Good afternoon once again gentleman, another short and sweet topic for you all.
Abundance. If you don't know what it is, I suggest you do a deep-dive of the sidebar, but to keep things simple, abundance is basically not framing your LTR, FWB, hell, even a plate to be the centerpiece of your life.
I've seen it time and time again. A guy will somehow stumble his way into some pussy (this is rare for him), he asks himself, "this is great, I've never felt a greater feeling in my life, but what will I do if I ever lose her?" The moment you start to ask yourself that question, the answer is you've already lost her.
We all know that women as a whole are narcissistic, emotion-driven beings, but that doesn't mean she wants to be the center of your attention 100% of the time. Fuck what she says, did you hear me? She does not want to be the center of your attention 100% of the time. Now I don't say this to say you should neglect your LTR, by all means, you should give a fuck about her if you've given her the title of girlfriend, wife, whatever, but that doesn't mean she's the only thing you've got going on in your life.
Let me give you guys a checklist of ways you will lose in the long run if your ultimate goal is to not have your LTR branch swing:
- The moment you cut ties with female friends because she is jealous, insecure, etc... you lose.
- The moment you stop going out with the guys so you can stay in and watch episodes of 90 Day Fiancé with her... you lose.
- The moment you go from 6 days in the gym to 3 or 4 because you can't bring yourself to leave her alone in bed... you lose. In fact, if you were any type of leader in your relationship she would be bringing her ass to the gym with you.
- The moment you stop progressing in your career, because you've already got the car(s), house, and a girlfriend or wife that's fucking you, why should you care about moving up or doing something different? You lose.
- The moment you stop making decisions for the betterment of yourself in place of making decisions for what she wants... you lose.
You get my point right?
Now this isn't just for the men who lose sight of who they are and the things they need to take care of as a man just because they slipped into some pussy, it's for the guys who are on their purpose for the most part and still get an intrusive thought every now and then that goes "this relationship is going great, but what if she finds a better guy, what if she leaves me?"
Yes, what if she leaves you? The answer is you shouldn't care. It should be nothing but a blip in the almost century-long timeline each of us is given. No woman on this planet is a unicorn, I don't care how bad your mind wants to believe so. There are no better women, or different women, there are just women.
The problem that I see a lot of guys run into when it comes to LTRs or even FWBs is that they frame their entire lives, their whole sense of identity around their current relationship. That's why if and when the relationship ends they're left in limbo, picking up the pieces of what they think life was before that woman showed up in their life.
Gentleman, for the sake of rambling I'll leave you all with some key points:
- Your woman is in a relationship with the man she met before you even knew she existed. Never stop being that man, and never let a single woman on this planet shift your thinking or your beliefs.
- Eventually all things must come to an end. Whether your relationship will last a few months or a couple of decades, only time will tell. But always remember and never forget: she's not yours, it's just your turn.
- Don't stop doing the things you love to do. Go fishing with the guys on the weekend, work on your project car, no days off at the gym, etc. It doesn't matter what it is you love doing, as long as you don't STOP doing it.
- Never stop working on yourself in place of placating to a woman's wants/desires. I get it, you got the hot girl so you feel like the man and don't need to work on yourself. Don't be fooled, self-improvement is a lifelong game. Don't be lazy and complacent.
- Be attractive. This one is self-explanatory, but I seen too many guys fall off the wagon as far as looks go once they get into a relationship that I had to hit on this. Your girl might tell you it's okay if you're getting a bit of a beer belly and haven't gotten a haircut in a few weeks, but it's not. My guys, never stop being sexy.
- No woman on this planet is special.
- Never worry about if (really, when) your girl is going to leave you, enjoy her while she's here and forget her when she leaves.
- Remember every girl that you told yourself was the "love of your life", another one came right after her.
- Woman are fickle and their decision to branch swing rarely make sense, that alone should help you not worry when your turn is up.
"These hoes, they for everybody."