I'm not sure how to type this out, but I'll give it a try. Basically, most of my life I've been able to look at myself and see that I'm an attractive dude, or at least believe it and this has been confirmed through the amount of relationships I've had, compliments, and the many girls I've attracted and spent time with throughout the course of my life. I'm not saying I was ever a 10/10 though. There have been rare occasions where I've been told I'm not good looking for whatever reasons, and that's fine because for the most part the general consensus has always been positive.
But after my last relationship, I've been feeling increasingly more low in self esteem, and started to believe I wasn't good enough for anyone. I've gradually stopped talking to girls more and more because of this, and can't see myself as attractive anymore. Not just when I look in the mirror, but even looking at old photos of myself that I once thought were good, I now just see that I'm unattractive in them. I can't tell if this is because of my current self esteem, or if I've just finally snapped out of some delusion after all of these years. I'm hoping it's the former, but it feels like the latter. Does anyone have any insight?
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whytehorse2021 about a year ago
Dating apps and social media destroy self esteem. Get off them.
craftsmanmindset about a year ago
For me at least, it's very easy for me to tell where I fall on the attractiveness scale. If you can't tell, don't worry about it. As a man, you have to focus on two things - your current state and your goal state. Ask yourself - can I improve myself in any way looks-wise? If you can't, look at another area of your life to improve.
Peter_Henderson about a year ago
Take a shirtless pic and crop out your face and ask people you trust to rate you objectively.
If in doubt, include 2 "fake pics" of other shirtless people so nobody knows which person is the "real" you. Here are 3 random pics of shirtless men to help you get started:
Basically -- just ask people to rate 4 photos of shirtless men but don't tell them one of the 4 photos are secretly you. That way you can verify if they know how to rate men accurately like if they say the guy in the 3rd bulletpoint is below an "SMV 8" you know they are lying to you.