Following on from my previous post I first sent her a message negging her / making fun of her a little I got no reply then followed up with a message 2 days later direct to the point saying "Meet me in X on Saturday"
After 3 Days of silence I got this reply:-
She said "sorry been back and forth to hospital all weekend and last few days back to work sadly"
So she was visiting her friends sick kid in hospital which is sweet I guess. With that said I think its an indicator of low interest that she didn't read my message or reply for such a long time as I believe if a girl had strong desire she would.
Do I go silent because I suggested we meet and she hasn't suggested an alternative day to meet? Or do I answer with a brief message like "No problem I guessed that may be the case hope all is ok now"
My attempt to answer my question - Going silent seems a little counterproductive I think I should just reply with "No problem I guessed that may be the case hope all is ok now" then wait and see if she messages me again dating other girls in the meantime?
Side note - I actually have a date with another girl lined up anyway and I guarantee I wont make the same mistake twice so that's a positive.
Musicgoon78 3 5d ago
I'm afraid to ask, but I will anyways. You said you negged her. What did you say? This could be the biggest indicator of bad game.
She seems low interest right now. Reaching out after she snubbed you shows her that you have no options. If she's not chomping at the bit to see you, she could care less if you two go out.
Farang131 5d ago
I think I'd call it teasing her a little rather than negging anyway the back story is she was baking sweet treats and taking them into work so I said this-
Hey I don't want to alarm you but I heard a rumour that staff in custody suites are being poisoned by home baked food I really hope you covered your tracks properly.
So its a playful joke that's taking the piss a little.
No-Stress-Cat 5d ago
Good call. You put the ball in her court and see if she passes it back. Meanwhile, maintain your other commitments.
Farang131 5d ago
Thanks I'm glad you like it.
Farang131 5d ago
Would it be terrible to put this instead ""No problem I guessed that may be the case hope all is ok now. When are you next off work?" as Vermillion-Rx thinks that its ok to ask her when she is free and nothing to be worried about.
I think asking her when she is off work is better than asking when shes free as it assumes she will want to meet at the first opportunity.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 5d ago
You've asked about this same woman a lot.
It seems she's your only prospect.
Fix that.
Farang131 5d ago
Fair point mate and it is fixed I'm seeing another woman on Saturday I just want to keep both plates spinning if I can.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
You haven't fucked her she isn't a plate. Don't abuse these terms
Farang131 5d ago
Ok I mean leave her as a possibility then.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
If she's not making plans with you she's not a possibility either
Farang131 5d ago
Ok then I mean leave it with the best chance of maybe being a possibility / not make it worse.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 5d ago
She's a possibility of a maybe of a prospect, perhaps!
Farang131 5d ago
Yes that sounds about right.
GeorgeIII 1 5d ago
I tend to guess that she is low interest too, but you might not be cooked here.
If she replied that she is down to go with you, just not exactly now, you could still be fine. If that kid is really not doing well, it’s completely fair she takes care of her business first.
From your post here, I understand she did not accept your date invite for Saturday. I think your “No problem…” message is good here, being chill.
Assume you won’t see her again. She has to reach out to you now to make the date happen. If you ask again at this point, you look like a pussy beggar.
Farang131 5d ago
Yes I agree it hints at low interest but if I keep my frame it might work out.
She didn't say she wanted to see me again she didn't address my suggestion of meeting but if this kid is ill its fair like you say that she has other priorities.
Yes I am inclined to agree. She knows in no uncertain terms that I want to see her again and I clearly said so and I don't want to look like a beggar.
If she messages me again then I will arrange to meet if she doesn't then so be it. It could be a test to see if I chase or not.
