Hello everyone
I've been seeing this girl for about two months. She lives in another city (1h by car) where I have some friends, so I only go there once a month. She's 21F, around a 7.5/10, and the first dates went really well , she showed interest, escalation was smooth.
On our second date we made out, but I had to go back to my city. She later came to visit me, I invited her to dinner, we hooked up and she spent the night. I saw her again when I went to her city, we slept together again.
The issue started when I told her I had a “surprise” for her. What I meant was that I was going to give her a very good time in bed , and I did , she complimented me at bed but who cares she can say this to everyone . She later mentioned she was “waiting for the surprise,” and I got the impression she was expecting something material, which I’m not doing.
Then she reached out again, saying she wanted to come to my city, but she kept pushing to know exactly what we were going to do and if it gonna be more interesting than last times , almost like if my plan didn’t impress her, she wouldn’t come. I told her to come and discover, but she kept insisting. After that she sent me some sexy picture in the lingerie she was wearing last time , and asked me if i miss the red cold , i liked the picture and told her i like red color and looking to see what she gonna wear next time in order to not seem needy .
Looking back, the problem is that I positioned myself as a provider. She’s a student, and I paid for all the dates and now she’s pushing for more. She does show some qualities for an LTR, but since it would be long-distance, I’m questioning if it’s worth it especially that she is hypersexual.
So now I’m wondering: Should I see her one last time and close it properly, or should I just walk away and consider this plate done (She is the only plate i sleep with i have now ,but i'm seeing other girls , scarcity...) ?

cundardunfinished 1w ago
If you enjoy having sex with her I'm not sure why you would preemptively end it. Some plates like the experience of dating in addition to sex. If you enjoy it also then continue to take her out.
You're not beta bucks for buying her a drink or even a meal if you like her. I'll take women out just to have a better memory of my time with them . . the ones where it was only sex tend to leave much less of an impression. And the money isn't really consequential for me. That said know what your limit is and stick to it, understanding that all plates break eventually and it's easier just to accept there is a time limit on the relationship and let it come.
mattyanon Admin 1w ago
I don't think you positioned yourself as a provider, but I think she has expectations that you'll buy her stuff.
This is bad. The best plan is to go equal on dates, but if she has no money to make them really cheap dates.
The problem with paying for dates is the low investment on her end, and the high investment at your end. This kills attraction and puts her in a "can't lose, try to get more" negotiating position.
I'm not certain this is the case from what you've said.
Other possibilities: she likes a plan. she likes to know what's happening. she isn't into surprises (some girls just aren't).
Suggestion: tell her that you're going to show her a really nice outdoor park that's special to you.
There is no such thing as a long distance relationship.
Long distance FWB - sure. but LDR just doesn't exist, so it doesn't matter how good she is for this.
What does "close it properly" mean?
How about this.
Assume she is what you want (hot sex, doesn't need provisioning, likes to know the plan).
Treat her exactly like she is what you want. Tell her the plan, fuck her, don't pay.
If this works then great. If not then also great.
Machiaspinner 1w ago
Thanks for the answer . Ur totally right , i found myself the more investing part in this relationship , i’ll try to opt for cheaper dates to not find myself in the bargaining position , in addition to telling her the plan in advance. What i meant by closing properly is to fuck her one last time and let the plate break.
MarkedAliveS 1w ago
What do you mean?
Do you mean you get it very often and it wasn't any kind of surprise? (lighthearted question with smile but keep waiting for an answer). You likely can ignore the answer.
As a bonus you can do something, call it your favourite thing and that no one knows about it only her and its special.
Bait
Probably it was good to amuse mastery the pictures, not ONLY compliment
Why wouldn't she. If she is not interested that much she want resources. But to be fair if she would be genuinely poor then offering her to cook meal from your ingredients (cooking with her)(make her help cooking) would be refunding her ticket.
Machiaspinner 1w ago
Thank you for the reply. I think what she meant by waiting for the surprise an interesting date with some activities or who knows a materialistic gift . She said it lighthearted. I’ll try the last suggestion , seems pretty valid.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Plates are by definition temporary
They either become your girlfriend or break
Relationships are an entirely different story for how long they can last
pofkaf 1 1w ago
Classic mistake. Sex isn't a "surprise" for women. She can get sex from any old chump.
When you tell her you have a surprise for her, you better come up with something unique and interesting. Otherwise, don't say anything like that at all.
In terms of the relationship: all plates break sooner or later. This one seems salvageable, so I suggest keep it spinning longer. No need to drop her because of your silly mistake. Just keep doing what you're doing until she breaks herself.
Machiaspinner 1w ago
Thanks for the advice . I think i’ll try to keep it spinning even if it’s just a matter of time.
Jackmoter 1w ago
"She" count = 17.
What about you?
Machiaspinner 1w ago
I don’t want to give her my power , if i accept and we go for activities etc.. She will always want more , fucked up situation.
Mountainman 1w ago
Get her some chicken nuggets
dreams 1w ago
It doesn't have to break if you can play your cards right.
You perhaps indirectly set an expectation (don't do that) and now she feels let down for whatever reason. It's normal. Move past it by ignoring it and forgetting it happened. Either she wants to come or she doesn't and by ignoring it she will realize your not some beta bux that has to pay for sex. In order to get her to come over instead of trying to entice her to come over through surprises or experiences, try instead getting her to feel and imagine things.
The more she feels like coming over, the more likely it is she will. When she starts asking you question like what are you doing, don't answer exactly what you are doing. Think about what you can say back to her that will put her in a horny mood, even if it's not true. "Oh nothing, I'm shaving my face"... this activity is sexy and in her mind she will imagine you shaving and that will turn her on. Associate yourself with sex without explicitly saying it out loud. Use suggestive language to entice her, to associate you with a good time. Think of your communication with her as solely to get her to come to your place without you explicitly asking her. You don't really care what she's up to, you just want enough information so you can strategize how to make her imagination run wild.
Most men think they have to buy things and give girls constant new experiences for her to put out. However, if you know how to play with her mind you have an infinite supply of experiences you can grant a woman. Her imagination is the best thing you can play with to keep her 'happy' and addicted to you.
Girl asks me what I did for Thanksgiving, my reply: "I grabbed a turkey leg as big as your thigh (i had grabbed her thigh before during sex and commented how thick it was) and I took a bite out of it you?" Her: lol, i ate some turkey dinner and fell asleep after, me: Was there gravy in your Turkey? me: on*
she responds enthusiastically saying yesss well more on my mash potatoes, me: yum
what does this conversation do? nothing really in terms of information exchange but implicitly it has sexually suggestive undertones and she associates sex with me as opposed to guys who just tell them exactly what they are doing which is boring to her... she doesn't get a feeling or a dopamine spike out of that. So me = fun guy, the other guys = boring guys
Guess who she wants to see late at night and has no expectation of me taking her out to fill her with fun? Why? Because I AM fun by myself.
This is the type of conversation you should be having with her in order to entice her to come. If you can give her a great experience with money do it, but it shouldn't be the basis for your relationship with her.
Hugo_The_Great 1w ago
Becoming THAT guy is what it's all about.
If you can fondle her mind properly, she'll never get bored with you.
On the other hand, if you can't, every way to compensate for that is just delaying your execution.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
Excellent comment
Machiaspinner 1w ago
Eye opening answer , thank you a lot . That’s the mistake , i became really boring by answering directly which switched the dynamic.