So, this girl I've been talking to for a couple months and known for 3 years... We're both 18. She is always very submissive to me, always does anything I want her to do, I took her virginity, she always sucks my dick like crazy, multiple times if I want her to, always degrade her like a little whore in bed.
About 2 weeks ago when I was at her place she told me that she knows I'm talking to other chicks. I told her yes, but it's nothing serious and that they're just friends. Everything was good after that but she was pretty upset.
We were just talking on the phone and she goes "Oh, I completely forgot I had some plans", I ask her what plans and she says "Well I was supposed to meet some (male) friends (in my native language you can say male/female friends with their own words)". I kept it cool, asked her "Friends?" and she acted like she didn't know what I was talking about "Yeah, some old friends I was talking to a year ago blah blah blah we were supposed to go with my girlfriends blah blah blah and they all wanted to drink and I blah blah". I said "So we're having friends now huh?" and she still played dumb or it actually didn't spark her what I was talking about. She also knows I'm against drinking. I started talking in a more disinterested/aloof tone and we cut the call shortly.
She just messaged me "I love you, and i forever will, you are the person I need, you are the only bright star of my future" as I'm writing this post.
I contemplated telling her right then and there on the phone that I don't like whatever she said, but I didn't, did I do well?
How do I run good dread on her and make her know that shit isn't cool with me? Something like "I was hanging out with my (female) friend" when she asks what I was doing?
Also, I'm noticing covertly setting boundaries doesn't work well with her and she doesn't seem to grasp it until I tell her strictly what shit doesn't slide. Should I tell her "I do not tolerate any male friends, talking to other men and hearing about other men. If you keep doing this, I'm not sticking around. Understood?"
unplugged69 1y ago
A lot of people will give you advice that you should start controlling the relationship. I have a question, do you think Chad thundercock would start questioning her about her friends? Start acting insecure? Then a few days later start telling her she can't have male friends? Does that sound like chad to you?
The thing is, you can't really control what she does and you can't negociate attraction or coax her into showing more commitment to you. She has to do all of that, and you then adjust your behaviour based on how she behaves. You need to read humansockpuppet's guides, how to manage your bitches and how to tease bitches.
In this case I think you need to go back to basics. If you're vetting her, you shouldn't be telling her how to behave to please you, instead if she behaves poorly she looses points and she doesn't get an LTR. You may be open to an LTR, but getting one is HER problem.
The truth is you lost face when you started asking her about her male friends. If a woman ever does something you don't like you just give her less attention, and shit like "i love you" after 2 months, especially after going out with a bunch of male friends and not inviting you is a fucking red flag. She probably did something and felt guilty.
Go read the whole thing and then let's talk: https://www.forums.red/p/TheRedPill/3524/humansockpuppet_s_guide_to_managing_your_bitches
wswZtyqNGQ 1y ago
Assume all 18 year-olds are stupid and don't understand anything unless you directly spell it out for them.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
Too logical and too invested IMO. Girls tend to dislike this overt controlling language, in a bad way.
This is simpler and states your boundary and its obvious implications covertly in a way that girls appreciate. She will probably still shit test you on it but thats good. And you must be honestly willing to act on this boundary, i.e. to walk away, if not then it's just fake posturing on your end.
chadchaddington 1y ago
I know it's not good to be overt with setting boundaries, but I swear I told her covertly and she still doesn't get it. This now seems like the last option as I simply don't want to deal with stupid shit like this anymore and am outcome independant.
There have also been situations where I told said something like "I just can't take girls with tattoos/buttlifts/boobjobs serious" and she took that very close and doesn't want to get them anymore/seems to understand I'm against it and wouldn't stick around if she got a tat.
Also, I've walked away on a couple occassions when she broke boundaries.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
Good. I agree that you need to be clearer if she's that dense. Just avoid telling her what she can or cant do, and avoid explaining what you will do as a repercussion. Instead, just do it. Much more powerful.
chadchaddington 1y ago
Okay man. Should I do it right away or wait till she hits me up and asks what I've been doing? Maybe hit her with "I was hanging out with my (female) friend" or will this cause unnecessary turmoil?
Also, still didn't respond to this:
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
This is overt dread and will be perceived as coming from a place of insecurity rather than the intended display of abundance. Generally a bad idea.
Hard for anyone else to say. Do what you want and stand by it.
This is pretty funny. Anything but a serious romantic answer works.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Yes. Set boundaries.
chadchaddington 1y ago
Okay man. Should I do it right away or wait till she hits me up and asks what I've been doing? Maybe hit her with "I was hanging out with my (female) friend" or will this cause unnecessary turmoil?
Also, still didn't respond to this:
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I don't think dread is your problem here. If you don't like her going out and fucking other guys - oops I mean going out with male "friends" and drinking - just tell her that. Like "I was planning to make you my gf but I don't LTR women who go out with other guys". Simple. Let her make her choice.
The lesson in this is about setting boundaries so that you don't end up getting your heart broken when you allow a woman to put herself in situations in which she has the opportunity to cheat or get raped. I don't let my wife go walking down dark alleys all drunk with strange men for a reason.