I 19M have been finding it hard to maintain consistency in the good habits like: gym, studying,watching old noirs. There are certain elements I'd attribute to my chronic downfall -Watching porn and masturbating -Comparing myself on social media -Eating junk Everytime I get blocked by a girl some questions ring around my head I did everything right but how did it end ? I didn't chase, I didn't give compliments. It makes me hate women how hypergamous they are that's the only reason I can justify their blocking me from irl aswell as socials. I've been posting 2-3 times a week on socials to grab some connections from there. It's slow but it's minimal. I am short I am skinny and I have $0 to my name. I am already working on the skinny part but the rest for now I can't control. I'm in a major phase of my life where I have to select to study locally or abroad. The last 2 weeks I only hit 1-2 times gym, fapped like 20-30 times maybe even more ate junk and watched depressing blackpill edits. I wanna know Is there any hope for a 5'7 brown guy if he fixes himself. I can't bare to trust women anymore I just want sex from them that's all I can't think of them normally anymore. Questions How do I become emotionally invincible to ghosting and blocking? Would I have a chance in going for "my type" if I increase my smv ? Should I just delete social media and go ghost would it guarantee some sort of improvement then current? How do you recover out of doom mindset? Thanks ?? in advance
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First-light 2 1w ago
I think in your case you have time on your side. There are many years to go and you will be an old man for a lot longer than you will be a young one. So my advice is to play the long game of self improvement and do not look at the current results except as feedback for learning.
Certainly keep practising talking to women but don't make it nearly as important as practising good habits. Good habits usually come out on top over the years.
Eat well, drink little, indulge in smoking and drugs only occasionally if at all. Get up early. Exercise wisely -ideally some aerobic exercise, some strength training. Go to bed early, be polite to everyone. Finish the work you are given early. Try to see how you can leave people happier and better than you found them in all your interactions. Save money. Invest your savings wisely. Do these things and you will become an organised man and well liked who can trust himself, who has reason to do so. There will be no fakery, no trying to look your best. You will simply be a solid guy.
Meantime practise talking to people, practise talking to women, try to chat a few up if you think they are up for it. Note the results, improve, repeat.
These things are simple to say and take years to master but you have years. Use them well. Before you know they will be gone.
My advice is conquer eating, sleeping, abstaining from bad things and exercising first. The others are all much much easier when those are lined up right.
GeorgeIII 1 1w ago
Jeez. OP, you are still in bad shape. The first thing you need to do is fix your mental health. I recall from a previous post about a month ago that you have a variety of traumas and obsessions (like gooning and women). You need to get that sorted out first.
———
Yes, I know you are Punjabi. Yes, I know you are 5’7”. I know that makes things ultra hard mode for you, that’s exactly the opposite of most girls’ first choice.
I understand you are getting bullshit treatment from girls no matter what you do (ghosted, blocked, rejected, etc). That you don’t even have the money to betabux or hire actual whores.
The reality is: it will be fucking hard for you no matter what. I see two choices:
(1) commit yourself to improving. This will take years: you will need to improve mental health first. Then gym and social skills. And working on studying, then money in parallel. And again, it will be hard. You will not have a straight and easy path. There will be lots and lots of bad times.
(2) surrender your desire. If you are really so undisciplined, and your situation is so bad you truly believe you can’t change it, then quit trying. And give up on ever having girls or getting your shit together. But that also means no more complaining about girls rejecting you, no more complaining that gym is hard, no more complaining about anxiety or social media. Truly surrendering your desire is extremely difficult, probably harder than (1). And in your heart, I don’t think you want to give up what you want. Even if you say you will surrender today, I bet you will be back on this forum posting a similar thing again in a month.
———
Side note:
Yes, you should go to the gym 3 times a week. Yes you should be studying most days. But even doing gym once a week and studying twice a week is better than nothing.
You don’t need to come here and panic to us after one month because things are not going perfect. One month is too little time to see the real big results.
You literally have posted 5 times in the last 3 months with something similar to this. Patience. Patience with yourself and the process. You aren’t going from loser incel to Chad in 1 month. Heck, you aren’t going to get a single girl for at least a year, given how bad your mental state is. Patience. You are only 19.
