So recently, college has been going decently. I was sick last week but am hanging out with my neighbor soon. I’ve since been scoping out campus and I’ve noticed some seriously hot chicks that no one approaches or talks to. A lot of them are just there alone, eating or waiting for the bus staring aimlessly.
Now that I’m feeling better, I want to get my plate roster going again since I haven’t had a solid one in almost a year. I should be getting into a frat aswell, but to be completely honest: I’m not too keen at the frat guys at my school. They’re ok, but not guys I’d really be friends with. I am also very confident in my ability to go out to bars and clubs to dance with chicks but I haven’t been successful with hook ups. Maybe I’m playing things too safe but idk, I haven’t been to the bar in a week.
My problem is: I don’t want to develop a reputation for cold approaching women. I get if I start sarging in a certain spot where everyone will notice, that will be an obvious bad thing. I recently have been talking to girls from my class and they all see me as a friend because they all mention their boyfriend mid convo (happened twice).
Not to mention, I’ve been getting iois like crazy on the bus. This one girl was staring me down whenever I looked at her. She started playing with her hair and everything. Gets off the bus and I approach her and say “hi :)” and she smiles too with good body language like “thanks for the approach” but she had a boyfriend. I smiled and wished her a good day. I’ve become way more ballsy than I was before because I gave up porn and masturbation. I haven’t busted a nut in 3 weeks and I refuse to unless it’s sex. It’s making me much more aggressive and fearless, I’d catch myself saying “eh, what the fuck is the worst that can happen?” And “I deserve SEX (not from anyone in particular but you get my point)”.
Should I still cold approach on college campuses? Everyone else here is wayyyy too dorky to even attempt talking to girls so I think that’s the norm around here.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 4 days ago
I think you are seriously overestimating how much people give a shit or what their attention span is, while simultaneously underestimating how utterly preoccupied people are with their own lives and own problems
I'd say the only thing you should worry about is being a creep, which would only be the case if you had utterly shit game and bad social accumen and no ability to know when to leave a set that is unwanted
AbusiveFather1 4 days ago
Yes
You said this a million times already, yet you still go on about you needing to join a frat
User4566 4 days ago
I believe it’s because I feel like I’m the problem. I’m trying to force myself to like other people and be friendly.
Saucegod 4 days ago
“I’m trying to force myself to like other people and be friendly.“
Nothing good will ever come out of this.
I suggest you approach girls on campus, but only the ones you feel a strong, sexual desire for OR ones who give you clear IOIs. Never approach mids or anything less.
AbusiveFather1 4 days ago
And I assume you’re doing that to not be ostracized by the community - but what community is that? A community of retards that you don’t even respect?
mattyanon Admin 4 days ago
God forbid you get a reputation as a fun, sociable, outgoing guy who goes and talks to people.
Saucegod 4 days ago
Unfortunately, no one will view him like this(fun, sociable, etc), even if he approaches guys as well.
When people jump to conclusions and judge people, they always think harshly of the worst possible thing. Believe me, I would know.
If he’s doing it with someone else, he will not be seen as a creep because of social proof.
mattyanon Admin 4 days ago
If you're attractive you'll be seen as sociable.
financehardo420 4 days ago
Facts it’s only creepy if you’re ugly lol
User4566 4 days ago
Saucegod has a point, people will know that I’m just trying to get laid.
mattyanon Admin 4 days ago
No, they won't. Stop being so negative, it will not serve you well.
Learn to be more sociable and learn to care less what people think.
Saucegod 4 days ago
It’s normal to be negative when you’re ugly(not attractive enough by today’s standards). Because of the negative feedback loop.
That’s why attractive guys say to ugly guys “just be confident bro” because the attractive guys have a positive feedback loop.
You just said it yourself. If he’s attractive, he’ll be seen as sociable. If he isn’t, he’ll be seen as a creep or predator.
Men and women will shame you for getting no sex AND will shame you for trying to get sex(via approaching) if they deem you ugly. And that’s facts.
User4566 4 days ago
Well, attractive is definitely subjective. My neighbor cold approached me and is down to hang out, even going so far as to take Wednesday through Sunday off to hang out. Some chicks also don’t like me at all idk.
financehardo420 4 days ago
It’s college it’s literally a smorgasbord of sex. get after it dawg aren’t you like 6’3 or some shit lmfao
User4566 4 days ago
I forgot about that. I keep hitting my head on the way out :(
Testme 4 days ago
If you are getting the boyfriend thing, then you are doing something wrong. Read books that describe the right process.
The odds are you are asking for a date or something before a connection is being made. For one thing, don't ask for dates or numbers, just go for it. Your goal is to get her to touch you, then you touch her back. Stop making your goal numbers or shit like that. Get her to touch you. Boyfriend talk should never come up.
Lone_Ranger 3 days ago
Of course you should cold approach on campus. If you're a single man, you should be cold approaching at all times, everywhere.
But here's the thing - you have to be subtle. Just substitute the word 'cold approach' with 'friendly' and you'll be golden. Be friendly, chatty and fun with everyone. Don't escalate and be spergy and inappropriate - just be chatty and friendly and you'll soon learn to read the signals. Not every interaction results in a smash - in fact most don't. Don't focus on the "failures".
Also - don't waste time on 'frats' that you think are stupid - it won't work.
Saucegod 3 days ago
Approaching gets exhausting at some point though. You can’t approach every single attractive girl you will see during the day. Fuck that. Approach hot girls who turn you on or girls(that are attractive enough) that give you IOIs
I tried the “subtle” approach. Girls still won’t chat to you if they are unattracted to you to begin with. Remember, most men never open a woman ANYWHERE, especially during the day. So girls aren’t used to being chatted with in line at the grocery store.
Most interactions during day game don’t even result in a conversation. Cold approach does give a confidence boost. It reminds you that talking to girls isn’t that big of a deal and that they too can suck at socializing, flirting, talking,etc.
Lone_Ranger 2 days ago
You write "Approaching gets exhausting at some point"
That's only if you are putting too much effort in, and also being outcome dependent. The trick is to put almost zero effort into it and be totally outcome dependent. Women much much prefer low effort approaches - the do or die ones always get shot down because they are so needy and spergy, and hint of panty drying oneitis before you eve get started.
You also write "I tried the “subtle” approach. Girls still won’t chat to you if they are unattracted to you to begin with."
THAT'S THE ENTIRE POINT!!!! Girls that are unattracted to you will not chat with you. Now invert that logic. Girls that are attracted to you WILL chat with you. You see how valuable that is?
It means that is you are able to master the art of casual conversation, you will be able to filter the woman population into those that are and those that arent attracted to you. All it takes is 3 or so minutes of casual, low effort, non-committal conversation, to weed out those that find you attractive and those that don't.
This is how I managed things at uni. I didn't waste my time just chasing the top 5% hottest women that were not interested in me (and are a complete waste of effort and time anyway, due to insane entitlement issues) .... I was friendly polite and chatty to almost all women. Trust me, if a woman finds you attractive, they will let you know. And if a woman that is a 6 is giving you vibes and you're a 9, you can quite easily convert.