Profile: 35 my, 1.86m. I make now and finally 10k a month steadly, after making no shit from 0 to 30 and some shit from 30 to 35.
I have my own middle class car and apartment.
For the past year i had a thing with a girl, that i thought was more than a "joke". Yet, she started coming up with rules, after telling stories that why she made those (ex: i dont do this because once i did and didnt go well - translation i did with other guy but you go wait over there).
The last drop was she going dinner with a dude who told her, me, and all the world he wants to date her. Although is a fat old (like 65) dude who is a work colleague, i had already expressed my opposition to this friendship, because of his overtly said intentions. After that and i saying i'm "done", she sent something basically as i'm just being annoyingly pushy and stupid and tried do make me feel bad for the guy. Well, i said basically the "stay well" and "be gone", with no more than 5 words or so.
Now i'm here at 35 rusty and i don't even know how to go flirt anymore. To be honest i feel old and ridiculous at doing so.
TLDR i feel old ugly and rusty. Im 35 and no hair. Yes i'm in shape but woman at 35-40 gap are married or traumatized and with the 25ish i feel weird
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
You had a thing with a girl for the past year and that was sufficient to make you rusty? Did you not run even a lick of game in your relationship if you just left it and have no skills?
This is a bigger problem than being 35. Your life definitely isn't over and you already have a solid monthly income, something most guys can't even dream of till they are 60 if ever
Go learn some game and stop dooming. You are way above most people's income and it sounds like you just need to stop being a whiney bitch and learn game. Did you not learn any serious game in your 30s even?
brazilianxof 1w ago
I lived in her world. One time, more recent, she asked what do i do in my free time, i answered "nothing" thinking "how is this the real answer?" But it was. And i also knew we were in the finish line by then.
Thing is i acted as a psychopact to have this job, so no, i did not run a lick of game. And now i have free time and comfortable cash, but a lack of life. To be honest if i was to "checklist my life", this is the last square to check. But everyone else start by this one, so i feel like Walter Mitty or the 40 Years Old Virgin or something like that when interacting.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Well it sounds like you know what to work on next
At any rate wallowing and feeling awkward is not going to do you any good. You are leagues ahead than most men will ever be
GeorgeIII 1w ago
You are doing quite well OP. The money and place to live are actually pretty difficult to secure as a single person today. And 35 definitely is not a bad time to be in your situation. Plus you are pretty tall (186cm is 6’1” or 6’2”)
It sounds like the most important thing for you is to work on game and socializing with others in general. That includes men. And don’t commit to an LTR for a while. You need to learn how to build your own life and frame before you go back to LTR. This is really important for you right now because being 35, having your own place, and making that money will make girls try to get commitment from you. Don’t hand it out for free.
One thing I didn’t see mentioned in your post is your gym/diet habits and physique. You don’t want your attractiveness to be based only on your money. You need to develop both game and physical attractiveness to avoid being used for beta bucks. If you are already lifting well even better for you.
First-light 2 1w ago
You are just feeling down. There is nothing to worry about in your situation. Feeling sore is understandable. It just means that you have not been broken by "dating", that you still can hope to bond with someone.
It is true what you say about women aged around 35 -there has to be a reason why they are single and you have to get to the bottom of that before even agreeing to a first date. Many are already broken (women damage more easily in relationships and from abusing their sexuality like a drug). Others are too busy with work to be suitable girlfriends and wives, others are just mentally wrong. You will have to look hard to find one that is single for a good reason and I would definitely remain open to younger women as well. However, you really do not have a problem.
If you find you have nothing you do in your free time, do something you like. Take a little time to care for yourself and enjoy life and soon enough the women will be after a man in your position.
Lone_Ranger 3 1w ago
Dude, you need to calm down - everything is ok.
I can't say without more information if you were correct to ditch that last LTR, but what I am getting is this: you were living in her frame. You allowed her to set the rules and norms, and that never ever works.
35 is young for a man. I'm 55 now, and its still fairly easy to score. I think most young men (like you) simply do not realise how long the window is for men ....our 'prime' is simply much longer than you think it is.
I think what you need now is a period where you de-centre women from your life. I am not talking MIGTOW, I am simply talking about not putting the at the centre of your life.
The trick is to think of women like a sunny day. We all enjoy a sunny day, but you just have to let it happen. Dont obsesses over women. They are everwhere. When you relax about women, and just focus on living your best life, then women 'happen'. They just arrive at your doorstep. The fall into your lap. Sort you life out.
Start thinking about wealth management (yes, even at 10k a month you should be thinking about wealth management - real estate, pensions etc). Carrer progression, social and business networks - that sort of thing.
It's time to focus on empire building and forget about women. Women will always be there, just don't make them your focus.
yinandyang 1w ago
I think yes, he should do wealth management, but I think de-centering women from his life right now is bad. Because then he will not do any cold approaches. This man describes himself as rusty and socially awkward, I think the problem will be solved in a few months to a year if he just cold approaches 100-200 women per week.
yinandyang 1w ago
just cold approach everyday. Also, looks max. Good on you for dumping her, I have a question, I am here at 25 with no job and no income, what do you do to make 10,000 dollars per month? That sounds really impressive to me, I've never even had 10,000 dollars in my life and can't keep any job. My best job offer right now is to work in a dog shelter with terrible hours for 10 dollars per hour. I'd love some advice on how to make real substantial money, I have the girls already cuz I am constantly cold approaching but I have no money, it's so bad girls literally pay for both our food at dinner. I know that sounds crazy but yes they do still fuck me afterwards. Anyway, what do you do for money to make 10,000 dollars per month? That would change my life.
brazilianxof 1w ago
I did by not cold approaching any Day and using my time and energy laser focused on those topics. I realized it was impossible to do everything at once.
So you basically take a list, choose the most tangible and profitable area/job you realistically know you can do and dedicate everything to get it.
Don't overlook those "small jobs" like you did. Rich People pay Gold for those who can take care of their dogs. Because they don't have Kids and Live their lifes pretending animais and People are equals. Get the job, save, start selling Pet Stuff, open a pet shop and there you go. Dude, i'm inclined to do this with all those Girls trading babies for cats. Or you go to vet school and same.
yinandyang 3d ago
it only paid 10 dollars an hour, she doesn't want to hire me cuz i have a hard time finding a good time to work with my university schedule. maybe i could ask her again. idk. i wish that i didn't have to work. i have started doing tiktok interviews hoping to get famous.
Musicgoon78 3 1w ago
Looksmax is definitely a retarded incel term. It shows a certain level of misunderstanding about what women find attractive. Women don't think like men.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1w ago
You don't have to "max" anything. You just have to be good enough.
A man will get far more ROI on getting to roughly 7/10 in all categories than he will on putting all his time and effort into becoming a 10/10 in one category and neglecting all others.
yinandyang 1w ago
having money is good but having money does absolutely zero to help you attract a woman when you first meet her in a cold approach. What attracts her is your vibe, your masculine behavior, your body language, what you say, what you're wearing, and how you look.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 1w ago
That's all true, and if you waste your time and energy "looksmaxing" you won't have developed any of those other things you mentioned that weren't looks.
So again, you get far more return getting fairly good at more things, than you do on "maxxing" any one thing, especially looks.