Hi AskTrp,

As the title states I'm curious about your opinions about when to own your flaws with confidence and when to do something about it. You guys will probably say that looks don't matter but I hope I can get some answers a bit more nuanced than that. The halo effect is real and that goes beyond just dating.

I think incel lookism is extreme but I also think denying the importance of looks in this day and age is a bit of a fantasy. Although attraction can be very subjective there's science to beauty, lookism is all about that stuff. I think most of us have or have had aesthetic insecurities. Could be a big nose/forehead/eyes etc., being overweight, long neck, receding hairline, being short and so on.

Some insecurities could be relatively easily remedied such as your weight/lack of muscles, but some of the other stuff might require surgery or other procedures. Like for instance if you can't grow a beard you can use a microneedle and minoxidil to start growing one. So there seems to be a spectrum; some things can be done by habits, others by DIY procedures (dying your eyesbrows f.e., or the microneedling stuff) and other things might require full on plastic surgery/aggressive procedures such as leg lengthening which is probably at the other end of the spectrum.

But the question to you then is, how have you dealt with your insecurities? Do you not give a flying fuck about your appearance? Did you notice an improvement in social interaction/getting girls once you fixed that one insecurity/flaw, or did you learn to live with it?

I find it difficult to balance these things since I've a bunch of different aesthetic insecurities especially after Tinder got popularized. When I meet girls I usually give off an attitude of IDGAF and I'm not afraid of getting rejected so I don't think I'm one of those guys that gives off lack-of-confidence-vibes. But at the same time I wouldn't mind a higher success rate, and there's obviously only advantages to looking better.

I've a big forehead (5-5,5head) and for a long time I considered getting hairline lowering surgery to fix it. I'm sure it will look better but idk if my perspective on the situation is toxic and that I should rather just get confident about it. I'm a 6'1 white guy with a 6/10 face (as rated on several truerate me sites/forums). I don't look good with bangs so that's never been an option for me. But the big forehead is just one of several insecurities I have.

I'm aware the most important thing is the "alpha mindset", but we can also agree that if there's two guys with equal knowledge of TRP/alpha mindset and one is a 6/10 and the other is 8/10, the 8/10 is going to have the upper hand. So this post is sort of assuming that you already have confidence, and I know this post reeks of the opposite, but at the same time you also advocate for working out, therefore it seems to be a spectrum.

I look forward to hearing your experiences, opinions and insight regarding aesthetic flaws/insecurities.