to join she is welcome otherwise whatever. I put a lot of time into her so I'm working on way less of that. I am understanding how women are and that has helped me make sense of past relationships. I've got quite a list of reasons for just immediately dropping it all if need be. Things have been going fucking way up for me and I'm finally wanting to get social and make friends due to self improvement and this sub. The best books I've learn the most from are "No More Mr. Nice Guy" but another far better book is "3% Man" which I need to read another 10-14 times until I have mastered that important information.
Did y'all know guys almost only buy or get things in hopes of fixing a mistake or when they forgot something, hell even just for sex, that's wack
I'll be reading this until my brain fully accepts it and tells my heart to stfu
SlyGuyTy69 2y ago
well put; concise. A nice reminder we all need from time to time
dudewheresmyclit 2y ago
Reminds me of Sean Connery talking in an interview about how he believes his relationship lasted so long. He said it was because he and his wife had different interests and they would do their own things and always come back to eachother with something to say.
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goblin_champ 2y ago
I think the biggest sign of a lack of mental strength and drive is when you drop off once you get with a woman and make her the no 1 priority in your life. And im sure women notice that as well, and it contributes to the loss of attraction.
In certain past societies, a boy would have to go through certain rituals before he is recognized as a man and given the right to a woman/women. Usually similar to military training or other things that develop your mental strength.
I think men today should also focus on developing good mental strength before getting into relationships. I would argue it is much more important than physical strength and can often be the reason for women's respect and attraction towards you.
kabuto_mushi 2y ago
Yo for real though, what kind of program yall on that you go to the gym 6 days a week?? Even when I'm serious powerlifting mode, gearing up for competition, 4 training days are plenty... you need to rest also.
prsAtwice2doabarlrol 2y ago
I’m sure this is a great post but there’s a typo in the first couple sentences and In the one point I read close to the end. I agree with the topic but just a heads up I suggest you proof read this.
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Alakazamon 2y ago
No woman is special?
Yikes
My girlfriend is special to me, and I make sacrifices for her sometimes... thats just part of a normal relationship.
BigBallzzz21 2y ago
Bro go listen to the new Future song “Nobody special” and think twice. I agree with this post mostly but no one wants to grow old and miserable, i’m happy and single for now though.
Vicco_ 2y ago
I listened to it but couldn't understand a single word..