No-Stress-Cat 2 1w ago
This here. When I first started hitting the gym, it took 3 months for me to even notice any changes, and that was looking at pictures taken at the end of each month. Fortunately for OP, he's young and has the energy to do jobs in physical labor. That is a good way maintain one's strength and stamina when not working out.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Cc: @Hamzter
Yes while it will take you multiple years of effort to get decent results, if you just stop gooning, get paid, lift, and socialize with friends you will easily hit "good enough ' with enough women that if you want to get laid you probably can often enough (even if it's not the women you truly want)
But you're not hitting "good enough" if you keep insisting on living a zero SMV lifestyle. In fact I would say you're living a negative smv lifestyle. As in someone with lower baseline desirability than you would be better off than you merely by not doing all the unattractive things you are doing, and without necessarily doing attractive things to have an advantage over you
As in you are authentically just tanking your own value for no other reason than that you don't care and dislike yourself
Hamzter Can't think for myself 1w ago
While there are many setbacks to my life and my personality as of right now being unaware how miserable I am is not one of them. I'm balding but im taking min-fin for that. I understand fully now that I'm way more troubled than others mainly by the choices I've made. You cannot get paid decently here until you get a college degree which costs the same as in us. I feel like I've come to hate women and I don't want any part of them. While there are certain types of women physically I'd go for they won't bat me an eye. It's just that I see more negativity than positivity out of my life. Also I'm sorry for posting incessantly but only posting here gives me some sort of relief
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Well dude, this isn't "TellTRP"
If you just want to bitch and moan for relief and not take any advice whatsoever then go post it in trp.red where there are no expectations or posting standards for the most part (in the hub at least and the AskTRP there)
Cc: @Typo-MAGAshiv
Hamzter Can't think for myself 1w ago
It's just that I don't see a way out. Here in Pakistan you can't get a decent job without a degree. Heck the only choices between gurls I will ever have is "date to marry" even then I'd never be able to compete 6 percent inflation annually. I'll never make enough on a job to get to buy a house or car. As it stands I guess I think I'm not ugly but I feel more hopeless than hopeful about my situation. The only good thing about my life is my dog. I get shit on by my "little brother" for failing academically sometimes I think I'll just escape to anywhere and completely start off from scratch but I realize I won't get anything until I reach 40. These circumstances I see and I just goon out of perpetual miserym anyways thanks man actions matter
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
You need to find something to do
And half of this is excuses. The fact of the matter is you are gooning and skipping the gym and generally being lazy.
You could fix that tomorrow but you would rather complain
Hamzter Can't think for myself 1w ago
No I completely agree on that. The gym factor I can certainately improve. The gooning I somehow still find it beneficial as knowing I won't be getting any action for the next 2-4 yrs but yes you are right If I want to give my best efforts I must not be numb all the time
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
This is absolutely not what George and everyone else said. At all.
Now you are making a ton of excuses and twisting words to be lazy
Seriously dude. There are so many women who want to fuck. Stop being lazy and defeatest and you'll act get somewhere in a few months
GeorgeIII 1 1w ago
I realized I glossed over an important detail: you live in Pakistan, not in the West as an immigrant/child of immigrants.
I’ve got several friends from there, as I work in the tech industry. Most of them aren’t going to move back, as their career prospects are much better in the West.
———
I’m reading on Google the average height for men in Pakistan is 5’6”. So you definitely are not short. You also have no nearly competition who are White men. And gym/fitness culture in Pakistan barely exists, so you would look better than average pretty quickly with 3 gym/week and a diet. I think there’s so little looksmaxxing you need to do, it essentially isn’t a problem.
As for girls, this part I don’t know well, as my friends are definitely not brown Chads. Is casual sex/dating even a realistic choice? You live in a socially conservative Muslim country, where girls will have real problems if they do that shit. If there is no culture of just dating around like a whore, you can’t realistically expect to get in those circles.
———
OP, the more I am thinking about it, the more I suspect your main problem is the internet ruining your brain. You’ve written about using social media, looksmaxxing, and porn addiction. All of which stem from internet products coming out of the West.
The thing that’s killing you most is the porn. It makes you have unrealistic standards about what women look like, what they will do in bed, and how approachable they are. It really warps your brain.
At bare minimum, if you’re not going to do anything else to fix your life, go on NoFap. I’m on it right now, and I can tell you this: the worst cravings will go away after 2 weeks. Paradoxically, watching porn actually makes you way hornier and dependent on more porn.
And if you can’t be bothered to at least quit jacking off, no one can help you anyway.
Hamzter Can't think for myself 1w ago
Hey thanks for replying. While it's true one can improve with fitness and all. It's not like I'm not in the gym I am yet I haven't been able to get lean I'm stuck at 62kg 5'7. Before I submit myself to the deafetist mindset here's what's going on in the dating market over here. Dating happens over here and so does sex anybody telling you it doesn't is a lier. I'm competing with -Military guys from military family who have some business financed by the government The average median income for an average Joe here is $2000 per year yes per year . -Gen Z man it's the foolish gen Z of all the girls I've come across irl or online they all want the perfect package I'm no where near it (But like vermillion said I can try or continue to Suffer) -Im not watching porn in the traditional sense rather it's more fxked up cucks share nude pics of their wives gfs on sites hoping some dude would jerk off to her and we form a twisted bond on other apps like Snapchat or telegram which revolves in jerking to the cucks wife to printing her and etc.
GeorgeIII 1 1w ago
Man, if it’s cucks online sharing, then don’t go on those damn channels or sites or whatever. Nobody is forcing you to do that.
