I've got plenty of experience with women, but I've never experienced a situation quite like this. As per the "red pill" philosophy, I pretty much did everything "right" in the beginning. I kept her at a comfortable distance all times, always played unavailable, and was honestly banging tons of other women at the time. Truthfully, I was the toxic and shitty person, and there are a number of toxic and shitty things I did to her that, according to Red Pill Theory, probably got her to like me more over time.
I've been in this complex on-again, off-again "relationship" with Emily (29F) for about three years. We met in December 2021 when she came to the bar where I worked, and we had immediate chemistry. I'm 28 and she's 29.
Early Relationship Dynamics (2021-2023)
Initially, I was the more detached one while she pursued more commitment. We developed a pattern of intense connection followed by periods of distance. 2022 was great, and things seemed okay throughout most of 2023 too.
Emily works as an event manager, and during summer 2023, she lived in a New England coastal town that's only really populated during summer months. She works the whole season there doing events for brands. Despite the distance during that first summer apart, things were good. She would even remind me of our "anniversary" (the day we met), even though we weren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend. What I didn't know then was that during summer 2023, she met an older guy (mid to late 40s) who owns a venue where she does her event work. He began appearing in her Instagram stories (though never in her posts), but I didn't notice this at the time.
The Hot/Cold Cycle (Sept-Dec 2024)
Between September and December 2024, we went through a vicious hot/cold cycle where we would basically ghost each other by text - just being immature, honestly. While she definitely initiated contact more often, this was the first time we hadn't talked for more than a couple of months at a stretch.
December Reconnection
After two months of complete silence, Emily reached out in December. We spent what seemed like a great afternoon together, but there was a red flag: she hopped in my bed, then abruptly left after 20 minutes without having sex. This was the first alarm bell in my mind.
January Vulnerability (2025)
Around this time, I had a life epiphany. As I'm staring 30 in the face, I realized that Emily actually had all these amazing qualities I'd been taking for granted. I wasn't feeling age pressure - I just finally recognized how much I truly loved her, and how she had remained loyal despite my past behavior.
I was having my worst year ever with money issues and career problems, though I never let her know. I forced a conversation on January 12th where I expressed my deep feelings. She said "I love you too," we had a great night together, I slept over at her place and left the next morning. I felt like I saw "the old Emily" again.
Mixed Signals (January-March 2025)
The week after our January meeting, she started blowing up my phone wanting to meet up, but I was unavailable. Then the following week when I reached out, she declined. The vicious cycle continued and I didn't hear from her until late on Valentine's Day when she sent a brief text about the Super Bowl. When I suggested meeting in person, she didn't respond.
The Instagram Discovery
Around this time, my friend did some digging on Instagram and made a huge discovery. Going back to last summer, there was evidence of this older guy in his mid to late forties consistently appearing in Emily's life. The bombshell was finding out he had attended an engagement party with her, and he had posted it on his profile. This was concrete evidence they were seeing each other or least I think so. Maybe it's casual but who knows?
Breaking the March Silence
In mid-March, I broke the silence with the intention of seeing her again. Even though I had hunches about her possibly dating another man (albeit probably casually), I reached back out. I tried a new approach - being very forward and sexual, which she indulged.
We met up on Tuesday for dinner and had a long conversation where she basically said she didn't want a relationship and was focused on work. That night, she came to sleep in my bed, but just like in December, got up and left after 20 minutes. So in the past three times I've seen her, we've only had sex once. The other two times, she got up and left after 20 minutes. Odd behavior.
Surprisingly, after leaving my bed that night, she called me and we talked on the phone for 3 hours. The next day (Wednesday), we were sexting each other all day at work and then had phone sex later that night.
The Hotel Incident
Feeling like we had good momentum going into the weekend, I created a plan for us to stay at a hotel, using a voucher I needed to use. She agreed to the plan initially, but then made last-minute excuses saying she couldn't make it. My friend then saw her (and possibly the older guy) at the same coastal town she claimed she couldn't leave from. Meanwhile, she was texting me these excuses that were clearly fake.
