I think I've got a bit of an uncommon situation. I'm not interested in sex - though I've got a few fetishes, pussy tits ass don't do nothing for me. Even though I've been in a couple of ltrs and had a couple of ons, I'm technically still a virgin and practiced only non-penetrative sex.
About a year and a half ago I started texting and hanging out with a girl who was an acquaintance for a long time before that. Because she really is different than all the women I've ever talked with, extremely smart, educated, can talk to her for hours, we hit it off great from the start, and there was no indication of anything sexual or romantic happening between us until I made things official with another girl a couple of months later (lmao). She jumped on me one night and I cheated (I broke up with the mentioned girlfriend after that), and from then we've been hooking up regularly, with me avoiding penetrative sex by telling her that I cannot be in a relationship with her because of a reason I can't disclose (the reason being my sexuality), and that us having sex would unmistakably lead us to a point where we're practically in a ltr.
As time went on she's been falling more and more for me, and it's reaching levels which are threatening to ruin relationship - she called me last night and aggressively pushed for answers, asking if I'm seeing anyone else beside her, to which I answered no (probably fucked up, managed to dance around that question when it was being asked in the months prior) and she told me that the moment I touch another girl is the moment we go our separate ways. A month ago she told me she "doesn't want to know any details about what I do" and when I mentioned that, she told me things have now changed and how "we haven't agreed upon seeing other people". She had this bitchy attitude different to the usual "pleaseee don't ever leave me" persona she carries, probably influenced by her girl friends or those female version red-pill type validation clips I've seen her watch. I told her I'll be honest and inform her when it happens and hung up.
Now, I'd like to get us back to the point where me being with other girls does not imply us never talking again, either by establishing the frame present before that call, or even by us going back to being just friends, if either of those are possible. The initial instinct when considering the latter is probably revulsion to that idea, but keep in mind that I'm mostly asexual and mostly aromantic. I'd be satisfied never touching her again, especially if it means she can remain in my life, as she really has grown to be something like my best friend.
Keeping it on the safe side, I think what I can do is continue texting regularly until she comes back home from college, and when we meet up in person explaining how it's essential for saving our relationship that we stop hooking up, sprinkling in some comfort like how much I like and care for her but that we simply cannot be together. On the other hand, I'm not sure she will really have the guts to leave even if she finds out I do things with other girls but I don't know how or whether to test it. I know this situation is completely retarded and it's my fault I've ended up here in the first place but I'd really like any help. We're both 21
MidgetSpinner 1w ago
Not quite sure I understand how an asexual dude ended up in a Red Pill forum.
throwaway415 2w ago
So, let me get this straight... you can't/don't want to have sex, and this girl wants to be exclusive with you, but you want to keep seeing other girls, but you're not having sex with them?
This is confusing. Needs TL;DR breakdown
HMbomt 2w ago
I don't want sex but I do other things that are sexual for me and want to continue doing them with other girls. Main goal is to keep her as a plate whilst being honest or rather removing the burden of being obligated to tell her when I "cheat" (similar to demoting ltr to plate I guess?)
throwaway415 1w ago
well if your goal is to be honest then be honest
idk what other solution you're looking for
Jackmoter 3w ago
What are your testosterone and estrogen levels?
HMbomt 3w ago
Never tested but all points to well within a normal range
Jackmoter 3w ago
Get yourself a blood panel or just a simple Testosterone test and report back. If not for my theory that they're out of whack, then for your own general health so that you can identify any deficiencies and improve your overall health.
First-light 3w ago
I don't really see why you are worrying about ideas like a relationship and exclusivity if you are not even wanting to have sex. This is a bit of a to have and have not situation. How can you really be in a relationship with her if you do not want to have sex with her?
This sounds like a passionate friendship. Either it stays so while your lives go their own ways when it comes to sex or you turn it into a full relationship. Its not fair to have her and not have her or for her to have you and not have you.
It just can't work like that if she wants you and you are basically not available. Anything you do is just papering over that chasm of incompatibility.
No-Stress-Cat 3w ago
Perhaps you should try Viagra.
Her: "What's that?" (pointing at your stiffy)
You:
BOING! BITCH!!! BEND OVER!!! RAAAAAAWR!!!
Musicgoon78 2 3w ago
Bro, I wish I could relate to your sexuality. I'm the polar opposite. Maybe explain to us what you get out of relationships and hooking up?
And why are you opposed to an LTR? If you think she's getting too close, have a candid conversation about your sexuality. See what happens from there.
HMbomt 3w ago
I suppose the benefits of relationships are the same as those you get - they allow me to do what I actually want to do sexually, along with the companionship, intimacy etc. Hookups have been pure ego though, that I admit. They do increase social proof, though, obviously.
She's not ltr material, in my opinion. Her body count is higher than mine (counting non penetrative sex on my part), messages some beta orbiter kid from uni, mentioned going to another country to work on a project with some guy (before she demanded exclusivity, but still), goes out, drinks.. Never mentioned these things to her, though.
I have been avoiding telling her about my sexuality because girls yap and it's a small town, in a conservative country. I've been considering trusting her that info as a last resort, if all else fails. Actually agreeing on exclusivity is not an option, though.
Musicgoon78 2 3w ago
Most people on the planet are going to want sex. You're probably are getting to 2 options for your future:
Continue to lie about your sexuality and lose these women all the time, or be able to make concessions so that their needs are met.
You have a rough road ahead of you, do you want to be the guy that's always hiding something?
It's my opinion that if you don't want sex, a good match for you would be someone that doesn't want sex.
Why not just keep close friendships? Without sex, that's basically what you have.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 3w ago
Why are you wasting your time, her time, and our time?
superhitops 3w ago
Wtf I just read. Well, I believe the term "your turn" is more broad than I thought.
MrSupreme 3w ago
Just out of the first paragraph I can tell this post is fishing for dislikes, basically trolling. There's plenty of space on the internet for LGBTQ and now add an A to that list. Try Semen Retention or better yet, a hobby.
No-Stress-Cat 3w ago
Who let the fembot in?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3w ago
Me but he isn't technically breaking any rules
If subsequent posts are just unwillingness to fuck then at that point it's a lost cause and will mod accordingly