I'm 24 and I've been lurking on the TRP subreddit since I was 17. I was able to use the information there to get into an LTR. She was my first everything, etc, and making her happy was a massive motivator for me. She was really hot, but not to bright. And she was high maintenance, a little crazy, and arguably emotionally abusive. I was with her for 5 years, then she left after I was sexually assaulted at a work party.
After that, I came back to the forms and implemented everything. I got my money up and started making around 200k between my job and some projects on the side. I got into solid shape (honestly my routine is suffering due to work. I look more like Tom Hardy in Batman, when I used to look like Tom Hardy in warrior). I have great hobbies that I enjoy doing (shootings guns, watches traveling, and expensive booze.) Even with my hobbies, I live on a quarter of my income and invest the rest. I also do some volunteering and try to spend time with my friends and family.
After the break up, I was gaming girls like mad, when I wasn't working, and I was able to sleep with someone new every month or so. About 6 months ago, I realized that most women are pretty shit in the sack, and not worth the effort. So I settled on three regular plates, but even my interest in them is waning.
All of my bros say that I'm better off without her. But I'm still stuck on this chick. I've banged hotter, less crazy, smarter, girls. But I've thought about my ex every day.
I hired a therapist and she seems to think that it's tied into the trama from the assault. But I don't know what to do with that. My therapist did also tell me to write a letter to my Ex to burn all possible bridges with her. So I couldn't go back, even if I tried to.
I've tried every conventional form of moving on that I can, and I'm still contemplating just giving up on life, crawling into bed, and waiting to starve. What are next steps that I can do to move on.
Lone_Ranger 2 months ago
Buddy, I only read the headline to your post and I already knew the answer.
The answer is to smash. That is the only cure. I know you said that you had a few plates. But keep going. Oneitus is a hard thing to kick. I promise you that one day you will look back and wonder why you were so addicted to that chick.
By the way - I really don't think therapy is the way forward on this one. It's only positive life experiences that will help you. If you are young and you're making 200+ plus, then you will have lots of budget for having a good time. Invest in property. Invest in yourself. Join in with other men having fun doing manly things - like hunting, fishing, wood chopping, climbing, boxing, hiking, camping, etc etc. You'll find a way.
Onwards and upwards brother. Don't dwell on the past. The future is where all the fun is.
financehardo420 2 months ago
this is the way
financehardo420 2 months ago
lift weights n spin plates; next question!
JamesSkepp 2 months ago
99% of these types are BP and have no idea about actual m-f relations. She tied your ex to sexual assault b/c she has no other explanation.
Your problem with your ex is this:
You idealize your ex, meaning you diminish faults in her ("yes, she was crazy but... ")
You haven't found a better one so she remains top choice ("new plate A isn't better than ex so I dont get excited/care about her").
You're addicted to crazy part. Crazy chicks are addictive, inside bedroom especially. Up until the point where they become detrimental or dangerous.
Try changing the quality of girls you go for, perhaps by changing the places where you "source" them from. LA
A chick won't solve this. You're supposed to find something you want to do so much that anything else pales in comparison. Don't dedicate your life to a chick, dedicate it to yourself, she's there for the ride only and that's what they perfer anyway.
I also suspect it's not the chick, it's the "storyline" of you and her you built in your head. Imagine a movie you really like, you don't want it to end, something similar is happening here, meaning you refuse to accept the movie has ended and you expect someone else to continue the same "adventure" with you.
Shifty7591 2 months ago
Hey, thanks for the response, I really appreciate it.
Could you elaborate on what you mean by "quality" of chick? I'd be down to start gaming women from other backgrounds, but I'm not sure what I should be looking for.
JamesSkepp 2 months ago
That's for you to figure out b/c you know what kind of a girl you're looking for.
As for the more universal stuff:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/34iz2q/the_trp_field_toolkit_part_4_flags_asd_lmr_and/
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/3kgbn7/the_lengthy_red_flags_warning_flags_green_flags/
https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/8vj59o/18_red_flags_when_it_comes_to_dating_females/
But also something that moves away from the qualities of the girl and puts more focus on your values:
https://www.rianstone.com/blog/vetting1
https://therationalmale.com/2014/11/17/boundaries/
Shifty7591 2 months ago
Thanks bro, I think this is unironically what I needed.
Vermillion-Rx 2 months ago
You can't replace emotional connections with physical connections
You need to fill some of your time with other emotionally rewarding activities or zero in on her flaws so hard in your mind that you lose that connection you hold mentally
Intrepid_Place53900 2 months ago
(most women are pretty shit in the sack and not worth effort)
with many women you have to teach them. Especially young women, They are used to guys just pounding the hell out of them until they bust a nut, ok, done. Teach the girl what you like. If a girl is interested at all in you, she'll be eager to.
You sound like you are stuck on your LTR because you had a LTR with her. These other girls you are just banging. So, if you want to try out another LTR, find a better girl, someone who's interesting or at least someone willing to learn how to take care of you.
I really don't like the contemplating giving up on life shit though. Dude, girls are not your goal.
What are your goals? What do you want in life?
A girl is only someone who adds something to your life , and doesn't interfere with your goals.
Live an interesting life , with or without girls.
Get rid of the therapist.
Shifty7591 2 months ago
Honestly I think that's my big problem, there's never really been a "goal".
I've always been able to achieve what I wanted, and honestly I don't want much. I was just working that hard to achieve a "luxury" lifestyle for a wife and kids. I used to joke that I don't "want" things I "produce" results.
I guess I need to start back at square one and work my way up to actually wanting something.
No-Stress-Cat 2 months ago
Ah....the BIG ONE that got away. We all have one of those. It's okay to reminisce about the good times. Our good times and bad times are part of what makes us who we are. But that was the past, and that's where she belongs. Even if you did manage to get back with her, she wouldn't be the same woman she was before, the woman you fell in love with. She would be a completely different person, just like you are now as compared to who you were back then. You most likely will find that you don't even like her.
Also, get rid of that female therapist. You need a man therapist, who knows what it's like to be a man, and suffer like a man does. That's one reason why you still haven't gotten over your oneitis.