I then suggested to cancel the plan because I thought our expectations were different for the night and then she claimed she "didn't feel safe" around me and that my messages were "too sexual" - despite actively engaging in sexual texting just days earlier. She blame shifted and then even regretted it within hours saying later that night "I would have gone but I'm clearly torn" torn about what?
The Confrontation
I sent a confrontational text mentioning "karmic blowback" and implying I knew things about her friends that would "shake her to her core." She called multiple times afterward, saying she "needed to tell me something" and didn't want things to "end this way." She threatened to block me but continued calling several times. I've ignored everything but a part of me thinks I may be fucking this up. I did this partially to regain frame and to protect my ego. I knew further arguing would be futile and getting rid of her then and there seemed premature. She's been the initiator since although not since last week.
Current Situation
It's been complete silence for over a week now. She's been posting on social media about Coachella and hasn't reached out yet. A part of me fully realizes that I can't be "mad" if she's seeing other dudes because we aren't dating but still.
I know this isn't a typical case. I could easily move on - I have a great job and I'm what most would consider very handsome and tall. On paper, everyone would say "just go get another girl." But there's something unresolved about this situation, and I find myself running on loop with regret about all the bad things I did to her over time. But mystifies me why she couldn't just break it off? Was it to keep me in her orbit? But she knows I'm not an idiot and won't tolerate it. Was she being vindictive? What level of this is about her being 29 years old?
You may accuse me of Oneitis but the list of pros about this girl vastly vastly outweigh the cons. It wasn't until the end did I see "the other side" to her. She's tall, hot, responsible, smart. Went to the same college as me. Has great relationship with her father and mother. Very family oriented and was always loyal to me. Was she blindsided by my love confession in January?I've got plenty of experience with women, but I've never experienced a situation quite like this. As per the "red pill" philosophy, I pretty much did everything "right" in the beginning. I kept her at a comfortable distance all times, always played unavailable, and was honestly banging tons of other women at the time. Truthfully, I was the toxic and shitty person, and there are a number of toxic and shitty things I did to her that, according to Red Pill Theory, probably got her to like me more over time.
I've been in this complex on-again, off-again "relationship" with Emily (29F) for about three years. We met in December 2021 when she came to the bar where I worked, and we had immediate chemistry. I'm 28 and she's 29.
Early Relationship Dynamics (2021-2023)
Initially, I was the more detached one while she pursued more commitment. We developed a pattern of intense connection followed by periods of distance. 2022 was great, and things seemed okay throughout most of 2023 too.
Emily works as an event manager, and during summer 2023, she lived in a New England coastal town that's only really populated during summer months. She works the whole season there doing events for brands. Despite the distance during that first summer apart, things were good. She would even remind me of our "anniversary" (the day we met), even though we weren't officially boyfriend/girlfriend. What I didn't know then was that during summer 2023, she met an older guy (mid to late 40s) who owns a venue where she does her event work. He began appearing in her Instagram stories (though never in her posts), but I didn't notice this at the time.
The Hot/Cold Cycle (Sept-Dec 2024)
Between September and December 2024, we went through a vicious hot/cold cycle where we would basically ghost each other by text - just being immature, honestly. While she definitely initiated contact more often, this was the first time we hadn't talked for more than a couple of months at a stretch.
December Reconnection
After two months of complete silence, Emily reached out in December. We spent what seemed like a great afternoon together, but there was a red flag: she hopped in my bed, then abruptly left after 20 minutes without having sex. This was the first alarm bell in my mind.
January Vulnerability (2025)
Around this time, I had a life epiphany. As I'm staring 30 in the face, I realized that Emily actually had all these amazing qualities I'd been taking for granted. I wasn't feeling age pressure - I just finally recognized how much I truly loved her, and how she had remained loyal despite my past behavior.
I was having my worst year ever with money issues and career problems, though I never let her know. I forced a conversation on January 12th where I expressed my deep feelings. She said "I love you too," we had a great night together, I slept over at her place and left the next morning. I felt like I saw "the old Emily" again.
Mixed Signals (January-March 2025)
The week after our January meeting, she started blowing up my phone wanting to meet up, but I was unavailable. Then the following week when I reached out, she declined. The vicious cycle continued and I didn't hear from her until late on Valentine's Day when she sent a brief text about the Super Bowl. When I suggested meeting in person, she didn't respond.