I had a date lined up on Saturday not a particilarly hot girl but if it stops me fixating on this one its a good thing.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
I don't know why you guys always do the alpha male schtick of "meet on [day I have no idea if she's free] at [x time on day I don't know if she's free]"
I lament all the old school field reports where guys got lucky pulling that shit and then expected every other man to magically get a specific woman free at that day and time whilst having no idea what her schedule is like because they didn't give a shit if the girl said yes or not for that day, unlike the men reading their field reports
You guys need to stop trying to pull alpha bravado cards out of your sleeves and use basic social skills to get optimal logistics (like knowing when she is free) before blowing your logistical wad at her
The free at x time approach really only is worth anything to use if there is actually something you're already doing at that time and blowing through your phone seeing which chick wants to join, not for unlocking a specific woman in particular to do what you want her to do OR if you genuinely do not care if a woman says yes or not to it and don't feel inclined to make a post about it if she says no
....
I think you already blew this set by not playing ball when she wanted to. Now you approaching after being cold and too aloof for a week after a good date probably has her viewing it as your other plans didn't work out so now you're circling back. Also shooting plans at her without any proper set up after already messing up the first round isn't helping telegraph that you are serious about making plans that work out
If she is still on the apps where you met her she also likely has competing plans. You are just fishing in a pool you already drained in my opinion for fish that is no longer fresh
I think you should ask when she is free and just make plans on that day. If she says no move on. You're making this so infinitely more complicated than it should have ever been to begin with
Dxmx99 3d ago
Guilty of it myself, but I agree.
It IS a solid show of confidence and shows some balls to just lay it out directly, not a lot of guys just shoot, however if shes not free then you have to plan and thats pushy imo.
Plan first, then execute. "Give me the details of your week, We're going for tacos and mezcal. "
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3d ago
I mean yeah, if you actually want the highest percentage chance of getting plans, just dropping ultra specific timing on her is low success, especially weekends
If she happened to be free and said yes you would seem confident but of course if she's not even free than the guy walks away with zero logistics because of the obvious constraint of her not even being free
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 5d ago
I'm going to copy and paste a quote that I think is important and might get buried among the rest of what you said:
Example: you might be planning to attend event X. You're going to go even if you go alone, because event X is something you just want to do. You have a roster of plates and prospects you can invite along. You might start with your favorite, or you might start with the one you think is most likely to enjoy that event. But you ask 1 at a time until you either get a "yes" or run out of prospects. Then maybe invite a friend. If no one can and/or wants to go, you still go because you were planning to anyway.
Back before he took all his stuff down, Roosh had a decent blog post about this called "I Hope She Flakes". By that point in his journey, he started making all of his dates stuff he would want to do anyway, and he frequently found that he enjoyed doing many of these activities alone more than he enjoyed going through the motions and getting laid.
Farang131 5d ago
Thanks for your reply this is where things get conflicted as some guys on here say "never ask a girl when she is free" but you are recommending I do exactly that. As she works shifts it would be much more convenient and normal to ask that question but guys here seem to have a heart attack when do you because they think its a terrible thing to do.
As for being aloof I told her from the very start I would be busy until the 5th and why and I responded to all her messages until the 1st so it shouldn't be an indicator of me having other plans that didn't work out.
So would you recommend I say this "No problem I guessed that may be the case hope all is ok now. When are you next off work?"
Vermillion-Rx Admin 5d ago
I rarely see men here say that. Who are you referring to? You need to stop listening to nonsensical social LARP. If it doesn't even make sense at face value you shouldn't listen to it. What else is she supposed to do, drop work for you? And what are you supposed to do: not ask her out on days she's actually free?
If it makes no common sense disregard it.
Telling a girl when you're free and not suggesting a time is pointless. Women hate leading
Every single day that has passed since you originally could have made plans when you she was interested and you were sending texts that had nothing to do with making her excited for more plans hurt you
At this point express some sympathy for the hospital thing and ask her what days are good for her to meet up again.
She is probably going to say no because this has been such sloppy buzzkill progression after a good date from a guy she wanted that night.
Ask her out and get it over with, your odds are already low at this point for not just acting like a normal dude who wants to fuck when he has the chance. There isn't anymore to add to this conversation you could have tried to make actual plans since your last post. It's most certainly over, this is sloppy
Farang131 5d ago
I see it said in this very post and all over game / pickup strategy other comments here refer to that.
