We broke up 6 months ago (feels like an eternity).Were togather for more than 2 yrs. She wanted to get married and i wasn't so sure because of the percieved red flags. I was killing time until i could be certain i wanted to go through with it since I am bit more wealthy than her and have a lot to lose if the marriage goes south.
I made some mistakes and she ended it over the phone. It was anyway long distance for like a year due to Covid restrictions. Cunty leftists in my country are forcing the right wing govt to enforce unnecessary lockdown and restrictions. It also took a toll on our relationship.
I didn't chase her at all once she made her intentions clear and after she rejected my offer to fix it.
Since then i made the ultimate mistake of trying to fix it. She would call me out of the blue in the night once a month crying and blaming it all on me and i would melt and ask her to meet me so we can talk.
She kept saying she loved me and can't fathom seeing me with anyone else and she would forever be alone but not with me since I hurt her. Her reasons kept changing over time. She introduced newer complaints and if i tried to resolve one she would bring up another. Told me.she can never forget my mistakes even if they were genuine and not intentional.
She would ask me to meet after breakup and i would go foolishly to another city 8hrs away by car and hangout with her. Didt it twice. We even fooled around in bed (everything aside from sex) but still she refused to fix it and told me she doesn't know if she doesn't love me anymore or if she was just depressed. This happened one and a half months ago.
That was the last straw. I tried to reason with her that fixing things takes time and we have only met 2 times since we broke up. But she wasn't having it.
So i came back. Dumped my plate and went monk mode. Focused on myself and my goals. Vowed to never reach out. And i didn't.
She reached out to me 10 days ago. Told me she was a bit sick and wanted to hear my voice. Then she kept badgering me about if i was seeing someone seriously etc. I told her there were a few people but i was currently focusing on myself since I have a lot of things to catch-up to. I kept it short and cordial and hung up. 2 days later i gave her a call to enquire about her health. Her number was busy and she never texted or called back. I was disappointed but not heartbroken over it.
It was my birthday 3 days ago. She didn't call me. Not even a text. Although i was disappointed, i had a great time with family and friends. There's no way she forgot about it. She never did during our relationship. Her insisting on keeping in touch when I told her I don't like it and then not wishing me on my birthday has hardened my resolve to cut her out of my life completely. I know i should have done it sooner but i guess better late than never. (I don't know if i am being vindictive)
Fast forward to tonight. As i write this post seeking your advice she has called me twice. It's after 2 am in the night here. I let it ring the first time. But when she called again i declined it so she gets the msg.(don't know if that was the right move but she does what she wants so now i do it too)
I don't know why she is calling me and i don't want to find out. A part of me wants to hear what she has to say and a part of me thinks who cares it's over and i can't get back with her because she probably fucked someone else (because i definitely did).
I don't know what should I do. If i answered her call, maybe she would be crying over me, maybe she would just apologise for not wishing me or maybe she would say something that disturbs my peace of mind. What should I do? Should I call her back to find out what she wants?
Problematic_Browser 1 1y ago
Sounds like a block to me.
Just cut her out your life and move on.
Axlerod9999 1y ago
I declined her call and haven't replied to her wishes about my birthday. She anyway missed it by 3 whole days. Should I be polite or go completely scorched earth and not reply at all. I didn't call her back and it feels kind of good. I do want to know what she wanted but i guess she'll just jerk me around even if she isn't trying so there is no point
Problematic_Browser 1 1y ago
Give her nothing.
A lot of men think that giving a woman anger is a way to "teach them a lesson". All that does is let them know they can rile you up.
If you give them nothing, that's the cruelest thing you can do because they're beneath notice.
Axlerod9999 1y ago
Yeah didn't call her back. I just checked my msgs today (was on monk mode). I have a "hey" from 3 weeks ago from her. I saw it today but didn't feel like responding. Since she had done the same to me a couple of times after our breakup, i don't even feel guilty of not responding. The need and desire to know what she wants i gradually declining.
I will just let her calls and msgs go unanswered. No engagement is the best way forward. I gain nothing out of it since I always would want to fuck her but she will gain a "friend" which she wants.
xaxixh 1y ago
This is just toxic at this point. You are not a white knight, you need to look after yourself. Look at her, her selfish and narcissistic behaviour, can't you see? You need to end all the conversations with her and if t's too uncomfortable for you then tell her that you don't want her contacting you anymore. Mate, you deserve better. Have fun and spin plates.
MrSupreme 1y ago
She's engaging on some ego-masturbation on you, making you feel wanted, retrieving sex and even physical presence, just end the thing dude and find someone fresh and new or just try and find what you're looking for
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Shit, my wife never remembers my birthday unless the pharmacist asks for it while she's picking up my meds. I don't remember all the details of your future-ex-wife but you probably didn't follow my advice and meow you're drowning in this big pile of shit. I honestly don't know what to tell you meow. Maybe you should call her back right meow. Tell her she wins and you'll marry her meow. Simp so hard that Will Smith would be proud. She'll get so turned off she'll instantly dump you.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
She's doing that fucked up thing where she wants you to stick around but doesn't want to fully be with you. So she keeps trying to get your commitment, but isn't agreeing to see you or fuck you.
Basically she's trying hard to get all the upsides for her, but without you getting anything out of the deal.
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