The Instagram Discovery
Around this time, my friend did some digging on Instagram and made a huge discovery. Going back to last summer, there was evidence of this older guy in his mid to late forties consistently appearing in Emily's life. The bombshell was finding out he had attended an engagement party with her, and he had posted it on his profile. This was concrete evidence they were seeing each other or least I think so. Maybe it's casual but who knows?
Breaking the March Silence
In mid-March, I broke the silence with the intention of seeing her again. Even though I had hunches about her possibly dating another man (albeit probably casually), I reached back out. I tried a new approach - being very forward and sexual, which she indulged.
We met up on Tuesday for dinner and had a long conversation where she basically said she didn't want a relationship and was focused on work. That night, she came to sleep in my bed, but just like in December, got up and left after 20 minutes. So in the past three times I've seen her, we've only had sex once. The other two times, she got up and left after 20 minutes. Odd behavior.
Surprisingly, after leaving my bed that night, she called me and we talked on the phone for 3 hours. The next day (Wednesday), we were sexting each other all day at work and then had phone sex later that night.
The Hotel Incident
Feeling like we had good momentum going into the weekend, I created a plan for us to stay at a hotel, using a voucher I needed to use. She agreed to the plan initially, but then made last-minute excuses saying she couldn't make it. My friend then saw her (and possibly the older guy) at the same coastal town she claimed she couldn't leave from. Meanwhile, she was texting me these excuses that were clearly fake.
I then suggested to cancel the plan because I thought our expectations were different for the night and then she claimed she "didn't feel safe" around me and that my messages were "too sexual" - despite actively engaging in sexual texting just days earlier. She blame shifted and then even regretted it within hours saying later that night "I would have gone but I'm clearly torn" torn about what?
The Confrontation
I sent a confrontational text mentioning "karmic blowback" and implying I knew things about her friends that would "shake her to her core." She called multiple times afterward, saying she "needed to tell me something" and didn't want things to "end this way." She threatened to block me but continued calling several times. I've ignored everything but a part of me thinks I may be fucking this up. I did this partially to regain frame and to protect my ego. I knew further arguing would be futile and getting rid of her then and there seemed premature. She's been the initiator since although not since last week.
Current Situation
It's been complete silence for over a week now. She's been posting on social media about Coachella and hasn't reached out yet. A part of me fully realizes that I can't be "mad" if she's seeing other dudes because we aren't dating but still.
I know this isn't a typical case. I could easily move on - I have a great job and I'm what most would consider very handsome and tall. On paper, everyone would say "just go get another girl." But there's something unresolved about this situation, and I find myself running on loop with regret about all the bad things I did to her over time. But mystifies me why she couldn't just break it off? Was it to keep me in her orbit? But she knows I'm not an idiot and won't tolerate it. Was she being vindictive? What level of this is about her being 29 years old?
You may accuse me of Oneitis but the list of pros about this girl vastly vastly outweigh the cons. It wasn't until the end did I see "the other side" to her. She's tall, hot, responsible, smart. Went to the same college as me. Has great relationship with her father and mother. Very family oriented and was always loyal to me. Was she blindsided by my love confession in January?
So what do you think is going on here? Should I just move on and accept this is an impossible situation? A part of me would be content smashing one more time though :)
So what do you think is going on here? Should I just move on and accept this is an impossible situation? A part of me would be content smashing one more time though :)
jediskywalker 1w ago Stickied
Thanks in advance for any advice guys
First-light 6d ago
I am sorry to say that I think you have been her plate for some if not all of the relationship. An events manager meets countless men, many eligible. She got into a situationship with you and her interest fizzled out. If you met her in 22 and only in 25 do you tell her you love her and she says she loves you, its not serious, its just a situationship for her.
I would count her as lost. By all means stay in touch but without any aim to get into her bed. then if it pops up as an option, well that is a bonus.
Jackmoter 1w ago
She count: 85.
Her Count: 46.
"Regain Frame" and "Protect my Ego" are two contradictory phrases lol.