Ok I will send "No problem I guessed that may be the case hope things are improving now. What days are you free to meet?" then I will go silent and wait.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
I looked at the entire post, I do not see one man saying "randomly pick one single day and invite her to it"
We are not reading the same post. And even if someone said that, why would you do it? That's a skill you use when you actually know when to do that, not a woman you are too invested in seeing whose schedule is unknown
Why would you say guessed that may be the case. Sounds defeated. Just express sympathy for the kid in the hospital and then ask if she has time
Farang131 4d ago
Because she already told me that she had to cancel a trip with her female friend due to the kid being ill so I guessed she was probably doing hospital visits.
Ok maybe not in this post but its all over this site and PUA in general. Guys go crazy if they catch you saying something like "when are you free to meet" or "let me know when you're free" they always say take the lead and say "meet me X day and time" and say don't worry if she cant make it if she is interested she will make an alternative suggestion.
Here is a quote from my previous post which is exactly what I'm talking about:-
Here is a quote from what you said on my previous post
Note that you said tell her when you are free not ask her when are you free.
Here is another quote
If she says "I'm free Monday to Friday" it implies low value If she says "Thursday" then you might not be free Thursday and she might want to see you She is committing to a plan without knowing what the plan is. What if you follow up her commitment with something she doesn't want to do. I know it's natural to do this, but don't.
The ideal model is "Hey... I'm doing X cool thing on Wednesday, come join me".
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
And are they point flaired or have special flairs? Are they credible? You guys need to stop doing this shit just because you saw it online as if saying random shit to women automatically unlocks their pussy. Red pill used to just be for guys who were too blue pilled and needed to be more masculine, not for guys who can't understand the constraints of basic social nuance. That advice was never meant for spergs to take literally without a second thought of when to do that.
You need to ask yourself going forward if online advice is meant for a man who already gets it but just needs to let his testicles descend or the advice is meant for a complete autist who doesn't know anything at all. In this case the "give her x time and day" is not meant for guys such as yourself who can't seem to apply common sense to it and you should treat it as such.
It is incredibly frustrating teaching men basic common sense on here and their excuse is "but TRP/PUA said!" no it didn't you just didn't use common sense with what you were reading.
Because YOU told her YOU were busy. So YOU should tell HER when YOU can make plans again. And YOU should have made plans instead of dragging your nuts on text. Which includes asking HER when SHE is free.
You guys are almost impossible to work with if your entire mental model is "ButThIS guy LIteraLLy sdAID thIS onLinE" seriously dude what do you think it's like reading that you treat my advice like this. It makes me not want to bother because I feel like I have to have a lawyer read through every small quip i make to make it ironclad crystal clear to understand instead of you employing common sense. I'm not going to spend all that time making something crytstal clear for you to interpret.
Holy fuck i do not want to bother anymore. You are making this fucking impossible. She does not deserve this. She does not deserve a man who is so fixated on looking alpha when he can't even make basic fucking logistics because doing so might be "too low value" in his mind. Holy fuck man.
I'm done. "when are you free?" her: Tuesday and Thursday
you *are busy thursday but free on Tuesday* You: how about Tuesday, that works for me.
Her: yes what do you have in mind
You: lets do X
HEr: agrees
Holy fuck man, you are a piece of work. You need to work on your basic social skills before you ever deal with women. Making plans isn't supposed to an existential struggle with how high or low value it is so you can meet some checklist being a Chad when she already wanted to take you to your place after the date.
This shit makes my blood boil because you guys are singlehandedly preventing yourselves from getting laid and wasting people's time because you refuse to take common sense advice and then blame everything you don't understand on the internet that you read some no-name say once
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
I'm being blunt and extremely critical because you evidently need it. You have too much nonsense in your head to deprogram before you even bother with women. She does not deserve to deal with this. If you guys can't even make plans you should not be dating a woman, much less even trying to fuck her
Farang131 4d ago
ok thanks for your reply.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
I'm not trying to make you feel bad, it's just in my experience if men do not understand basic social no amount of hours coaching them or giving them feedback works
They always make the same basic mistakes no matter what you explain to them
If you fix that I'll consider replying to your AskTRP again
Farang131 4d ago
I understand. I don't intend to make any of the same mistakes we have discussed in the last 2 of my posts so its fine.