As for Romania and Hungary, if you have a good reason to study there (I assume it’s better opportunity than PAK), then go for it. Just know that in both places, you will not be the ideal type for the local girls, they will want White unless you have money or game.
But you still gotta sort out your own shit. I’ve moved to a different country for studying too. It can be an excellent way to get out of your shitty family and societal system, it did wonders for me socially. But if you bring your baggage and bad habits over, you are still gonna have those problems.
Figure out how to get out of porn first. That will improve your psychology with yourself and with women. And not getting dopamine from porn and jacking off will improve your motivation and consistency.
Dopamine resistance from porn and drugs is a real thing, and it keeps you on the couch and not in the gym/library.
Next post we see from you here, we want to see some tangible improvements, not another start from square 1.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Also delete all the cuck shit
Get rid of your passwords. Block the sites if you have to. Block these people
This is worse than porn, which has less emotional investment than whatever you're doing
Stop it.
And make yourself go to the gym 3-4 times a week if not every other day if you can't manage to be consistent
Figure out other work opportunities. Come up with a side business if you to. Plenty of low cost single machine startup ideas for additional income
Hamzter Can't think for myself 1w ago
You are right I need to get my shit together and become more mentally strong.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
This is the most self aware comment I've seen you make on this forum
If you show that same attitude in your next post here I will remove your flair
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Cc: @Typo-MAGAshiv re the flair
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
If it's seriously this hopeless then stop posting here and wasting everyone's time
You have not improved at all in two years
Secondly, if you think there is hope then actually listen instead of acting this stubborn
pofkaf 1 1w ago
Can't add much that hasn't already been said. Read the sidebar and get to work.
One thing to note is that you're only 19yo. That's young as fuck. I was still a virgin at your age. But I implemented strategies to improve myself that I learned from this forum and TRP adjacent sources. I started getting mad pussy throughout my 20s. So keep your head up and know that there will still be plenty of opportunities for you.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1w ago Stickied
Paragraphs. Formatting. Use it.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
You're wasting our time and yours on here if you have zero plans to build your life and have an ounce of drive or discipline
You're getting the can't think for self flair till you fix half your shit
@Typo-MAGAshiv
Musicgoon78 3 1w ago
This is so fucking bad! The vast majority of your problems are just you being a lazy fuck. Get off the blackpill Subreddits, clean up your diet and work on your social skills instead of comparing yourself to people that have a drive to do shit.
100% of this is your fault and your choice. You've made an active decision to be a loser. And you want everybody to wipe your ass and give you a magic fix. There is no magic fix. You really need to get to fucking work.
You listed off exactly what you're doing wrong so you know exactly how to fix it. So don't come in here crying and expect us to treat you well when you're being a fucking idiot.
Make better decisions than deciding to be a fucking loser.
Dxmx99 2d ago
You're completely outcome dependent. It doesn't matter if you dont chase and say nice things sometimes, that isn't where the bar is for doing things "right."
How are you going to make any difference in your life at all, especially with women, if you won't work on these bad habits? Are you going to cry, masturbate, cry, text a stranger on facebook, and stuff your fat ass face every night?
Don't you see how these habits might effect the energy you put into dating? What's the smart move, women first - or bad habits first?
SIDEBAR. Hypergamy or not, they're not blocking you because of your midget porn addiction.
Serious question, are you autistic? Are you able to speak to people face to face normally?
Are you homeless? Do you sleep in a bed at night? Do you get to eat food and drink water?
Shelter, food, water. That's all a man needs to live. Suffering from lacking what you desire is a choice. You can choose to be grateful. Write in a journal every day about being grateful.
Dude, this is where I fucking envy you. I'm on a caloric cut trying to get shredded as possible, I'm at the point where I'm downing ephedrine twice a day just to curb hunger all together. The final push. I've been in the gym 3 or 4 times but I've fapped exactly ONCE. Granted, I've gotten laid twice the last week but my dick is being conservative as fuck with it's availability. I literally have to get penciled in, this low energy low libido shit sucks. But hey, difference is - my issues stem from progress. You can get these problems, too, if you make a plan and get off the ride you're on. Which is probably an early death, to be honest.
There's no such thing as social media game without real life game. You need to be living outside and meeting people and doing shit in order to have a worthwhile social media presence.
If youre depending on social media to be your vehicle of sex success, what are you going to show on there that will hook women? How are you going to collect a wealth of experience with women without meeting them in person? Is social media going to get you ripped, strong, and muscular? Are you banking on social media to raise your SMV? How do you intend on doing that?
You cant answer those questions without creating something outside of social media. Fuck social media, it's all bots anyway.
Edit: if this doesnt give you hope, nothing will, but I work as a bouncer every Friday and Saturday and last night I saw a skinny short asian kid, dorky looking seriously, getting happily frisky with 2 cute women. They were eating him up! He grabbed them both by the hands and ran off with them - vanished, probably had the single greatest moment of his life last night. There's a piece of the pie for everyone who can get after it.