The truth is that you have been seduced. She is living rent free in your head.
You cannot be seduced if you have a busy, active life with a vision and mission.
You should have more pressing matters on your mind. How can you tolerate all this shit? How does any of this benefit your life? It sounds like one huge energy drain.
AbusiveFather1 1w ago
It’s not an accusation, it’s a statement of fact.
Press X to doubt.
You think you were the distant one and thus the one in control, but she clearly has you mesmerised and wrapped around her finger.
Dude, she’s fucking 30, she’s been ploughed by who knows how many miles of dick, moreover you know that she was and is seeing somebody else and you still want her? To do what - marry?
There’s literally millions of tall, hot, smart, “responsible” (lmao) girls out there, and you decide to focus on the one that is out of her prime and on the brink of retirement? And you want to be her 401k? Just as you’re about to enter your prime, with your options increasing exponentially?!
She is not Padme, homie, the dark side is clouding your judgement.
AbusiveFather1 1w ago
I would totally agree with you if Emily were an 18 year old virgin that you either deflowered or haven’t done so yet but are nonetheless in a serious relationship with. And say you were fucking around with all these other women and now you’ve had an epiphany and realised that she’s the perfect girl for you, as she’s feminine, a virgin, cooks for you, cleans for you and so forth, and you realise how toxic you’ve been to her and want to fix it. If that were the case, absolutely, your concerns would be valid. But it is not the case, and I’m sorry to say that Emily is tarnished goods and you’re about to pay a million bucks for something that isn’t even worth a dollar, just because the salesman hustled you.
Musicgoon78 2 1w ago
I stopped reading after a about a quarter of this. It's way too much! I didn't finish it. I can tell that you're overly invested in this girl. I can also say that this is not healthy. Let me say that again, this is not healthy and it's not productive..
You're not going to want to hear about this, but you have an extended fling and not a relationship. It's impossible to keep a relationship that is long distance. It's going to go to shit. Ask me how I know.
You can keep this up and keep going back and forth, but you're never going to get what you want from this woman and she's probably going to Branch swing on you if she already hasn't. Stop torturing yourself.
jediskywalker 1w ago
I mean. We said we love eachother and she's told me over and over again how much she loves me and how much we love eachother. It's an oddball situation but regardless, I think you are correct. We've talked kids, marriage, and the whole nine yards. Def not a plate or situation ship but operated emotionally on a deeper level. Truth is I could have committed a while ago but never did and that's the regret. I want to hold out hope but...yeesh.
Really nothing I can do at the moment except move on...
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
I just had a long distance thing end. The only reason i considered it was because my best friend lives an hour away from her and I figured the few weeks i didn't see her i could grind on personal life. I also was in a rut after some personal events and wasn't thinking straight because I was depressed. I even stated i didn't want it to go on long term after she insisted on a label in the first place.
It ended up being shit. I don't know what I was thinking other than that I was still majorly healing from previous events in my life and in a very bad headspace and just wanted to visit my friend on aong overdue trip. Never really ended up seeing him.
I can say it burns when you have to say bye. The day you or her flies out it sucks. The night before feels cold because that's what's on your mind and when you wake up it stings. Then when you pull up to the airport you feel tight. Then you watch them walk away and wonder if it's the last time.
Then when you drive home you wonder if they're going to meet someone before you see them again.
I wouldn't recommend it, even if you're actually seeing each other every few weeks like I was. I wasn't exactly a pen pal we were meeting fairly often. I was able to see her a week at a time and she could visit me for a few days at a time.
It just doesn't work. It hurts. It plays with your psyche in a way that a local relationship or even an hour away relationship doesn't. You fight over stupid shit because you miss them. Every possible threat to your relationship is amplified five-fold.
Even when it's not an imaginary relationship it's hard. You also start overlooking obvious flaws they have because you miss them. So much of your mind is on seeing them again and counting days that you just start overlooking problems that you really shouldn't be overlooking. But you miss them too much so you start having lapses in judgement. The girl ends up getting emotional a lot and you have to contend with that. It's a mess.
I would never do it again..
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1w ago
@Musicgoon78