24yo, had some bad lows, and good highs, looking for more stability without sacrificing opportunities
I'm looking for personal opinions and life advice, stories would help a lot too :)
-
Q. Is confidence more hormonal or a mindset? Personal answer: seems like when I'm on top of my sleep, take ashwagandha, make an effort to meditate I don't even have to put up an act to be successful. But then ensuring I upkeep on all of those aforementioned things, I forget to actually live and dgaf too much, which increases focus but sacrifices my social life as I'm "too responsible". I'm really athletic, I've benched 3 plates at 82kg, so my hormones are probably good but my diet is pretty lame and it feels like I'm in constant high/low mood cycles.
- Q. Better to move to a big town where you seemingly keep running into major life events or live a boring life in the suburbs? I guess I'm at the age where I'm trying to still let loose but don't want to destabilize future too much. I've done well for myself and my career could take off, but it seems like I'll have to sacrifice a big portion of my personality for it. I miss college where I could just exist, go out the door and literally make friends. In the suburbs it takes a draining level of effort to maintain a diminished semblance of a social life.
Unfortunately getting better in my career seems to involve becoming more antisocial as its a pretty nerdy thing and requires a lot of time spent in that mindset to be good at it
wswZtyqNGQ 2d ago
"Confidence" is the process of trusting your judgement. Specifically, sound judgement. This comes from years of exposure to difficult and complex situations and a track record of learning from your mistakes and updating your expectations for the next time you are in similar situations. Supreme confidence is indistinguishable from jadedness.
An experienced plumber is completed bored by a blocked toilet. With well developed and sound judgement, you will look at all social situations the same way.
Therefore, intentionally and repeatedly challenging yourself by going into situations where you have compromised sleep, etc. in order to gain experience is by far the best way to achieve confidence.
First-light 4d ago
I would say in summary that confidence is more a mindset thing overall but that hormones can give you an edge of push/ assertiveness. I would base this on the fact that an unhealthy rockstar will probably be more confident in his dealings with people than a regular guy on high dose TRT simply because he is a rock star and has learned from countless interactions that he will usually get everything he wants. Sure hormones help. JFK was on the notorious Halotestin -as a medicine not at meat head levels- and it may well have contributed to his confidence with both men and women but being a rich successful politician probably played the greater part.
Athleticism and hormones is a knotty issue. There is a correlation for sure between testosterone levels and short burst anaerobic exercise -say sprinting but powerlifting is a low testosterone sport (if clean) and longer distance running is low test too. One has to factor in things like the muscles' ability to respond to damage and the number and sensitivity of androgen receptors as well as overall testosterone levels. One then has hormones like insulin, HGH and IGF which make a big difference too. Insulin particularly makes a difference in how you feel in energy levels. Diet might make a significant difference there and as one ages, having insulin working properly will allow other hormones to keep working well too. There is also the whole pituitary gland and circadian rhythm thing to consider as well. Its all interlinked and when one is young one can abuse bits of the picture a little and still get good overall results because robust youthful health is enough to hold the frame of good hormone health. Almost no one gets away with abusing bits of their endocrine system in older age. So adopting as many good habits as soon as possible has to be good advice.
Winning is scientifically proven to increase testosterone levels and also lead to more winning so it is definitely all bound up and winning socially will improve your hormones and also improve your mindset. One of the more interesting experiments they did on winning was to castrate rats, then make them compete. Winning rats were either given test (as would happen naturally in a non castrated male) or not given test. The rats given test won more in future (like non castrated males did). The winning castrated rats not given test did not win any more than average in future. So it is all bound up. Keeping balanced good health and creating success are probably the two biggest things you can do.
There is more to do in a city for sure and its in general easier to do as well. People do sometimes worry about the quality of interactions and friendships in cities -you get quite a few people in their 30 and 40's moving away from the city to find more meaning in their relationships and so there is probably something in this. Its hard to have it all but knowing what you want, where to find it and going after it are probably the most important things. In hunting I always like the golden rule -"Go where the game is". What do you want to hunt? Where is it most commonly found? What does it feed on in preference? Where does it rest? Where does it move in heat, cold, rain, at dawn/dusk, under pressure from predators, in rut? Get there just before it and shoot it when it turns up. Lots of guys try really hard to improve their fieldcraft and their shooting and that's great but getting good at being where the animals are going to be is actually the most important skill of all. This seems to hold true in life as well. Decide what you want most from life and then go where it is easiest to get that.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 4d ago
Question 1: neither. real confidence comes from achieving things and overcoming obstacles and realizing that while setbacks suck, you'll be OK and even overcome. Confidence is also a place to fake it until you make it, at least for the purpose of getting laid.
Question 2: what do you want? No one can answer this for you.
MrSupreme 3d ago
Doesn't mean you're full of shit,on the contrary,feeling defeated and "realistic" is being full of shit.
I wasted my profesional life in my 20s,now im 36 and i still know i can save my future.But it isn't ideal,and if i had red pill knowledge then, i would have sacrificed a decade of access to pussy,a long relationship and the party,booze and weed for building up a career with all the experience,stability,self sustenance and growth it would have given me.
If you feel so inclined to stop wanking and start swimming in pussy juice,have friends,parties,meeting people and living that,then do so responsibly.Keep your your purpose in mind, nothing,no one should come between you and your ability to provide for yourself.
Plan ahead, TRP can change your life for the better.