My n-count is 1 (not including her). Hers was 3, then 4, then right now its 4-5, if you count a date rape. No excuses really, I grew up strictly catholic and took a while to break off from that a few years ago.
She's said im the biggest and best, and said i've given her the most intense orgasms. She does initiate sometimes, but starfishes a lot.
She gives head without me asking sometimes, but sucks at it and says that she's not used to a "big dick"..eyeroll. She's never deprived me of sex really, and it's always there on demand.
My gripe is that I thought she was a unicorn but she's not. I hate picturing that she had 4 guys before me. One was a FWB (aka casual sex). She cut off contact with them all. Still, picturing her naked, kissing them, hugging them, driving to their places and shit with them sucking on her titties grosses me out. Kissing them all passionately while they rail her, then sleeping in their beds and waking up in the morning making them breakfast then eating more dick.
Also annoys me that she's got a bigger n-count than me. It makes me feel insecure as shit deep down. She's under the impression that I have an n-count around 10 but i've never even answered her questiosn about it and ignore the question flat out.
I'm 25 and she's 31.
What would you do in my shoes?
throwawayyyyyyyforme 3y ago
Dump her. Why commit? Others used her for sex. That's the kind of woman she is and that's what she's meant for.
coolsocks00 1 3y ago
At 31 that's not a lot. Idk why you LTRd a 6 year older woman but i assume it's because of inexperience and/or low SMV. Have fun, dont take it so seriously, and when you get bored find someone younger and better, as you should.
aj14 3y ago
She looks remarkably young for her age, younger than me. It's always a conversation starter when people find out her actual age. You're right about the inexperience and low SMV. I thought she was the chillest ever, until finding out that she's chill because her hoe-phase is over and she's looking to settle, while mine's just beginning...
Thanks for the advice!
Terra 3y ago
I have been there. Now she looks younger but wait Max 10y and you likely will start to get depressed because of it.
I was teling myself it can be ok if she takes care of herself and it was only 3y difference.
But time was merciless and she let her self go more than she should have.
If you cant loose attachment googles at least make sure you make and hide money in case of marriage or kID.
aj14 3y ago
Attachment goggles is spot on. She's my first for basically everything, so she's got that hook on me. I haven't led her on to know this/believe this, but shit if it's not hard to keep that frame up sometimes. Thanks for the solid advice!
Terra 3y ago
BTW.
We have split by accident. If anyone was at fault it was me, officially anyway, but since I was struggling already with how bad she looks (not terrible but bad and linear regression could be determined), I have welcomed my mistake with relief, huge relief.
Anyway it does mean that: I have lost time in the era it was easier to find normal women. It doesn't mean I enjoy current dating market. Although ai do not regret in the slightest.
And: she was really good LLTR (by todays standard), I'd wish to get someone like that today just not her.
Dont believe in her ncount. Now you have shut her honesty about it especially.
aj14 3y ago
Sorry to hear, but thanks for that story. It hits different because you've experienced that.
Any idea how I can open her up about the true ncount?
Terra 3y ago
IMO you.cant anymore,
Even being veryvcool.and open it is only indicative AT BEST
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
yup, every guy is always there biggest and best. I take that as an insult and tell the girls never to say that again. They get all upset, but it also turns them on and they get even more attached. Why?
Because , they don't have to lie to you about it anymore. They know I called them on the lie and DNGAF about being their biggest or best.
If she was into casual, trust me, it's WAY more than that.
Girls are either into casual or not, there's no middle ground If they are into it, she had a FWB, then they can have ONS, NSA with any hot guy that has mutual interest and trust me, they did a lot more than you'll hear about.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Her n-count is only 3 if you don't include a date rape, 8 one night stands, a 15 guy gang bang at a party, etc. Just act like it's no big deal and let her feel comfortable talking about it. Over time more and more will come out. Enjoy the sex while your SMV is low and keep working on yourself. In about 10 years you'll be a King and can get whoever you want.
aj14 3y ago
She's super secretive about this shit. I reacted a bit harshly on her when she told me about the FWB, because I immediately called her a casual sex slut and asked if we can move to that type of relationship since she was a leftover woman. Obviously we made up...but that little move cost me loss of respect for her and caused her to shut that valve tigther than ever.
Thanks for the great advice.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Yeah just say you talked to some guys and they said her n-count is very low, men shouldn't judge a woman by her past, yada yada all that "judgement free zone" crap and she'll let it out.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 3y ago
yes, keep working out, keep earning , going for what you want in life.
Also beware of baby rabies with this one, and all girls this age for that matter.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
I think I recall your previous posts. I believe most people (myself included) have advised you to break it off and play the field with younger women and get more experience.
You have a normal insecurity for a guy. It's bothersome when you have so few notches and your girl is outranking your count. Keep in mind it's very easy for women to get sex and most of it is bad sex.
Not all lays are created equal, women aren't exactly always getting the creme of the crop out there. But a notch is still a notch
I'd still Play the field if I were you, no logical reason for you to be in this LTR. Downgrade her to fwb and play the field if you can
aj14 3y ago
I think that's my main gripe really. I had to shed off a lot of weight and work my absolute ass off in the gym and financially to even start to get noticed. This girl, who's really nothing great, was able to literally text a coworker to get fucked every friday night.
This is what I want. It's hard to break that emotional attachment though. At the end of the day, she's really my first for just about everything, because even my prior n-1 lasted less than 10 minutes and was a ONS. I think I just have a mixed bag hahaha. I appreciate your advice though, it's really considerate above all things helpful.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
That's your problem man. She has supplied you with your entire sexual history and you're hooked. You can do better
Yes, for sex, women have it horribly unbalanced, but they often pay a price for it by not finding a solid partner later in life. Don't let their easier sexual access fool you into thinking they love their results
wswZtyqNGQ 3y ago
Of course that's true... But the fact that this is still a problem with you shows that you're still not completely accepting reality. You have more phases to go through in the grieving process. The best thing to do is to give yourself time to come to terms with reality and accept the world as it is. Then you can move onto truly being alive.
[deleted] 3y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted]
nodaysoff 3y ago
You posted the same thing for the last 3 months here. At this point you're either a troll or an autist.
MrSupreme 3y ago
That thing guys get where they start to get bothered by her n count and they keep imagining her with all those other guys and get real messed up because of it might be an effect of porn watching,years of it. just a hunch I get