As for the "Never ask her when she is free rule" I never liked it all that much to be honest and I thought it was awkward but many people absolutely insisted on it to the point of saying "I know its awkward and counter intuitive but trust me" and some of them had "credibility". The thing with the internet is you cant really tell who is credible and who isn't.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4d ago
and how was that supposed to work out when they said that? without having any idea what her schedule is.
It didn't occur to you that that advice had missing information like already knowing her schedule or not caring if she couldn't make it? You and anyone else reading this comment needs to understand that the average game advice assumes the guy reading it has basic social understanding and that there are other things that have to be aligned like you ask 10 girls the same question
None of this "do x in general" advice you seem to be clinging onto expects dudes to not understand nuance and only be talking to one girl or using it on only one prospect. This advice assumes you are talking to so many chicks and have basic social skills so the ones of the many chicks you are talking to who are interested enough will probably be available or cancel plans to make it to yours.
NONE of that advice assumes guys will take it absolutely literally and have them shoot their shot like that at ONE SINGLE WOMAN and assume it will magically work
The average game advice online is aimed at the guy who has a minimal level of understanding of optimal game volume, not your situation where you blow your shot on one chick and then spam a high volume strategy on a single specific chick. Basic game advice assumes you have so many options that that strategy will quickly work on SOMEONE.
Guys who don't understand this and finding game content is the absolute worst thing for their game. I firmly believe half of you should have never found game content online because half of you take it literally and don't understand the missing base assumptions that you are supposed to read the content with while reading it. And these authors didn't anticipate guys reading their stuff literally like that. Guys who write game content assume the reader understands basic game volume assumptions
If you are only really working on one chick, you do not use maxmimum efficiency strategies on her, you use the strategy most likely to work on HER. If you are talking to 10 chicks, you use the strategy that filters out the most interested and most available one the fastest (meet me at XYZ) because 1/10 chicks minumum probably can and will and your lack of investment will look hot to that one chick even though it was spitballing. You completely misunderstand what the advice is aimed at and when or why to do it
Farang131 2d ago
Ok thats fair enough. I know I come across as completely cluess but I must be getting at least part of it right as I beat the 1OOOs of other guys on tinder to get a date with her and got her interested enough to kiss and initiate kissing I just ballsed it up at the end is all but I have defintely learnt from it and I actually dated another girl yesterday and will improve for sure.
I am also talking to multiple girls right now not just 1.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1d ago
The bar for game is not that high man
Game success and red pill knowledge are two very different things
Farang131 1d ago
ok fair enough
mattyanon Admin 5d ago
The answer to this is to leave it a day and say "Sure, no problem".
That's it. Nothing more.
No.
She SAYS she was visiting hospital. Do not simply accept this as fact. The only fact is that she said this. It is not a fact that it happened.
Yes, but hear me out:
You've not met her right?
So, you're a maybe at best. She's not going to be super excited about you because she has 10 million other options on Tinder. You might be interesting to her, you might be a serial killer. You haven't punched through into her reality yet.
And that's fine...... but you are committing WAYYYYYYYYYYYY too much emotional energy to this. More than she is. And that's a problem.
You don't even know she isn't Anju from Lahore yet.
Not that much effort...... it's simple "sure, no problem".
If she is interested she'll say "great... maybe another time?"
If she isn't interested then she won't.
Going silent won't work if she is testing the waters to see if it's worth her suggesting another time. So you want to be chill and non commital.
Good.
The fundamental issue is that you need a lot more options, and to stop caring.
You should be aiming to low-key and low-effort filter out the non-starters.
Tell her it's all good, but DO NOTHING MORE until she does more.
If she won't meet you halfway...... fucking NEXT.
Farang131 5d ago
No that's incorrect we already met once and very passionately kissed. I could most likely have escalated to sex but due to bad logistics and a time constraint on my part I didn't which I admit was a mistake.
I did go quiet on her for a number of days so I was thinking a bit more than "sure no problem" would be best.