Just getting this off my chest, I scrolled through the sidebar a bit before writing this. If this isn't something the TRP addresses Mods feel free to delete it I won't be salty. I've been lurking this website for years.
I am a 26 year old male (USA). I've been feeling inescapable levels of anhedonia the past two years and reading through tons of TRP, Looksmaxing, and self improvement hasn't really helped me get passed it.
In terms of my story I grew up somewhat poor (both of my parents were bad with alcohol and my Dad and I did not have the best relationship). After high school I packed up and went to college in a medium sized city (Metro w/slightly under a million people). Unfortunately, I ran out of money quick and had to resort to fulltime work + community college. Due to financial issues and academic difficulties I didn't manage to get my nursing degree until I was 25 years old despite starting the degree fresh out of high school.
My life after high school graduation was pretty fucking miserable. I worked shit jobs at hotels and restaurants to get by, complete loner with 0 friends, and ran up credit cards. When I graduated nursing school I had $22k in student loans + $7k in credit card debt.
When I graduated I was dead broke. So much so that I moved back in with my mother in the small town that I came from so that I could get my finances right. I got two jobs (1 at a nursing home + 1 at the hospital) and grinded both of them for a whole year. Was able to pay off all of my debt, buy a new car cash, and still save quite a bit of money. I also discovered looksmaxing around this time (lost 60lbs to get to 12% bodyfat, clear skin, white teeth etc...) I ended up sleeping with several coworkers (I know TRP is vehemently against this but I was a 25 year old virgin ready to experience sex and some of them made it too easy).
I know this sounds great and I've made large amounts of progress but truth be told I haven't felt any sort of consistent happiness since before the pandemic. I don't wake up enthusiastic about life (I hate bedside nursing like a motherfucker and nothing else interests me). I don't have a large friend group despite me being a friendly person. I've never experienced having a girlfriend (When I was struggling financially in college I was too broke to justify it + I'm embarassed that I live with my mom right now).
TLDR: I can't understand or get to the bottom of why I feel so miserable and uninspired. While paying off debt got me some freedom, I don't feel like an accomplished person or proud of myself. I workout daily. I work hard at my job and my coworkers all praise me for how well I do with my patients. No matter what I have to drag myself to do anything. In terms of other men I just feel like I don't relate to them or have the same sense of humor. My mother believes that I should move to a real city but I have no clue where should I even go. How do I fall in love with life again?
No-Stress-Cat 2 1w ago
Sounds like you need an adrenaline rush. Try out something like parachuting, hang-gliding, or rock climbing.
GyalDem55 1w ago
That's probably a big part of it. My life is pretty mundane. I do feel like theres a repetitive and Im just going through the motions a lot of the time.
Musicgoon78 3 1w ago
Have you tried therapy? It sounds like major depression to me.
I would stay away from looksmaxxing it's a great gateway into the black pill and complete loserdom. Guys focus on their looks and the things that really matter like frame, social skills, sense of humor and game get ignored. The more isolated you are, the less joy you're going to have in your life.
Go talk to someone that works with this type of thing. You can develop a game plan then come back here when you get stuck with game or dating.
GyalDem55 1w ago
I probably should. Now that I've read through what I wrote a whole day later that is probably the most obvious and logical course of action. I think the reason I got so hooked on TRP is I thought it was a lacking of fitness or dating options that got me to this point but I think it really is just the socialization. Im gonna try my hands at therapy and really push myself to do an activity.
Dxmx99 1w ago
The thing about coworkers is that you're doing an activity with a person, and a lot. They see the sides of you that some random bar chick doesn't.
If you want to try something new, find a hobby or play billards. Something that requires getting to know the group. There's no risk of being fired, just don't go spilling about who you fuck - being thought a player vs being known as one is different.
GyalDem55 1w ago
Will keep this in mind
First-light 2 1w ago
It looks like you have done well really. You have taken responsibility for yourself, worked hard, got a qualification that will always pay a wage and are debt free. That is something to be proud of.
Anhedonia can be a proper medical problem and its worth researching that but it can also be something that your life gives you. Some kind of shake up in life might be a good idea as a sort of re-set. One great thing about your qualification is that it can take you all over the place, so starting over somewhere else is never going to be a problem. Have you considered any particular nursing specialism that might be more interesting? Or what about nursing in the military (which can lead to an early retirement and a great pension) or in disaster relief or just in another place that is very different? Such things could provide more interest and a bit of a shake up to re-boot life. The great thing is that none of these possible re-boots costs you much in terms of personal risk. You have family to move around and even if it all goes wrong, you still have the degree and if worst comes to worst you can still walk into an agency in pretty much any city and say "put me in a job" and they will.
It is also a good idea to consider what gives you joy. You are quite young and you have spent a lot of time grinding hard towards a career that is not classically masculine. You may not have given much attention to what you actually enjoy. Forget about what gets women or money or status, what do you actually fancy as a hobby? Getting in with a group of men who share a common hobby can be really good. I think you could just make yourself try things that you think might be interesting.
Whatever you do, don't do nothing and hope it goes away. You are in a great position to try stuff, so make use of that. You will never be so young, free, energetic and good looking again. Use it.