I’m having an extremely difficult time with my disability, I’d really appreciate any advice on how to handle this situation.
I’m 31, was diagnosed at 26 with a neurological condition that causes me to have tremors, muscle fatigue, and general physical instability. It affects my fingers, hands, arms, trunk, neck, and legs, though it’s most noticeable in my hands and fingers. It’s exacerbated by stress, sleep issues, no food, anxiety, adrenaline, emotional states, etc.
This is what a severe case looks like - https://youtu.be/SFnWlqQ1z60
Thankfully, I’m nowhere near that level regularly, though I get pretty bad if I don’t eat or am nervous/anxious.
I’ve spent the last 5 years in a severe depression over this, but I’ve taken steps in the last few months to improve myself. For example, I started playing music again, and I’ve started to work out regularly as well.
It’s just incredibly discouraging to have my progress limited so severely. No matter how much I practice my music, I’m never going to be as good or steady as a normal person, or be able to play without this muscle fatigue. No matter how much I work out, I’m always going to have shaky muscles that make it incredibly embarrassing and emasculating when I go to the gym.
What pisses me off is that even after putting in a good amount of muscle training, I still can’t do my basic workout without getting incredibly fatigued. I also can’t do many of the hobbies I’d like to try (Hiking, rock climbing, basically anything that’s active, etc).
This isn’t even touching on the social aspect - It’s so fucking embarrassing to be in public and have my hands shaking or my legs being wobbly. My social skills are pretty solid, it’s just that my self-confidence is complete shit because the tremors make me look nervous and weak.
How am I supposed to “be the prize” when the vast majority of other guys out there aren’t disabled and have such a massive edge on me? I can’t even picture a scenario where a girl would want to be with me due to these fucking tremors (I don’t blame them). I feel like I’m deluding myself thinking otherwise.
Has anyone else dealt with a disability that caused these kinds of issues? I desperately want my life back and am always going to keep trying, but I’m totally lost on how to have confidence and be proud of who I am. If anyone has any advice, I’d really appreciate hearing it.
(As for potential treatments - I didn’t touch on that since they’re so limited. I’m in the process of trying as many options as possible, but I’m not counting on anything).
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I have autism and dyspraxia. 100% untreatable. I hate when my legs shake at the gym and the machine rattles but every time I do it it shakes a little less. I had a friend with acute Parkinson's and it was awful. You need to find a woman with high empathy.
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whytehorse2021 1y ago
I just act like there's something wrong with the machine, lol. I also use a lower weight with more reps like 20 reps. I don't deal with social situations and girls. I have a high empathy wife who is an Indonesian Muslim so I'm like a 10 to her and she's like a 10 to me because she's not fat and has a tight box ;). When I show up at the gym with this fit, feminine, friendly, submissive woman she gets evil looks from the fat, single women my age. I mean she looks 20yrs younger than me and has a ring so maybe that's why.
Lysander 1y ago
first of all i am sorry that you have that condition.
Our shortcomings, flaws, disabilities makes us human. Nobody is perfect we have to accept that. I dont have physical disability but i was virgin until 28, hadnt even touched a woman before that. i am not good looking, maybe 6/10 on a good day, but i never focus on what i cant change.
What i like about red pill is its not about getting more chicks, it is a mindset that makes us strive for a goal. Chicks are gonna be in your life for the ride
First of all have a goal in life. Financially, careerwise, relationships etc. write it down. everyday make a small step towards it. I dont care how small it is. if you cant do 1 push up do 1 half push up. Get a side hustle that you can do from home, try to make multiple income sources. Teach Music.
Compare yourself not to others but to the person you were yesterday. You are competing with him not anyone else. Fuck anyone else
Own your disability. be proud of it. dont let it an obstacle to meet women. If you cant change it, its irrelevant
Enjoy rejection, get a rejection goal everyday, ask for impossible things, go for sexiest girls. Get rejected all the time. After a while you wont even care to get rejected. Important thing is you are making attempt.
Be visible and present in life. Meet a lot of people, make videos, post shit online, gather around people with your hobbies.
I am not into new age bullshit but meditation calms me down. I am trying to be more thankful for what i have instead of being sorry for what i cant have.
Get into a routine, get disciplined, wake up early sleep early be fucking soldier.
Always dress well, smell nice, take care of hygiene.
Get regular supplements mostly vitamin D, magnesium and if you are deficient b12, zinc and selenium also. Increase your testosterone naturally. You will feel so much better. It will help your depression.
We dont have a choice man. we gotta live this life. There is pain there is suffering, some of us ugly as fuck, some of us retarded but we are men we can sculpt our mind our body we can reach for our goals. Get 1 inch closer to your goals everyday, and some girl will find it fucking incredible.
Glaceo 1y ago
Great comment bro.
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Lysander 1y ago
Dude, i am in also mentally vulnerable state due to shit happening in my life so i totally understand.
I cant emphasize strongly about supplements and vitamins in my previous post. So i strongly recommend that again.
Another thing is this, living life in auto-pilot. that helped me so much.
I am gonna give an example for that. You are into music maybe its relatable. beginning of pandemic, i told myself i wanna learn how to play guitar. Before, i always struggled to learn because i would be frustrated how i cant play complicated songs after trying and trying.
I adopted this mindset. Trusting the process not the end goal.
If my goal was playing sultans of swing by dire straits the motivation that would give me would be so limited.
Because motivation is a physical process in your body. If you take one step towards your goal and if you consider this step as a successful one you will release dopamine and you will be more motivated. The reverse is true as well. If you are not successful repeatedly you will feel demotivated.
well i cant play sultans of swing in the first year of playing guitar. therefore my goal was for the first month just holding the guitar for 5 minutes everyday, than second month playing guitar for 15 min every fucking day. I didnt care of the end goal of playing some cool song. My goal was simple, attainable, measurable. If i did that everyday, i know that 2 years later i would be good at it. Btw I can play that song now a little easier version bu i can :)
So your mental state will be fucked so accept that. there is not a simple cure. But accept that it will pass. It is a process. Just get habit tracker app in your phone. do the things i mentioned you every fucking day. Set incredibly simple goals for first month. then increase them by 1%. month by month. if you feel like slipping your goals decrease them. But do every fucking day.
Dude you are a beast, live the life auto mode trust the process and success in life or chicks will come.